Nora joined them at his side, only to find him completely unconscious.
"Ewan!" Lochlan shouted, trying to shake his brother awake.
Ewan didn't respond at all.
Nora pushed Ewan's shirt up to see the wound in his side. It was red and swollen with infection.
"You stubborn man," she snarled at him. "You couldn't stand to let me help you, and now look what you've done. I swear, Ewan MacAllister, if you don't die from your stupidity I shall kill you for it."
"Out of the way, woman," Sin MacAllister said rudely, pushing her aside.
He and Lochlan carried Ewan upstairs.
Without thought, Nora followed after them while her parents stayed below.
Sin and Lochlan took Ewan into a room at the top of the stairs and laid him gently on the bed.
Their mother came forward, her brow worried. "Why wasn't the wound stitched?"
Nora's throat tightened at her innocent question. "I had nothing to stitch it with the first night and after that, he wouldn't allow me to even see it, let alone tend it."
Sin cut Ewan's shirt off while Lochlan turned toward her. "You need to be leaving now, lass. It's not proper for you to be here when we disrobe him."
"But…" Nora caught herself before she told them that she had seen him bare. No doubt Ewan was in enough trouble; she wouldn't make it any worse on him. "I shall wait outside."
She found herself quickly ousted.
Both her parents were waiting in the hallway.
"How does he?" her father asked.
Nora chewed her fingernail in fearful worry. "I know not. He's not spoken of the wound since it happened."
"He didn't act wounded when he arrived," her mother said.
"Aye," Nora agreed. "He handles his pain well."
Her heart heavy, she looked up at her father. "How could you do this to us, Father? How could you have manipulated me into running to him?"
He opened his mouth, snapped it shut, then sighed. "You're a lovely lass, Nora. I wanted a good match for you and thought that if I could get the two of you together, Ewan would see what a fine wife you'd make."
"And Ryan?"
"I thought that once you ran off with another man, Ryan would recant his offer. I had no idea how much he really loved you."
She duplicated Ewan's feral growl at that. If she heard those words one more time she was going to seriously hurt someone.
"Ryan doesn't love me!"
"Not true," her mother said. "While you spoke to your father outside he told me how much he feared for you and that the whole reason he paid the gypsies to abduct Ewan was so that he could return you home before he harmed you. He was worried about you, Nora."
Nora started to tell them what a liar Ryan was, but she bit the words back. At the end of the day, her parents looked on him as a son. She wouldn't destroy that for them or for Ryan.
Yet.
But if she were forced to this, she would decry him from the tallest tree.
"I don't want to marry Ryan."
Her mother glanced to the door. "Would you rather have Ewan?"
Tears gathered in her eyes as she nodded. "More than anything."
Her father smiled. "Then I shall see what needs be done."
"If he'll have me, you mean."
Her father looked offended by that. "And why wouldn't he?"
Nora bit her lip as she thought about Ryan below. Ewan would never agree to marriage with her as long as he believed Ryan loved her.
She knew that.
The question was, could she ever make Ryan tell the truth?
* * *
Chapter 12
« ^ »
Nora spent days sitting by Ewan's bed. He lay in delirium, his body ravaged by fever. They bathed him repeatedly, trying to bring the fever down, but it was of little use.
It seemed he would never come back to them. And every day that passed without his eyes opening, Nora despaired more.
He had to wake up. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him over this.
His brothers took turns helping her and his mother watch over him, but as the days went by she began to fear he would never awaken again.
Her nervousness made her chatter more to him.
Coaxing him to eat and drink. Begging him to wake up and look at her.
Bellow at her even.
She would give anything to hear one of his bearish growls.
Only when they were alone did she dare speak to him of her love. Tell him how much she needed him to come back to her.
"He whispers your name."
She looked up from her sewing to see Lochlan watching her from his seat by the window as she sat by Ewan's side.
Lochlan had relieved Sin barely five minutes ago, and she had been grateful. There was something very sinister and dark about Sin MacAllister. If not for his endearing love of his wife and small baby, she would have been terrified of him. But since her arrival she had seen enough of his tenderness with them to know he wasn't as fierce as he appeared.
Braden she liked a great deal. He was ever charming a smile or laugh from her while they watched over Ewan. And he had told her numerous stories of youthful pranks he had pulled on Ewan.
But when it came to Lochlan…
There was something very stern and sad about this particular MacAllister, and he made her terribly uncomfortable.
The only time she saw a break in his seriousness was when Catarina nettled him. Which was a habit the gypsy had taken to right away.
Lochlan was a young man to wield such power and authority, and she wondered if he ever found the burden oppressive.
"I know," she said in response to his words.
"Can you tell me why?"
"Most likely because he wants to wake up and tell me to spare his ears while he heals."
Lochlan's face softened a degree. "He can be a bit overbearing."
"Not really. He is rather charming, point of fact."
Lochlan arched a brow at her declaration. "You think so?"
"Aye. He's very gentle and sweet."
Lochlan choked. "Ewan? Sweet? The devil you say. The man is surly at best."
