I turn my head and get Derek’s attention. “I blame my cousin, Sofia, for giving me a sweet tooth.” I grin. “She’s a baker and I’ve spent years testing her creations.”
He grins, looking into my eyes. “Then choose a few. Who cares if we’re still eating them in a few day’s time.”
Turning back, I smile at the woman who has a sour expression on her face and ask her to box a total of eight cakes. Derek laughs, but insists on paying.
“Thank you, Leah,” Derek says and gets a huff in response.
He carries the box of cakes and comments, “Perhaps we shouldn’t have bought these so early.”
“They would have been all gone otherwise.”
“I have an idea.” He takes my hand to keep me with him and I trail behind as he enters the drug store. We go to the far back.
“Darrin, can you do me a favor,” he asks. “I have something that needs to be in a fridge.”
Darrin grins. “You want me to look after them for you until later?”
“Please.”
“Only if you introduce me to your friend.”
Derek chuckles and does the introductions. Darrin looks to be in his eighties if not older and certainly has a way with the ladies, if the two elderly women watching him are anything to judge by. But then I frown and wonder if it’s Derek and me they’re actually watching. Shaking my head, I come back to the present and realize both Derek and Darrin are waiting for me to reply.
“Um,” I mumble, embarrassed.
Derek takes pity on me. “Darrin was asking how long you are in town for?”
“Ah,” I’m not sure how to answer because I want to say forever, but instead I’m totally honest, “maybe another week.” I feel Derek still beside me as his intense gaze heats my face.
“I see.” Darrin clears his throat. “Well, maybe you will stay longer.” He chuckles and taking the package from Derek, disappears behind a door.
The tension between us is back although I’m not sure it actually went anywhere. “What about preserve,” I blurt out and walk back the way we came. “I saw some on the way in here,” I add over my shoulder.
Scowling, Derek follows but his mind is obviously elsewhere. Probably the same place mine has been. I don’t want to leave the ranch. I love it there and I find a feeling of peace that seems to exist nowhere else. The buzzing in my head stops and I no longer feel as though I’m drifting. But I can’t stay forever. He’ll move on with his life, just like I have to move on with my own. Not that I want to unless it includes Derek, but that isn’t going to happen.
Blinking back tears, I pull myself together and look through the jars of preserve at another stall. It looks really good, but in the end, I only select a blueberry jelly while Derek stays silent beside me.
Moving away I think our fun day has turned sour and all because I was being honest about how much time I needed to be here for work. I could have lied and prolonged my visit, but I don’t think that would do either of us any good. I need to get out from under his feet.
I jump slightly when Derek gently grips my elbow, steering me toward the Ferris wheel. It isn’t busy right now, but as I watch it go up into the sky my stomach rolls.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve ridden one of those.” His smile reaches his eyes when he turns his body towards mine.
“Have I ever mentioned that I don’t like heights?” I watch the wheel turn again as I nervously chew on my lip.
“Madison, look at me.” Derek moves closer and with a gentle touch, lifts my gaze to his. “I promise to protect you, if you come and ride it with me.” His eyes search mine causing my body to tingle and my heart to pound.
I lick my lips as the subtle scent of his cologne teases my senses, and it’s only when his eyes flutter shut that I realize how much of my heart had been displayed on my face for him to see. I deeply inhale, pulling myself together. Slipping my hand into his, I look up to meet his gaze as he lifts his lids slowly.
“Let’s go and ride the Ferris wheel.” I grin. “But we need cotton candy first.”
He laughs, squeezing my hand. “Whatever the lady wants, she shall have.”
“I wish,” I mumble and feel him momentarily pause beside me. “I’m sorry.” My eyes hold his no matter how tempted I am to look away. “This is why I’m going to leave earlier than we had originally planned. If I’m not here, it will be easier.”
“No, it won’t.” Derek shakes his head and leads me toward the cotton candy, and after purchasing one, announces, “We can share.” He tugs me eagerly along and before I know it, we’re being seated in the chair on the Ferris wheel.
