by Lara Nance
“Of course.”
“How many Dealers have you done it with?”
His jaw worked back and forth in his cheek. “One,” he whispered. “Only one.” His lids lowered, hooding his eyes.
“One?”
He remained silent until she reached out to rest a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. Did I say something to upset you? I didn’t mean to.”
He looked away from her for a moment. When he turned back, his angular features had smoothed and his eyes softened. “No need to apologize. It’s not you.”
Cara crossed her arms, waiting. Finally, he went to his desk and picked up a two-way radio. He called Sean and asked him to bring them breakfast.
“Rolf?” She stood and met him in front of the sofa. “Tell me about it and maybe it won’t hurt so much.” She needed his head clear and him focused for the challenge ahead.
His eyes grew shaded. “You may be right. Perhaps I should tell you.”
A knock heralded Sean’s entrance with a tray of food along with two more cups of espresso. He placed the tray on the table in front of the settee then left.
“Come on, we’ll eat and you can tell me the story.” Cara assumed control and placed food on both plates—scrambled eggs with cheese, crusty croissants, and bacon. Her stomach rumbled in hunger at the rich aroma of bacon and eggs. She dug in, but Rolf only moved the food on his plate with a fork.
“The person I formed the link with was my wife,” he said at last.
Cara stopped chewing. Wife?
“It was thousands of years ago, when I lived in Eqypt.” He stole a glance at her then looked back at his plate. “Her name was Sakhet.” His voice caressed the name. “She was beautiful beyond words and a powerful Light-dealer, an ancient like me. We discovered our gift during that lifetime and explored what it meant, what we were capable of. Sakhet, especially, wanted to understand the giving and taking of Light. It led her to an involvement with dangerous people. Takers. They…they eventually killed her.” He put his fork down, giving up any pretense of eating. Hurt radiated in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. Now she understood his mission to destroy the Takers. They had murdered his wife. “I had no idea.”
He shook his head. “You couldn’t know. But you should understand I would never put you in danger by linking to you. Now that you know the person I linked with before was my wife, the dearest person in the world to me, do you trust me?”
His face reflected all the depths of fear, hurt, guilt and power that had left their marks on him. So many complicated layers. Did she really know him at all? But she had to have faith. He was their only hope. “I trust you, Rolf. Let’s do this.”
A wave of relief washed over his features, and he turned in his seat to face her. “First, we need to work on the link. We have to open ourselves to each other’s energy. Parts of this will be…difficult.”
“Why?”
“Because there will be memories. Visions from our pasts will flow with the energy.” He paused. “Does that concern you?”
“Memories,” she repeated. He might see she’d almost killed someone herself. Did it matter? She swallowed and raised a hand. “Okay, look. None of this should make any difference. We’re trying to save our friends and the country. If you see any of my embarrassing memories, just try to forget them, okay?”
His lips curled in a smile.
Seeing him suffer with visions from his past would be disturbing, though. She didn’t like to think of him as vulnerable.
“Put out your arms.” He motioned to her.
She lifted her arms, and he wrapped his fingers around her wrists, firm and sure. She tightened her fingers in return. His strong, muscular arms were an anchor. Their eyes met and Cara wanted to pull him close against her chest.
The intensity in his eyes cooled and his lids dropped, breaking the intimate contact. “Relax, and close your eyes,” he said in a low voice. “Try to clear your mind.”
“That’s hard,” she said. How could she clear her mind when so much was going on to fill it? Especially the feel of his hands on her.
“Think of a blank wall, focus on it.”
She gritted her teeth and pushed away the hot desire crushing her chest.
“Good. Now direct your Light toward your hands, just like you do when you are healing someone.”
She thought of a white wall, like a theater screen. Thoughts intruded, but she fought to keep the wall blank. She searched in her center and focused on her Light. In the past, she’d only experienced it passing out of her fingers into another person, which seemed automatic. In those instances, she controlled the rate of flow so there had to be some conscious effort involved.
