by Amanda Miga
Alex, with Dash's help, grabs my arms and drags me out of the room. Gabriel locks the door so I can't get in.
"What are you doing?! He needs me! Let go!" I thrash. "Let me go!"
"Hey look at me." Alex cups my face tightly. "He said he has to regain his strength before he can change back. You need to leave him, okay? Do you understand?"
“But he's hurting.”
"I know, but he'll be fine." Alex's shaky voice doesn't reassure me. "Just give him space okay?"
I don't respond. I still feel the overwhelming need to help him. I need to fix this. Alex embraces me tightly. I sob uncontrollably in his wet shirt. The night’s event replays through my mind. Grey's hatred for Red; Red suffering—how is he still alive? Red... Red... my mind is a reel of pain. I'm lifted and cradles on the sofa and slowly I'm calmed by the rocking motion.
"You can't touch her like that." I hear Dash say. "She's too open."
I press ear listens to Alex's deep voice say, "I don't care." His hands hold me closer.
***
Violet
I wake to find Alex's arms wrapped protectively around me. He's asleep and his face is so close to mine, I can feel his breathing at my temple. I move his heavy arms from across my chest and wiggle away. Something is on my legs. Dash fell asleep slumped over my thigh with his arm woven through my legs. Gabriel is in Red's chair, well away from our tangled bodies. He looks like Red only much younger. I remove Dash's hands from my body and slide away without waking them. I carefully go to Red's room. The door is unlocked.
Red changed back. His blood-stained bed sheets barely cover his discolored body. I approach and sees how severely battered he is. He's breathing harder than normal and is holding his side. His eyes crack open and the tiny bit of eye I see isn't the blue, but black. I kneel without disturbing the bed.
Red says nothing. His labored breathing and non-existent aura are heart wrenching. I reach for his hand which doesn't respond. His cold hand has no feeling, no power, and no pull. I take his dead hand and bring it to my face. I kiss it and rub it along my cheek. I close my eyes remembering the last moment before he left. His magnetic touch when he caressed my face was warm and alive. He loved me. He's always loved me.
"I love you, Red. Please don't leave me again." I sob.
His finger moves ever so slightly.
"What are you doing?"
Gabriel’s voice startles me. I know the sound of jealousy. “Go back to bed, Gabriel.” I'm a little angry he ruined the moment.
"You're aura's covering him."
"Gabriel—"
"It's clinging to him as if he's wearing your aura like pajamas. The color is different than usual; blue and lavender. I think it's... helping him."
"Try placing your hand on his ribs." Dash walks in behind him rubbing his sleepy eyes.
I look to Red who blinks. I place my hands on his ribs and he immediately inhale deeply, and his eyes wince in pain. I want to pull away. I maybe I'm hurting him. His breathing normalizes. I want to move my hand elsewhere. I look to Dash.
"Keep to his torso." Dash sits beside me and places his hand on mine showing me where to keep them. "Work your way out from there."
I do what I'm told around the wounded areas, his skin clears up and his wounds starts to shrink. His body is looking less like a bruised apple.
"How do you know about this?" I turn to Dash as I place my hand over his heart.
"I don't know. When I look at him I feel like Alex, only it's not his thoughts I read; it's him telling me in a different way. I can look at him and I know. It's so weird."
"Maybe you have a connection with him in a different way." I smile.
"I don't even know him. But I think you're right."
"When he's better you'll be closer."
Dash sheds a tear.
"What is it?"
"Nothing." Dash pushes up his glasses.
"It's not nothing." Alex enters the room. "He's afraid like the rest of us."
"Shut up for once, Alex." Dash wipes his wet face.
"Afraid? He's looking much better than before." I caress Red's skin.
"Not Red."
"Shut up, Alex!"
"You shut up!"
"We'll have a chance to talk later."
"We're not going to have a chance to talk about it when he wakes. You know it. We're finished here!" Alex leaves the room.
"Dash, what is he talking about?"
