by D. Kelly
“Your parents love you and they want what’s best for you. Have you told them about Vanessa yet?” She reaches across the table and grasps my hand gently.
“I have and I’m sure you can imagine my dad’s reaction. As a matter of fact, he built a paternity lab about five years or so ago. The owner has already given him his top technician on call, so as soon as Vanessa goes into labor, my dad is to page him and he’ll meet us at the hospital. They said the results take between twelve and seventy-two hours typically, but he’ll be sure we get them in twelve.”
“Wow.”
“It’s good; I’m so glad he had that connection. I can’t touch that baby until I know if he is or isn’t mine and I know Mike feels the same. I couldn’t imagine waiting two days or even two weeks to find out. I just want it over with. Don’t get me wrong, if he’s mine I know I’ll be happy.” My tone is filled with sadness and she grips my hand tighter. I’d much rather Kate be the one pregnant instead.
“I get it,” she says with a forced smile. “Babies are blessings, Daniel. They may not come when we’re ready for them, but if you were the kind of guy who could deny his flesh and blood I wouldn’t want to be with you, anyway. Things will work out how they’re supposed to; we just have to have faith.”
There’s a comfortable pause in the conversation as we both eat and I refill her champagne.
“Is this your grandma’s recipe you were telling me about? Mmmm, it’s to die for, seriously. You’re still going to teach me how to make it, right?” The noises she makes while eating remind me of the noises she makes while having sex and I have to adjust myself under the table.
“Absolutely, anytime you want just tell me and I’ll show you how. I’m a pretty hands-on teacher, though, so you’ll need to be ready for me. We could easily have a repeat of the cupcake frosting incident.”
The hooded look in her eyes as she licks her lips, remembering back to that night, is more than I can take.
“Too bad we don’t have any cupcakes now,” she replies seductively.
“Are you done with your dinner?” I ask impatiently and she nods affirmatively and excitedly.
“Good, let’s go dance under the moonlight.” I can’t wait to get her in my arms.
It’s a gorgeous night—the sky is clear, the moon is almost full, and it’s cold enough for Kate to want to snuggle against me, but not cold enough for a jacket. Mine Would be You by Blake Shelton is playing softly, which couldn’t be more perfect. Then again, this entire playlist is my ‘Kate’ list and every song on here reminds me of her in one way or another.
I’ve got her wrapped tightly in my arms and she snuggles against me, breathing me in. When I chuckle lightly, she knows I’m on to her.
“What?” she says innocently. “I’ve missed this smell…I’ve missed you.”
“What happened to the shirt I left you?” I’m genuinely curious if she’s used it more than just that once. “Well, after we had phone sex, I kind of had to wash it; it got a little messy.”
Oh, I know all about her kind of messy. The girl comes like a fountain; it’s so fucking hot.
“Well, if you want, I’ll give you this shirt tonight. I have more in my room.”
“Oh, I definitely want.”
The song changes to Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran and Kate sighs “I absolutely love this song; it encompasses everything love should be. Love isn’t just about the good times, it’s about taking care of the one you love during the bad times as well.”
“This song reminds me of us,” I tell her, placing a kiss on her forehead, and she sighs again. I wish I knew what she was thinking.
“I think we need to talk about the elephant in the room,” she says after the song ends and I follow her lead to the on-deck couch. She kicks off her boots and curls her legs up underneath her, reaching for her champagne on the table.
“Admittedly, I freaked out a bit on Saturday night, but I’ll try not to now. I really think we need to discuss how sexually open you are and exactly what that means.” It’s not like I didn’t know this was coming, but it’s hard to talk to the girl you love about your ex-girlfriends and hookups.
“Look, Kate, when I said that, it was because I knew eventually we’d have to have the talk about Aimee and Julie.” She cringes when I say their names and I can’t say that I blame her; both of the men in her life have been with them. Thank God they moved and hopefully she’ll never have to meet them. That would likely be a disaster.
