by L. P. Maxa
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, but you’re a professional and drinks always taste better when someone else makes them.” Jacks turned to Dylan. “Did he make yours?”
“Yes.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Is it delicious?”
She nodded. “It is in fact delicious.”
Jacks looked back at me. “See?”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I’ll make you a drink, you big baby.” I got up and called down the hallway, “Anyone else want a drink while I’m up?!”
Luke and Dash both answered, “YES!” at the same time.
I went and played bartender, making everyone’s drinks in Styrofoam to-go cups so we could take them with us. The sound of Dylan’s laughter reached my ears and I turned to see her giggling at Jacks while he smiled and winked. Mother fucker. I grabbed the bottle of jack and poured another two shots on top of his drink before carrying it over to him. He took a big sip and then winced, glaring at me. I glared back. “Luke! Dash! Come get your drinks.” I looked down at my watch, the Rolex a gift from Dash two Christmases ago. This was the first time I’d worn it. “Chase will be here in about ten minutes.”
Dash came down the hall, eyes wide. “Are you wearing a watch?! And you know what time Chase is coming? I thought I’d never see the day.” He took his drink, addressing me over the rim. “Are you ready, after all?”
I sat back down next to Dylan, dropping my arm around her shoulders. “I think I’m getting there.”
Chapter Twelve
Dylan
I found myself side stage once again, watching the Devil’s Share perform to a stadium-sized crowd. Lexi was dancing around beside me singing every word and Dagger was sprawled out on his side wearing his ridiculously rock-and-roll headphones. There were people constantly walking around behind us, but none of them got too close. Chase and a couple other guys whose names I never caught had formed a line, sectioning us off with their bodies. Every so often Smith would look over and catch my eye. I’d smile, he’d smile, and I’d smile bigger.
“It’s flattering, right?”
I leaned closer to Lexi, not sure I’d heard her correctly over the music. “What?”
She cupped her hand to my ear. “Smith looking over here, making sure you’re watching him, letting you know he’s watching you. It’s flattering.”
As much as I hated to admit it, it was über flattering. Every time he glanced over in my direction, my pulse would speed up and my throat would go dry. I needed him to kiss me. I’d slept next to the man, twice. He found every excuse to touch me. But, no kiss. Wait. No. I did not need him to kiss me. Him kissing me would be bad. Very, very bad. Get it together, girl. I was a professional, I had a stellar reputation back in Florida and I intended to go back to it as soon as this tour was over.
Lexi grabbed my hand and spun me around when the next song started. “I love watching Dash perform. It makes me hella horny.” She spun me again.
Horny? I could relate to horny. Like I said earlier, it’d been a very long time since I’d had a date, let alone a sleepover. And sitting next to Smith all day? Not helping. He was gorgeous and he smelled really good all the time. I’d started having fantasies about what his body would look like naked. I was sure it was the stuff dreams were made of. And Lexi hit the nail on the head about watching these guys perform. I don’t know how you could watch them and not get turned on. Every move they made, every song they sang, it was all sexual. Dash’s mouth against the mic coupled with the smoke and whiskey sound of his voice. Luke on those drums with the muscles on his arms straining against his tight shirt. Jacks wore the sexiest smile I’d ever seen while he played to the crowd. And the way Smith strummed his bass? It was almost like he was getting off on stage. The women in the crowd went crazy for all of it. Maybe that was where the flattering part came in. I was watching these women scream out Smith’s name, they would flash him and beg him to look at them…but the only one he locked eyes with was me. I felt like the only girl in the world, because that was how he was treating me. Dammit. Just like I’d told Lexi the night before: cocky, cracked-out rock star Smith? Easy to deny. Attentive loveable Smith? I didn’t stand a chance.
Lexi bumped me with her hip, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Earth to Dilly…”
I giggled at the stupid nickname. “Sorry, I’m here. Just thinking about…well, to be honest…I was thinking how sexy all those guys look up there.”