Dash bows his head, hiding his face in his hands. The terrace doors rattle. "Dash, you're doing it again." I place my hand on his shoulder to comfort him. He jumps to his feet. "I-I'm sorry I just need some air." He runs out the room.
"He's afraid of losing you." Gabriel stands at the far end of the room. His eyes seem to purposefully avoid Red. "Things will change."
"Losing me?" I look to Red whose eyes are closed and breathing sounds like he's asleep. I wonder if he's listening. "Dash shouldn't be afraid." I place my upon Red's cheek. "When he's better, he'll fix everything. Things will be better for everyone. He'll help each of us. We have so much to learn from him."
"It's not that, Violet. It's not that at all."
"What do you mean?" I look to Gabriel, but he's left the room.
***
Gabriel
Maybe it's me. I'm too afraid the alpha male will kick me out. If I hide, maybe Red will forget I'm living in his home. Who am I kidding?. Now that he's awake, I can't face the man who will see every thought I had about his girlfriend. Not to mention I kissed her and pursued her.
I want to talk to Violet, but she's preoccupied with him, she probably forgot I live here too.
Red is sitting up in his bed, able to move his head and turn his body on his own. That is too much. Even though he's silent, it doesn't stop from Violet rabbling on and on about what's happened. I tried being in the same room, but I'm unworthy to be in his presence. I stay away from him as his residence grows within the Sanctuary. When he spots me peeking from the door crack, I run back to my room like a scolded child. He's too significant to look at. Those eyes will know my secrets if I let them linger on me. His greatness is something I can never contend with.
I keep to my room because he's all over the cabin, putting an unreasonable fear into me. He isn't even walking or talking and his power strengthens with every touch Violet places on his perfect body. She will never look at me the way she looks at Red. I'm a filthy thing she let in to his home. Maybe I'm to be exterminated.
Alex and Dash stop by but their visits are short. They don't to stay long. It seems Red is too much for them too.
Violet is so pleased and even trance-like as Red finally recovers enough to stand. She worships him. I know because it's happened to me. He has that aura about him that's ten times more attractive than my own. I often wonder if I can persuade Violet, then Red must be able to do the same. Is she under his spell?
I want to pass the time quickly by writing about Red's recovery. I stare at the leather bound journal contemplating whether I should pick up the pen or not.
Violet's cry alerts me.
Peeking out from my bedroom door Red sends Violet and her things out of his room. She's crying her eyes out, carrying a few things she's kept in his room. She makes her way to a door down the adjacent hallway. I think the room is a closet from how small it is. She drops her things on the floor and falls to her knees. I can hear her sobbing. It only makes me angry how Red is treating her after all she's done for him. The light in Red's room goes out.
Violet crawls to Grey's door and upon opening it she cries hysterically. She doesn't have a room and Grey's room is too painful to sleep in. Does he expect her to sleep in there?
I'd offer my bed but I'm afraid he'll punish me for helping her from whatever reason he's dismissing her. I don't know what to do. I feel like a coward closing the door, listening to her cry.
I keep to my bed; unable to bring myself to help Violet. I stare at the ceiling for a long time. I can't sleep.
A knock at the do
or startles me. I don't want to leave my bed. I don't want Red to come in. I don't want to leave my room.
Dash opens the door and lets a fresh air escapes in with him.
"It's late." I contain my excitement to see him but he could probably tell.
"Sorry. I couldn't sleep." Dash drops his backpack and closes the door.
"Did you see Violet? Is she alright?"
"She's sleeping on the couch." Dash approaches the bed. "I was going to sleep on the loveseat..." He eyes me.
I move over on my bed. It was instant. I give it a second thought as his weight settles beside me. For a moment, if feels like it's the Josh situation all over again. The only thing that's different is I want Dash next to me. I don't want to be alone with Red home.
"Do you feel it?" I ask.
Dash nods. "I know you feel it more. I'm sorry I can't do anything about it."
