Opening the front door wide, I watched Bond and Red storm into my apartment. Red showed up dressed as a biker in black leather boots and jacket and Bond wore chinos and a button down short-sleeved plaid shirt.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked as I shut the front door.
“You can no longer call him Red,” Bond shouted. “I take the name back.”
“Whatever you say, Mitchell,” Red responded sarcastically, drawing out his name.
I glanced down at my body, and found I was naked once again. I wrapped my right arm around my breasts and covered my mound with my left hand. Jerking my head toward the door, I said, “I want you both to leave. I told you to work things out between you first.”
“I know how to sort this out, here and now,” Red said, taking a giant step toward me. “We will fuck her together.”
“What? No, definitely not!” I yelled as I ran to my room, trying to shut and lock the door behind me.
Bond shoved his arm in the door, barring me from closing it. “I agree with Aidan. Don’t fight it; it will happen, one way or another.”
“Leave me alone!” I shouted.
“Leave me alone,” Bond and Red mocked me simultaneously. They laughed and slapped each other on the back as Bond pushed open the door.
“Shh, Little One,” Red said as he entered the room and stood like a sentinel at my side. “Don’t fight us,” he whispered softly.
I stood up tall and straightened my back, trying not to be intimidated. “No. I want you both to leave,” I said, pointing to the door.
Red patted me on the head and said, “She has rope here somewhere.”
“I know where to look,” Bond said, and left the room.
“This is a really bad idea, please take Bond and go.”
Red lifted me under my arms and pressed my back against the wall. As soon as his lips lowered to mine, I became supple and willing. “That’s better,” he said.
Wetness gathered in my pussy, my desire and need flaring. I felt suspended in air, light as a feather.
Red pressed his hardness against me and whispered, “Just remember whom you belong to.”
Before I had a chance to respond, Bond returned with the same rope I had used to tie the adjustable bend. “I want to fuck her mouth first. Put her down.” Bond spun me around and started to tie my wrists together behind my back.
“Let me do that, you have no finesse.” Red took over and crisscrossed the rope over my chest and upper back, making double loops around my upper arms to constrain them.
I felt the rope drop down my sides.
Coiling the cordage about my forearms, he constructed a tight knot and finally bound my wrists together with a last tug. He positioned me in front of my full length mirror so I could see the art in his handy work. In front an X crossed my chest and in the back another crossed my upper back followed by a diamond shape down to my wrist.
“On your knees,” Bond ordered. “I’ll be right back.”
Lowering down to my carpeted bedroom floor, I peered up and saw a stern look on Red’s face. “It’s not my fault,” I said, starting to shake.
“Are you calling me a liar?” His green eyes grew dark, and I could feel his love slipping away.
“No, no, of course not. Please. But why like this?”
“It’s the only way—”
Bond came back into the room naked, cock erect and throbbing, holding a flogger.
“Oh, no,” I said in desperation, trying to scoot away in my kneeling position.
Not giving me a chance to escape, he clutched the nape of my neck and hoisted his hard erection into the back of my throat. “Oh, yes, just where I belong.”
I squirmed, trying to catch a breath and a glimpse of Red. He must be steaming mad, I thought.
Bond garnered my full attention by whipping the flogger against my back and ass several times.
“Ahhh,” I groaned, half in pain and half in pleasure.
Red escalated my body’s torment by kneeling behind me and wrapping his arms around my sides so he could yank on my nipples.
“See if you use her just right,” Bond said to Red, “you can have your way with her.”
Red got up, stood in my line of sight and said, “What makes you think I haven’t?”
Bond forced his cock deeper into my throat, stroking hard back and forth, causing my eyes to water. “Like this? I don’t think so.”
“No, but she’s taken my cock in her ass over and over, stretching her deep and filling her full of my come.”
I jerked my head back and lowered down onto my butt. “That’s not true, only once!” I screamed.
“Are you calling me…”
I awoke with tears in my eyes and my heart pounding rapidly. Relief flowed over me and once my equilibrium returned, I realized the dream had aroused my body. That’s what I get for researching bondage online and listening to Florence and the Machine while I’m falling asleep. I shut off the music feeling disgusted with myself.
Stress caused me to remember my twisted dreams. My mind worried me sometimes. Red in Bond’s clothes looked ridiculous, and I couldn’t fathom what it might mean. The whole scene seemed out of some horrible spoof movie. I had to accept that sharing me would never be an option. Even in my dream life it didn’t turn out well.
Rolling onto my stomach, I tried to get comfortable enough to fall back to sleep. After tossing and turning for about thirty minutes, I still couldn’t get the dream out of my head. I felt exhausted and spent and really wanted all of the drama gone.
Giving into my amped up libido, I spread my thighs wide, shoved a pillow under my right knee and snaked my hand down my stomach to my pussy and thought about the good parts of the dream: Red’s kiss and how wet it made me, my hardened nipples when Red bound my arms behind me, Bond’s cock down my throat, his masculine scent filling my nose, the anticipation of them both taking me at once and filling my pussy and ass.