“Told ya. Horny.” Lexi grabbed my hand and spun me around again. “Like I said before, don’t fight the party. But, do be cautious when it comes to Smith.” She held up her hands when I opened my mouth to protest, “I am the last person to give you the whole rock-stars-are-bad-news speech. All I’m saying is Smith has had a rough life. He’s a good guy and I don’t think he’d ever hurt you on purpose…but that doesn’t mean you won’t end up hurt all the same.”
I turned towards the stage and pulled my lower lip through my teeth when I saw Smith watching me. His eyes went to my mouth, and stayed there. Seeing the heat in his gaze, the way his throat worked to swallow, was almost more than I could handle. Heat pooled in my core and my breath caught in my throat. Lust. In this moment, I felt so much lust for this man it was over whelming. Double dammit.
Thankfully, Lexi saved me from spontaneously combusting on the side of the stage when she wrapped her arms around me and started swaying to the music. She was handsy for a chick. Crap. I called her a chick. “So do we get to stay for the whole show tonight? Or are your intimidating new security guys going to be escorting us back to the bus soon?”
“We get to stay! That’s why Chase hired more security. I told Dash I refused to sit on the bus every night while they partied out on stage.” She put her mouth closer to my ear. “And they are our intimidating new security guys, Dilly. Dash was going to hire two more; Smith insisted on four.”
Jacks looked over at us and his eyes widened when he saw Lexi’s arms wrapped around me and her face close to mine while we chatted. He grinned like a sixteen-year-old that had just been given a new Porsche. I could feel Lexi’s tiny belly shake with laughter. I licked my lips and danced against her to the beat of the music, giving myself permission to play and have fun with Lex. I was doing that more and more lately—giving myself permission to let loose. I’d almost forgot what it had felt like. Jacks’s jaw dropped open. I snorted and stepped to the side. “Could he be any more predictable?”
Lexi blew him a kiss and then turned around and wiggled her ass. “Jacks is as typical a male as they come.”
A few songs later Dash screamed, “Thank you! And good night!” into the mic and then the guys headed off the stage. Dagger got up the second the lights went down, like he knew that his cue. Dash got to us first. He picked Lexi up in a big hug lifting her off her feet. “Kitten, don’t think I didn’t see you shaking your ass in those insanely tall high heels.” He sat her down and kissed her lips. “If you would’ve fallen, I’d have stopped the show. You’ve got to be more careful, or wear more sensible shoes.” He reached down and scratched Dagger behind the ears, removing his headphones.
Lexi made a face of shocked outrage. “Wear more sensible shoes?! I am pregnant, not crippled. Plus, I only danced when I was hanging onto Dilly. She wouldn’t let me fall.”
By now the rest of the band had joined us. Smith ran off the stage right to me, but then he seemed to stop short. Almost like he was unsure of what he should do. In the end he playfully slung his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. He smelled sweaty, but in true Smith fashion, in the most amazing way possible. Damn pheromones.
Jacks stood from showering Dagger with love and pointed a finger in our direction. “You two little cock teases need to behave yourselves over here. I almost forgot my cords, twice.”
Smith reached out and smacked Jacks the same time Dash did, so he got double bitch slapped for calling us cock teases. Defending me and hiring extra security? Did Smith like me? Did my crush have feelings for me? I felt like a giddy
schoolgirl. Stupid dopamine.
Luke looked between Lexi and I, confused. “What is he talking about?”
Lexi shrugged. “Dilly and I were dancing together, totally innocent, and Jacks got all hot and bothered by it.” She kicked her foot out and caught Jacks in the ass. These people enjoyed kicking each other. “Not our fault you’re such a horn dog.”
“Dilly? That’s a horrible nick name.” Luke shook his head. “What is it with you and bad pet names, Lex?”
Lexi stepped away from Dash and put her arm through mine, “It’s a great nickname and she loves it. Don’t you, Dilly?”
I nodded. “Love. It.”
Lexi gave me a peck on the cheek and Jacks threw his hands in the air. “See! Right there. They are toying with my emotions.”
Smith stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my chest, enveloping me once again in his sweaty, sexy body. “Cher, stop playing with Jacks’s dick.”
