"That's ridiculous," she said with haughty certainty. "You're just bitter because I found someone better than you, and you have no one. It's your penance for being a terrible husband who cheated on his wife for years." She said it loud enough for the entire lobby to hear with a smug victorious smile on her face.
"Well, I'd rather have no one than spend my life with a frigid fucking bitch," I snarled out loudly.
All eyes were on Ryan now as she gasped and clutched at her chest with tears welling up in her eyes that I knew weren't genuine. Travis put an arm around her comfortingly. "You're an asshole, Caxton," he told me with contempt.
"Maybe I am," I growled back at him. "But I'm an asshole who no longer has to deal with that," I pointed at Ryan as I gave him a baleful glare. "Good luck." I turned and stalked away, ignoring the insults her clueless fool of a husband flung at my back and Ryan's fake sobs as I left the hotel.
My driver was waiting just outside, and I hastily climbed into the back seat grateful to escape my ex. Unfortunately, escaping my past and it's horrible memories were another story. Rage and hate seethed inside me. Pain and bitter resentment burned like acid in the pit of my stomach. Shame over what I let her do to me for years ate away at my heart. I ground my teeth together as I tried to hold it all in, but it didn't work. It just grew and grew and grew until it boiled over and exploded.
It surged up out of me in a snarling incoherent shout of rage as I started slamming my fist into the back of the front passenger seat again and again and again. Hating my ex-wife. Hating myself for being a weak pitiful fool for ever loving her in the first place. Hating feeling out of control. I didn't stop until the leather on the back of the seat began to tear, and my fist started to burn. Then I buried my face in my hands as I shook from the effort of holding back the tears I wouldn't allow.
"Mr. Caxton?" I heard the driver ask in a fearful and worried tone. "Are you okay, sir?"
I froze. I'd been so upset that I forgot I wasn't alone. I took in a calming breath and glanced up at Mitchell. "Just drive me to the office," I told him in a hoarse rasping voice.
"Yes, sir." He turned and drove away from the hotel without another word.
I took my phone out and pulled up the last text message from Malory. I stared at the words "I'm fine" for a long poignant moment. My father's advice echoed through my head. Don't waste any time.
I took them a different way now. I wasn't going to waste any time following a path that would just lead me back to where I started. I wasn't going to waste any time letting another woman fuck with my head and destroy me. I wasn't going to waste any time chasing after a woman and falling at her feet like the pathetic man I was with Ryan. I wasn't going to waste one more second, not ever again. I opened up Malory's contact information and deleted it from my phone without a second's hesitation, ignoring the sudden pang of loss that throbbed in my heart after it was done.
**********
The circle drive was already full of cars when Mitchell stopped the town car in front of Caxton Manor on Saturday evening. I loved my childhood home, and it never ceased to amaze me when I lived here and even now when I visited as an adult. The mansion was beautiful, built in the late 1800s in a Tudor Revival style with its steeply pitched roof, and half-timbered and gray stone exterior. It was massive along with the almost three-acre grounds that included formal gardens, sprawling lawns, and an outdoor pool. It was an amazing place to grow up in. I used to pretend I was King Arthur, and this was my castle to protect as I ran around the grounds with a toy sword and shield.
While growing up, my dad made sure I understood that our house had been passed down for generations, and it was a part of our heritage and who we were as a family. Someday it would be mine. I tried not to think about what would happen to this place when I died without an heir to pass it down to.
I got out of the car with a heavy sigh. As much as I loved this place, being here for dinner tonight was a burden. For one, I didn't want to be around a bunch of disgustingly happy couples as the lone single person. For another, I just wanted to be alone with a good bottle of bourbon, and numb the unexpected and ever-present ache in my chest that had been there since I cut off contact with Malory on Thursday. She hadn't texted me again since, and I hated to admit to myself how much that hurt me.