Her hands warmed as she focused on concentrating Light and letting it gather. Rolf’s fingers on her wrists likewise radiated warmth.
“Good,” he whispered. “Now release—let the energy flow between us. Allow your Light to join with mine.”
The heat from their hands mingled like they were immersed in a ball of warm dough. She no longer felt his fingers or her own. The white wall in her mind flowed with images, flickering like scenes in a fast-forwarded movie. She caught flashes of Rolf in different clothes, different places, and glimpses of a dark-haired beauty with ruby lips.
The visions abruptly ceased and she drew in a sharp breath…and floated. A void surrounded her, neither dark nor light. Comforting warmth wrapped her round, safe and secure.
Cara? Rolf’s voice echoed in her head. The sound didn’t come from her ears, instead it was just there in her head. Cara, can you hear me?
She thought of the word Yes and it echoed through her head.
You did it, Cara. We’ve linked. You can hear my thoughts and I can hear yours.
It’s strange, she told him. The warmth she’d felt earlier in her hands now suffused her whole body. Power surged into her and she realized it was Rolf. The power of his essence curled around her own. The threads of their Light circled and twisted together, forming a cohesive ball. She sensed surprise from Rolf; he had not imagined they would mesh so easily.
Now, try to find the part of your Light that protects you, Rolf directed. A shiny globe of light.
She swirled in the void, floating to check different areas, searching for the gift—Emmie’s gift. Fog came out of nowhere, a shifting mist of blue and gray. She sharpened her focus, but the fog thickened. Rolf called to her from a distance.
She opened her eyes. She sat in his stateroom. How disappointing. She’d failed. “What happened?”
“Are you okay?” Rolf released her wrists and her hands dropped to her lap.
“I—I don’t know. I searched for the gift and everything became fuzzy. I never saw it. I lost the connection, and here I am. What did I do wrong?”
“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is the first time you tried to make such a link.”
“But I don’t have time to fail. We need to be able to use the shield by tonight.” A sinking feeling hit her stomach. “I can’t let my friends down.”
“We’ll try again, but first I need to see the captain and talk to Amber about the crystals. After lunch, we can give it another try. Get some rest. Each time will make it easier to connect. You’ll see.”
“I hope you’re right.” She stood and he followed. Her knees buckled and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest.
“Whoa.” Her mind spun then settled down. She held onto Rolf’s arms, his firm muscles pressed against her. Heat flamed and spread through her body.
“Cara,” he said gently, gazing down at her.
She looked up, his face only inches from hers. He drew in a ragged breath. His normally icy eyes seemed to glow with a hot blue flame. Warmth flushed her cheeks. The spell of his eyes consumed her, and her arms moved of their own will, along his shoulders to curl around his neck. His hands traveled to the small of her back, nestling her against him.
The urge to touch her lips to his almost overwhelmed her
reason. But she remembered the dark-haired beauty from his mind. He still loved his wife. She’d felt the passion in him, and the intensity of it brought tears to her eyes. She couldn’t compete with such life-long devotion. Especially not when Rolf’s life is so long.
Rolf’s eyes widened slightly and he lowered his head until his forehead rested against hers. She ran her fingers through the short hairs on his neck, pulling his head closer. Passion like a hot wave swept through her. Her lips burned for his.
Their lips a breath apart, his shoulders suddenly stiffened and his hands moved to her shoulders. Her stomach dropped in disappointment.
“Rolf?” She tried to meet his gaze, but he hung his head.
“I—I can’t do this, Cara.”
“But—”
He lifted his head and the ice returned to his eyes. Her heart chilled.
“I still love Sakhet. I can’t betray her. She was my life-mate.” Tears rose in his eyes, but he pressed his lips together and they dissipated. “Please, try to understand. It’s nothing against you.”
She stepped away and forced a smile through trembling lips. “I have to go.” Before he could move, she’d escaped out the door. He called her name, but she pushed into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her. She leaned against the door, her whole body shaking. Damn. Damn. Damn.