“You know, I’m not sure why I agreed to this. I really don’t like heights.” As soon as it moves I grab onto Derek so tight I’m not sure I’m going to be able to let go. “Maybe I should have told you how bad I am.”
Derek wraps his arm around my shoulders, allowing me to bury my face in his chest. “I told you that I’d protect you.” He kisses the top of my head, so I lift my face to his.
“Will you kiss me?” I ask, searching his gaze. “Just once.”
A hand comes up and caresses my face. “I can’t.”
Tears come to my eyes at the rejection, and I hear him curse under his breath, before he says, “Just one kiss with you, would never be enough.” He offers a wry smile. “Look out at the view. I promise you’re safe with me.”
I slowly nod and inhaling, turn my gaze to the view while concentrating on my breathing. I don’t release the hold I have on Derek, and it feels good being like this in his arms. It’s taking my mind off of the distance between the ground and my dangling toes. “The Ferris wheel never used to scare me,” I admit. “As I child I went on the wheel with Paige and Rachel.” I smile at the memory and look at Derek. He returns my smile, brushing a finger down the side of my face. “Paige was terrified, which set Rachel off, which in turn, set me off. I thought we were all going to fall out by the time it had finally stopped. My legs shook, and we were all white as three little ghosts. I’ve never been on one since.”
“I get that, but I’ve promised you’ll be safe.”
Derek tucks my head against his shoulder and I settle in for the ride, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms.
6
Derek
The ride slows with us at the top and the fear I sense in Madison has me pulling her closer than what I should. My heart thumps with longing for the woman in my arms, which makes me feel guilty for using Dee in the way I have. Dee actually annoys me, but I think part of that is because I’d rather be spending my time with Madison. It’s wrong and the moment Madison leaves, so does Dee.
We slowly move lower and my arm tightens around Madison, not wanting to let her go. Even when my heart sinks at the sight of Dee, I can’t let her go. Dee hasn’t seen us yet, but Geary has as he moves closer while Dee yaps on. He really has no time for the woman, and but for Madison, neither would I.
I know the moment Madison spots Dee because her withdrawal is noticeable. I want to tell her not to worry about the other woman, but I don’t. By the time it’s our turn to move from the wheel, I take Madison’s arm to make sure she’s steady, and the pain in her gaze when she turns to thank me, hurts.
It hurts a lot.
My eyes follow her as she moves toward Geary while I catch Dee from the corner of my eye moving toward me.
Well, my day with Madison has soon come to an abrupt halt.
The damn woman must have a sixth sense or something because she’d been asking me to accompany her here. I’d kept telling her I was busy, trying to avoid too much contact with her, and secretly, I’d known I wanted to bring Madison instead. I wanted to watch her smile for me the way she does for others, instead of the smile of sadness I seem to receive.
“I thought you had work to do,” Dee says, her eyes moving toward Madison. She pulls her lips together and when she gets no response from me, smiles and shoves her arm through mine. “Why don’t we go and have coffee?”
Madison glar
es while Geary looks amused at my predicament. The man knows too much for my liking. I turn to Dee. “I promised my son I’d look after Madison, and right now I’m making sure she gets to see the market.” I remove Dee’s hand from my arm. “I’ll see you this evening.”
A sly smile appears on her face. “Yes, you will,” she drawls, looking at Madison.
Geary hides his amusement behind a cough, as I step forward and grab Madison by the elbow.
I mutter, “See you back at the house Geary.” I don’t stop walking until we’re out of sight when I chance a glance over to Madison.
She isn’t as amused as Geary.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt, running my hands through my hair. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” My eyes search Madison’s and the look of longing she’s unable to hide has my heart beating frantically.
I don’t have any trouble in knowing what I want, the only trouble I have is knowing I can’t have her.
Madison swallows hard and turns her face toward the market, but not before I catch the sheen of tears in her eyes. “I should leave now. Let you give the commission to someone else,” she whispers, her voice husky, but there’s a wry smile on her lips when she says, “I’m being stupid, huh? Wanting someone who will never want me in the same way.” She shrugs. “It’s okay. I get it. I wish I didn’t, but I do.”
Madison searches my face, not finding what she was looking for, she makes a move to walk away from me.
“No,” I growl.
Reaching out and catching her around the waist, I pull her against my front. “You’re the only person I know who sees the same as I do when I look out from my home.” I bring my mouth close to her ear. “Feel what you do to me.” I press my groin against her bottom so there is no mistaking my arousal.
“Oh!” she gasps, rubbing against me.
My hands grip her hips to hold her in place while I clamp my teeth together, my body in agony, eager to take what I know we both want. “Now do you know how much I want you?”
She breathes heavily. “Yes.”
“You are a couple of years younger than my son,” I sigh heavily, “which is why we can’t ever do anything about this attraction.” My arms slide around her belly and hold her tightly against me before I kiss the top of her head and release her.
Madison faces me, her eyes caressing over my body, widening when she sees the erection I’m unable to hide. She nervously glances around and then her eyes are back on me. “It hurts living under the same roof.” She licks her lips. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I can’t carry on the way I have been doing.” She takes a step back.
“Madison?”
Shaking her head, she continues, “You have Dee.” She pauses. “Maybe you should be nicer to her.” Her gaze caresses my face and I feel as though it’s for the last time, causing me to panic.
Emotions I’ve long since kept buried rush to the surface as I step into Madison when she turns. Her back to my front. My arms around her waist anchoring her to me, this place and time. “I don’t want you to leave,” I whisper into her ear and feel a shiver working its way through her.
“You know I can’t stay.” She drops her head, so I place a tender kiss to her nape, my arms tightening, refusing to let her go.
“Stay for now,” I beg. “Please, Madison. You’re the only one I trust to bring the paintings to life.” I close my eyes and admit, “I like having you in my home, regardless of how wise it is.”
Her hands cover mine and our fingers intertwine. “I love your home.”
I smile against the top of her head. “I know you do.” I place a kiss there and reluctantly pull away. “So, you’ll stay?”
Turning and holding my gaze, she slowly nods, a sigh leaving her lips. “I’m going to get hurt.” Tears hover on her lashes as she searches my eyes.
“It has never and won’t ever be my intention to hurt you, Madison. You have to know that. That man isn’t me. I just won’t ever be able to give you what you want.” I run my hands through my hair. “What I want with every breath I take.”
“Derek?” Dee comes around the corner behind me, and I silently curse the woman.
“Yes?” The woman doesn’t give me a moment’s peace.
“What’s going on here?” she asks, sidling up to me.
Madison closes her eyes and turns away, moving further and further away from us. From me.
Controlling my temper, I face the woman. “I was having a private conversation with Madison. Why are you following me?”
“It’s a small town. It can’t be helped.” She shrugs it off. “Looks like Madison has other things to do so why don’t you come around the market stalls with me?”
My first thought is to say no and go after Madison, but I agree with Dee. I need to stay away for a while longer before I do something else.
Plastering a fake smile onto my face, I take Dee’s arm and lead her back out to the market. Dee samples the food while my head is stuck analyzing how Madison had felt in my arms. It had been all to brief, but long enough for me to notice that we fit together perfectly.
7
Madison
To my luck, Geary was about to head back to the house when he saw me with a large cake in one hand, stuffing it into my mouth while I juggled a steaming mug of coffee in my other hand. I have a sweet tooth, which very luckily for me, doesn’t add inches to my hips.
Once in Geary’s truck, I have no shame as I finish the cake. He laughs watching me lick my fingers clean of the gooey mess.
“That good, huh?” he comments, eyes back on the road.