“I said they were playing with my emotions, bro.” Jacks looked at Smith like he was a dumbass. And then turned a wicked smile on me. “But if you wanna play—”
Smith reached out and popped him again. “You don’t have emotions. All your feelings stem from your dick.” You could hear the smile in Smith’s voice while he messed with his friend.
Jacks looked at Smith, then at me, then Smith’s arms around me. “Oh, yeah? And yours don’t?”
I felt Smith stiffen behind me. I didn’t want Jacks to mess with him; I wanted Smith happy and smiling. As detrimental as it was to my pledge to not have sex with a rock star…I still wanted him happy. It seemed when Smith was left to his own thoughts he went dark. I turned around in his arms and looked up at him. “Hey.” I waited until his narrowed gazed left Jacks and met mine. “I am becoming increasingly fond of watching you perform out there.”
He raised one eyebrow and smiled his adorable smile. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “Now take me home and introduce me to the best show on television.” I’m not exactly sure what came over me, or what made me call the bus home. But my words made Smith smile even bigger and then lean down and kiss my forehead. That was the second time he’d done that today, and let me tell you, I was really starting to like it.
Smith addressed the group over my head without letting me go. “We’re going to head back to the bus, y’all ready?”
“I’m going to go grab Cali.” Luke shot Lexi an irritated look. “I thought it would be safer if I got her good seats instead of letting her hang backstage.”
Jacks chuckled and said, “Good call.”
At the same time Lexi scoffed and said, “She’s a two-timing whore.”
Dash grabbed Lexi’s hand. “We’ll head back to the bus with you guys. I gotta get preggo here out of those dangerous shoes.” He turned to Jacks. “You coming, man?”
Jacks looked over the wall of security to the throng of groupies, shaking his head. “Nah, I think I’ll go do some, uh, meet and greets.”
“Take a security guy with you.” Dash pointed at Jacks.
“What?! Since when do I need a babysitter?!” Jacks was once again pouting like a child.
“Uh, since I fucking said so. Don’t even try to act like having an audience will bother you. Now pick a guy, and take him with you.” Dash snapped his fingers to his side and Dagger left his spot against Jacks’s leg. Lexi put an arm around Luke’s neck and whispered something in his ear that made him light up. The effect that girl had on him… Dash waited patiently, wearing an irritated look, until Lexi left Luke and grabbed his hand.
***
Smith held my hand the whole way back to the bus, running his fingers lightly over my palm and making me want to mount him. I’d tried to keep the butterflies at bay, but they still took flight in my stomach. He’d gotten a phone call the second we got out of the SUV and stayed outside to answer. I was doing my best not to care who he was talking to. But just like those damn butterflies, my heart had other ideas. My heart and my eyes. I kept looking out the damn window every few seconds. Pathetic.
Chapter Thirteen
Smith
As soon as everyone went inside, I answered my phone. I didn’t recognize the number; the area code was the same as the one our lawyer called from. I figured it had something to do with Jared’s upcoming trial. “Hello?”
“Smith?”
Holy fuck, I hadn’t heard my dad’s voice in years. “Yeah?”
“We need to talk, son.”
Son? Since fucking when? I stayed silent.
“You there?”
“What do you want, old man?” I’m sure it was a tossup between money or a favor.
“The state cleared Jared, medically I mean. His trial starts in a few weeks.”
So I had been partially right, this phone call was about Jared. My blood ran cold at the prospect of seeing my family again. I could stay hidden in New Orleans if I really wanted to, but the trial? I’d have to be on the stand; I knew I’d see them. It had been years since I’d laid eyes on any of my family, except for my cousin. I hated my dad. I hated my uncles. When I left home, I’d never looked back. “And?”
“Family sticks together, boy.”
Was he fucking high? Probably. “What in the hell are you talking about? He tried to kill me.”
“Now, we both know that if he wanted to kill you he would have. That gun going off was a fucking accident. It was the damn dog that caused all this. It should be put down. You need to stand by your cousin. You need to tell them that it was all an accident. You may have fancy lawyers, but Jared doesn’t. He will spend life in prison.”