This wasn’t what she wanted to happen, but there was no denying it any longer—her attraction to Rolf, like a huge magnet, drew her inexorably to him. After seeing his perfect wife, Cara couldn’t believe he’d be attracted to a regular woman. And, as a Light-dealer, her essence was a wisp of smoke compared to the towering inferno of what Sakhet had been. Cara was inferior to his late wife in every respect.
Yet, here they were in the middle of an enormous crisis, their lives on the line, and she was still thinking about how wonderful it felt to be in Rolf’s arms.
With a heavy sigh, she trudged to the bed and fell across it, burying her face in a pillow. Her mind flashed with visions of Tor with Amber, and Marc with Shana. She wanted what they all had so badly, but there was no way to have a relationship like that with Rolf, the immortal. Who was she kidding?
Chapter Eighteen
Rolf started after Cara, but then stopped and closed his eyes. Emotions he thought long buried forced their way into his heart and mind, leaving him breathless. Facing tenderness after years of focusing on nothing but tracking his foes, killing and destruction, brought an ache to his heart, crushing it in a velvet grip of pain.
He held up his arms to the gods. “I beg you, Atum, father of the gods. Release me. Let me pass and return to my beloved. Please, end my wretched life on this Earth once and for all.” The golden ankh lay cold against his chest, and he dropped his arms, squeezing his eyes shut. The gods gave no answer, no reprieve. He must continue.
Pushing fingers through his short hair, he shouldered his resolve and made his way to the salon to meet Amber. There was no time for such emotions. Their time was running out, and he needed to remain focused.
Amber sat in the salon sorting through her crystals. Tor, Shana and Marc were outside working on fighting techniques. He supposed Alistair had stayed in his berth with his books. Dusty and Rambo, resigned to being the only dogs on the boat, had put their size differences behind them and curled up side by side on the carpet at Amber’s feet. Dusty raised his head when Rolf entered the room, and Rambo gave a short bark.
Amber pointed to the golden globe, which sat on the coffee table in front of her.
“This is fascinating,” she said. “How did you come to make it?”
“The theories come from ancient astronomy and my studies of the power of crystals.” He joined her on the sofa. “Each color of crystal has a different frequency. Gold is the only metal that does not interfere with the transmission. In addition, this golden holder contains runes which make it a magnifier. It mixes the output of the crystal energy in a precise way to cover the signature of anyone’s energy near it.”
She faced to the globe. “Runes.” One finger traced the raised designs on the globe’s surface scattered between the holes for the crystals. Her gaze moved over it, shining in admiration. “I’ve studied crystals, so I understand what you’re saying in a basic way.” She transferred her gaze to him and tilted her head to one side, brows coming together in a frown. “You’re upset. What’s wrong?” She pushed back in her seat, her concerned gaze searching his face.
Her statement took him by surprise. “You’re an empath?”
“I don’t know exactly what I am, but I do detect people’s emotions if that’s what you mean. Where’s Cara?”
He let out a short laugh. “Ah, yes, you do perceive a lot.”
She didn’t answer; instead, she reached out her hand in a hesitant gesture, and laid it on his. The touch warmed and comforted, inviting him to reveal the secrets of his soul.
“It must have been lonely, all those years you spent alone. Thousands of years, you said. Did you never have anyone to share your heart with?” Her low voice probed his psyche.
With effort, he broke the contact of their gaze and looked down, unwilling to allow her to see too deeply into his pain. He patted her hand and slid out from beneath her touch. She drew away and gave him a sympathetic smile. “We find great strength and comfort in each other.” She glanced over her shoulder to where her three friends practiced outside. “It’s okay to allow yourself that pleasure.”
Was it? Could he have some happiness again that would not be ripped away from him, killed and tortured before his very eyes? Such a hope seemed the stuff of dreams, and he shied from exploring such thoughts, fearing the agony of his memories.