“The truth is probably not as bad as you think it is. I feel like such a jerk even having to talk to you about this.” I’m so frustrated and consider not telling her. It wouldn’t be lying, it would just be withholding information she doesn’t need.
“It’s okay, Daniel. I need to hear it.” Her eyes are pleading with me to tell her the truth.
“Connor was the first to be with them. They tried to get me to hook up with them for a few years but it just wasn’t my thing. I’m sure Mike told you he did the night we met, right?’
She nods.
“Okay, so they were Mike’s first experience after you and I really wish that wouldn’t have happened because I think it led him down a destructive path. But that’s his story, not mine. Anyway, one night I was staying at Connor’s and everyone was out of town. They came over and we started drinking…a lot…one thing led to another and it happened.”
Hesitantly, I ask her, “How much of this do you really want to know?”
“All of it,” she replies firmly.
Shit.
“It started slowly with them kissing each other, which I’d seen a million times before, but then they surrounded me—one on each side—and drew me into their kisses. First separately and then together, a lot of it was me watching them. I was enraptured, not exactly by what they were doing, but by how much passion they were doing it with.”
A look flitters across her face…maybe realization? “Kate? Are you okay?”
Snapping back to reality, she responds, “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, keep going.” I glance at her, unsure if I should, when she laces her fingers in mine. “Really, Daniel, I’m fine. Just keep going.”
“The whole thing was pretty surreal; they’re both very sexual and extremely sexually open. This was common for them; they had at least weekly threesomes. And well, up until you and I had sex, I’ve never seen a woman come so many times so easily. Honestly, that was more them because they know each other so well.”
Again, I pause because I want to make sure she’s okay. She seems fine so I continue. “I watched them play out a scene. They like to tie each other up and eventually they worked me into the scene. It was one of the most erotic things I’ve ever done. That night, I watched them make each other come repeatedly. I watched them seduce each other, make love to each other, and all the while I was accepted into their world. I fucked them both, made them come with my mouth, and they fucked me with their mouths. Until our foursome, it was the most erotic thing I had ever done.”
Now she looks like she’s going to be sick as her hand flies to cover the sob that escapes her.
“Enough, Kate, this isn’t good for you.”
“No, I have to hear this, Daniel. Don’t you understand? Until I know, I can’t move forward because the scenes that play out in my head are so much worse?” She’s crying now, but they’re silent tears and I battle an internal war because I know she thinks she wants to hear this, but I’m really not comfortable telling her. Why do girls always want to know the details?
Reluctantly, very reluctantly, I continue, “Before we were together, they had mentioned it was their one off-limit desire to be with both Mike and me at the same time. It was a big fantasy of theirs to watch each other having sex at the same time but yet be close enough to touch and kiss each other. At first, I was a little turned off by the idea because I had never done anything like that before. Once they clarified they had no desire to see me and Mike together that made it a little easier to swallow.
She’s still crying;
this is unbelievable.
“No more, Kate, I can’t. I’m sorry; I can’t be the one to make you cry.” Now I’m getting choked up because I’m hurting her and I never want to hurt her. I want to heal her, I want to be the one to make her whole! Fuck!
“You have to! I can’t hear it from Mike; I have to hear it from you, Daniel. I don’t…I don’t…dammit, I don’t trust him to tell me the truth and I need the truth!” Her body trembles as she screams. “You’re the only one I know who will be honest with me,” she whispers.
And if I’m not already feeling asshole enough, now I have a glimmer of excitement that she still doesn’t trust him.
“Fine, but I’m going to bullet point it. They like to be tied up and they like to be spanked. In the foursome, they tied us each up, but not at the same time. One of us got to watch as they tied the other up. One of them would ride us and the other would ride our face. We’re guys, Kate, and it was fucking hot. That was basically it; we took a lot of turns, they sucked us off, we came, and they came. There were three emotions that came with it: erotic, excited, and turned on. Do I regret it? Absolutely not, and I’m sorry if that hurts you, but I try to live my life with no regrets.”
Her knees are now pulled into her chest and she’s rocking back and forth, absorbing all of what I just told her. I pull her into my lap and lean my head against hers.
“You wanted the truth, so let me finish telling you the truth. That was their thing; it’s what made their relationship special to them. They liked to experiment and it didn’t diminish their love for each other, but instead made it grow. Other than Mike and me, they had never once had a repeat with a man. They don’t like emotions with their outside sex. Their focus was always on each other—turning each other on, watching each other being turned on, and working that passion into their sex. They’re bi, so they like dick, but they love each other and this kind of thing fuels their love for one another. Can you understand that?”
“Sort of?” she replies, hiccupping and questioning. Since she’s only been with two men and is pretty sheltered sexually, I can see why.
“Alright, well just so you know, they’re married now and Julie’s friend donated sperm and Aimee is pregnant. They’re really happy, Kate, and I’m happy for them. Aimee told me not too long after that night that threesomes were fun and the foursome was flaming hot but it made them realize they want more out of life than random hookups. Shortly after, they decided to expand their vibrator collection, move closer to family, and get married.”
I see the beginning of a smile on her face and I don’t know if it’s because they’re gone or because she’s happy for them, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a combination of both.
“Now, here’s the most honest thing I could ever tell you; are you ready to hear it?” She nods and I tilt her chin up to face me. “No, I need to hear you say it because I need to know you hear the words that are going to come out of my mouth next.”
“Yes, I’m ready,” she says with a shaky voice.
“Kate, I’m sexually open to new experiences and new ideas; that’s obviously a given with my history. Never in my life has a woman turned me on more than you do. Not ever. Never has someone made my heart skip a beat. Never before has a girl wrapped me around her finger so tightly without me trying to get away. Instead, I’m hanging on for dear life. Not in my entire life has a girl made me feel passion from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, not ever. I’ve never been with a girl that made me feel the electricity between us with a simple touch. I’ve never made love, fucked, or had sexual relations with anyone where my body felt connected with theirs from the inside out…until you.”
A surprised gasp escapes her lips and I lean closer, placing feather light kisses on her earlobe as she shivers in pleasure.
“I’ve never met a girl who trembles for me the way you do, who comes for me the way you do, or who calls my name out when they come the way you do. More importantly, Kate, I’ve never wanted to lay claim to anyone the way I need to lay claim to you. I need you to be mine, baby, as much as I need the air to breathe, water to drink, and food to nourish my soul. None of those things will help me if you’re not in my life making me thrive.”
Tentatively, I begin kissing my way across her jaw and hover just a whisper away from her lips and then pause. “All of that stuff was erotic and hot, but it was also before you. Anything before I was with you pales in comparison; they were just shadows but you are my light. I know we’ve got a long way to go, but trust me, baby, I’m in this for the long haul. We have the once in a lifetime love people look for their entire lives right at our fingertips. It’s within our grasp, and when we finally reach out and take it, our lives are going to be better than they’ve ever been. I can’t wait for the day I get my ring back on your finger, but I hope that when you finally do put it back on you’re ready to marry me, Kate, because I don’t ever want to go through this again.”
Her lips are parted, her breathing escalates, and I’m done talking. Before my lips are fully on hers, she opens her mouth to me and I take what’s mine, relentlessly. At first it’s a dueling of tongues, biting of lips, and grasping on to each other with all we have. Then I slow it down, making love to her senses by caressing her gently as my tongue slowly and tentatively meets hers. As much as I want her to feel the passion we share, I want her to know the love even more.
Taking control, she straddles my lap, places a hand on each of my cheeks, and pulls me in for a passionate kiss. My hands immediately move to her hips as she moves up and down against my painfully hard cock. A pained sounding moan escapes her but I’m not offended. I know that sound; it’s the sound of wanting something you can’t have and it’s exactly how I feel right now.
After another long, slow, and torturous kiss, she pulls back and rests her head against mine. “Don’t ever doubt that I love you, Daniel. No matter what may happen, just know that I. LOVE. YOU.” She emphasizes each word with a kiss. There’s nothing more I want to do than to take her to my room and make love to her, but I know that would be the wrong choice for both of us.
“I love you, too ,Kate, never forget that. Come on, let’s go inside. I have something for you.” The dinner plates have been removed and in their place are a dozen cupcakes—chocolate, coconut and s’mores—all from Sprinkles.
“Cupcakes! You remembered!” she exclaims excitedly, flashing me a dazzling smile.
“Of course I did,” I tell her, wrapping my arms around her waist. “I remember everything, Kate, or at least I try when it comes to you.”
“I’ve noticed, and that’s one of my favorite things about you.”
“Well, this is probably going to be one of your not-so-favorite things. I told myself I would never ask but I have to know. Did you have sex with Mike?”
I really don’t want to know this answer.
As she licks the frosting off of her cupcake, she contemplates her answer. Before she replies, I lean over and lick the frosting off her lips, just like I did on her birthday. Putting her cupcake back on the plate, she pulls me in for another kiss but pulls away too quickly for my liking.
“Mike said you guys discussed the possibility of things happening,” she says without making eye contact and my heart plummets.
“We did, and I know there’s a real chance, but I want to earn your heart, Kate, not fuck it into submission. I don’t think we should have sex while getting to know each other, but you tell me your thoughts on the subject. After you tell me if you slept with Mike,” I say firmly.
“Mike and I kissed and we did get swept up in the moment…things happened…but we didn’t have sex. When I made my decision to date you both, I made a choice to not have sex with either of you and Mike knows that. I don’t feel bad about what happened between us because let’s be real here, we’ve done way more in the past. But I’m not going to be that girl—I feel bad enough dating best friends, loving best friends, I’m not going to sleep with you both, too. Making out with you guys is hard enough.
” She’s pouting and I laugh at the way it came out. She catches on quickly and corrects herself.
“Okay it’s not a hardship by any means; it’s actually quite easy to lose myself in either one of you. It’s hard because I still feel like a whore and I’ve never been the girl to bounce between friends. That part of this is what I hate the most.”
“Hey now, stop that. You’re not a whore and the only opinions that matter are the three of ours. You’ve got to let that go, sweetheart; don’t let that negativity consume your soul. Are you ready to go yet? We can stay here tonight if you want to…the choice is yours.”
We docked a few minutes ago and it’s getting late. I know she doesn’t have class tomorrow but I have to go to work.
“If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to go home. I’ve spent way too many nights away and I’m really trying to work things out with Jess.”
“Sure, I understand. Just wait here for a minute, I’ll be right back.”
After a quick trip to the bathroom, I take off my shirt and put on a new one. On the way back, I stop in the dining room and grab a bag of leftover lasagna and cupcakes I had the captain’s wife pack up for Kate. As I approach her from behind, she’s lost in thought, looking out at the view.
“Why did you bring me here tonight, Daniel? We could have gone any number of places, but why here?” she asks with genuine curiosity. I set down the food and the shirt and hug her from behind.
“Because I wanted to bring you someplace special to me, a place where no other women have ever been before. I thought it would be nice to have a place to create new memories after all the bad ones we’ve had lately.”
“Thank you,” she replies softly as I place a kiss on the top of her head.
“Anything for you, Kate, don’t ever doubt that. Even if things don’t work out with us, I’ll always be your friend.”
Kate fell asleep on the way home and doesn’t wake up until I’m lifting her out of the truck; she must be exhausted.
“You know you don’t have to carry me. I can walk,” she tells me with a yawn. “I know you can, but I’d like to tuck you in.” I’d love to do more than just tuck her in.
