“You get the same look on your face when you look at Rodie as when you look at Willa. Are you jealous of Cary? You know, of her having kids.”
“Nooooo.” She’d hope for definitive and got whiny instead. She cleared her throat. “No, Kade, I’m not jealous. I’m just not crazy about kids.”
His laughter caught her by surprise, but the look on his face told her he wasn’t amused. “You loved kids.”
“Loved is the optimum word here. I changed my mind. They’re too much trouble.” Maybe that would make him back off. She was an evil kid hater, and she knew he loved kids. That’s something they’d talked about years before in their someday conversations. They’d talked about having kids one day.
One day they did, only Kade wasn’t around, and Maxie didn’t live.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Whatever thought had just gone through Pansy’s mind showed up as pure, red-hot anguish. Kade strode across the room and pulled her into his arms by instinct. He tightened his grip and held her wordlessly.
Her body shuddered and hot tears dampened his shirt.
He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, but all too soon, Pansy put her hands on his chest and pushed away.
She ducked her head, refusing to look at him as she picked up the coffee cups scattered on tables around the room.
“Talk to me.” Kade followed her into the kitchen. “Please.”
When she ignored him, he regrouped. “I want to ask a favor.”
Pansy kept her back to him as she washed the dishes. Finally she turned. “I can’t promise I’ll do it. In fact, I’m pretty sure I won’t, but what is it?” She wrung out the dishrag and wiped down the counters as she spoke.
“There’s a barrels and bulls event in Bend tonight. I want you to go with me.”
“Tonight? No, I can’t. I’m helping Cary and Micah. Sorry.”
“Micah and Cary will be okay for a few hours. Come on. I promise to leave you alone if you come with me. No more questions.” Kade watched as she thought over his proposal. He had no intention stopping his inquiries, but he wasn’t about to tell her that.
As Pansy thought about what he’d said, he could read the struggle as it crossed her face.
She didn’t want to go anywhere with him, but he’d guessed correctly that she was keeping something from him and wanted the questions to stop.
“This one trip? I go, and then you leave me alone?”
Kade nodded. “No more questions, but I’ll listen if you want to talk.”
She looked at him from the corner of her eyes, not trusting what he was saying. “I won’t want to talk.” The reply was flat, not an ounce of ambiguity in any of the five words.
“So you’ll come with me?” Kade was afraid to get his hopes up. If he could get her in the truck for the two hours it took to get to Bend maybe they could find a way to reconnect. “We’ll leave at four and get dinner on the way. If that’s okay with you, that is.”
Pansy twisted the chunky turquoise and silver ring she wore on the index finger of her right hand. He’d noticed it the first day he’d seen her again in the café. He’d noticed because she’d never worn jewelry when she was younger. Her father wouldn’t have allowed it.
She raised her gaze from the ring. “Okay, but don’t worry about dinner. I’m fine.”
“No, if I take you on a date, I’m buying dinner.” That was the exact wrong thing to say, and Kade knew it the moment the words came out of his mouth. “Not a date. I didn’t mean a date date, just a mutual trip to an event.”
For the first time since the conversation had started, the corners of her lips curved up. It wasn’t a smile. It was a not –frown, and that was good enough for him today. Baby steps.
“I’ll meet you on the porch at four.” Without another word, she hurried upstairs.
By the time Kade fed the animals in the barn, showered and got into his best clothes, he found Pansy sitting on one of the Adirondack chairs, watching the sunset. A picnic basket sat at her feet.
He nodded at the basket. “Packing for an overnight?”
She snorted, and he smiled. When Pansy snorted, it meant she thought whatever was going on was beyond ridiculous and beneath comment. “This is dinner. I packed some leftovers. We can stop along the way.”
“I said I’d take you out to dinner.”
“Kade, you ride bulls for a living, and you haven’t even been able to do that for three months. I’m trying to save you some money, and I don’t mind.” She stood, picked up the basket and headed for his truck.