I'd obviously done the right thing for myself, but I missed her. I spent the last two nights in bed sleepless and aching for her, not just for sex, but to hold her. I missed her scent and the feel of her soft ivory skin on mine. It made me feel like a pathetic excuse for a man, pining for a woman who didn't want me. My God, how much deeper would I have gotten if I hadn't stopped it when I did? I just had to suffer through this pain and the bad mood I was in until it faded away.
I watched the car pull away before heading toward the front door. My Range Rover was fixed, but I'd been so distracted and tired from lack of sleep that I'd continued using a driver this week. I also had the option of drinking my way through this evening if wanted to, and it was starting to sound like a really good option.
I rang the doorbell, and it was answered by a short woman wearing an apron over khaki slacks and a pink sweater. Her gray streaked hair was pulled up into a bun, and her face was open and kind. She smiled up at me with warm and welcoming brown eyes.
"Gareth," she said happily. "Come on in."
"It's good to see you again, Audrey," I said sincerely, somehow managing a smile I hoped didn't look forced. Audrey was Victoria's cook and housekeeper before she married my dad. Dad's housekeeper was ready to retire, so Audrey took over when Victoria moved in after the wedding in December. She took care of them both now and did a great job.
"You're just in time for dinner."
"Great." I purposefully timed it that way. The less I was here tonight the better. It's not like I was going to be pleasant company anyway.
She took my coat, and I made my way through the massive house toward the dining room. The familiar rooms and hallways had been redecorated since Dad got married, but Victoria had exceptional taste. She'd taken the mostly stuffy decor that used to be here, and given everything a modern traditional flair with warm earth tones. Everything seemed more inviting and comfortable now. I liked it. It reminded me of my own decorating style.
When I approached the dining room, I could hear them all before I even entered the room, laughing and talking and having a good time. I paused before entering to plaster a smile on my face and tell myself I could do this. Then I took a deep breath and walked in.
I was assaulted by loud enthusiastic greetings as I entered the large elegant room. The long table for twelve was the fullest it had ever been before, thanks to my new extended family. Dad sat at the head of the table with Victoria to his right. The seat to his left was vacant and waiting for me. I sat down after greeting everyone and glanced down the table. Ford was next to me with Jenny on his left. Across from them sat Natalie and David with a high chair parked between Natalie and her mother. Little seven-month-old Daniel sat in it laughing hysterically at the faces his uncle Ford was making at him from across the table. The little guy really was adorable with his fathers curly dark hair and bright blue eyes. It got the first real smile out of me in days.
I felt Dad place a hand on my arm. I turned to see him give me a questioning look. I hadn't talked to him since Thursday, and I knew he wanted to know how things went with Malory. I pursed my lips and gave him a slight shake of my head. The sudden sad disappointment in his eyes really bothered me. I shrugged and gave him a forced smile, since I didn't know what else to do. The situation was what it was. I couldn't do anything about it.
The meal was excellent, but dragged on for far too long with Natalie and David talking about their honeymoon, and Ford and Jenny talking about their plans for their upcoming wedding. I had nothing to add to the conversation, so I sat there in silence, feeling foolish and bitter that I almost thought I could have something like that with Malory. Dad kept looking at me worriedly, but I ignored it. When dinner finally wrapp
ed up, I stole away unnoticed and headed downstairs to Dad's entertainment room. I made a beeline straight across the room, passing his ornate slate pool table, to get to the fully-stocked wet bar.
I stepped behind the bar, pulled out a bottle of bourbon and a glass, then set both in front of me. I poured two fingers of the amber liquid and lifted the glass to my mouth. I took a healthy sip, enjoying the sweet burn that warmed my chest. It felt good and eased some of the tension in my body. I finished the first glass quickly and poured myself another. I lifted it to my lips and noticed Ford walking across the room toward me. I stifled a growl of annoyance. I wanted to be alone, but I didn't want to be an asshole to him. He was a good friend and deserved better than me taking my shitty mood out on him.
