by Amanda Miga
Like an apparition solidifying, two figures kiss and hold hands between the trees. In the shadows of the forest Red watches from above. I think he's perched in a tree which is a strange notion. Observing the coupe makes my chest ache. I can see the reason is clear. Violet is kissing. The simple fact is unsettling. She too young for this, Red's thought commentates. Ryan Grey is very attractive, but much older than I would've thought to be Violet's boyfriend.
She's sixteen. Red's soft voice sends a chill down where my spine should be. There's an overwhelming need to protect her as I watch the two. I realize this emotion is Red's and not my own. The distinction between us takes a bit of analyzing. Moment to moment passes and I can't define what is me and what his him.
We watch together and so we feel together.
Ryan Grey looks sad but his smile is genuine when he looks down at Violet. There's an aura of intensity about him. He has a full history at such a young age. Watching them closely, I receive information that this is their eleventh kiss. It's strange that Red is counting; an immature emotion I remember doing in elementary school. Its surprises me that Red is inexperienced in these sort of things.
A knot in Red's chest tightens, and like the first kiss Red wants to pull them apart. The scene changes again and again, multiple kisses over time. The pain increases.
Grey is with her. I wonder why Red would put himself through such torture, watching another man be with the girl he loves. It hurts like hell. Red's emotion tears through his chest like a knife every time we see Grey touch her. These are Red's burning emotions I feel. It's painful to keep from coming apart. I know what envy feels like. I've felt something mildly like this when Pete and Cher touch. For Red, it's more intense. The feeling is rooted deeper than I could ever feel for Cher.
The season changes and the feelings for Violet are the same. Red can't be without knowing what's she doing every waking moment. How far will Grey go with her? How much did he touch her today? Red is so pre-occupied with them, he neglects his other duties. Seeking out Hybrids comes after Violet. That is not allowed.
The dream environment shifts into a park with massive city fountain. Red's heart has settled a little. He looks away whenever they embrace. He's reevaluating the obsession he has for their love. They're happy and it is all Red ultimately wants for them. It's all he can give. Defeat is familiar to me. I've given up plenty of times just to please others. It's a sacrifice I make to remain the Alex everyone loves. The ache in my chest comes back when I see them kiss again. Watching the water fountain doesn't distract Red enough. He's is trying to endure it, but he can't help but feel with them.
I want out of this dream
I want out now.
The environment goes dark and view through Red's eyes changes to the city.
I'm overwhelmed. My heart is pounding and it's hard to breath. Red is freaking out. He runs through the city streets at night looking for his missing Violet. Grey has taken her without his permission. He's been wandering the city looking for them, but something catches his attention in a dark alley. He senses something is there, what Red calls an entity; a being not categorized as anything human or Hybrid.
Sudden pressure at his temples sends me in a haze. Something is in the dark alley with us. Something brushes by Red's body taking energy from him. It causes everything to turn to black.
I'm in dark for a moment. Red wakes. Something is different; I feel even more emotional than before; hypersensitive and very awake. A dark fog obscures my vision. Nothing looks clear. He continues his frantic search through the city, obsessing over how much he finds Grey disgusting. Red is a negative bomb ready to explode and I can't escape the anger. This is not the feeling he had before. Something else, some other presence is disturbing all his emotions. I realize I may not be alone with Red after all.
He finds them outside of a club. Grey and Violet have become targets as Red's love for them turns sour. Red changes drastically, flipping his mind and emotions every second. Grey and Red argue and Violet is upset. It's confusing for me; a schizophrenic view at best. I'm trapped; consumed with intense emotions I want to get away from.
Everything cuts away into a choppy complexity of passion and rage. Red's last feeling could not be described as an unreadable mess. This insanity is going on longer than I'm comfortable with. I want to get out of the dream. I want to call dash to stop, but I have no voice.