I smothered my orgasmic cries into my pillow, riding the tidal wave of release. I fell on my arm, rolled to the side and hugged the pillow to me. After a few minutes, I finally drifted back to sleep, still floating in the high of my climax.
I still remembered the crazy dream I had with Red and Bond, but thankfully couldn’t recall any more once my alarm sounded.
Training didn’t start until Monday so I spent my time at the office helping Tom with marketing. Henry left me alone, and when I saw him duck out early, I also left for the day.
On my way to my car I received a call from my doctor’s office. The STD test results came back negative. I stopped by the store on my way home and shopped for dinner. I planned to attempt, once again, the perfect pan-seared scallops.
After re-watching the segment on the Food Network, I tried to replicate what I saw. First I fixed the wilted greens with garlic, shallots, wine, soy sauce and spices. As I spooned the butter repeatedly over the shellfish, I fantasized about having a dinner party at Red’s like he and I discussed. Bond and Red had forgiven each other and all our friends, including Samantha, attended. We extended the tablecloth covered dining room table to accommodate everyone. In my daydream, I observed all the people closest to me enjoying the food and having a good time.
However, I knew it wouldn’t be that simple. Nothing ever was. I tried my best to savor the meal, but I felt lonely, tired, and scared. I should have gone to another hot yoga class on my way home to burn off some of my anxieties.
Cleaning the kitchen distracted me for a bit, but after I put away the last dish, the rest of the night loomed in front of me like an endless trek through the desert. I decided to tackle my ever growing pile of laundry. Right after adding the detergent and setting the load to wash, my phone rang. I ran out into the living room and answered without looking.
“Jacqs,” a voice said.
“Yeah,” I responded, plopping down on the couch.
“It’s Stay.”
“Hey Stay, what’s up?”
“Bond is a wreck and won’t be ab
le to work tonight.”
For a fraction of a second I was relishing Stay’s interruption. That ended quickly. “It’s not like I can fill in for him.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Okay, so what did you mean?” I hunched forward and rested my forehead in my palm.
“Bond showed me your text and he’s falling apart.”
“Fuck, Stay. I don’t know what to tell you.” I popped up and started pacing. “I’m a wreck too.”
“He loves you, Jacqs, he’s just—”
“He’s just what? According to my sister, and she probably knows better than anyone, Bond’s an alcoholic and not a very well-functioning one.”
“So am I.”
“Get the fuck out of town. Is that why you never drink?”
“I don’t broadcast it, but yes. I learned back in college that I couldn’t control myself, so I stopped several years ago. In all honesty, I’m not sure he’s an alcoholic in the traditional sense, but I think getting off alcohol for a while will help him deal with what’s hiding underneath. He’s already promised he would come to a meeting with me tonight.”
“While he was drunk? He probably won’t even remember and doubt that he would ever go.”
“He’s not drunk, Jacqs. At this point, he’s willing to do just about anything and he said he planned to do whatever it took to fix things between you.”
“Great, he just has to make up with Red and all will be well.”
“I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”
“Then clearly he didn’t mean whatever it takes.” I hated being sarcastic and felt my venom surfacing. “Look, I don’t want to take this out on you. I’m just not sure why you called me.”
“If you would talk to him, I think it would help.”
“I didn’t fall in love with Red to spite Bond. I’m not even seeing Red right now and I have no idea why I’m punishing myself this way other than out of respect for Bond and our friends. I’m sorry, I don’t see how talking to him is going to help either of us.”
“I think if he hears your voice, it will calm him down.”
“I don’t know—hey, I have another call. Can you hold for a sec?” I clicked over and said, “Hi, this is Jacqs.”
“Hi Jacqueline, this is Ted. I’m sorry to bother you on a Friday evening, but something has come up with Cynthia and I wanted to catch you before Monday.”
“Oh.” My stomach dropped, and I thought he would tell me he no longer needed me.
“She’s having some complications with her pregnancy and her doctor would like her to stop working as soon as she can. Is it possible for you to come in this week for a few hours each day? We can work around your schedule.”
I paused for a moment and said, “I’ll figure something out. Expect me in the afternoon on Monday. I’ll send an email when I have a better idea of what time I’ll make it.”
“You’re a lifesaver. Thank you so much and see you on Monday.”
I clicked back over to my call with Stay and said, “Give him the phone.”
“You’re the best!” Stay said.
“Jacqs,” Bond said.
“It’s me.”
“Baby, I’m sorry.” He breathed out heavily, and I heard the pain in his voice. “I know I’m not making this easy on you. I just can’t lose you. My life doesn’t make any sense without you in it.”
“I’m not sure what to say to you. I understand you need time to forgive Red but I’m asking you to try. This isn’t easy for any of us.”
“Just hearing your voice has helped. Thank you for taking the call. If you give me a chance, I promise I won’t hurt you again.”
“I think we all need some time.”
“Okay, I’ll give you space. I love you, baby.” I heard him hand the phone back to Stay.
“Listen, I need to go and send some emails,” I said. “I’ll be seeing Red sooner than I thought. That was his office calling, and I need to go in next week.”
“Thank you for talking to him,” Stay said.
