by Amanda Miga
Dash sighs. "If we can't help each other, how are we to help Violet?"
Violet. I toss the keys to him.
He has the keys. What have I done?
Our eyes meet as if Dash can hear me, confirming my thoughts. Even though he isn't a mind reader, he has a keen sense of things. His attention to detail is worrisome. Hiding and being ignored is what I'm used to. Not being a focus of someone’s attention.
Dash handcuffs himself to the long chain, which is chained to the bed. He throws the keys to our handcuffs across the room. Hearing keys hit the floor, I question if this is a good idea. We're locked so we can’t touch, but the moment he enters my aura space there will be no turning back. I fear whatever friendship we would’ve had is now out the window. I hope for Dash's sake he knows what he’s doing.
"First, you need to relax."
"I am relaxed." My heart is racing like the Indie 500.
"I can see you're not. Just try to meditate. I know you're good at that.”
Jesus, has he been watching me?
"You remember how your body feels when you do that? Find that."
I can't relax with Dash's eyes staring at me.
"I don't feel anything. It's hard because I'm usually alone when I meditate."
"Gabriel, you need to try harder. The whole idea is to be able be near people. You can't do that with no one around. Focus on your aura, the space around you. You should be able to make it shrink back. Move the energy inside of you. Pull it back."
I close my eyes and after few minutes of silence my body relaxes.
"Let your breathing slow."
I sink into my state, drowning out the world, except for Dash's lulling voice.
***
Dash
His chest rises and lowers slowly and more evenly. His brow is no longer knotted. His jaw is lowered slightly and his hands aren't balled up. The details tell me that Gabriel is completely relaxed. "Now with each breath, imagine pulling your energy inside of you. Breathe it in with each breath."
I study the micro details of Gabriel’s body which display he may be successful in the task. I slowly step closer not to disturb his focus. I take a final step forward confirming his aura had indeed moved.
Taking another step, my nervous breathing breaks his concentration. His eyes flash open and his aura expands like a wave crashing over me.
Gabriel's face changes; his eyes turn dark and hungry. He attempts to step forward, but his handcuffs won't allow it. His intensity shoots a vibration through me like an electrical shock. Struck with desire I couldn’t have conjured myself, I obediently come forward as far as the chain would allow me. A fire burns within Gabriel's eyes. A fire I want to feed. I read the details in his body language, taking in every muscle movement, allowing the pheromones to intoxicate me. I'm love drunk and below my belt aches. I have an overwhelming need to unlock our handcuffs and bath in more of Gabriel. But I remember I threw the keys across the room. I scurry for the keys and reach helplessly.
The clingy sensation leaves my skin as I leave Gabriel's aura space.
"This wasn't a good idea." He crouches with nowhere to hide.
I give up on the keys. My body is still reacting to Gabriel, so I sit still not to disturb between my legs any further. “It’s fine.” My breathing is a giveaway that I'm not.
"I'm sorry." Gabriel says. "I'm hopeless. I feel like it came out stronger."
"No. You did it." My voice is not quite my own. I watch him drag his fingers through his black hair. My ability to see detail adds to my new obsession—Gabriel is fascinating. "Whatever you did, do it again." I pull my jeans a little for some relief.
"I don't think I can. I don't think I should."
"You have to. You have to be able to suck it in even when you’re distracted."
"I can't. I-I need a moment."
"Yes, you can. Now is better. That energy can be manipulated. Use it. Pull it in." I say firmly.
Gabriel's eyes are weary and his body is limp from the energy burst.
"Do it for Violet. You'll be able to be closer to her—close enough to touch her."
He closes his eyes and smiles.
"Whatever you’re doing right now keep doing it." My hand reaches out in front of me. "It's working." I can hear his breath has purpose. His breathing staggers out and lets it go.
"See? You did it quicker this time. Did you feel it? Where your aura went and what you were doing to keep it there?"
Gabriel nods. His smile is amazing. "I can feel it gathering in my chest."
I comb my hair out of my face. "Practice. More practice." I scan Gabriel's happy face. There's brightness in his eyes that lights up his entire being. I'm helping him. The ache below the belt returns. "Again." I orders.
***
Gabriel
"Again," Dash says. I uncomfortably cuffed to the railing with my hand is above my head. I'm exhausted. My aura pulsing in and out of my body takes a lot out of me. Not to mention Dash's greedy eyes. I know he's helping me but those eyes. He's not okay.
"You don’t look good." I watch Dash move his leg like someone with too much caffeine in their system.
"I'm fine."
"I know what happens after, Dash."
"What do you mean?" He pokes at the keyhole in his cuffs with a paperclip.
"People get weird."
"Well, you're in luck, I'm already weird." He blows his hair from his eyes.
I can see that. "I mean usually people tend to get obsessive or embarrassed. I make them feel—"
I don't know how to tell Dash I know the real reason he's helping me. I left an impression. Just like Josh, Dash will no longer be a friend, but see me as something more.
His intense stare keeps threating me. It makes me uncomfortable. I wonder how much longer it would be before Violet or Alex will find us? How long until he picks the lock?