The environment darkens. It's hard to tell it's the Sanctuary, but the summoning of a storm. Red's heart is pounding for different reason. He's fighting to clear the fog. I observe Red reveal his feelings for Violet through a small window through the darkness. Her brown eyes plead him to stop hurting Grey who's on the ground curled up in a ball. It's hard to see her cry, but foreign presence taking up residence with me in Red's head, forces his sympathy to dissolve like it's nothing. Red wants to hurt Violet.
A flash of lightning makes my head hurt.
Red's running. The view of the Sanctuary shifts to a view of the city. The air pumping in and out of his lungs sounds like a machine rather than a human. His muscles burn from moving so fast, it feels like flying. When he lifts off the ground his leg muscles seize and the back and arms take over. He's flying but not as a man; as a cawing bird.
Violet and Grey are spotted on a roof top. The view flashes forward to Red drawing Violet from Grey to him like a magnet. She's hovering between them. The need to have her is great and I can feel the grasp he has on her aura, but energy explodes out of her. She's moving against Red's pull and has created her own. Her love for Grey triggered her power. It's beautiful. Violet fights to be with the one she loves. Red's heart breaks. It hurts so bad I want to cry but this isn't my body. Red doesn't cry but his presence emerges stronger than before. The instinct to protect Violet turns on like a light switch. The dark cloudy vision clears. Something feels like it wants to crawl up Red's throat and out the mouth. Red heaves and something comes out. The substance is black and slimy. The negativity leaves Red's body with the black vomit. The realization that the entity in the alley had entered his body is now being ejected. The dense shadow-like thing slithers after Grey who stands on the ledge. Red is scared that his friend will die. Grey jumps off the roof with the entity following and Red's heart explodes in pain.
The cityscape transforms into the great room at the Sanctuary. The connection to Red is lost and I feel more like myself pulling away from the dream. I'm now in my own dream, in my own body. Violet is smiling up at me as we dance. The song is faint and it's slowing down. The music box Red gave to me sits on the coffee table. The prongs pluck the notes until the last sound hums with Violet's face fading into blue dust.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Gabriel
I rest my head back against the wood porch pillar, savoring the smell of the morning breeze triggers thoughts of walking to school The decision to not go makes me feel a bit guilty. I should go. I'm supposed to. I haven't gone since Violet allowed me to stay in the Sanctuary. For some reason, she hasn't mentioned it.
There's only one reason I'd go back and that's Josh. I don't know what I'd say if I see him. I'm sure the reason he didn't show at school is he resents me. After that night, he must feel ashamed. Maybe it's good I don't go back to school. Josh doesn't need someone like me around.
I shift my outstretch legs and look down at my written work. Last night brings a smile to my face. Violet has an aura like mine and its strong. I'll keep the experience to myself. I'll enjoy the retelling in my journal to rekindle the feeling that gives my body pleasure again and again every time I read it.
If she's like me, than why doesn't she stay away from Alex and Dash? Did they not feel her aura? Maybe because we're alike we're double the trouble. She called me 'overwhelming'. Though last night, she felt strong, but that could be related to her dream. I wish she would tell me about herself. Knowing we're alike makes me feel less lonesome. We can talk about it together. Explore it together. I'd like last night to happen again. I live here now, so what's to stop me from
a small kiss. Can I pull that off?
"What are you smiling about?" Violet sits on a rocking chair on the shaded porch. She makes jeans, a loose t-shirt and bare feet look so sexy. I'd love to see her in something more feminine. "It's beautiful today." She looks out on the Sanctuary. "I guess that's something to smile about."
"Today? It seems every day here is beautiful." I've never spoke openly to anyone other than Josh and his family. She makes me feel normal. I gaze at the sunlit landscape. The warmth here is nothing like the overbearing one in the real world.
"You look nice without your hoodie. I can really see you." She rocks in the chair with on foot on the floor and the other propped up on the arm. I veer away before my eyes stare. "Did you have breakfast?"
