Noah fell into my lap, then scrambled out again as well as he could with his legs going in all directions. He wobbled two steps away, then squatted and peed on the floor.
“Oh, Noah!” I cried, trying to shove the new diaper underneath his little bum.
Abel was bent double, laughing at us.
“It’s not funny,” I complained, but couldn’t help laughing. “At least I have a spare diaper.” I finished mopping up Noah’s mess while he tried to savage my hands with his dull puppy teeth. “Here you, respect your elders!”
Abel scooped him up into his lap, and it was on the tip of my tongue to warn him about sudden deluges, but Noah had already done that, hadn’t he? So I packed the now sodden diaper into the plastic bag with the other one and put everything away. He wasn’t going to be able to wear one in that form anyhow.
I put a hand on Abel’s arm to get his attention. “I should stay with him until he changes back. I’m sure you want to run—you don’t have to wait for me.” I couldn’t help a smile as I watched my youngest attempt to savage Abel’s finger, growling and yipping, in constant danger of tumbling off Abel’s leg and onto the floor.
“I’ll stick around,” Abel said, teasing my ferocious fluffball with the fingers of his other hand. “He’ll probably change back when he’s ready to sleep.”
“You really did have brothers,” I said.
“Uhuh. I had three. Cas is away at university, Kaden’s in the Army, Quin’s in the Marines.”
“Ah.” A lot of young shifters went into the military, especially from the poorer packs. It surprised me that anyone from Mercy Hills would feel the need to do so.
Abel flipped Noah onto his back and tickled his belly. “Kaden and Quin wanted to do something for the pack. A financial infusion. Quin’s actually older than me—he’ll be able to retire this year, and then his pension will be coming in.” His expression turned hard, though he never stopped playing with Noah.
I leaned my cheek against his shoulder, pleased to be the one offering comfort this time. “And you don’t like that,” I murmured.
He sighed. “No. It shouldn’t be necessary.” He turned his head toward me and made a valiant effort to smile. “Something else to change.”
Damn. I’d fallen in love with a hero.
CHAPTER FORTY
Once Noah dozed off in Abel’s lap, his form returned to his more familiar human one. Bax and Abel laid him in his designated crib, then left the daycare for the fenced-off areas set aside for the older babies. Teca was already asleep, but—to Abel’s complete non-surprise—Fan was still awake, and determined to run with Dabi.
“But look at all the toys,” Bax told him, holding out a stuffed pheasant that squeaked when you squeezed it. “There won’t be any toys in the woods. And there are other pups to play with. If you come with us, they can’t come.”
“Don’t want them to come. I wanna go with you!”
Abel put a hand on Bax’s shoulder. “Let’s bring him,” he said.
Bax stood up, the well-chewed pheasant dangling forgotten from his hand. “It’ll be a slow run with him along.”
“I’m old. Slow is my speed.”
“You’re not old.” Bax frowned at him, but a smile peeked out around the corners of his mouth.
“I’ve got ten years on you. Come on, any excuse to be a pup again.”
Fan jumped up and down in excitement. “Dabi, I want to play with Abel.”
Bax opened his mouth, closed it again, and regarded the two them suspiciously. “Am I going to be running with one adult and one pup, or two pups?”
Abel and Fan looked at each other.
“You have to be good,” Fan said in all seriousness.
Abel turned to Bax, his lips twitching. “Can’t argue with that.”
Bax snorted. “At least I know which one to watch the closest.”
“Yes. Fan.” Abel grinned and pulled Bax gently to him. “I’ll be watching you,” he whispered, and dropped a light kiss on Bax’s lips. Then he let go and turned back to Fan. “Okay, time to change!”
Fan stared at Abel for a moment, then began to struggle out of his clothes, refusing all help.
Bax met Abel’s eyes and shrugged. “Pups,” was all he said, and began to undo the fastenings of his own clothing.
Abel stripped quickly and changed in his wolf form. When he looked up, Bax was just finishing his own change, white fur flowing over his body like water. He’d seen Bax’s wolf form before, but that did nothing to lessen the effect. As it was, he could only stare and bless the luck that had dropped Bax on his doorstep.