“I appreciate your concern,” he said. “It’s good to have you and your friends here. I doubt I’d be able to fight this alone.” He hauled in a deep breath. “But, right now, we need to find a way to fight the Takers, or there will be no opportunity to explore future relationships.”
“But you and Cara—”
“No.” He put up a hand. “I’m sorry, but what you want is not possible for me.”
“Rolf—”
“No, we need to work on the crystals.”
She nodded, but her brow remained furrowed. “Fine. So, you think we can make something smaller than this, which will work on one person?” She gestured to the globe.
“Of course. I’ll explain the principles to you and we can work on a design.”
“I’ve been pondering this all night. If we had a way to determine the opposing energy pattern to each person you wouldn’t need so many different crystals, you might only need one or two. Then we could make them into a necklace.”
“Exactly,” Rolf said. “You’re on the right track. We can test different crystals with each person and see if they mask the person’s Light signature, and incorporate them into pendants.”
Amber smiled. “Perfect.” She snagged a black pouch from beside her on the couch, poured the mass of stones into her lap, and ran her fingers over them. “Let’s get started. Tell me everything you can.”
###
Cara floated in a void again. But this was different from the one where she’d joined with Rolf. This one glowed white and intense, the force of the brightness almost painful, and she struggled to escape it. She felt as if she were under a microscope, someone examining her soul in the dazzling brilliance of light.
In a flash, the brightness faded and her body rested on her bed in the ship’s cabin. She turned her head and drew in a sharp breath. “Emmie,” she whispered. The old woman sat calmly in the chair beside the bed.
“Yes, child. I’m here. You sure are fretting yourself. I felt it all the way on the other side. Now, tell ol’ Emmie what’s eating at your heart.” She leaned closer, eyes kind and inviting.
“Oh, Emmie, I wish you were really here.” Cara sighed and gazed at the ceiling.
“What makes you think I’m not?” She sounded offended.
“You’re dead. How can you be here?” An empty ache clutched Cara’s
heart as she remembered how much she had loved her conversations with Emmie when she came into the clinic. Her wisdom and kindness had often soothed Cara’s frantic, troubled soul as she struggled to help the poor people who visited her.
“You got to have faith, girl,” Emmie said, her gaze intent. “Didn’t I tell you I was going to help you?”
“You gave me your gift. An enormous help.”
“Oh, pshaw, that ain’t all I can do for you!” Emmie waved a hand. “I seen everything about you all those years you took care of me. You got a good soul, ain’t no denyin’ it. Mmm hmm.” She sat back in the chair.
Cara turned on her side, savoring the sight of her old friend’s familiar features. “What am I going to do about the mess I’ve gotten myself into?”
“You don’t listen to ol’ Emmie, that’s your problem.” She lowered one brow and lifted the other. “Didn’t I tell you to follow your heart and everything would work out?”
“You did. And I am. But I can’t let this emotional response I’m feeling get in the way. I know what we’re facing. This is serious.” She flipped onto her back. “I’m so confused.”
“Why you confused? You’re always tryin’ to analyze everything like it’s a science problem. This ain’t no bacteria you can look at under the microscope, and there ain’t no book about this.” Emmie jabbed a finger at her. “This is part of you.”
“What do you mean?”
Emmie pressed her lips together and rocked back in her chair. “I’m talkin’ bout destiny. What is meant to be. It’s a part of all of us. The secret is to let it happen and not fight it. Jus’ let it flow, like that River Jordan. Keep on rolling till you find the end, and when you do, everything makes sense.”
“But Emmie, Rolf’s lived thousands of years. I probably seem insignificant to him a—a child.”
“Humph. You don’t know much about men. They’re like children themselves. It don’t matter how old they are.” Emmie’s voice softened. “Now, you listen to me. Just follow your heart. You help him and let things happen the way they’re supposed to. You don’t have to force it to happen. Stop analyzing everything. It don’t matter how old somebody is or how long they’ve lived. Everyone wants a speck of happiness. Trust me on that.”
