She realized then she’d signed it, “love” for the first time. She did care about him. Her feelings for Max, sight unseen, were already stronger than the love she’d thought she felt for Arthur. Would marrying him really be such a bad idea? She knew he was a good man from their letters, didn’t she?
*****
She could see the face of the man above her staring down at her in anger. Slowly he removed his belt and doubled it over. “Harriett, you must learn how to be an obedient wife. I’ve told you time and again how you must behave, and you never do the right thing. Why do you make me punish you?” His blue eyes were fierce as he held the belt aloft, ready to hurt her...again.
She heard her own voice begging as if from a far-away place. “Please no! I’m sorry. I won’t do it again!” What she wouldn’t do, she wasn’t sure of, but she’d agree to anything to avoid the beating he was ready to give her. She was already in her nightgown and the belt hurt so much more across her back without the extra layers of fabric afforded by her petticoats and the thick dresses she wore during the day.
After the first of the blows, she curled up on the bed, sobbing while the belt continued to fall.
Harriett sat up straight in bed, stifling the scream that wanted to come out. No, she couldn’t marry. Not yet. She knew Maxwell wasn’t Arthur, but she needed more time. If Max couldn’t see that, then he would have to just move on. She couldn’t risk it again, but for the first time in years, she wished she could.
*****
Ellen came in from the post office and handed the daily mail to Harriett. Ellen and her sister Malinda were living with Harriett and working for her while they waited for their letters to come back from Colorado, which should happen any day. Harriett flipped through the letters, noting there were no letters from Colorado for her employees, but there was another from Max. He’d patiently written to her for another year without saying a word about marriage again.
She waited until she was alone that evening before opening the letter and reading the words Max had written. “My dearest Harriett, I hope this letter finds you well. Do you realize we’ve now been corresponding for two full years? I know you are busy with your business as I am busy with mine, but I must say, I feel like I’ve known you forever. The last time I asked you to marry me, you made it clear that you weren’t yet ready for a commitment. I’m sorry if it seemed I was rushing things, but I do feel like it’s been an appropriate length of time to ask you again. Harriett, I love you with all my heart, and want nothing more than to marry you and live out our lives together. Will you be my wife? Love, Max.”
Harriett stared down at the letter in front of her and waited for the fear to overwhelm her as it had done in the past when she’d considered marrying again. When the fear didn’t come she picked up a pen and wrote a quick reply.
*****
Malinda picked up the letter from the top of her pile. “This is strange.” Malinda had been catching up on Harriett’s filing while she and Ellen stayed with Harriett.
“What’s strange?” Harriett glanced up from the ledger she was going over as she carefully tallied her household expenses.
“You’ve gotten only one letter from this man and no more. I can’t see where you wrote him back or anything. Was this letter maybe misplaced or forgotten?” Malinda held up a letter and handed it to Harriett to read.
Harriett blushed a deep red, not yet willing to admit she’d been writing to the man for two years. “This one wasn’t meant to be filed.” She slipped it into the top drawer of her desk and went back to her ledger, not meeting Malinda’s eyes.
Malinda didn’t ask anything, but looked at Harriett suspiciously for a moment before going back to her filing. She was smart enough not to ask questions.
*****
Harriett sipped her tea, watching her friend over the top of it. In the two weeks since Esther had sent off her letter in response to a farmer from Kansas, Esther had become one of Harriett’s closest friends. She felt almost like a young girl who could giggle with a friend again. “We’re going to start preparing for my move to Seattle tomorrow,” Harriett told her.
A slow grin spread across Esther’s face, one of the few true smiles Harriett had ever seen from the young widow. “You’re really going to do it?” Esther seemed genuinely excited for her.
Harriett nodded. “I’m nervous, but I know he’s a good man. It’s time for me to face my fears and board that train.” Esther didn’t know her full background, but from the bits she’d been told, Harriett knew she probably had a good idea of what had happened during her first marriage.
“When will you leave?” Esther took another tiny sip of the tea, obviously working hard to keep the liquid down.
“I’m planning to leave in August. Higgins will go out two weeks before me and make sure that Max is everything he claims to be, but I’ll go out there for the answer.” She paused for a moment. “I just need to make sure everything is okay before I put myself in a bad situation.”
“What will you do with your house here?”
Harriett shrugged. “For now, I’m going to keep it just in case.”
Esther shook her head. “Just in case what? Once you’re married to him you can’t just leave and come back.”
Harriett’s blue eyes flashed with anger at her friend’s statement. “If I have to I will come back and I won’t take any time to sit and think about it either. I’ll come back so fast everyone will think I never left.”
Esther made a face, but didn’t say anything else about it. “So you’ll leave in August?”
Harriett nodded. “That’s the plan, anyway.” She just hoped she didn’t lose her courage at the last minute.