Bax stood up and shook himself, then trotted over to Fan, who still squirmed on the ground, halfway done. Abel walked over to nose at the half-shifted pup, letting his own power support Fan’s whenever he got a little stuck. Shortly after, they were all on four feet, and Abel yipped, turning his nose in the direction of a section of the wood that was likely to be quieter.
Before they left, he grabbed the pheasant. Might as well bring some entertainment.
In the woods, he raced ahead, hiding behind a tree until Bax and Fan trotted past. He let Bax go unmolested, but Fan…oh he had plans for Fan. Abel left the pheasant on the ground and leaped out from behind the tree to bowl the pup over, careful not to hurt him.
Fan yelped in surprise and jumped back to his feet. He barreled after Abel, going straight for his rear hock.
Abel danced sideways and grabbed Fan’s tail gently between his teeth. He tugged once, then let go and ran away, panting a wolf laugh.
Fan gave a hunter’s yip and came after him, eyes bright, a complete alpha even at this age. They wrestled in the dead leaves, neither one seeming able to win. Abel was stronger, but Fan was small and wiggly and damned hard to hang onto.
All of a sudden, another weight landed on him. Bax laughed a wolf’s laugh at him and held him down so Fan could get a good grip on Abel. He went for Abel’s ear at first, but Bax redirected him with a poke of his snout, and Fan had to settle for gnawing on the top half of Abel’s front leg.
Abel craned his neck to see Bax. Traitor.
Bax laughed again and got off, racing around the back of the tree. He came back with the pheasant and dragged it in front of Fan. Fan completely forgot about Abel and took off at full puppy speed after his bearer.
They ended up in a tug of war, both of them growling and shaking their heads, though Abel, relaxing at the edge of the clearing, noticed that Bax was careful not to pull hard enough to make Fan lose his grip.
Abel got to his feet and trotted over. Fan had one of the pheasant’s wings in his mouth, and Bax had the tail. Abel reached in and grabbed the other wing, adding his strength to Fan’s. He shot a wicked look at Bax, whose eyes widened, then narrowed, accepting the challenge. Bax braced his feet and dug his teeth solidly into the fabric of the toy, whipping it back and forth.
Fan growled and tugged back, his little feet churning away at the damp soil. Abel huffed at Bax, and added his own steady pull to the toy. Slowly, they dragged Bax forward, step by reluctant step.
It looked like a slow loss for Bax, until the pheasant split in two and dumped them all on their asses.
They sat and stared at each other in stunned silence for a moment, then Fan jumped to his feet, howled at the moon, and bolted into the trees. The two adults looked at each other, and took off after him.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Abel had already sent Louise home for the evening, and now it was just him and Bax, alone in the pack offices. He leaned out the door between his and Bax’s office and whistled to get Bax’s attention. “Did you get hold of Bram?”
Bax looked up from his computer. “Yes. He’ll be by around eight, if that’s okay.” His smile had changed, the uncertainty in it mostly lost in his excitement over his new life. The tipping point had been Roland’s agreement to let him stay—it was if it had lifted the shadow of the past five years off of him.
Tonight was their third date, only a month since he’d conv
inced Bax to have faith in both himself and Abel. It had probably been cheating, but Abel had taken note of the novels in Bax’s belongings and done some discreet investigating into their meaning.
Okay, he’d pinned Jason down and pestered him with questions. He’d also engaged Louise as his accomplice, and they plotted together to give Bax the romance of his dreams.
The obvious anticipation in Bax’s expression was encouraging and Abel grinned as he withdrew into his office again to clear the last of his responsibilities of the day. And maybe to sneak back into the apartment and do a little preparation.