"I don't think you have to worry about me." Dash says coolly.
"It's never worked out that way."
"Why not?"
"Bad things happen."
"Like?"
I want to hide. My eyes are welling up; I'm trying to hold back before tears make their claim on my cheek.
"Gabriel, it's okay. I'm not like other people. Nothing bad is going to happen. We're still friends, right?"
I nod. I'm not convinced Dash wants to be just friends.
The door opens. Violet and Alex stand dumbfounded at the scene.
"Whoa! What's going on? Why are you chained to the bed?" Alex picks the keys up and unlocks Dash. He stops in his tracks before he gets too close to me. Dash takes the keys from him and walks straight up to me. My front is on fire. The intensity is too much but Dash must be repressing himself. How can he do that? It takes every part of my being to hold myself back with Alex and Violet watching. Dash stares into my eyes for a brief moment. His breathing is heavy. Is he doing this because he wants to prove something or my aura did damage. When the lock clicks open he leaves the room quickly.
Violet is still staring with her mouth wide open. Alex awkwardly frowns, uneasy about what he must be picking up with telepathy.
"Gabriel?" Violet covers her mouth.
It's too embarrassed. What does she think happened here? I rush out of the room instead of answering her.
Dash is sitting on the sofa. His legs move nervously about, while his hands rub his thighs.
"You are not okay," I ask.
He nods without looking at me. "I'm okay."
He isn't. What we did in Red's room proved it's gotten to him. I know all too well what will become of this. I'm hoping Dash is right, that I have nothing to worry about; that Hybrids are different. But instead of helping me, the situation hurt Dash.
"We have to stay away from each other, okay?"
Dash looks up bewildered. "What? No!"
His tone surprises me and it hurts.
Alex and Violet enter the room and I exit to my bedroom. Peeking through the crack of the bedroom door, Violet sits beside Dash. A
lex looks up at me. It's safe away from them where I can't hurt or embarrass anyone.
***
Dash
"Dash, are you okay?" Violet asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She looks to Alex, who only shrugs.
Her presence slows my heart rate. But then she puts her arm around me and a similar sensation like Gabriel's only very subtle. The energy enters me soothing my nerves. I'm surprised by the sensation. There's nothing about this in Red's journal's.
She pulls away. She must remember she shouldn't touch. What a disappointment.
"What were you doing?" She composes herself.
I'm ashamed because both reasons are secrets. I've been reading the journals. The other reason is I'm fascinated by Gabriel.
"We were..."
You were trying to fix Gabriel. Alex's voice interrupts my thought.
"We were trying to fix Gabriel." I lower my head. I hate to lie to her. I wasn't trying to fix him. I was trying to help him control his ability. There's nothing to fix. Gabriel is already perfect.
"What makes you think you can 'fix' Gabriel?"
He wanted to be fixed.
"He wanted to be fixed." That's true.
"How did you think you would do that, Dash?"
I don't wait for Alex this time. I can't lie to her.
"I thought maybe, if he focused enough he'd be able to keep it inside of him." I was going to mention Red, but that would reveal my other secret.
Violet looks very sorry. "Dash you can't fix him. This is who he is."
She's right about that. If Red can do it Gabriel can. He can't be fixed but rather I provide him with encouragement so he can manipulate his energy. This is what I found in Red's Journals which I've read without her permission. She won't believe me anyway.
"Do you understand me, Dash? There's nothing you can do."
She's so wrong about that. She's just saying this because she's just like him. She thinks there's nothing you can do. It's not her fault Red hadn't taught her enough about her ability. She has the pull problem, too—maybe not as strong as Gabriel and Red. Red did nothing to help her, but in fact neglected to tell her on purpose. I'll prove it to her. Gabriel just needs practice.
"Dash?"
"Yeah, I get it."
"I think we should call it a night," Violet stands.
I hastily grab I backpack. "Goodnight." I briefly look up at Gabriel's green eyes peeking through his bedroom door. "Goodnight, Gabriel."
Chapter Twenty-Six
Gabriel
My fingers run along the journal spine. It's smooth but wrinkles slightly every time I open it. The pages fan out revealing I have a few empty pages to fill. The spine rests flat on the writing desk, opening loyally to receive my pen.
A row of three identical ink pens are lined up at the corner of my desk top. A strange habit of keeping things in rows and stacks helps me feel I'm keeping from destroying the room’s perfection. I must continue to do this until I can emulate the person Red think’s I am—a clean, pristine soul that deserves to be comfortable in such beautiful surroundings. Until I can be like Red, I’ll keep my practice of coordinating the items in the room to make up for my flaws.
I contemplate carefully what to write. But I'm distracted by the wood grain on the desk. My hand rubs down the surface. This used to be a tree but it wasn’t cut down. This must have been waiting in the forest to be utilized. I smiles when I think of these stories. They seem true. I can't imagine Red being as awful as the ones destroying trees like they're a nuisance.
My desk. My room. I don’t deserve this.
I can’t believe this lovely space is a representation of me. Maybe Red doesn’t know me at all. This can’t be me.