"He is not surly… often. He's just sensitive."
His handsome face was aghast at her words. "My lady, I fear you are the one who is delirious if you believe that. There's nothing sensitive about him."
Her anger was fired by his words.
How dare he say such a thing!
"You don't know your brother very well, do you, my lord?" She reached out and touched Ewan's hot hands. Hands that had made her want to weep with pleasure.
Hands she would sell her soul to be able to hold on to for the rest of eternity.
"You love him." Lochlan's deep voice rang out in the stillness of the room.
It was a statement of fact.
Nora didn't bother to lie. "Aye, I do."
"Does he know it?"
"I've never hidden the fact."
She felt the weight of Lochlan's gaze. It was heavy. Frightening.
Discerning. "Does he love you?"
She sighed weakly. "I think so. But with Ewan, one never knows really where one stands."
Lochlan leaned forward in his chair. "Nora, look at me."
She did.
Lochlan's stern gaze didn't falter or waver. It was intense and oppressive.
"Did he… did you…" He looked greatly uncomfortable, and she knew what he was asking.
Her face flamed, and she looked away without answering.
Lochlan cursed. "Your father will have his head for it."
"My father will never know, and if you say a word, Lochlan MacAllister, I will deny it."
Lochlan actually smiled at her. "You would protect my brother?"
"Always."
The smile crept up his face, all the way to his eyes, turning them a gentle, friendly blue instead of their normal iciness. "Ewan is a lucky man to have found you."
She frowned at his unexpected comment.
&
nbsp; Lochlan excused himself and left her alone with Ewan.
Nora stared at his pale features. His sweat-dampened hair was plastered to his skin.
Setting her sewing aside, she moved to fetch a cloth to bathe his brow.
"I wish you would wake up, Ewan," she said as she always did when she tended him alone. "I miss seeing your crystal blue eyes, hearing your fierce growl when you get aggravated at me. Mostly I just miss you."
His eyes fluttered opened, shocking her.
Nora gasped at the sight.
For a second she feared he was still gripped by his fever-induced madness, but his gaze was clear and sensible.
He frowned, then tried to sit up.
"Nay!" she said, forcing him back. "You shouldn't be moving."
His frown grew sterner. He glanced around the room, then looked under the sheet. His face perplexed, he looked at her. "Why are you here in my brother's home while I lay naked in his bed?"
She laughed at him, giddy with relief that he was awake and still his surly self.
Before she could respond, the door opened to admit his mother and brother Sin.
The instant they realized he was awake and alert, the two of them rushed forward.
"So he lives," Sin said, his voice relieved, his dark eyes bright.
Aisleen took Ewan's hand and pressed it to her lips. "Praise be to God. I had feared I would lose another son."
Nora wanted to stay, but as Braden, Maggie and Caledonia burst into the room with their children, she realized she didn't belong there.
Though she might wish it otherwise, she wasn't Ewan's family. They were.
Turning around, she made her way quietly toward the stairs.
Once she was on the ground floor, she saw Lochlan, who was just leaving the great hall, and headed for the stairs behind her.
Worry creased his brow. "Did something happen? You haven't left Ewan's side since he took ill."
"He's awake."
His face delighted, Lochlan bolted for the stairs.
Nora smiled in his wake, then moved to where her mother sat in the great hall by the hearth.
"How does he?" her mother asked.
"I think he shall live after all. He seems quite well. Where is Father?"
"He's outside with Ryan."
Nora felt strange. She wasn't quite sure what to do with herself now that Ewan was awake again. She'd been so focused on his getting better that she hadn't really contemplated what his recovery would herald for her.
Now she did.
Would he keep her or force her to marry Ryan?
Her heart shriveled.
Knowing him as she did, there was very little doubt what he would choose.
And God have mercy on them both when he did.
"Where did Nora go?" Ewan asked, looking around the crowd gathered at his bed.
"She was below a moment ago," Lochlan said.
Ewan started to get up to find her, but Sin stopped him. "You've been ill for almost a fortnight, little brother. The last thing you need is to get up and walk."
"I…" He paused as he remembered everything that had happened.
Ryan—the bastard who would not die.
Ewan sat back as reality came crashing down upon him.
"Nora was a blessing to us these days past," his mother said. "She watched over you like an angel. Ever vigilant and kind."
Ewan turned his head toward her to see her thankful smile. "What do you mean?"
"She hasn't left your side," Maggie said.
Ewan thought back to the way Nora had cared for him after he'd been wounded.
The way she'd run off to Ryan…
"Would you like for me to go fetch her?" Braden asked.
Ewan shook his head. "I would rather you fetch me something to eat and then leave me in peace."
"He must be feeling better," Sin said. "Already he wants his solitude."
His family gave their good wishes and love, then left him alone with Lochlan.
Ewan looked at his brother, then meaningfully at the door. "Why are you still here?"
"I want to make sure you don't do anything foolish."
"Such as?"
"Withdraw back into yourself while there's a beautiful woman downstairs who loves you."