I pick up two apple cores beside me. "Sorry, I'm used to just grabbing and going."
"Next time I'll make breakfast."
No one except Josh's mom has made breakfast for me. "That would be great."
"You want to sit by the lake?"
"Sure." I feel awkward when we leave the porch. We have to walk so far apart it's ridiculous, when only last night we shared the same space. The breeze hits my skin and I feel naked without my hoodie.
"Why do you stay farther away from me than everyone else?" I stuff my hands in my pockets.
Violet stares back at me as if I sprouted wings. It’s a simple question, but she is in a tug-of-war in her own head. We're the same. I just want her to say it. I understand she maybe too embarrassed to.
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. I remember her ignoring my question before when I asked what her ability is. Dash and Alex are allowed closer. The more I think about it, the more I want to know if I'm right. "Why?" I repeat.
"I'm sorry, Gabriel. I don't want to talk about it. We can talk about anything else."
I nod. I respect her wish because I wished the same with Josh. I don't want to push her. I understand she doesn't want to share something that personal. I have my own demons I'd never share with her for as long as I live.
"Tell me what you know about Red." I change the subject as we sit beside the lake. Bugs skip on the water and the sound of them buzzing is relaxing. It feels like summer here.
"I've known Red for a long time, but my memory was affected in an accident so some of my memories are lost. I'm still regaining some of them, mostly through dreams. What's your first impression of him?"
My cheeks heat up. "He's interesting to look at. He seems pretty cool. It feels like he could kill me with just his eyes. He has a wicked presence."
"I know what you mean. When he first brought me here I was frightened of him. He's dark and his eyes are incredibly beautiful, there's something behind them; something big. You can feel him when he's in the room. You're body tenses like there's danger, but Red isn't dangerous that way. He's gentle, sweet and kindhearted. When he smiles my heart melts. We..." Violet touches her lips. Her blushing cheeks make me uncomfortable. I wonder if they were ever intimate. "I know he works hard to keep us safe." She continues. "He's the Guardian; the only one watching all of us. It's ridiculous really. I mean just one Guardian to protect all of us. He's overwhelmed, I know it. But now he's out there..." Her eyes settle on the lake.
"What do you think happened to him?"
Her eyes flutter like she's going to cry. It's the wrong question. I don't want to see her look so sad. I scratch my head and change the direction of the conversation. "Um... he has powers. I've felt it in my dream."
"I know. You and Red share the same ability. The energy that surrounds you is your aura. The thing is..." She crosses her legs. "The energy is particularly strong in you, so strong that it has its own gravitational pull. It operates on a nature stronger than human."
I wince. Stronger than human? "Alien."
Violet nods. "Red had told me in my dream that your compelling aura is an alien characteristic. We all have auras that can affect others but because of the alien genes, your aura can be manipulated and manipulate other. You lure, Gabriel, because it's your nature to use it for prey and..." her eyes dart away to her hands picking grass, "and other things."
"Other thing?"
Violet blushes.
Oh! My face is burning up. Is she talking about mating? "That explains a lot."
"I don't know anything about our kind. I'm afraid Red will have to explain things to both of us."
I like the way she smiles. It brightens her face. If only she did it more often. “What about Alex and Dash?”
“It’s the same with them only they inherited different aspects. Dash and Alex are more cerebral ours is more... primal.”
Ours? She just admitted it! But then that means... She's primal too. That's what makes me tick. That's what makes me want to devour everyone. It's sick. What about her? I watch her chin rise to greet the warm sun. My gaze travels to her neck. The urge to sink my teeth in makes my heart race. If she was closer, I think I could lose control easily.
"Is that why you're always farther away? You're afraid of me because I'm dangerous?"
She lowers her head. "I'm not afraid of you." She ties a stray thread around her finger. There’s more she wants to say as she chews her lip.
She's afraid of something. "You said I look like him." I confess.
She smiles slowly in a way that makes me wish she sat closer so I can take in the details better.