Instead, I pulled out a second glass and set it on the bar between us just as Ford reached me. I poured some bourbon into the glass and pushed it toward him. He nodded and watched me closely as he took a small sip, making an appreciative grunt as he set the glass back down.
"You're awfully quiet today," he commented, then smirked. "More than normal anyway."
I shrugged. "I guess I'm just not feeling very social today." I took another big swallow of my bourbon. I wanted a buzz, and I wanted it quickly.
"You know you're supposed to sip bourbon, right?" he asked wryly.
"Not when you're trying to get drunk," I said irritably before draining my second glass. I started pouring a third.
"Hey," Ford said in more serious tone as his smile faded. "What's going on with you?"
"Nothing a whole bottle of bourbon won't fix," I quipped back as I lifted the glass to take another swallow.
Ford's hand shot out and stilled my hand. "That's not going to help. Believe me, I know. Talk to me, Gareth. What's got you trying to drown your problems in a bottle?"
I leveled a hard glare at him for a moment, but he stared unflappably at me until I finally relented and let him take the glass from me.
"A goddamn woman," I grumbled out.
Ford's eyes widened, and his brows shot up in shocked surprise.
"I'm a pathetic fool." I stared down at the bar top. "I let myself get sucked in again after eight years of being smart." I shook my head in disgust. "Never again, the cost is too high."
"What's her name?" Ford asked in an oddly sharp tone.
"It doesn't matter," I added in a quiet dejected voice. "Turns out she didn't want me anyway. Just when things seemed to click between us, she pulled away. I'm not letting another woman play with my head like that again."
"What is her name?" Ford asked more forcefully. I looked up to see him intently staring at me with a deep frown.
"Malory," I whispered, the ache in my chest throbbing as I said her name.
He suddenly covered his face with his hand. "Holy hell," he groaned out.
"What?" I stared at him in confusion.
He looked up at me with a pained expression. "I fucked up."
"Fucked what up?" I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him.
"Andy told me you were dating his sister-in-law, and I thought he was nuts. I told him you were divorced and never dated anybody," he explained.
"Andy's sister-in-law?" I asked irritably. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Malory is his wife Lydia's little sister." He looked at me incredulously. "You didn't know that?"
"Well, obviously fucking not or I wouldn't be asking."
He gave me a pained expression. "I also told him you were into some kinky shit that Malory may not be able to handle."
"You what?" I snarled out through clenched teeth.
"Andy was pretty pissed about it." Ford gave me an apologetic expression. "He's really protective of his family. He must have warned her away from you. I'm sorry."
"Why wouldn't she come and ask me about it?" I asked in confusion. "She knows we were more than just some random fling."
"Does she Gareth?" Ford asked pointedly. "Did you actually tell her that?"
"No," I replied sharply. "But she still should have talked to me about it, instead of listening to you fucking morons." I shook my head as I glared at him. "Thanks a lot," I told him bitterly. I moved out from behind the bar and started walking away.
"Where are you going?" Ford asked.
"I've had enough of this shit, and I'm going home," I growled out. "Tell Dad I'm sorry I had to leave," I called out before I left the room.
I took a route to the front door that bypassed the family room everyone was in, grabbed my coat from the nearby closet, and managed to make it outside unseen. I called Mitchell to pick me up and only waited a few minutes for him. I spent the ride home seething inside. I wasn't sure who I was angry at more, Andy and Ford for fucking things up for me, or Malory for not talking to me about it instead of pulling away.
By the time the town car pulled up in front of my building, I was practically in a full-blown rage. I needed to get up to my apartment and beat it out on my heavy punching bag until my arms couldn't fucking move. I flew out of the car as it stopped and stormed into the lobby, hoping to God no one tried to talk to me right now as I hurried toward my private elevator.
"Mr. Caxton?" a male voice called out.
I stopped and turned to glower at the new security guard named, James, as he stood behind his desk. "What?" I snarled out angrily.
"Um...uh..."
"Spit it out, James," I said sharply. "I can't read your fucking mind."