It took more than a few minutes to reach Highway Twenty, but he waited until they were headed to Burns before he spoke. “You think I’m broke.”
“Do you work another job?” She watched him, her expression kind and filled with pity.
“No, I ride bulls.”
“Even if you save a lot, with expenses and all, you can’t have much. I’ve rodeoed, remember. I know how much it pays.”
Kade let himself relax. “Have you ever watched a TBC event?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t had anything to do with rodeo for a long time.”
“It’s changed. I’ve made a good living, better than good. I’d have made quite a bit more if Swamp Fox hadn’t thrown me off at the finals last year.” He’d never cared much for money, but it felt good to show Pansy he wasn’t a loser like she obviously thought. “I’ve got enough saved to put a good down payment on a ranch when I’m done riding bulls.”
Kade focused on the passing landscape as he waited for her to answer. He’d always liked the high desert. Where others saw dusty desolate hills, he marveled at the pinks and grays, silver-greens and rusts of the sagebrush and the sandstone buttes. He never tired of spotting herds of antelope and mule deer or watching hawks circle above. When he was done competing, this is where he’d call home.
Micah was already keeping an eye out for some ground for him to buy. A nice little ranch for when he was ready to retire.
“And when will you be done?”
Instead of being impressed, she’d asked the one question he wasn’t ready to answer.
~*~
Within a few minutes, Kade pulled into the rodeo grounds. The lot behind the arena was filled with horse trailers, cars and pickups. A cattle hauler backed up to a loading chute, opened the gate and a huge speckled bull walked regally down the ramp to the pen, followed by an equally spectacular black one.
“I don’t remember them being this big.” Pansy leaned against the fence as they watched the rest of the animals unload. The sounds and smells were the same though. She hadn’t thought she’d missed this, but rodeo had been a big part of her life for as long back as she could remember. It had been her escape.
If the price hadn’t been too high, she’d love it still.
Kade stepped down from where he’d been perched on the fence and took her hand. “Let’s go. I want to find Cody.”
“Cody?”
“He’s a friend of mine. He owns these bulls.” He led her through the pens to a gate leading to the arena. They walked down the front of the grandstands toward the bucking chutes.
As the sun settled in the sky, the gloom was chased away by large halogen lights. A tall cowboy with bright red hair climbed over the chute and dropped to the arena floor. He closed the latch on the chute then walked toward them, his grin reminiscent of Howdy Doody. “Hey, Gunslinger.”
“Codeman. How ya doin’?” Kade clasped his hand then they did a fancy fist bump. “How many bulls you got here?”
Pansy stepped back, watching the two men interact. By the easy camaraderie and good-natured teasing, she suspected they’d been friends for a long time.
“Pansy, this odd bugger is Cody Matthews. Codeman, this is Pansy Lark.”
Pansy stepped forward, warmed by Cody’s grin. “Hi, Cody. Nice to meet you.” She held out her hand, not sure if she knew how to do the fist bump ritual. She needn’t have worried. Cody pulled her into a short hug.
The man steppe
d back then looked at Kade. “Gunslinger, it doesn’t make any difference if we’re in New York City or Podunkville, you always find the prettiest ladies, and this one tops the cake.”
“Mind your manners, Cody.”
The warning fell on deaf ears. Cody turned to Pansy. “Honey, where did this worthless piece of crap find someone like you?”
Kade stepped between Pansy and Cody then threw his arm over her shoulder. “And you never have learned to keep your hands to yourself and your mouth shut.”
The touch of jealousy in Kade’s voice seemed to make Cody smile. He raised his hands in surrender. “Pansy, when you get tired of the Gunslinger here, you look me up.”
“Don’t you have something that needs doing?”
Cody’s grin widened as he fished in his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Day sheet.”
As Cody walked away, Kade looked down at the crumbled paper.
Pansy took it from him and smoothed it on the stadium seats. “Here.”