"Yeah, you really do. But your eyes are different." The corner of my mouth twitches into a smile, which I hide from her with my hand.
"Why does his eyes look so...," I try to explain but words escape me.
"Beautiful?" She swoons. "The way his eyes change color."
"It's so unreal. I've never seen anything like it."
Violet's face slowly goes from a happy thought to sorrowful pout within seconds. What did I say wrong? Oh, that's right... he's missing. "You must really love him?"
Violet nods. "Yes, I do. Very much." She folds her hands.
I wish she'd talk about me that way; but I'm nobody and Red is... amazing. Even though it was a dream when we met, there was something magnificent about him. A part of me wants to meet Red in real life, but the another part wants to replace him. I look like him. I want to use that.
"We'll find him." I say just to make her smile. Part of me doesn't mean it at all.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Alex
I wake to find Dash next to me with a puddle of drool dampening my clean bed sheets. I shove him off the bed. Dash hits the floor with a loud thud.
"Ow!"
I stare down at him. Dash rubs his side.
"Dude, totally gay! Why are you still here? I thought you'd leave afterwards."
"I was tired." Dash furrows his brows. He combs back the hair that covers his eyes.
"Jesus, your bedhead is horrible. Get a haircut."
"You saw everything right?" Dash grabs his sneakers.
"Yeah, but why did you stop? There had to have been more." I rubs my eyes.
"I got tired and fell asleep. Plus it stops when he leaves. There's no more after that."
"When he leaves? I saw up to when Grey jumps. I got to tell you. It was a nightmare. I think I was possessed."
“We can go over it again. I don't mind."
"Grey and Red were close but why doesn't she talk about him. Grey was her boyfriend. She didn't seem torn between them. It was obvious she loved Grey. I'd read her mind but it has holes, like, memory loss or something."
"I think the holes in her memory have to do with the trauma Red was 'fixing'. Dash grabs his glasses off the nightstand.
"Fixing what?" I rub my head. "Wait, is this another book?"
"Yeah. Sorry." Dash stands. "Red took her memories away. If Red can go into her mind and take away her memories, what else could he do? It seems he hid a lot from her."
"He did what? How many books did you read? I thought this makes two." I point the journal.
Dash averts his eyes. "I took a glance at some of the others."
He scans
books and that counts as reading somehow to Dash.
"Red can do a lot more than what we saw." He pauses for a moment but hesitated, to say any more like it's a secret between him and Red. "So, what are you doing today?" He changes the subject.
"If you think we're hanging out you are sadly mistaken my friend." I leave my bed to check my reflection. In the mirror, Dash lowers his head, and rakes his hair. This kid is always lonely. Even with a large family, he has no one. He doesn't have any friends. He spends a lot of his time on his own in his room, drawing picture of naked chicks and calling it art.
"Whatever." Dash grabs the journal and his backpack. He expects this kind of an answer and shrugs off the let down like it's the norm.
"Wait." I roll my eyes. "We might as well grab something for breakfast."
He tries to fight a smile. I hear the celebration inside of his head like he finally got what he always wanted—a friend to talk to.
***
Dash
I finish my pancakes, trying to fill Alex in on what I've read thus far, but it doesn't keep his eyes at the table. The cute redhead named Laurie, waiting on us, distracts him again as she passes to take another table order.
"What do you think about the whole roof Grey thing?" I place my fork down.
Alex's eyes follow Laurie as she makes her way across the diner.
"Alex!" I kick him from under the table.
"Ow! I'm listening. It's just a lot of story to take in." His gaze reluctantly makes it back to the table. "Remind me again, Grey came back fine after the jump, right?"
"Right. Don't you think it's weird that Grey came back fine? What happened to the thing that was in Red?"
"I wouldn't call it fine. You said he flipped on her. Maybe it went into Grey." Alex rubs his forehead. "But Red scanned him. He was reading fine. I don't know. I would need to see for myself."