His eyes widened in shock. I'd never talked to him like that before. Yeah, James, I'm an asshole.
"Sir, I wanted to let you know that Daphne showed up here again Wednesday night, and I sent her away."
"And why am I not hearing about this until now?" I asked.
"I...I forgot," he answered sheepishly.
"Great, I'll make sure to let the building manager know that." I watched his eyes widen in fear before I turned away.
"There...there was another woman here at the same time too, sir. A...a redhead."
I jerked around and stalked over to his desk. "What did you say?" I barked out at him as I leaned toward him across the security desk.
"Um...uh...another woman was here asking to see you."
"What was her name?" I demanded.
"She...she didn't say, but she had long red hair and big eyes, really pretty. Daphne said some nasty things to her, and she ran out of here crying."
"What exactly did Daphne say to her?"
"I...I didn't catch all of it, sir," he said with a pained apologetic expression, "but I did hear her say that you'd toss that redhead aside and come crawling back to her. She was dressed in lingerie under her coat and practically flashed both of us. Then that poor girl ran out in tears."
"That fucking cunt," I growled out fiercely.
Just the thought of that bitch making my Malory cry filled me with rage. She must have thought she couldn't compete with the likes of Daphne, but what Malory didn't understand though, was that Daphne didn't hold a candle to her. Malory was hands down the most beautiful sexy woman I'd ever seen, but I never told her that. I never actually told her she was mine, and I was keeping her. I'd kept her at arm's length to protect myself, and kept my feelings to myself because I was scared. That way when things didn't work out, like I assumed they wouldn't, I could walk away with little risk to myself. And that's exactly what I did after seeing my ex-wife and freaking out. I got caught up in my painful past and ran away the first second things got hard. I was a selfish fucking asshole.
She trusted me. She told me that herself, but I hadn't given her the same trust in return. I was a fool, but no more. That ended right fucking now, because that ache in my chest I had without her was there for a reason. It was my heart telling me I'd made a mistake, telling me I needed to be the man Malory deserved, telling me where I belonged.
I whirled and rushed to the elevator, slamming my hand on the down button in my desperation to get to Malory. When it opened, I lunged in and slapped the button for my garage. It felt like the longest elevator ride on ea
rth. When the doors finally slid open again, I flew across the garage to my Range Rover and climbed in.
Within seconds, I was pulling out onto the street to drive to Malory's apartment, hoping to God that she was home since I'd been stupid enough to delete her number from my phone. If not, then I'd wait as long as it took until she came back, even if I had to camp outside her door all goddamn night. She was worth it, and I wasn't going to waste any more time not telling her exactly that.
18
MALORY
"Come out with us, Mal," Dean insisted. "You can't stay in here all weekend. You need to get out of this apartment."
"And you need to leave me alone," I replied as I crossed my arms and glared up at him from my couch. I didn't want to go anywhere. My heart was broken, and I wanted to stay home wallowing in self-pity. Why couldn't they understand that and leave me be? I just wanted to curl up in a ball all alone and cry again.
Learning that Gareth was frequenting sex clubs and having women who looked like that horrid Daphne showing up at his penthouse dressed like whores, made me wonder who this man I thought I was falling for really was. I wondered why he'd ever been interested in me at all, if he could have women like that. I couldn't possibly compete. I felt hurt and confused, and didn't know what to do about it. So when he texted me several times on Thursday, I sent him only short impersonal replies until I could figure out what to do.
He seemed concerned by it at first, but then he stopped communicating with me completely. I waited for him to call or text me again, refusing to chase after him like some pathetic fool, but I hadn't heard a thing from him since. It proved that he'd already lost interest in me, and it hurt to be let go of so quickly and so easily. He obviously didn't want me anymore, and had moved on. My God, I'd been so wrong about him. Now, I didn't know why I ever thought there was something more going on between us in the first place.
Dark Dominion: Dangerous Desire Book 1 Page 20