He folded the day sheet one more time and stuck it in his shirt pocket. Taking Pansy’s hand, he sat then pulled her onto his lap. “Look, he’s just joking. You know, about finding all the women.”
The small jolt of jealousy was gone before she had time to resist it. Kade wasn’t a monk, although the thought of that made her grin.
She’d even had a few flings since she’d left Montana, not that they’d lasted long or meant anything. “You always did have a knack for getting the girls to follow you around.”
“But I didn’t act on it when I was with you.”
The warmth of Kade’s arms around her, and the look in his stormy gray eyes was like a welcome home party. “You never did, but I know you didn’t spend all those years apart pining for me. You had your life, and I had mine.” Not that hers had been so great, but he didn’t need to know that.
He raised his hands and cupped her cheeks. “Pansy, there was never anyone but you.”
When his lips touched hers, a feeling of rightness overwhelmed her. All these years, she’d thought she’d been living. Now she knew she’d merely been surviving.
Pansy gave herself up to the feelings flooding her brain. Loving Kade insured heartache was in her future, but she hadn’t felt so complete since he’d gone.
She ran her fingertips up the back of his neck and tangled them in his hair like she used to, scraping her nails softly over his skin. Kade’s groan set her heart to racing.
When she got back to East Hope, this kind of behavior would have to stop, but for once, she was going to throw caution to the wind and hope the wind didn’t whip it back into her face.
Kade deepened the kiss. His hands roamed up and down her back as she pressed into him.
She heard a snicker and became aware of more people climbing the stands, searching for the best seat. Pansy put her fingers on Kade’s wrists and moved his fingers off her face.
“Let’s go somewhere else.” His voice was hoarse, his eyes dilated, probably much like her own.
She gave herself a quick lecture on propriety; she was her father’s daughter after all. Standing, she pulled away from his warmth. “You brought me to see your friend’s bulls. And watching bulls is what we’re going to do.”
CHAPTER NINE
What the hell was the matter with him? He was acting like a horny teenager, making out with Pansy in the grandstands, but he wasn’t sorry one bit. Well, he was sorry she’d shot him down, but she’d always been the sensible one.
She’d pulled his T-shirt from his jeans, and it was a good idea to leave it out. No use getting more ribbing from his friends. He could take it, but Pansy would be embarrassed.
The grandstands had filled almost to capacity. He patted the bench beside him. “Sit down. It’s not that long before the show starts.”
Pansy reached into her pocket and pulled out a ten-dollar bill. “I’m going to get a couple of beers.”
Kade stood. “I’ll go with you.”
“If you do, we won’t have seats when we get back.”
Every seat around them was filled, with more people trying to squeeze in. They had a standing room only crowd. Good news for Cody.
He kissed Pansy on the cheek and took his seat. In the past, watching her walk away had always been one of his favorite pass-times. Watching Pansy approach was the only thing better.
He shrugged out of his coat and used it to save her spot. Pulling the day sheet out of his pocket, he ran his finger down the list, finding old friends among both the riders and bulls.
“Kade!”
When he heard his name called, he stood just in time to catch Connie Martin as she threw herself into his arms.
Connie’s high-pitched, almost cartoonish voice and boyish figure hid the fact that she was one of the best barrel horse trainers in the country. As far as he knew, a tougher woman had never thrown a leg over a horse.
The brim of Connie’s cowboy hat bumped against his then fell to the dirt. Her infectious giggles made him grin. “Where have you been? Don’t tell me you retired.” She gave him a soft poke in the ribs then bent down for her Resistol.
Kade watched as she finger combed her bangs off her forehead then settled the hat on her head. “Nah, Swamp Fox decided I needed to take a little nap. He used the fence as a sleeping aid.”
The smile dropped off Connie’s face. “Are you okay?”
“Hey, I’m righter’n rain. I’ll be good to enter the finals.” Kade moved his coat, and they sat down together. “Good thing I had such a big lead. I’m still hanging in there in the standings.”