*****
August first, just days before he was supposed to leave, Higgins fell ill. Harriett spent two weeks at his side nursing him back to health before she realized she’d forgotten to let Max know she would be delayed. She wrote a letter explaining briefly and sent it off the following morning.
Finally, by September first, Higgins was healthy again and on his way west. Harriett went with him to the train station and watched as he went, missing her friend already.
*****
September 30, 1885
Seattle, Washington Territory
Max sat in his study drinking a cup of coffee as he did a last bit of paperwork before bed. He’d hoped to be married by now, but Harriett had sent a cryptic message about her butler being ill, and said she couldn’t leave until he was better. What kind of woman put her butler before her future husband? He’d received the letter two weeks before and had heard nothing since.
He pushed the paperwork away, acknowledging that he would get no work done that night. He was too antsy. He was ready for his fiancé to finally come to town so he could marry her. What was the delay now?
He heard a sharp knock on the front door and walked to open it himself. The servants were all in bed already and there was no need for them to get up to go to the door when he was still awake. Opening the door, he saw a man he’d never seen before with dark hair and eyes. He looked to be in his fifties and was dressed immaculately. The man handed him a letter, which he took with surprise.
He opened the letter and read the words on the page. “I’m on my way. Love, Harriett.” He smiled and shut the door, ignoring the man outside. His Harriett was finally coming to marry him. He needed nothing else from life.
Chapter Two
Harriett stopped in Kansas on her way to Seattle. She needed to have a heart to heart talk with someone who would understand her fears, and Esther was the only person she could think of.
She enjoyed meeting Thomas as he was the only of the men she’d sent a bride out to that she’d ever met. It was interesting to see how he matched up to her expectations from the letter he’d sent. She felt like she’d done a good job matching the couple and that pleased her.
After Thomas had retired for the night, she and Esther sat at the kitchen table talking, and Harriett finally brought up her worries. “I
’m so nervous about meeting Max.” She gripped her hands together tightly, her knuckles white.
Esther stared at her friend in shock. “But you two have been writing for over two years! How can you be afraid?”
Harriett shrugged. She’d never discussed her first marriage with Esther, or with anyone else for that matter. It wasn’t something she liked to talk about. “I’m really nervous about marital relations,” she finally blurted out. She knew it wouldn’t make sense to her friend, but how else could she possibly explain herself without the whole back story?
“But you’ve been married. You must know all about relations!” Esther obviously couldn’t imagine what her friend’s problem was.
Harriett sighed. How could she explain herself without telling her friend more than she wanted her to know? “I never really enjoyed relations with my husband.” Of course, it was hard to enjoy something that was always accompanied by a beating, but she didn’t tell her friend that.
Esther shook her head. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you. I enjoyed relations with both of my husbands. I think if you find a good man, it will be fine.” She reached out and squeezed Harriett’s hand. “From what you’ve told me about Max, he sounds like a really good man.”
Harriett nodded. “I think he is. Higgins has been out there for two weeks making sure he’s a good man.”
Esther stared at Harriett, her eyes wide with wonder. “You actually sent Higgins to Washington Territory early so he could investigate Max?” She shook her head in disbelief. “I thought it was strange enough that your butler was going with you when you married, but to send him out early to make sure everything was okay? That’s bold.”
“I had to make sure he wasn’t a bad man. I can’t marry a… bad man.” She barely stopped herself before she said ‘another bad man’. She didn’t want her friend to pity her, though. “You really enjoy relations?” She couldn’t keep the skepticism from her voice as she asked the question.
Esther blushed but nodded emphatically. “I always have.”
Harriett sighed, wishing she could just get rid of her fears. “Maybe I’m just one of those women who will never enjoy a man’s touch.” She hoped not, but it was possible.
“Oh, I hope not.” Esther jumped up and got them each another cup of tea. “How many more days will you be traveling?”
Harriett sighed. “It’s another six days from here.” She made a face letting Esther know she was not looking forward to the trip.
“At least you’re not throwing up the whole way.”
Harriett grinned. “I’m happy to see you’re finally over that phase of your pregnancy.” The entire time they’d been friends in Massachusetts, Esther had been throwing up nonstop.
Esther sighed heavily. “Me too.” She placed Harriett’s tea in front of her. “I’m glad you came to see me.”
“I am too.”
In bed that night, Harriett prayed that Max would be as different from Arthur as a man could be, and then she dreamed about a dark-haired man with a belt.
*****
When her train finally pulled into the station in Seattle, Harriett stood up and walked to the front of the train. She wasn’t sure if it would be Max or Higgins meeting her, but either way, she’d be happy to finally be off the train and on solid ground.
She stepped out onto the platform and looked around, her eyes scanning the crowd. She had no idea what Max looked like, other than what he’d told her in his letters, so she found herself automatically searching for Higgins. She spotted him after a moment and raised her hand in greeting, smiling broadly. She limped heavily as she wove through the people and finally stopped in front of him. “It’s so good to see you!”