“I’m not sure it helped anything. I don’t want to hurt him. It’s the last thing I want. I must say I hope you’re putting as much pressure on Bond to resolve his issues with Red.”
“I’m working on it.”
“Got to go.”
“I’ll be in touch.”
I emailed Cara and Star, the two part-timers in the office, and Steven to try to cover the afternoons of training starting Monday. Anticipating Henry’s wrath from my early departure and abandonment of my duties, I emailed him as well so it wouldn’t come as a surprise.
I broke down and texted Red:
Me: I will be at the office starting Monday afternoon.
Red: I heard from Ted as well. Lunch before or dinner after.
Me: Red!
Red: We can’t avoid each other at the office. Plus, Little One, I need you in my bed. I need you in my life.
Me: I got a call from Stay pleading with me to talk to Bond.
Red: What did you do?
Me: I spoke to him briefly because I hate to know he’s hurting so badly. I don’t think it changed anything.
Red: He needs time.
Me: I need to get out of here. I’m going to text Lainie and see if she’ll meet me for a drink. See you Monday.
I didn’t wait for his response.
Me: Hey girl, are you out tonight? Want to get a drink or catch a movie or something? I need to get the hell out of the house.
I switched the wash into the dryer and waited to hear back from Lainie. Plopping down on the couch, I put a pillow under my head and zoned out to the TV until I dozed off.
Looking back, I saw my younger self watch as my father and Samantha climbed out of the station wagon, freshly caught fish in hand. I forced down my feeling of inadequacy and smiled as they approached.
“Look Jackie, we caught four today! I reeled one in myself,” Samantha said, her chest out in pride.
“I can see that,” I said as I followed them into the house.
“Be nice to your sister,” Dad admonished.
My smile vanished, and I steamed with anger.
“Give these to your mom,” he said, handing the fish over to Samantha and pushing her on her way.
He rested his hands on my shoulders and leered down at me. “She needs more attention than you do, Jacqs. There are just some people you should put ahead of yourself, put ahead of yourself, put ahead of yourself, put ahead of yourself.”
“Stop it, Dad, you’re repeating yourself again.”
“There are just some people who matter more than you, more than you, way more than you, Jacqueline.”
“That’s not true,” my nine-year-old self screamed. I shifted left and right, jostling to get out from under his grip. The struggle caused me to wake up.
My father never said those things to me in real life, but it didn’t stop me from feeling them. I sat up on the couch, dazed. My brain spun frantically until my pulse settled down. I grabbed my phone from the coffee table seeing that it was already 1:45 a.m. I didn’t care. I called Red deciding to put myself first for a change.
“Hello,” a groggy Red answered.
“Is it okay if I come over?”
I could hear him moving around and what sounded like him rubbing his beard. “Of course, Jacqs. Are you okay?”
“Not really. I keep having these bad dreams, and I want to be in your arms. I want to feel safe.”
“When are you leaving?”
“In five minutes?”
“Great. Can’t wait to have you back in my bed. Drive safe.”
I hung up the call, changed into street clothes and brushed my teeth. A spontaneous smile crossed my face when I realized I would soon be with the man I loved ... at least one of them.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Stay
by Rihana (ft. Mikky Ekko)
Not one to overanalyze dreams or my motivations, I couldn’t help but clearly see what my psyche shouted to me. I had been trained t
o put everyone before me, and it was high time for that to stop.
Hopping on the highway to Red’s, my heart jumped in excitement. I could almost feel the warmth of his arms wrapped around me. As I drove down the exit and entered the empty road, I sang along with Rihana.
The light changed, and I pulled into the intersection just before noticing bright lights to my right. Although every single second seemed to be slow and exacting, I had no chance to react. As I crossed the intersection, a vehicle without form, floating through the haze of light, hit the back passenger side of my car. My car spun and I could hear myself scream but I felt far away from the sound. The first car I had ever bought for myself crashed against a light post on the right side of the road. The airbags deployed just as my head smacked against the driver’s side window. I passed out.
A man clad in white spread my eye wide open and waved a flash light in front of me. I blinked my eyes rapidly and tried to sit up.
“Don’t,” he said, pressing my shoulder back down.
“I need to go, someone is waiting for me.” I pushed at his arm.
“Sh. All you need to do is relax. We’re taking you to the hospital, and we’ve already let your family know.”
“But how?”
“You gave us the numbers,” he said and strapped my head down to the board underneath me.
“I did? I don’t remember—” I tried to shift my head but it was locked in place. Lights flashed all around me, and as they lifted me into the ambulance, I saw the wreck that was once my car and started to panic. “Am I okay? Why don’t I feel any pain?”
“It’s self-protection, your body’s chockfull of adrenaline right now. Let’s get you to the hospital and have you checked out.”
“Okay,” I mumbled and drifted away again.
The next time I came to, I lay in a white room with equipment bleeping around me. I noticed Bond crying in a chair to the right of me. In all the years I had known him, I had never seen him shed a tear. My mother, Lainie and Stay were huddled by the door whispering. Red sat hunched over in the chair beside me and held my hand.
Stuck in Between (Bound by Your Love) Page 25