I like that he always wants to remedy everything. It's probably why I feel comforted by him. It's been days since we talked.
“Your aura is held in so tightly. I can barely feel a vibration.”
"I'm scared he'll want me to leave. I can feel him watching me. I can feel him everywhere. He can destroy me."
"Why do you say that? He invited us."
I rest my head back on my pillow. "He knows everything about me—everything. I'm a threat to Violet."
Dash's sigh is not reassuring. He removes his glasses and rests his head on the pillow beside me.
"What's going to happen to me? I don't want to be separated from her, but I don't think I want to watch them as a couple either."
"Give it time." Dash turns on his side to face me. "What you're feeling is his power gaining back quickly. You might be overwhelmed by that. I don't think he's a threat to you like you think. As far as what he knows about you, I think he'll help."
Dash leans closer. The warmth of another body feels like heaven; not my mother, not Josh, not Violet—it's Dash of all people. After all this time, lying with him in my bed, I feel at home. The combination of a friend to talk to and a pleasant place to sleep is heaven. I don't want to leave it.
"Promise me no matter what happens we'll stay... friends." I turn my head and Dash is closer than I thought.
"I promise." His lips say the words gently as his intense dark eyes say something else.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Gabriel
I feel out of place in my room. Being with Dash last night helped me forget about everything, at least for a while. Red must know what we were doing. He must have seen Dash leave for school this morning. I want to write about how I feel but using the things Red gave me to write with feels wrong. Will he take away the journal that was gifted to me? There's so much about Violet in it; things another guy shouldn't say about another guy's girlfriend.
I want to pass the time quickly, but I can't bring myself to do anything. I'm a prisoner. Dash told me it's my own doing. Maybe he's right.
My head prickles and I'm startled out of my chair. I search the room for someone but there's no one. My gut tells me Red wants to see me. The idea gives me a headache. I look at my door. Is he on the other side?
I go to check. I peek out of the crack of my door and find Red on the first floor, gazing out of the window. He's standing on his two feet without any help. Violet is on the sofa sleeping again. She seems to sleep more often than she should. I bet that's Red's doing.
His colorful flickering eyes dart up in my direction. I've been caught spying. I can't take my eyes away. A weird sensation like a string tied to my core tightens as Red moves away from the window with his eyes glued to mine.
Gabriel.
I gasp and close the door and the string feeling disappears. His voice is like it was in my dream. He's real and he wants to talk to me. I can't face him. I back away from the door. I hope he won't come to my room, even if it is his Sanctuary.
I need to get out of here.
I climb out of my window to escape the cabin. The leader's presence is still strong enough to make me sick, but I'm able to curb the reaction. Being outside is a great relief. I miss the warmth and nature. I spin around to make sure he's not following me.
I sit by the lake's edge facing the cabin, just in case he decides to come out. I can get a head start and run. I snap some sticks and throw them in to the water. Some sink and others float. If I run, will I run away for good? No, I can't. Maybe I'll go into the Black forest. Violet would hate that.
"Violet." Her name rolls off my tongue like a song.
If I feel like this, what does Violet feel? I'm concerned with her happiness. Hearing her cry is hard. Being afraid to help is harder. I miss the conversations we had and her laughter. I wish she'd come to see me in my room and talk to me. Instead, she sits by herself waiting for Red's door to open.
Red locks himself in his room all day and night. I wonder sometimes if Red ever eats or uses the bathroom. What does he do anyway? Dash says he writes like I do. What does he write about?
Maybe he writes about Violet too. I don't see why if he has her. Maybe he's angry or sad and he writes about that? What does he have to be upset about? The guy has everything. Violet waits at his door like a slave. She's under his control. That's what it looks like. The idea sickens me.
The floating twigs in the lake are slowly circling. From the corner of my eye Alex and Dash walk in from the gate. I've missed them.
"What's up?" Alex says as they sit beside me.
I try not to smile as Dash's leg presses against mine. I quickly refocus before I disgust Alex.