Higgins smiled, his eyes lighting up in a way they only did for her. “It’s good to see you as well, Mrs. Long. How was your journey?” His eyes skimmed down her body as if he could see her leg through her travel dress. “How’s your leg?”
She shrugged. “My journey was long and my leg hurts more than it has in a long time. There was really no way to exercise it on the train.” Her eyes met his. “What did you find out about Max?” Higgins had been against her marrying again, but when he realized she was determined to do it, he’d insisted on checking him out. Harriett was relieved, because then she didn’t have to ask him to do it.
“His servants think he is a god sent down from heaven. There are no bad rumors about him personally or as a businessman. I found nothing.” Higgins shook his head to emphasize the lack of negative things about the man.
Harriett nodded, relieved with the news. “What did you think of him?” Higgins’ opinion of the man was almost as important to her as the rumors. She trusted Higgins and everything he had observed would be taken into account.
“I think he’s an arrogant young man who doesn’t think that anyone is as important as he is, but other than that he’s fine.”
“What did you see?” Harriett was stunned to hear those words from Higgins’s mouth. Did Higgins really think he was arrogant, or did he just not want her to marry him? Of course, he could have made up rumors, but she knew Higgins would never do anything like that.
“He seems to be a good man. I’m just worried about you.”
“Thank you for that. I do believe he’s a good man or I wouldn’t have made this journey or planned to marry him.” She lowered her voice. “No stories of violence?” The most important thing to her was that he was a nonviolent man, but given her history, that made sense.
Higgins shook his head. “Not a one. I did my best to find someone who would say something bad about the man, but everyone seems to like him.” Higgins seemed almost disappointed that he could find nothing bad about the man she wanted to marry.
Harriett laughed softly. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”
Over Higgins’s shoulder she could see a man striding toward her. Her eyes met his with a smile. “Max?”
Max nodded, immediately going to her side and slipping an arm around her waist. “I feel like I’ve waited my entire life to meet you.” His smile lit up his entire face, making him a very good looking man.
“It’s good to meet you, too.” She wasn’t sure what to say to him now that they were finally face to face. His touch made her feel safe instead of frightened, though, and that was a good start.
Max looked at Higgins for a moment before saying, “Do you mind?” He obviously didn’t want Higgins hovering over his first meeting with the woman he loved.
Higgins sighed. “I’ll go fetch your luggage, Mrs. Long.” He obviously didn’t want to leave them alone, but turned to go anyway, unwilling to anger Max and Harriett.
Harriett smiled. “Thank you, Higgins.”
Max looked down at her, his finger tracing her cheek. “I’m so happy to finally see you and touch you.” His eyes traveled over her features as if she was trying to memorize her face.
“It does feel like we’ve known one another forever, doesn’t it?” She wished she had the courage to reach up and touch his face, but she didn’t want him to think she was forward.
“I want to kiss you.” Max said the words in a soft whisper so no one else would hear them.
Harriett’s eyes widened with surprise. She’d heard that things were more relaxed out West, but this relaxed? “You know that’s not proper!”
Max sighed. “I know. That’s why I’m going to take you out to dinner at a nice restaurant tonight, and I’m going to kiss you good night when I drop you back at your hotel.” He put her hand through his arm and led her in the direction of his buggy. “Everything is set for the wedding tomorrow.” He watched her as he said the words as if expecting her to protest.
Harriett wasn’t sure if Max was warning her that he planned to kiss her or trying to make her think about the kiss all day. Either way, she wouldn’t be able to stop wondering what his lips would feel like on hers until he actually kissed her. She felt like he had her under his spell.
He helped her into the buggy and he took the reins in his
hands while he waited for Higgins to bring the luggage. When Higgins came back, Harriett looked down at him. “Are you feeling better?” She’d been worried about him leaving before he was completely healed from his sickness.
Higgins nodded briefly. “I’m much better.”
Max drove away before they could exchange anymore words, and Harriett was shocked. “Max! I was speaking to Higgins.” She couldn’t believe he’d be so rude as to drive off when she was in the middle of a conversation with Higgins.
“Don’t you think it’s strange that you felt the need to bring your butler with you when you married me?” Max stared straight ahead as he asked the question.
Harriett sighed. “Higgins is more than a butler to me. He’s one of my closest friends. I’m sorry if you don’t want him here.” She wasn’t about to send him away, though.
Max shook his head. “It’s not that. It’s just strange.”
“Maybe it is.” She looked around the city that would be her home. “Are you taking me to the hotel?” She wasn’t about to explain her relationship with Higgins at this point. Maybe after they’d been married for a while.
He nodded. “I wish I could just take you straight back to my house and we could start our lives together, but I don’t think Higgins would approve.” His hand stroked hers as they drove, and he let her know without words that he was very interested in her sexually.
Harriett smiled. “I do think we should at least marry before I move into your home.” She looked at the building Max had stopped in front of and waited for him to come around and help her down.
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