But the journal—Red knows I need to writes everything down. It's one way I can express myself. Josh used to be an outlet, but with him, I couldn’t tell him everything. There is no one to talk to about the terrible things I've done. Writing is a way to let it out without getting close to anyone. Red knows this or he wouldn’t have left the journal for me to write in. Even having successes in holding my aura back, I can never really be close to anyone. Being close includes touching which is something I can never do.
Dash knows a little—but we can never be friends.
The incident in Red's room yesterday is replaying over and over like a bad song. I wrote about it, thinking about how successfully I held in my aura and how Dash helped. I find myself oddly thinking about Dash. Why did he really help me? Is it because he wants to help me tame my ability or is it something else? He wants to help me get closer to people without being afraid of setting them off, or setting myself off. Is Dash that generous? He cleared Red's room of the strong residual energy. How did he do that? They could've easily done it outside.
There’s a knock at the door. I don't hesitate to open it, anticipating Violet's pretty face on the other side. My smile drops to the pit of my stomach and my excitement fizzles out. Speak of the devil.
"Can I come in?" Dash peeks up from the top of his glasses.
I hesitate. Dash helped me and I never thanked him for it. But he must be affected by me. Why else would he be at my bedroom door? If Dash steps through the threshold, there’s a chance it won’t be the last time. I can't let that happen in a perfect place like this. It will ruin everything.
I must have thought too long because Dash sighs disappointedly, and places his hands awkwardly in his pockets. Some of his untidy hair swings over his glasses when he bows his head.
“I don’t think it's a good idea.” My arm firms-up across the entry.
“I see.” Dash’s brows scrunches up.
He looks hurt. “I’m sorry but—“
“No. It’s fine. I thought you’d help me practice my ability.”
“Your ability to what?”
“Decipher. I can read the objects in your room match them to your personality. I thought you’d be a good subject.”
“What about the rest of this cabin? Don’t you need to study that for Red’s sake?”
“I already have. Your room is the only place left.” His Adam’s apple drops and rises. Why is Dash nervous?
“Maybe I don’t want you prying into my things. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me. I’m sure you have tons of friends that you could do that with."
“I—I don’t have any.” Dash averts his eyes. I think that's strange considering he doesn't have a condition like me. He seems normal otherwise. “I thought maybe we could be friends." Dash's eyes beg like a stray cat.
Shit. I look away. "Maybe—"
"We can be friends!" Dash finishes. He ducks under my arm without hesitation even though my hands are still gripping the door. Heat briefly brushes my side. What Am I doing? I'm totally asking for it.
Dash is a hazard. Every friend I've had, I can't trust myself, but in this case I can't trust Dash. He makes me nervous because his eyes do more than look at things. I won’t put it past him to examine the details of my room for personal purposes. The way he's been looking at me raises concern. Josh looked at me the same way. I can only hope that Dash being a hybrid won't ruin anything.
His olive eyes are more perplexing every time I see them. They move quickly, like he's reading a book; left to right; up and down, but it's just the empty wall. Violet explained what Dash's gifts are. I see objects and can tell just about anything about the person. His visual memory is like a photo copier. He keeps to himself, which is more nerve racking. I never thought I’d be the subject of interest to a mind like Dash's. Hopeful Red’s perception veils my dark secrets.
Dash leans close to the painting of the strange moving crow.
"Yeah, that thing's pretty creepy, right?" I leave the door open.
"Actually it's very... you." Dash lifts his glasses for a closer look.
"What does that mean? I'm creepy?" I joke. I don't doubt it.
"I wouldn't call it creepy." Dash moves on to my book shelves.
"What would you call it? Forget it. I don’t want
to know."
Dash’s crooked smile curls a little more as he continues to my writing desk. His fingers skim the surface which gives me tingles down my back.
Dash looks down.
The journal is open.
I dart to the desk and shut the journal. "This is off limits!"
Dash walks away, wearing a smirk worth worrying about. I can’t put it past Dash to see what I've written about him. He can scan things, but I'm not sure how quick.
He goes to the window. The green plants don't seem to surprise him and neither does the view. He briefly takes his glasses off and rests them on his head. He moves the plants without asking, opens the window wide and sits on the ledge. He places his glasses back on and stares at the room.
“This is an interesting view.”
“I think the view behind you is more interesting.” I fold his arms. He's so weird.
“No.” He shakes his head. “This is the real view. Red put a lot of care in this room. He took everything about you in consideration.
What does Dash know about me to know that? My stomach twists a little.
"The window is the real entrance to your room.” He hops down from the window and moves the plants back.
“The window?”
Dash walks across the room to the door. “This is your window.” He points to my door. Come look.”
I shrug and look out of my so called window that’s actually a door. My eyes go straight to Red’s open bedroom where Violet is sitting on his bed. At a distance she’s framed by Red’s door and the hall entrance. She’s a beautiful moving picture.
“You like her.” Dash says in my ear. The sound of his voice sends a shiver down my spine. The back of my neck warms. Dash is too close.
