by D. Kelly
When we walk in with the food, Chad is rubbing Vanessa’s feet and I know how good that feels; Jess used to do it for me all the time when I was pregnant. The crib is done and the changing table is almost done and the dresser came as one piece. Even I’m getting excited about Lucas’s arrival and he’s not even mine.
You’d be a great step-mom, Kate.
Daniel’s words come back to me and I try to shake them off. I’ve never thought about being a step-parent. I guess I’m not opposed; I’ve just always thought I’d never be in a situation where that would be a possibility.
Once we’re all sitting cross-legged on the floor, plates piled high with food, Daniel starts firing off twenty questions to Chad and he sounds like a jealous boyfriend. I have to say it does not sit well with me.
“So, Chad, what do you do for a living?”
Fair enough question.
“I’m still in school. I’m pre-med and I do volunteer hours at the free clinic.”
“How do you afford everything?”
Uh-uh, he’s getting snippy.
“My parents saved for years for my college but I got a full ride. They ended up giving me all the money so I wouldn’t have to work and go to school.” Chad’s starting to get defensive; you can hear it in his tone.
“That’s cool, man. Glad it worked out for you.”
Ahh, Mike’s way of trying to diffuse the situation, too bad it’s not working.
“Do you have enough money to raise a family? Will you even be able to give them attention? Pre-med is a time sucking major.”
Oh my God, I can’t believe he just said that.
“Daniel, that’s enough!”
This is so not good. He’s not supposed to rile up the pregnant one.
“Calm down, baby. It’s okay, I’ve got this under control…” Chad’s trying to stay calm but there’s unmistakable anger in his eyes. Daniel, on the other hand, keeps digging himself into a steaming hot pile of shit.
“I mean, do you even love her? You were engaged all of five minutes ago and now suddenly you’re back? How does that even work?”
And now they’re up and in each other’s faces.
Mike tries to pull them apart and I scoot behind Vanessa and start rubbing her shoulders. “Breathe,” I tell her. “Just breathe. This is nothing; don’t let it stress you out at all. They’re just being men.” She nods but I can feel the tension in her shoulders.
“Look, Daniel, until we know if you’re the baby’s father, this really isn’t any of your business. However, since I don’t want to stress Vanessa out any more because it’s really not good for her or the baby, I’ll answer your questions. My family isn’t poor, so even if I run out of money I can get more. They love Vanessa and are fully supportive of us getting back together. Jesus, we were high school sweethearts, of course I love her. When we moved here, I needed space. I questioned everything I knew was right because I didn’t want to make a mistake and marry her right out of high school.”
Chad takes a deep breath and clenches and unclenches his fists.
“Leaving her was the stupidest thing I could have ever done besides getting engaged to someone else. Do you have any idea how bad it feels to know that I’m not this baby’s father? You have no clue because both of you are just wishing it isn’t you!”
I know exactly how he feels.
“I’ll give them all the time I possibly can. I’m going to be there every single step of the way, happily too, I might add. