by Calinda B
“I’m a Stealth Numen.”
My face creases in confusion. “What’s a Stealth Numen?”
“I’m like a high-octane spy. I can come and go pretty freely. It’s hard to do in here because they keep me heavily medicated. So…I have to…” He stops speaking and looks away again.
“You have to…” I prompt.
“I have to garner opportunities.”
“What kind of opportunities?”
“Oh, you know.”
“No, I don’t.” I give him a pointed stare. “You know my secrets. Spill some of your own.”
“I already told you I’m a Stealth Numen. I thrive in shadows and mystery. That’s a pretty big secret, don’t you think?”
I say nothing.
“How many people outside of the Numina do you think I’ve told this to?”
“Not many, I’d guess.”
“There are two. Matthew and you.”
My eyes flick up and lock onto his. He’s not kidding. “I’m honored.”
It’s Rafe’s turn to respond with silence.
He gazes into my eyes with a penetrating, serious expression until I’m forced to turn away. It was either that or I was going to fall deeper into the blue abyss of him. I wrap my arms around my mid-section. “Do you know Daniel?”
“Everyone knows of him. Have I ever met him? No. Does he know me? Doubt it.” He squints one eye and looks at me. “I heard you two hooked up recently.”
“How did you hear that? You’ve been in here longer than I’ve been with Daniel.”
He shrugs. “I manage to hear things. Ether meetings and all that…”
“You seem to know a lot about me. Why did you pretend that you didn’t at first?”
“I only suspected. I didn’t truly know if you were the Light Rebel they’ve all been squawking about.” He lowers his head and looks up at me through his honey-colored lashes long and hard. “I wish I’d gotten to you first.”
A hot and spicy shiver rolls through me as if he’s touched my core. “Yeah, well, you didn’t. And if Daniel ever hears you say that, well, he…”
“He’s bound his soul to yours, I’m aware. I know to keep my distance. I just wanted you to know. And he’s not here to castrate me at this moment in time.”
I grimace. “That’s a strong statement.”
“And you don’t think it’s true, do you? Don’t be naïve.”
I rub both arms as if a sudden chill has come over me.
“Trust me. That’s what he’d do for starters.”
I take a stab at a topic change. “So tell me about these opportunities.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Well, I’d rather not be in here. I’d rather that people weren’t scared of me. There’s a whole bunch of things I’d rather and rather not be right now. You and All Smiles are the only two people I feel I can trust in here.”
“I’d watch that trust muscle if I were you.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
He shrugs. “Only that I trust no one. I like you, but that doesn’t mean I trust you.”
I wave a hand in his direction, batting away his protest. “Those are just walls you put up.”
“Since when did you become a psychotherapist?”
“I’m not. I just recognize a wall when I see one.”
He places both hands palm down on the table. “Okay,” he says, as if he’s made up his mind to share. A smile splits his face. “You’re going to have to trust me.”
“Oh, now I have to trust you, huh?”
“Just for a minute. I promise this won’t hurt you and the minute you say enough’s enough, I’ll stop. Deal?”
“I don’t know what I’m agreeing to.”
“You wondered about how I come upon my opportunities. I’m going to show you.”
“I don’t know.”
He shrugs. “Suit yourself. Just don’t keep asking me how I get what I get.” He contemplates his blisters.
It looks like they’re beginning to heal. The black and blue eye is a little less bruised. The gash in his lip is starting to scar over. I hope those are the dissolving kind of stitches. “Is one of your powers the ability to heal?”
“Not really. It’s sort of a side effect of the favors.” He makes air quotes around the word “favors.” “The drugs dull it, though, so it doesn’t really work in here. Otherwise, I wouldn’t look like a train wreck.”
“Okay, okay, enough with the mysteries.” I blow out my breath impatiently. “What do you want me to do?”
“Place your hands on the table like so, palms flat.”
I comply.
“Feet flat on the floor, legs apart.” He glances around. “We’re in a public place. You’ll have to work hard to keep your cool once this starts.”
“What does that mean?”
He smiles. “Trust me. You’ll find out.”
“You’re suddenly big on trust.”
He shifts his body.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking off one of my shoes.” He reaches under the table.
“Now what are you doing?”
“Taking off my sock.”
“Why?”
“You’ll see.” He looks right and left. When he seems satisfied that no one’s paying attention to us, he looks back at me and shakes his head. “I shouldn’t worry about people noticing what we’re up to. It’s like this place presses control-alt-delete on our psyches and awareness when giving us these drugs.” He gives me a pointed stare. “Ready?”
“Should we do this somewhere else?” I ask.
“No,” he says a little too fast. “We definitely should not be doing this somewhere else. We’d both be in over our head. You’re safer in public.”
“Well, okay, then. Just do it.”
“Are you sure you’re ready?”
“I’m sure.”
“You’re going to have to trust me.”
“We’ve already covered that ground.”
“Okay, I’m just making sure.”
“Just do it already.”
He studies me. Takes a deep breath. His foot lands on my ankle, just above the slender strap of my sandal. He strokes it up my bare leg, along the outside, then down, slowly, along the inside. He works it back up the tender skin of my calf and lets it rest, heat pulsing against my knee.
I’m struck with another wave of arousal, much like this morning when I contacted Daniel. His energy is different than Daniel’s. Whereas Daniel’s is darkly intense, a bit overwhelming and possessive, Rafe’s feels like a summer day, full of innocence. I’m like a lamb frolicking in the field, sweet, succulent, and young. I’m an untouched virgin. I feel like I want to experience what sex is for the very first time ever. I want Rafe to climb over the table, rip off my clothes and do whatever he wants to do with me. I want to give myself to him, to yield to him in sweet surrender. I blink. Blink some more. Lick my lips. Blink again. Clench and unclench my hands. Erotic sensation is surging up my leg, rolling up me like a wave of hot, sweet cream, lapping at my core. I want that foot to work its way up between my legs. I want his mouth on mine. I want to see what Rafe looks like naked. I want to feel what he can do to me. I want to just lay back and yield to orgasm, in the dining room, with all onlookers doing what they need to do…look, don’t look, I don’t care. I whisper, “Okay, stop. Stop now.” But, in truth, I don’t want him to stop. The only thing that’s forcing my hand is the thought of Daniel castrating my new pal.
He slowly withdraws his foot, sweeping it down my calf, letting it linger on my leg for one long, long second. His face is contorted in pleasured pain.
I shudder as his touch leaves my skin. Already I want it back. I want to beg him to touch me again and again and again. I want to get down on my knees and cling to him, imploring him for more. I squeeze my eyes closed and ball my arousal into my fisted hands, crushing the surging sensations. My core tightens and releases.
“Are you okay?” Rafe asks.
My eyelids open slowly, as if weighted. “Define okay.”
“Intense, huh?”
“Yeah.” Even still the feeling of Rafe lingers inside of me. If a single touch can affect me so greatly, I wonder what it would feel like to… I decide to not pursue that line of thinking. “Wow. So that’s part of your repertoire of super abilities?”
“Yes. Some of a Stealth Numen’s skills are to deceive and distract. I command innocence as well as deception. It’s a strange combo. Tell me what you felt.”
“I felt like I had never had sex, ever. That if I had sex with you, it would be the first time and it would be magnificent. I felt young and hopeful and full of promise.”
“Yeah, that’s how it feels to my, oh-so-willing recipients. Each and every time.” He drags a hand wearily through his ginger mop.
“You mean each time you engage, they feel like it’s the first time?”
He nods.
“That’s incredible.”
He shrugs again.
That shrug is becoming familiar to me, eliciting a touch of affection for the guy. “So, these favors,” I begin. “You share with them, and they give you things? That’s what you mean by opportunities?”
“Yep. Bellows is the worst. He likes to be fucked in the ass. After I suck him off.”
My face pulls back in distaste. “So you’re gay? Not that I mind,” I add hurriedly. “The image was just a bit graphic, especially the thought of you doing Dr. Bellows. Ew.”
“Yeah, ew. But hey - I’ll do anybody, any time, any place. I’m kind of a slut.” He scoffs. “If that’s what it takes, that’s what it takes. Only this time I kind of messed up.”
“What do you mean?”
“Marissa, I’ve been in here a long time. A really, really long time. Dr. Bellows refuses to release me. The rest of the staff - the ones that I won’t fuck, at least - hate me. But I’ve become Bellows’ narcotic. I’ve tried to not give him what he wants, but then he goes ballistic. That’s what I meant when I said it goes with the territory. People do what they do to get their needs met.” He gestures to his swollen face. “I’m hoping I can get out before the prick heals. I’m glad you messed him up. It was worth it to be thrown into isolation. I thought I’d be in there for a while. But then…” One of his shoulders rises and falls.
“Opportunity knocked?”
He snorts. “Something like that.”
“So what’s it like for you? If it’s like a first for everyone else…what do you experience?”
“Same old, same old. Don’t get me wrong. Some are better than others. But I imagine that I could have a totally different experience if I were ever to fall in love.”
His blue eyes catch me off-guard. I think he means me - if he ever fell in love with me it would be different. “I’ll be taken for eons. This soul bound business…” I smirk and turn my head away from him.
“A guy can be hopeful. He can long for things.”
“Like what?” I scoff. “Like Daniel dying? Don’t count on that one.” I think of what Daniel just revealed to me. I think of him telling me how he’s got all that super badass power that El Demonio held, all at his command. And that’s in addition to his already super badass power. “No,” I continue, shaking my head. “That won’t happen. Besides, I love the guy.”
“Who says you can’t love more than one guy? There are no rules about numbers of loves.” Rafe sniffs and turns his head. “How’s my gash doing?” He taps his wound with his fingertip. “Feels better. Anytime I run energy like that, it provides a healing boost. If I weren’t heavily medicated, these would be gone in a snap.” He snaps his fingers. “Well,” he says, standing. “Opportunity awaits me.”
“So soon? Who this time?”
“The guy who got me out of isolation, that’s who. I have to be extra nice to him.” He looks at me, no doubt noticing my look of disgust and displeasure. “It’s a job, Marissa, it’s a means to an end.”
“It cheapens you, Rafe. I’m growing fond of you already. I don’t like to see you use your skills in this manner. They’re using you.”
“Don’t judge, Marissa. You don’t understand what it’s like. For one, the Haloperidol gives some of us lucky individuals an increased sex drive. I get so fucking stiff sometimes, no pun intended, it’s painful. I have no doubt that’s why Dr. B keeps me on it. The guy’s a horny bastard. In spite of that, I have to engage with others. Have to. It’s a mutual using. If I don’t use these abilities in some way, they back up inside of me. That’s when I become aggressive. It’s kind of a double-edged sword. All these willing escorts are doing me a favor. Still…” He fingers my cheek, pushing his fingertip softly up and down with delicacy. “Someday, I’d love to be in love.”
He wanders off, leaving me twitching with longing. The place where he touched my face still burns with the heat of his innocent touch. I swallow hard and close my eyes again. I want to experience this man and his forever fountain of youthful folly. What I don’t want is for him to end up a eunuch, de-balled by my dark and dangerous soul bound lover. Nor do I want Daniel to ever, ever, ever hear of what Rafe has revealed to me as his willing and wanting more participant. Daniel keeps a lot of secrets. It seems I shall have a few of my own to keep.
Chapter 10
“So, if I can get out of here, will you come with me?”
Rafe looks at me, a curious expression on his face. “What kind of escape do you have in mind?”
“I don’t have any ideas yet, but my mental clarity is coming back - I haven’t taken any drugs today.”
“How’d you manage that?”
I lean over and whisper into his ear. “All Smiles.”
“I wouldn’t get so close to me if I were you.” Rafe gives me a seductive smile, laced with promise. “These would be at stake.” He grabs his crotch. “But it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have a go.”
I shake my head at him. There’s something about sharing secrets and knowing that we’re kind of cut from similar cloth that has forged a bond between us. We’re sitting in the patient lounge area, waiting to be summoned to our chambers for lights out. There are a few other patients milling around. Some pretend to play checkers. One is sitting in the corner with a rope, a literal rope, of drool spilling from his mouth. It stretches all the way to his chest. It makes me gag to look at him, but my eyes invariably find their way over to him.
Rafe notices my wandering gaze and turns to see what I’m looking at. “Oh, him. He’s their latest experiment.”
“In what?”
“Modern medicine.” Rafe stands, grabs the arms of my chair and spins it in a 180 so I have to turn my head to look at the drooling guy. “There. Stop looking.”
“Thanks. You didn’t answer my question. Would you leave with me?”
“Do you know what it’s like to go cold turkey on the drug cocktail they give me?”
“Haven’t a clue.”
Rafe shudders. “It’s not pretty. But yes, I’d go.” He cocks his head to look at me. “We’d be fugitives, you know.”
“Would we?”
“Absolutely. They don’t take break outs lightly.”
“Have you ever tried?”
“How do you think I know what will happen, both in the form of my withdrawal and the psych ward’s punishment?”
“Pretty bad, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
We both fall silent.
Rafe taps the arms of his chair. “Still…as soon as these drugs wear off - it takes a while - but as soon as they wear off, my abilities will be restored, and I can just disappear at will. Poof! I’ll be back to being a shadow.” He flicks his fingers in the air.
“Seriously?”
He nods. “There’s only one teeny tiny little thing.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s that thing that I mentioned. If I don’t take care of my needs, I can go berserk. It will just come on without warning.”
“Does it help to…you know…take care of it yo
urself?’
“Nope. It has to be contact with another. Strange ability, huh?” He cocks his head and winks at me.
“Yeah.”
“The stealth part is cool, though.”
A nurse pops in and calls a patient’s name. “Janet? Your husband is here to see you.”
A gray-haired woman stands up and shuffles toward the door. She looks mean as hell. Her face is puckered up in an angry sneer. She shouts an angry tyrant at the nurse.
“Now, now, I can send him away if it’s going to upset you.”
“No,” the gray haired woman cackles. “I’d like him to see for himself what he’s done to me.”
“How long do visiting hours go on here?”
Rafe glances at the huge clock above the door. “Another half hour or so.”
“Do you get many visitors?”
He shakes his head. “My brother showing up the other day was the first. My family doesn’t really know what to do with me. They know I’m different.” Again with the air quotes. “But they don’t know exactly what I do or what I’m capable of. They just know me as somewhat promiscuous.” A mirthless laugh escapes. “And that really doesn’t fit with their socialite lifestyle. They’d really like me to figure out what team I swing for and settle down.” He scoffs. “Little do they know who I become if I don’t keep swinging.”
“Yeah, I can relate. I was put here by my aunt. I guess my sister - who swore she’d keep my secret - got concerned and got together with Aunt Topaz for a little intervention.”
The nurse peeks back through the doorway. “Marissa Engles?” she calls.
“Yeah,” I say suspiciously. “Over here.”
“Someone is here to see you.”
“If it’s my sister or my aunt, tell them to go to hell.”
“It’s a man,” she says patiently as if she hears retorts like that all the time.
Daniel? Is it Daniel? I hasten to my feet and head for the door.
“Want me to wait for you?” Rafe calls to me.
“Sure,” I answer back. “This could be it, Rafe! It could be it!” Daniel’s here. He’s come to get me out of here. I knew he could do it. I knew it. Excitement percolates inside of me like bubbling coffee. I follow the nurse down the hall only to see my ex-boyfriend, Jason Harmonia Brown, sitting in the waiting area. My excitement whizzes around the room like a rapidly deflating balloon. It lands in the corner and dissolves.