Ewan snorted at that while inside he could actually feel his heart shriveling from the mere thought of losing her. "What do you know of it?"
"Nothing, truly. I've never been blessed with a woman's love. But if I were, I'd make certain that I kept it."
Ewan snorted. It was much easier for a man to give advice than to take it.
The giving of it cost Lochlan nothing, but should Ewan yield to it, the results could be disastrous.
"Aye, but at what cost?"
"What do you mean?"
"She is promised to another, Lochlan. A man who loves her and who has said repeatedly that he will not let her go. His clan will feud with ours if I take her from him. I already caused one feud and killed my brother over such a thing. Think you I want to kill another man?"
"Ewan—"
"Leave me!" he roared.
Lochlan tensed, then turned about and left.
Alone, Ewan let his thoughts drift over the last few days with Nora. Over the happiness that she had brought into his dismal world.
His gaze fell to the embroidery that lay on his bed. Picking it up, he frowned. It was the image of a troubadour playing the lute with a lady.
His fingers shook as he traced the picture.
How could he let her go?
"I beg your pardon, Lochlan MacAllister, you are not my lord and master!"
Nora watched as Catarina started for the door, and Lochlan caught her arm in his hand. "Would you listen to me?"
Catarina childishly covered her ears with her hands and hummed. Loudly.
Lochlan appeared ready to throttle her.
"What are they fighting over now?" she asked her mother.
Her mother shrugged. "They have done nothing but argue since they met. Poor Catarina can't stand him."
As Catarina stormed outside with Lochlan trailing after her, Nora's father and Ryan came in.
Ryan appeared completely recovered from his wound.
"Is Ewan better?" Ryan asked.
Nora nodded. She still didn't want to speak to the ogre.
"Nora," her father said. "Ryan and I have come to an understanding. If Ewan makes an offer for your hand, Ryan will stand aside."
Unexpected joy filled her.
Until she thought better of it.
"And if Ewan doesn't?" she asked.
Ryan wagged his brows at her. "You're mine, Nora. To have and to hold until death we do part."
As Ryan spoke those words, she saw Ewan coming into the hall. He paused and looked at them darkly.
If she lived out eternity, Nora would never forget the look on his face as he heard Ryan's declaration.
She wanted to curse at his timing.
"Ewan?" she asked. "What are you doing up?"
He didn't speak. He just turned about and started back for the stairs.
Nora rushed to his side.
Ewan handed her the embroidery cloth she'd left in his room. "I thought you might have need of it," he said simply, his voice and eyes empty.
"Let me help you back to bed."
He curled his lips at her. "I don't need any help. Go back to your betrothed."
"Ewan," she said insistently, "Ryan has agreed to release me if you want me."
He glanced back at Ryan.
"It's true," Ryan said as he joined them. "I will not stand between the two of you."
Ewan wanted to laugh at those haunting words.
Fate was indeed mocking him.
Instead, he heard the sound of his mother's shocked gasp as she came into the room and heard words that were almost identical to the ones Kieran had once said in this very same hall.
Take her, Ewan, if she'll have the likes of you. I willna stand between the two of you. But know that
if you leave with her, I will never again call you brother.
He wondered if Ryan was as sincere as Kieran had been when Kieran had spoken those words to him.
Or would Ryan ride home, gather his men, and then start the feud he'd promised?
In his mind's eye, Ewan saw the death and destruction that had reigned over the MacAllister lands as they fought with the MacDouglases.
Wincing from the pain of the memory of then and the reality of now, he turned away from the face of the only woman he would ever really love.
"She belongs with you, Ryan. I have no need of a wife."
Nora felt as if Ewan had slapped her. Nothing had ever hurt her more than his cold announcement.
"I was wrong about you, Ewan MacAllister," she said, her voice breaking on his name. "You are heartless and mean."
With a dignity she didn't feel, she lifted her chin and returned to her parents. "I wish to leave."
"Now?" her father asked.
"Aye. I'll go with you or on my own, but I willna stay in this place another instant."
Ewan couldn't breathe as he heard her words.
She was leaving him.
You told her to go.
Aye, he had. It was kinder this way.
Why then did he feel as if his stomach and heart were being shredded?
Fight for her, damn you, fight!
But he didn't have it in him. He couldn't let his clan be torn apart.
Nora's parents said a quick and embarrassed goodbye to his mother while Nora stalked from the hall without even glancing back at him.
So be it.
He was better off without her.
And yet the thought of returning to his home alone made his blood run cold.
Ewan made his way up the stairs and to his bed. He had barely lain down before his brothers stormed into his room and surrounded his bed.
The three of them appeared angry and ready to battle.
"May I be the one who beats him?" Braden asked.
Ewan frowned at them. "Beats me for what?"
"Stupidity," Sin hissed.
Lochlan thumped Ewan on the arm. Hard.
Ewan grimaced and rubbed the sore spot his brother had caused. "Do that again and I shall rip your hand off."
Lochlan glared furiously at him. "Try it and I'll have your worthless hide for a rug before my hearth. Now tell me how you can be so foolish as to let her leave?"
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