True to his promise, he was taking things slowly. They’d had a meal at the restaurant and watched a movie that was being shown in the social center the first time, keeping their interactions public. The movie had been something sweeping and emotional recommended by Louise, and he’d wiped silent tears from Bax’s cheeks and comforted him when emotion had overwhelmed him. Their second date had been in wolf form, running in the trees to the north of the town without Fan’s company to distract them. He was still in awe of how Bax’s human beauty translated to his wolf form, and he’d spent most of that evening following Bax around with both his figurative and literal tongue hanging out. Bax had been bemused by it at first, then amused, and he’d spent the last part of the evening gently and respectfully teasing Abel, with only a few awkward moments, until they found a quiet clearing to curl up together in and bask in each others’ scents. Abel smiled as he replayed the memories, pouring out some of the cider Bax had enjoyed so much at full moon.
At five after eight, a tentative knock sounded on his apartment door. Abel wiped a cloth around the kitchen counter, turned some music on low, then went to open the door for Bax.
“Hi,” Bax said awkwardly, as if they hadn’t spent the entire day working together.
“Come in,” Abel said, standing aside and making a sweeping motion with his arm to usher him in. Bax was gorgeous, in a dark, clear green that made his eyes shine. Not that Abel ever thought he was less than beautiful, but the deep, pure colors Bax tended to choose suited him wonderfully and only added to the mesmerizing effect he had on Abel.
Bax laughed and trailed his fingers across Abel’s chest as he entered, but he blushed and looked away as he did it. Abel didn’t know whether to be amused or troubled by Bax’s on-again, off-again flirtations as the man tried to find some balance between his own playful nature and the way he’d been raised and told an omega should behave. Abel rather preferred the flirtatious Bax, and he hoped his plan tonight would bring this side of his future mate out some more.
At least he wasn’t waiting for Abel to turn into Patrick anymore.
Abel followed Bax into the apartment. He loved the way Bax moved, like water flowing over stones. The other shifter stopped in the middle of the apartment and spun slowly, taking everything in.
Finally, he turned to Abel. “It’s lovely,” he said in that low, musical voice.
“I was told I needed something impressive, as the Alpha.”
“You were told?” Bax moved about the room, touching the furniture, peering out the windows.
“We built this place about four years ago. Right here is where the first buildings in the enclave were built.” Abel walked over to stand next to Bax at the window. “Big warehouse for our supplies, bunch of shitty barracks filled with bunks. No privacy, no chance to get away from other shifters. They lived like that for years while they cut down the trees and started making the place better. We used those buildings right up until I signed the order to tear them all down. I wasn’t sure about it—it is our history after all. But maybe it’s better to move past that history. I don’t know. I hope it was the right choice.”
Bax put a hand against the glass and leaned close, squinting as if he could see the gate in the darkness. “Much better not to have walls in the first place.”
“You’re right.” Abel leaned close and Bax looked up at him.
The wariness in his gaze had been replaced with the desire to trust. He reached up to touch Abel’s face, fingertips dancing lightly over Abel’s cheeks, his jaw, his lips. “No more walls.” To Abel’s surprise, Bax leaned in to kiss him, a kiss like the one full moon night, full of promise and desire. Bax’s arms wound around Abel’s neck and when Abel kissed him back, he made a small sound of pleasure and pressed the length of him against Abel’s body.
Abel ended the kiss. “I promised you slow. This isn’t slow.”
The tips of Bax’s fingertips played in Abel’s hair, a delicious sparkle of touch that made his hair stand on end. “I’ve been thinking about this. I know you want to spend more time getting to know each other, but I want to do this too.” Color rose in his cheeks and he looked away. “I’m sorry. I’m just…feeling very omega today. We can go sit on the couch and talk, if that’s what you want.”
The wistfulness in his voice struck Abel hard. On impulse, he picked Bax up and carried him to the couch. Abel had no plans to go farther than that, but it would be more comfortable. And Bax had mentioned sitting on the couch and talking.
Bax yipped when his feet left the floor, but then he laughed. Abel sat down with Bax beside him and pulled him close. “How about we talk in between kisses?”
In answer, Bax cupped Abel’s face in his hands and kissed him greedily, his hands sliding to clasp the back of Abel’s head.
