by D. Kelly
I’m laughing so hard and so is she; I can’t believe she just said that. “Girls do not have spank banks but you’re welcome.”
“We do so have spank banks! It’s a pretty gender neutral thing. Would it make you feel better if I call it the ‘rub club’? How about ‘my finger vault’ or even better, how do you like the sound of ‘clam dam’?”
I can’t stop laughing. Oh my god, she’s being so adorably funny I’ve got tears streaming down my face.
“Stop! Just knowing you have so many names for your spank bank makes me wonder who else lives in there besides me now.”
“I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you. Unless you’re secretly bi and then maybe we could share.” More laughter from her side of the call; if only she knew how close she is.
“Not bi but definitely sexually open.”
“Really? Do tell.”
“Nope, that’s an in person kind of discussion, don’t you think? And speaking of in person discussions… Vanessa is moving in on Wednesday should I come and help?”
“I think that could be a very interesting in person discussion, but I’m game if you are. And yes, on Wednesday, but she’s got help…she just wants to get settled. We figured Saturday you and Mike could come over so you can all talk and figure things out.”
“Sounds good. Let’s try to get the Vanessa meeting done mid-morning if we can. Connor is having a barbeque and he wants everyone to come over. Sort of a welcome home party, just all of us and Mike. It can be our first chance to really try out this friendship and see how awkward it can really be.” God, she’s going to hate me when she learns just how sexually open I’ve been.
“Well, that’s what alcohol is for, right?” she says with a yawn.
“Absolutely. You sound tired, but let’s talk tomorrow, okay?”
“I’d like that. Goodnight, Daniel.”
“Goodnight, Kate.”
CHAPTER SIX
MIKE
Work was a bitch today and I’m so glad it’s over and Jake is on his way up. Everything went fine with Rick and Daniel, but now with my transfer next week, I’ve just got way too much stuff to get done in a short amount of time. Rick was watching Daniel and me like he thought he was going to have to jump in and break up a fight. He was noticeably conflicted; I’m sure this is hard on him as well. Rick wants what is best for Daniel but I know he thinks of me as a son; he’s told me so on more than a few occasions. Even so, Daniel is his son.
The past few days have been rough, taking me from one emotional extreme to another. Having Kate in my life again is the best thing that has happened to me in years. But learning she’s Daniel’s Kate… not so great. Finding out about Lila Hope absolutely ripped my heart into shreds, but being able to read Kate’s journal filled a few of those wounds with love. If only I’d been there when she craved pickles and salsa, or lemons with sugar—we could have laughed about it together. I would have brought her all the Kit-Kats and chicken soft tacos her heart desired. I missed being able to kiss Kate’s pregnant belly as it grew from our love. I would give anything to have been there to feel that first kick, to hear her heartbeat, to tell her I loved her, to have said goodbye. I want another chance to get Kate on a plane headed back to our island so we can create another miracle.
I loved being in her bed again even if it was innocent. I’ve missed being able to watch her sleep; she always looks so peaceful. Actually, being close enough that her gardenia scent could seep into my pores is better than I could have ever imagined. Slowly, we’ll work on getting our lives back on track and evolve to this new normal. After the emotional visit with my mom and Joseph yesterday, I fled to Daniel’s house. Relief washed over me when he let me in to talk, but I shouldn’t have been surprised; Daniel is nothing if not a class act. As soon as I saw him, though, I knew we were only going to talk about Kate and telling him about my mom would have to wait for another time. In the end, it all worked out because he showed me his tattoo and now I know what I’m up against. He’s never going to give her up like I hoped he would. All I can hope for now is that he’s the father of Vanessa’s baby and decides to step up and marry her.
Maybe Kate is right; Daniel loves her almost if not as much as I do and she loves him, too, not just thinks it, she really does love him. But I know she loves me too. I felt it in that kiss and can see it in her actions. It’s not like the three of us can be in a relationship with each other and there’s no way one of us won’t be hurt if she chooses between us. But by not making a choice, she’s not protecting her heart like she thinks she is. In reality she’s only making it hurt more. I know that feeling well; it’s what brought me back to her.
With a serious need to clear my head, I jumped at the chance to hang out with Jake tonight. Jake has heard bits and pieces of all the drama from Connor and was blown away to say the least. When he offered to come up with tequila and pizza there was no way I was going to turn him down. I’m glad he’s coming; I need someone to talk to who isn’t on anyone’s side. Connor has made it clear he’s not picking any sides except for Kate’s but I know he’s secretly hoping she’ll pick Daniel.
There’s a pounding on my door which practically has me jumping out of my chair. Even when you know Jake is coming over, most of the time he scares you with his knock. It sounds more like a damn SWAT team than anything. I’ll never understand why he just doesn’t walk in; I’ve told him enough times. I think he gets personal pleasure from scaring people with that knock.
“Goddamn, are you sure you aren’t an LAPD dropout?”
“Funny, asshole, just get a thicker skin. If just my knock scares your pussy ass, what the hell else are you afraid of?” He’s laughing as he barrels his way inside.
“Right now there are only two things that scare me: Vanessa’s baby being mine and losing Kate for good,” I tell him seriously.
“Yeah, I’d say you’ve got reason to feel that way. So let’s get drunk and hash this shit out. You do finally have a bed in that spare room of yours, right?”
“Yes, there’s a bed and you’ll be first to break it in. Don’t fucking puke in it or you’ll be buying me a new one.” Jake is a heavy sleeper and he’s puked in a few beds because he didn’t wake up in time to make it to a bucket.
“I’m not going to puke on your precious bed. I don’t plan on getting that drunk; we both do still have to work tomorrow. Just drunk enough that you’ll finally tell me your story. I want to hear what happened Saturday from someone other than my drama queen brother.
Those two crack me up. They love to talk shit about each other but they are actually really close. It would have been nice to have a sibling growing up. Jess was always like a sister and Daniel has become a brother, which is what makes this hard.
A few shots of tequila and a few pieces of pizza later, Jake finally starts to ask questions.
“So you’re pretty fucked right now, aren’t you?” he asks, smirking
“I don’t know why you think it’s funny, asshat. It’s really not,” I tell him after taking another shot, suddenly grateful I don’t have to be in until ten tomorrow morning.
“Seriously, I don’t think it’s funny. I think it’s a messed up situation. What I find funny is the timing. If you would have just come and found her three weeks ago, or showed up at Connor’s party, none of this would be happening.”
“Yeah, like I haven’t had that discussion with myself about a thousand times already,” I reply sarcastically.
“Alright, so tell me what happened. I want to hear it from you.” He gets comfortable in his chair, knowing it’s going to be a long story.
For someone who hasn’t talked much about my life the past few years, I sure have been telling my story a lot lately. Since Jake was occupied during the party, I finally fill him in on what was going on around him, too. I guess no one really gave him any details about that. Once I finish, I notice he even has tears in his eyes.
“You and Kate had a baby and she…and you didn’t even know. Man, I’m sorry
, that is beyond fucked up. I’d seriously die if that happened to me,” he says as he reaches out for the tequila, which is almost gone.
“So now what? Are you going to fight for her?”
After pounding a shot I answer him, “I’m trying to but she’s not making it easy and then there’s Daniel, not to mention the Vanessa situation. It’s like a freaking soap opera and I feel like all I can do is wait it out and be her friend. Ultimately, it’s her decision, but I know Kate and I know she can’t make this kind of choice. Mark my words, she’s going to ride out Vanessa’s pregnancy and then slowly start dating whoever is not the father.”
“You really think she’d do that? I mean no offense but that kind of makes her sound like a bitch.”
Shaking my head adamantly, I let him know that is not how it is at all. “No, no, no, she’s not diabolical like that at all. For all of Kate’s strengths, she’s an avoider, not because she can’t deal, but because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Kate would rather hurt than hurt you and it’s one of the best things…no, that’s not right. Oh, whatever…it’s just one of the biggest reasons why I’m so in love with her.”
“Did you hear that she’s my god sister? Mine and Connor’s?” He’s slurring his words but not anymore than me, I guess.
“What in the hell are you talking about? I kind of vaguely remember hearing something like that the night of the party, but honestly, I was lost in my own world and haven’t thought about it since.”
Jake tells me what happened when Daniel and Kate got to their house on Friday. I can only imagine how worked up Kate was over the whole thing. If she could have had Linda in her life growing up, her life could have been so much better. Not that Maryanne didn’t love her, or that my mom didn’t, either, but having your mom’s best friend probably would be beneficial I would think. No wonder she’s so stuck on this whole family thing because now it’s even bigger than I knew.
“Mike, for what it’s worth, here’s my opinion. You’ve gotta fight for her to the death if necessary. Well, maybe not that hard, but you know what I mean. Daniel’s a good guy, he’s a fair guy and I love him, but this is your April. I don’t know how you’ve gone this long without her, but don’t let her go.
I pour us the last two shots and think about what he said.
“For years, I pushed my feelings aside and it kills me to do it any longer. At some point, though, this has to be her choice. I let her know how I feel and I’m going to do everything I can to be her friend again. My life doesn’t work without her in it, and as devastated as I’ll be if she doesn’t pick me to build her life with, I would be destroyed to lose her completely. But I asked her if she was still in love with me and she couldn’t tell me no. That has to mean something, right?”
“Hell yeah it does! Look, Daniel screwed up getting that tattoo; it was way too fast. I trust his judgment and know that he thinks Kate is the one for him, but in reality, he really needs to back off. If it were any other situation where there wasn’t this kind of history I’d be all for Daniel getting the girl because he’s my boy. But in this situation she’s your April and I just feel like…like he’s ignoring your friendship. He’s watched you struggle for years with your demons and now he knows what they are. Hell, he’s the one who took you in and tried to fix you and make you whole again. Two weeks of insta love does not trump what you and Kate had and can have again. It just doesn’t”.
“Well, don’t hold back tell me how you really feel,” I reply, laughing
“Oh, come on, tell me you haven’t been thinking the exact same thing,” he challenges.
I’m at a loss for words which is unusual for me.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought; you know I’m right. Look, I feel bad for the guy, but Kate’s yours and he’s just gonna have to deal.”
“I hope you’re right, but you know the messed up part of this whole thing? I know what it feels like to lose Kate and I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone, let alone one of my best friends.”
“Do you have any idea how glad I am that I found April in high school? I could not imagine dealing with this kind of stuff. Dating would be a nightmare for me.”
“Well, I never wanted to date anyone else but Kate; it’s just what happened.”
Jake roars in laughter but I can’t for the life of me figure out why.
“Dude, you do realize you have never dated right? You’ve fucked but that’s all. In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never once seen you approach a woman. You’ve always waited for them to come to you. Maybe subconsciously that was your way of keeping a part of you only for her.”
“Are you going to get all philosophical on me now since you’re drunk?”
“Just speaking the truth,” he says with a yawn.
“Well, I think Daniel and I came to somewhat of a truce. We’ll see how it goes Saturday when we’re all in the same place at the same time. That dynamic ought to be interesting.”
“Connor said he’s popping popcorn and loading up on tequila and vodka. He thinks it’s going to be the most entertaining night of the year.”
Of course.
“Sounds like we need to get Connor drunk first before he can be entertained. He can entertain us instead with another rabbit hunt or something.”
“As long as it’s not with April, I’m down. Sorry, man, but I’ve got to get some sleep. I have a meeting at seven,” he says, yawning again.
The clock says it’s almost one; damn, we’ve been talking for hours.