“You have no idea.” I sigh and watch the land as we fly past. “I’m leaving soon.”
I feel his eyes on me as I curl into the seat, so I can watch him. “Derek will move on with his life and I will never be part of that,” I admit softly. “It’s for the best.”
“I’m no expert on these things but I am a guy, and I know that if a hot woman who I was falling far came on to me, I wouldn’t refuse. I’d let her capture me.” He shrugs. “I wouldn’t let age stop you from going after what you want Madison. I know all about your cousin and his friend, Garrett. If they can make it work, then there really is no reason why you and Derek can’t. You just have to push and push, until he cracks. And He will. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. The way his eyes follow you around.”
I blink a few times and grin at Geary. “I am so setting you up with my cousin, Olivia.”
He glances over to me a frown on his face. “That’s all you got out of that.” He laughs and shakes his head. “I just talked to you like a girl and now you’re setting me up with your cousin?”
Amused, I roll my eyes. “I heard you perfectly clearly, which is why I’m setting you up with Olivia. You’re a really nice guy, Geary. Olivia needs nice. She needs naughty. She needs tender. She needs love.” I giggle. “I’m sure when you see her that you’ll be up for all of that.”
He stays quiet until he parks his truck. “Visitors,” he grumbles.
I focus on the house and a real smile spreads across my face. “Charlotte.” She steps out from under the porch.
Jumping from Geary’s truck, I rush to my cousin and throw my arms around her. “This is a surprise. Does Derek know?”
She shakes her head. “We thought we’d surprise you both.”
“I really am glad to see you.”
Charlotte only half listens as her eyes focus over my shoulder.
I smirk. “Are you drooling over the cowboy?” I nudge her with my elbow, and whisper as we watch Geary moving toward us, “I’m setting him up with Olivia.”
Grinning at having caught Charlotte by surprise, I introduce, “Geary, I don’t think you’ve met my cousin, Charlotte.”
“No, I haven’t.”
The introductions over with, Charlotte tries to encourage Geary to join us in the kitchen, and I’m wondering if she’s under the impression that something is going on between him and I, even though I’d mentioned Olivia.
Geary and Tanner wander off to the stables while Charlotte and I settle into the kitchen, out of the heat of the day. It’s a dry and humid heat that really gets to me.
“So,” Charlotte gives me ‘the’ look, “have your eyes turned elsewhere?”
Frowning, I admit, knowing exactly what she means, “Geary is a friend and I’m serious about setting him up with Olivia. Unfortunately, my eyes only go in one direction.” I slump forward with my elbows on the table and my chin resting in my hands. “I know he wants me as much as I want him, but he won’t pursue anything because of his age.”
Sighing, Charlotte admits, “I’m not sure how Tanner would take the two of you together, either. I brought it up in conversation a while back and he wasn’t too impressed.” She looks contemplatively into her coffee before continuing, “I think if it happened, then he would get used to it, because in the long run it really bothers him that his father is alone.”
“He isn’t alone anymore,” I mumble softly.
“What?”
“He’s dating a woman from town. Dee. I’m sure she’s only after his money, because apparently her funds are running dry.” I shrug as though it’s no big deal when it is. “She’s going to be here for dinner, so you’ll both get to meet her then.”
“This should be entertaining,” Charlotte mumbles. “Tanner is protective of his father, even though I’m sure Derek is more than capable of looking after himself.” Charlotte won’t meet my gaze when mine focuses on her, which makes me think there is a warning in there somewhere.
I choose to ignore it.
“I need to spend some time in the studio. Derek rearranged one of the bedrooms for me to use.” I smile sadly. “I love it here, Charlotte.”
My cousin pauses and reaching across the table, takes my hand. “I wish I knew what to say.”
I shake my head. “It’s okay. I’ve already decided to get the job done and then I’ll be heading home.” My heart pounds at the thought of leaving.
There’s no reason to stay.
If Only: McKenzie Cousins Book 5 Page 3
