"You have freedom. You can walk away from all this. I've been raised by Allison for most of my life and she's been a noose the entire time. I can't be a kid. I want to go see the world a bit before committing to college, but no, even though we can afford it, I have to go to Oxford. I don't even like England that much."
I had the strangest inclination I was simply a convenient outlet to vent to for her... "You're eighteen, an adult. Can't you tell her to shove it?"
"I wish... money's not actually mine. Gotta do what she says. It's so stupid. I feel like I'm trapped in a gilded cage."
"Has the world started bearing down on your every move yet?"
"I'm sure they're waiting. Cast me right along every other trust find kid out to party until they wind up in a ditch somewhere. Petrified of drinking cause of it."
"You shouldn't be drinking anyway. You're eighteen."
"Hah. They let ten year olds drink in France you know. They're just fine." She pouted. "I wish I had what you had, though. I really do."
"Freedom...?"
"Yeah. If you want to leave Will, they'll forget about you. You'd have anonymity."
No one would judge me anymore...huh. It sounded sweet. Even as attempted to tough through it all, through everything...it all did dig at me. "It'd be nice, wouldn't it..."
"Ally would freak if I tried to like run away or something, and probably drag me back kicking and screaming..."
"What's that about me, Tina?" In the doorway stood Allison, a folder resting in her hand. "You know I want only what's best for you and this family."
"Uh, hi Ally." Tina shuffled her feet and looked down.
"Don't you have school tomorrow or something?" She took a few steps forward, and urged her sister to depart.
"Oh please, like there's anything else left in the senior year that I need to be awake for." Tina accepted defeat, sulking out of the room, leaving me with the weight of her elder sibling's presence bearing down on me.
"So...Suzanne..." She threw the folder at me, it spilling open, with many papers, contracts...and checks falling out. "What do I have to do to get you out of my brother's life?"
"...Excuse me...?" I glanced over everything that was tossed over me. Very legalese.
"My brother doesn't have the best taste in women. I've known this since he was a teenager. I knew he'd bring someone... not to my standards here today. So I was prepared."
"...Plane tickets. Blank checks... You want me to vanish into the night or something?"
"That's the idea. How much does it have to be? I know you're just after the easy street life. This way you can get that, without tainting my brother's reputation."
My mouth dropped at what I was hearing. "...Does love mean anything to you?"
"I love my brother if that's what you're asking. That's why I'm protecting him."
I glared at Allison. "I mean my love for him...his love for me..."
She threw her head back with a laugh. "Oh please. You're nothing more than his toy. You're a fun diversion to keep him excited for this long, but he'll get bored with you soon enough. You? His life partner, soulmate? Quite the sense of humor you got there."
"What are you going to do if I toss this right in your face?" Depression and anger are two emotions that were very weird to have swirled together.
"I'll make your life hell. I'll fight your wedding kicking and screaming. I got money to burn, little girl. I can crush you like a bug...if I have to break my brother's heart while doing it, so be it. It's for the good of the family."
Our romance had faced so much adversity already. She was his sister, yes, and they already had a shaky relationship. I could be the turning point that would ruin that sibling's bond forever.
"You should take that. Vanish. It'll be easier on him, Suzanne. His pet will have run away from him, he'll cry a bit, put your face on a milk carton, but he'll get over it, and find someone new. Think it over nice and hard, but really, the choice is clear. You don't want a powerful woman like me as your enemy."
She began to swagger out of the room, happy with herself, only to have her brother block her exit.
"What in the hell are you doing, Allison?" Will stared her down, but in spite of his height advantage, sister was right there meeting him eye to eye.
"Saving you, my brother."
"Sounds like you're trying to blackmail my fiance."
"Maybe. Maybe not. It's for her to decide, isn't it?" Allison walked past him, unfazed. My decision, huh...?
"I loathe her." Will spat out of his teeth as he moved to take the seat beside me, looking at the documents that had been thrown at me. "...She's mad."
"Is she, Will...?"
"You are mine, curvy diamond. Always."
"Am I worth your family?"
"Pardon me...?" He raised an eyebrow.
"She seems serious. I don't she'd forgive you for marrying someone she hates."
"Allison..." He sighed. "She's a forceful person. Her standards are ones I'll never understand."