“Thanks for coming out tonight, I appreciate it.”
“Anytime, bro, now man the fuck up and go get your woman back.”
If only it were that easy.
CHAPTER SEVEN
KATE
This week has flown by; I can’t believe it’s Saturday already. Vanessa’s move went smoothly and she’s been relaxing and staying stress free. I met Chad when he moved her in and I have to say they are pretty perfect together. I wish his fiancée would have come; I would love to see the dynamic between them. Chad acts like he still loves Vanessa, and from what she told me I know he does, but he seems more in love than just loving. Maybe some time apart will give them both some clarity on what they really feel for each other.
Shake it Off by Taylor Swift is playing, and even though the song is annoying, it’s super catchy and I find myself singing along to is as I scrub the floor. Cleaning has always been therapeutic for me; it helps me clear my head and so far this morning I’ve done my room, two bathrooms, and now the kitchen and it’s only nine.
Jess comes downstairs and starts singing along, too. Things are still tense with us but it seems to be getting slightly better. When the doorbell rings, Jess answers the door.
“Delivery for Kate Moore, needs a signature and a photo ID.”
“Kate, you’ve got a big delivery,” Jess says with a questioning tone in her voice. I’m already off the floor and grabbing my purse.
“Here you go, would you mind putting them over there in the corner?” I ask him as I hand him a twenty.
“Sure thing, ma’am, thank you.”
Jess watches him bring in case after case of One Hope champagne and paces. She doesn’t talk to me until he leaves. “Kate what do you need five cases of champagne for? Are you having a party you forgot to tell me about?”
“Nope.”
I’m just messing with her because it’s funny to see how exasperated she is while awaiting my answer. Arms crossed over her chest, feet tapping, and eyes rolling—typical Jess.
“Well? Are you going to tell me?”
“It’s to celebrate the baby and also drown my sorrows. One case each for the proud parents, one case for the man who dodged the bullet, and two cases for me.”
She raises an eyebrow at me, “Why do you need two?”
“One to celebrate that innocent little soul who is going to bless us with his presence and the other to drown my sorrows in because no matter how much of a blessing a baby is, this one is still going
to hurt like a mother.”
“I’m sorry, Kate”
“Well, it is what it is, right? Look, I’m going to go shower. Mike and Daniel will be here soon to talk to Vanessa so I need to be ready.”
“Okay, I’ll go check on her and see if she needs anything while you’re getting ready,” she says pensively and I soften a bit. I need to just forgive her but I’m having a hard time doing it.
“Thanks.”
After my shower I feel so much better, that is until I start to go downstairs. Jess is talking to Connor and her voice carries up the stairs.
“Every night this week, Connor, she’s come home drunk. I don’t know what the hell Marc thinks he’s playing at but it’s really starting to piss me off. She doesn’t need to get drunk every night just to avoid everything.”
“Calm down, Jess. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think it is. She’s seemed fine to me.”
“Fine? She seems fine to you? Do you not see the five cases of champagne in the corner? That is far from fine. She’s still pissed at me, so it’s not like I can say anything, but I can give Marc a piece of my mind.”
Oh fuck this, I’m livid.
“Jess if you have something you want to say, why don’t you just say it to me? I think you owe me at least that, don’t you? Or is keeping secrets just going to be your thing from now on? Hmm, maybe I’m wrong and keeping secrets has always been your thing, is there anything else I should know? Any other secrets you’ve been keeping from me for years?” I’m freaking fuming!
“Calm down, Kate. It’s not what you think; she’s just worried about you,” Connor says, trying to placate me.
“Do you know how many times I’ve seen her come home drunk? I don’t deserve this; I’ve never talked about you behind your back like this. Never. If I want to go out with my friend and have a few drinks, it’s my god-given right. People in glass houses, Jess—don’t try to be the morality police, not with me. Remember I know your secrets, too!” And with that, I storm out of the house and take a walk around the block to calm myself down.