There was more muscle in Bax than his slim build had led Abel to believe. He ran his hands up Bax’s spine, fingers detailing the sweep of his back, and cupped his hand over the smooth curve of deltoid at Bax’s shoulder.
Bax moaned and clutched at him, half climbing into his lap. “Please,” he whispered and dug between them for the buttons of his shirt.
Abel grabbed his hand. “No. Slow, right?” He nipped at Bax’s lips, feathered kisses along his jaw to the tender patch of skin under his ear. “We have all sorts of time. And I promised you.”
“I know,” Bax said. “But maybe now is the time?”
Abel put a gentle finger against his lips. “I don’t want to screw this up. What if it is too soon?” He took his finger away and brushed the dark curls away from Bax’s eyes. “I’m afraid I’ll lose you.”
“Oh.” The startled expression on Bax’s face gradually faded to comprehension. “I never thought you might be afraid of anything.”
“Where you’re concerned, I’m always afraid. So lets take this slow, okay?”
Bax nodded and let his head rest on Abel’s shoulder. “Does that mean we have to stop?”
Abel smiled and kissed his head. “Only when my heart does.”
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Abel seemed determined to give me until forever to get over whatever psychological twitch it was I had about sex, but I wasn’t that patient. Roland had agreed to Abel adopting my pups after some negotiation on Abel’s part that involved the solar panels he’d shown me my first day, and training one of the Jackson-Jellystone youngsters in how to maintain them. We were supposed to travel down to interview them in January, and I was determined that Abel would be honestly capable of claiming carnal knowledge of me before then.
We’d done a lot of kissing since Harvest Moon. Lots and lots. It had helped a little to erase my memories of Patrick. And, not only had it given me new memories to lay over those of my late mate, it had stoked the fires of my own desire, until I was almost mad with it. My own solo explorations of what I could bear and what I couldn’t had continued. Slowly, leaning heavily on my memories of Abel and his touch, I’d pushed Patrick away, breaking those memories into shards that I swept out with all the other trash I was determined to rid myself of.
We’d planned to spend Christmas Day together as a family, news that on the morning of Christmas Eve had sent the pups into paroxysms of joy.
But tonight? Tonight was for us.
I’d hired Bram to come watch the pups while I stole over to Abel’s apartment. Abel thought I was coming over for a drink and another session of frustrating kisses on his couch; I had somet
hing else entirely in mind. The last couple of days I’d been obsessively reading and re-reading all my romance novels, and any new ones I could get from the pack’s tiny library. I was ready.
The pups and I were still in the guest apartment, something I planned to change as well. We were going to be a family, I had no worries about that, and I found myself aching for Abel when I went to my lonely bed each night.
While I’d spent most of my extra money on Christmas presents for the pups—and Abel—I’d managed to keep a little bit back for myself, to buy an extravagant silk shirt in a vibrant Christmas red.
I put the pups to bed, and convinced them to stay there so the Midwinter Wolf would bring them presents. They were wound pretty tightly, but I’d made sure their days were as full of activity as I could manage, and one by one they all dropped off to sleep. I waited a short time after, to make sure, but as soon as I was certain they weren’t going to come crawling back out again, I jumped into the shower and cleaned up, then dressed in my dress pants and the new red shirt.
It shone brilliantly against my skin, my neck rising like white birch out of the V of the collar and reflecting in the blush on my cheeks. I spent some time over my hair, coaxing my curls into order and, daringly, added a thin black line of kohl around my eyes—another extravagant purchase. I had no jewelry that suited, but, wearing this shirt, perhaps I didn’t need any. And the point wasn’t to look pretty in my clothes anyway, but for the clothes to encourage Abel to help me take them all off.
As un-Alpha-like as I sometimes found him, he was a match for my Fan in alpha stubbornness. But his respect for me as a person was getting on my nerves.
I was puttering back and forth between the kitchen and the bathroom, too nervous to eat anything, or to leave off fussing with my clothes and my makeup. A knock on the door made me jump, then relief hit and I rushed to open it.
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