Connie put her hand on his thigh. “To hell with the standings. How bad was the wreck?”
Kade shook his head. This was Connie. They’d had a thing for a few weeks. The fun had morphed into a solid friendship even though they might go months at a time without seeing each other. “The bastard tried to drive me headfirst through a heavy duty metal panel. Came to about fifteen minutes later. Wasn’t sure where or who I was for a couple of days. My head still hurts like a bitch when I over do, but…”
He looked up to see Pansy standing about five feet away, a beer in each hand. Had she heard what he’d told Connie? “I’m feeling great now. All healed up. Doc says I’m ready to go.”
Connie drew her brows together, obviously confused by the quick change of direction.
Kade jumped to his feet, took one of the beers from Pansy and handed it to Connie. Pansy’s fingers were icy cold, and he wrapped his hand around hers. “Pansy, this is my good friend, Connie Martin. Connie, meet my old friend, Pansy Lark.”
Pansy took a long pull on her beer, pulled her hand free and held it out to Connie. “Nice to meet you. I’m always glad to meet Kade’s good friends.”
Connie looked at Kade, obviously trying to figure out who the woman was. There wasn’t enough time in the world to explain that. Not knowing what to say, he shrugged.
Connie took Pansy’s hand. “I met Kade back east quite a few years ago.”
It was Pansy’s turn to shrug. “He seems to get around.”
Connie’s smile was puzzled as she handed the beer back to Kade. “Hey, good to meet you, but I’ve got to get Frenchie ready to run. I’m up in the first draw. See you later, Kade.” Before he could answer, she’d disappeared into the crowd.
Pansy took another swallow then studied the beer label like it held the secret to curing cancer. “So she’s a good friend and I’m old?”
Aw, hell! That had been as awkward as a donkey in dance class. “I didn’t handle that very well. Connie is a good friend. That’s all, a friend.”
“You don’t have to explain. In fact, I can find another ride home if I’m in the way.”
Kade pulled her down beside him and wrapped his arm around her. She would have no trouble at all finding a ride or anything else she wanted around this bunch of guys. “No.”
She looked at him, her eyebrows raised at the abrupt tone of his voice.
He should explain, make her feel better, but
the only word he could utter was No.
The National Anthem saved him from having to come up with coherent conversation. By the time they sat down again, the first six bulls were loaded in the chutes, and the cowboys were pulling their ropes.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight is the inaugural performance of the annual Bend, Oregon Bulls and Barrels. We’ve got the rankest bulls, the stickiest cowboys and the fastest, prettiest cowgirls this side of Timbuktu.”
Excitement filled the arena as people shifted in their seats. A murmur traveled through the crowd. The stands were filled with rodeo connoisseurs, ready for the thrills of the bulls.
“I don’t know the first rider, but the bull should put on a great show. I rode him to win Tulsa last year.” These were Kade’s kind of people and as much as he’d liked spending time in East Hope, there was nothing like being entered. Anticipation got his blood pumping.
“First out is Bobby Thompson on Lazy Daze. Folks, this bull was bucking bull of the year in the Top Bulls and Cowboys Association two years ago.” The announcer continued to wade through statistics about the bulls and cowboys, but Kade’s attention was on the chute gate.
As the gate swung open, the big, black baldy bull stood on his hind legs and leaped into the arena. He slung his head to the right then spun to the left. The cowboy made it one full wrap before being tossed to the side like a discarded toy.
Kade heard Pansy’s intake of breath.
“Isn’t that cat cool?” If they’d let him get on right now, he’d be in the arena in two seconds. One of his favorite rides had been aboard Lazy Daze. When Pansy didn’t answer, he looked up to see her watching him. He picked up her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “You used to like bull riding.”
The disillusionment in her slight smile hit him like a slap across the face. “I used to like a lot of things, and then I grew up.”
Sweet Cowboy Kisses (Sugar Coated Cowboys Book 2) Page 9