"Red isn't at all what I expected him to be. I can't think of anyone else's shoes I’d rather be in. Violet loves him. But the way he’s treating her, he’s become such a disappointment."
"Disappointing, huh?"
"He ignores her. She practically throws herself at him and he pushes her away."
"Is he angry?" Alex asks.
"I don't understand why?" Dash pushes up his glasses.
"He's treating her like an annoying child." I snap a twig in half.
"Kinda how she treats us," Alex sighs.
"So, what’s happened?" Dash asks.
"He won't let her near him. He doesn't even talk to her. He treats her like she's not here."
"He's not her boyfriend." Dash's words bring my heart to a flutter. "I think she's still infatuated with him."
"Sounds familiar?" Alex says also looking briefly at Gabriel.
"Oh come on." Gabriel throws another twig in the water. "I'm not the only one who likes her." I glance at the cabin and then back at the lake. "I just don't want him treating her like shit."
Alex winces. "Watch what you say about him. He's a telepath remember. Besides it's kinda his place. I'm glad he's here. I was hoping he could teach me a few things about my telepathy. Frankly, I don't mind that he pushes her away. It’s nice that maybe she doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
"Well, I don't like it." Gabriel's fingers snap a stick.
Alex and Dash look at each other.
"Just don't mess with him. I'm pretty sure you'd lose." Alex says.
"It's not that I don't like him... I don't know. Now that he's around, I don't exist to Violet." I throw my broken sticks into the lake. “Violet doesn't think twice about anyone else. I had a feeling that was going to happen. I don't like to see her unhappy. It's painful." I rub his forehead. "He's... scary."
"I don't think he means to hurt her. But I don't think he intends to be with her either." Why does everything Dash says, a surprise to me? I meet his eyes with this new revelation. "He wants to fix what happened between the three of them." Dash continues. "I read in his journal that Grey was meant for her."
"Meant for her?" I shake my head snapping another twig. "That’s bullshit."
"Wish I could confirm that. I tried to read Red, but he's locked like Fort Knox. Wish I could do that. I feel like an open book when I'm around him." Alex says.
"Join the club." Dash says.
"Maybe Grey's out of the picture for
good. He's truly more fucked up than you, Gabriel." Alex says.
"Thanks." I bow my head.
"If I were Red and Grey's out of the picture, then I'd take Violet." Alex says.
"Why is he pushing her away?" Gabriel says.
"He's the Guardian. It's his job to protect us." Dash says disappointingly. "He can't be with her, it's forbidden."
"What?" I perk my head up.
“No shit. Are you serious?” Alex’s eyes widen. “That’s awesome!”
The prickling feeling spreads around my head again. "You feel that?" I drag my fingers through my hair.
Dash and Alex rub their heads too.
"It's Red." Alex looks to the cabin. "He wants to talk to us."
"He must have heard us." Dash frowns.
"Great. Time to pack my backpack."
***
Violet
One by one they’re called into Red's room. Each one comes out more distressed than when they went in. Without talking to each other and without a glance at one another, they go to separate areas of the living room. Alex is looking out of the window biting his fingernails and zoning out into the glass. Gabriel is face down on the sofa with his face mushed into a pillow. Dash sits on the stair with his head down between his knees. What did Red say for such worrisome auras? I'm finally called in and I'm relieved. He hasn't said a word to me yet.
The atmosphere in Red's bedroom feels dramatically different. There's heaviness to the air and his strong presence takes residence again. The light pours through the terrace door but he rests just out of the sun's ray. His black clothing blends cleanly into the shadow. His belt shines as he moves out of the darkness and into the stream of light, revealing his unreadable gorgeous face. His eyes are flashing in a kaleidoscope of color, a clue that his emotions are hidden away behind those Guardian eyes. I long for the Red in my memories to appear as I remember; his voice to speak to me; his eyes to turn back to the lovely sapphire color I loved since I was a child; his arms to embrace me once more so we can be together forever.