I felt sick to my stomach. This old bastard wanted me to lie in court. He wanted me to commit perjury to save the man who almost killed not only me, but also Lexi and the baby. “You’re fucking insane.”
“Now you listen to me you little shit. Jared just wanted to talk some sense into your bitch ass. That groupie whore should have kept her butt in bed where she belongs. You tell the courts it was an accident, or so help me I’ll beat you to within an inch of your life.”
I was a grown man, but his words gave me chills. He’d beat me more times than I could count. A belt, a switch, his fists…whatever was handy. Whatever would cause the most damage. “I won’t lie to save Jared. And the fact that you thought calling me and threatening me would make me? Just shows how fucking off your rocker you are. Lay of the meth, you sorry ass excuse for a human.”
The chuckle he let out was deranged. “You think just because you got money and pussy for days, you’re better than me? Nah, you and me are cut from the same cloth, son.”
“I’m fucking nothing like you.” My dad was an abusive, angry liar with a shitty temper. I was even keel. I’d never raised a hand to anyone in anger…well, not since I’d left home. But the liar part? That might have some truth to it.
“Keep telling yourself that, boy. Maybe one day you’ll actually believe it.”
I hung up, resisted the urge to shatter my phone on the ground and took off. My brain switched to autopilot and I went looking for a distraction. I didn’t have to look too far either—about fifty feet from the bus I ran into the road crew and about ten different groupies trying to use them to get to us. Jacks was in the middle of everyone, enjoying all the attention.
Jacks’s grin turned wary when he saw me. “Smith! My best friend, my main man, what are you doing out here? I thought you had plans with our sexy nurse?”
One of the girls left his side and sauntered over to me, throwing her arms around my neck and whispering sinful promises in my ear. My hands went to her bony hips on their own accord. I shrugged, looking over her head at Jacks. “I did. I…” I didn’t know what to say. I did, I do? I needed more of an escape than Dylan could offer me? I was afraid of ruining her, of snuffing out her light with my dark? I was fucked up beyond repair and I’d destroy her?
Jacks stepped away from the group and walked to me, untangling the chick from around my body—much to her drunken dismay. He grabbed me by the neck and pulle
d me to the side. “Get out of here, man.”
“What? Why? Come on, I want to party.” Didn’t I?
He shook his head, “No you don’t, bro. It’s written all over your face. You don’t want to be here. You think you need this? You don’t.” Jacks looked back towards the bus and smiled.
I followed his gaze. I could see right into the big bay window. Lexi was shoveling cookies into her mouth as fast as she could while Dash sat oblivious to it on his phone. And Dylan, she was sitting in the recliner, looking out the window. Was she looking for me? Did she know what I was doing? Would she be disappointed? I should follow through. I should grab that chick and whatever drugs she had up her skirt and get out of here. I’d get my escape and save Dylan the heartache I was sure to bring all in one fell swoop.
“Go home, Smith. I don’t know what happened just now that sent you out here, but don’t ruin what you’ve got going there.”
I looked over at my bandmate. He’d never once stopped my party. “Come on, it’s not like that. She’s great, but I need…” I needed drugs. I needed meaningless sex. I needed to destroy what was left of my soul. I was disgusted with myself.
“You’re right. Dylan is great, and she’s choosing you.” Jacks shook his head, his eyes hard and angry. “Choose her.”
Choose her. Could it be that simple? I turned and left. I put one foot in front of the other and took myself and my suddenly crappy ass mood home. Home to the girl I was starting to fall for. Home to the only real family I’d ever known. I knew Dash and Lexi weren’t going to let my sour attitude go; I knew there’d be a discussion. But at the end of, I’d still be next to Dylan, and maybe that would make it all worth it.
Chapter Fourteen
Dylan
Dash and Lexi were sitting on the couch, a bag of Oreos between them with Dagger at their feet chewing on the biggest bone I’d ever seen. That dog got treated like royalty around here. He had a large plush dog bed in this room and in Dash and Lexi’s. His collar was engraved leather and his dog food was all high quality and organic.