"You do love your family though, don't you, Will? You don't want to hurt them...?"
"Of course not. Don't be silly."
"I don't know..." I fiddled with the ring on my finger. "There's a weight to our decision that I never truly considered."
Will remained quiet.
I gazed down at the folder in front of me. "...I'm just not sure what I really want anymore..." I mumbled, as I went over the papers, mostly to keep my mind away from what I was considering.
"I had thought you were certain when you agreed to marriage..." He knelt before me, taking my hand.
"...You had me on the brink of orgasm the entire time, Will... It's not the best state of mind to be in when considering something like marriage." Even though he was still close enough to me to warm me with his body heat, there felt like their was only ice between us. "...Besides... there's more to it than us. There's your family."
"Is this about her? I don't give a damn what Allison thinks of us, Suzanne." He ran his hand through my hair, and brought my eyes to his.
"...I do."
"Why on earth should you?"
"I...I care, Will. About you. And she's your family. In today's world, 'til death do we part seems like a lie. But Allison will always be your sister. I don't want to be the poison that destroys a family." I stared down at the ring. It still glistened, the newness shining through. "...There's no doubt in my mind that you love me, Will. Be it as a lover, a soulmate...I don't know. It's never been a question of your love..."
"I want you to be at my side for the rest of my life. Is that not enough for you...?"
"...Please. No one thinks I deserve you. I don't think I deserve you. To take your hand knowing what the consequences to others would be... it seems greedy to me."
His eyes stared deep into mine. I closed my own as I reached for that ring, and slid it slowly off of my finger. It weighed a million pounds as I picked it up and lifted it towards Will. He blurted out. "Suzanne, what...what are you doing...?"
"...I can't accept this, Will. Not for what it entails." I took his hands, and pressed them around it. "...I want to, but I can't..."
"Then why don't you...All that matters is us, Suzanne...why can't you hear me out...?"
I turned towards the papers in front of me, so tempted to free him from me again...was I back to saving William West from himself in my own despair...?
"You can't be considering my sister's offer. I'll hunt you down. I'll find you, no matter where you go, because it's you, I want, my curvy diamond, you, and only you."
It wasn't about money. It was about me and Will...and how it was never a relationship that should have been. I tossed the folder to the floor.
"Oh, thank you, you're coming your senses." He leaned over to me to kiss me, but I wasn't receptive, rising to my feet.
"Will...I love you so much. But...but I just can't."
Tears. William West did not cry. But I had reduced him to as such, and it devastated me in return.
***
Darkness, dustyness, the eerie chill of a place furnished but so completely unlived in. My apartment... I turned on the light, tossing off a jacket, and wandered to the freezer, grabbing a thing of ice cream, collapsing onto the couch with it.
I kept it. I never stayed here, always opting to follow Will home to his fabulous mansion. I kept my things there, I got dressed, I showered...I practically lived with him. But I kept paying my rent. With the nice pay increases I had received over our romance, I didn't even dread mailing in that check. But I did so. It wasn't like my lease was so hard to escape either.
I always knew it wasn't to be. That's why I kept it...somewhere to come back to when it did happen. I expected him to get tired of me, toss me away. Not for me to be so completely crushed under my own lack of worth. I didn't deserve someone like him. I was certain that he'd be happier without me, he just needed to figure that out.
I spooned ice cream into my mouth slowly, taking its flavor as the only joys in my life. What was next? Do I just go into the office, do my work, collect my paycheck, try to go on with whatever comes my way? Try to date someone who I felt I deserved? Who did I deserve anyway? Ugh. More ice cream, faster, dear brain freeze please silence my thoughts for however long you can.
No more. My spoon scraped the bottom, and I regretfully sighed as I dropped the carton onto the table. It didn't last long, but what could I expect from month's old ice cream? I picked up my phone. It was filled with messages from Will. All wondering where I was, asking me what I was thinking... I contemplated calling someone. My mother, Kat...even Will, telling him I was sorry for freaking out, take me back, how much I loved him, damn the consequences.
I couldn't though. I leaned back on the couch and waited for sleep, the coolness of moisture rolling down my cheeks.
***
Another week had passed. I was technically on paid vacation, a paycheck appearing in my bank account. Spoiled, being showed all the preference in the world. But after a week moping around the house and the growing abyss of discarded pint cartons, I realized I had to do something with my time.
Even if it meant facing Will.
The elevator dinged up the floors, dread building as the numbers grew. It would soon reach the top, and make me stare at the last thing I wanted to see.
I was mostly right.
"Allison..." I stepped off the elevator, and was greeted by my once-fiance's big sister, arms crossed.
"...What are you doing here?" She sneered my way.
"I'm getting back to work. Earning that paycheck and all..."
"Will doesn't need you up here any more. You'd only distract him."
"I'm his assistant, though."
"Not anymore you're not. I've decided to come and visit my brother for an extended vacation, and give him guidance in getting over his lost dog." Everything about her came off as artificial to me.
I wanted to get angry. Punch her....but she was right. "Fine. Look, you're getting what you want, could you be nicer or something?"
"Will coddles all of you far too much." She shook her head in disappointment. "You'll be happy to know I'm helping him act his class. Setting him up with proper dates and suitors worthy of the West name."
"...Whatever." I replied, half angry, half mournful. I turned back into the elevator, and mashed the close door button, wanting it to hurry up and get her out of my sight.
As soon as they closed, I dropped to the floor, my hands running through my hair trying to cope with the stress of meeting that woman, contemplating fleeing home and picking up more ice cream along the way.
Stop it, Suzanne, you wallowed in self-pity enough for the week. Move on, get over it. You wanted to save his family. Maybe this'll let them mend those fences.
The elevator started dinging again, and the door opened, as I rushed to my feet.
"...Suzie?" A much friendlier face now entered my sight.
"Hi Kat..."
I stepped off it, to letting the elevator continue past us, finding my way to a cubicle wall for emotional and physical support. Kat stayed close to me. "You haven't answered my phone calls all week. What's going on now?"
"...I turned my phone off."
"...Why? I thought you loved our chats. It's so not you to play elusive, Suzie."
"It's... It's Will."
She blew a raspberry with her tongue. "Of course it's him. It's always him with you."
"We're done, Kat. It's over."
Kat hit the wall, lounging on it beside me. "Explains why he's been holed up in his office all week. West is usually more hands on, out and mingling with his employees."
"It was never meant to be..." I sulked down, letting my thoughts spill out of my mind.
My friend rolled her entire head, and then shaking it. "...No, you wait a second. We've been through this before. You think it's all over, and it turns out it's just your self-esteem issues and you haven't even talked to the guy. Have you spoke to West about this, or you just being your usual pouty self?"
"I told him face to face. Returned the ring. He didn't want me to leave..."
One of Kat's eyes squinted at me. "Wait...you just flat out called off your own engagement to the guy your head over heels in love with, still are given your bout to start bawling your eyes out...when he flat out didn't want you to?"
"...It's complicated!"
"What is it? Cheating on you? Drinking problem? ...turns out he's gay and just wanted you to be his beard?"
"The guy barely drinks at all, has only shown me dedication...and if he's gay, he's the finest actor I've ever known."
"I'm running out of possible explanations here. He farts all the time whenever you're alone? He squeals like a pig during sex?"
"It's nothing like that, Kat." I turned away from her gaze. "It's...just not to be. Will is a massively successful businessman with international renown. I'm some nobody girl from the Midwest. That couple goes together like peanut butter and spaghetti."
"I've tried that. It's not too bad actually. I...wasn't in the best mindset at the time."
"...Not the point, Kat. The point is that we don't belong together. The papers say so. Will's sister says so. The world says so."
"Pfft. Who gives a crap what people think...?"
"...It's complicated."
"People only say that when they can't even believe their own excuses. It's complicated might as well be it's bullshit."
I let my head hang. "You're supposed to be going on and on about what an untrustworthy Satan William West is, Kat..."
"Blah. I want you to go and be happy. Seeing you sob, moan, and cry bums me out. Contagious depression or something. If that means you being with the devil himself, so be it."
"It's harder than just wanting something, Kat." I breathed a moment. "His sister would disown him for marrying me. I don't want a broken family on my conscience."
"Oh come on..." She scornfully rolled her eyes. "If a family would be broken by that, it's already busted beyond repair."
Taking Her Curves (BBW Billionaire Erotic Romance) Page 3
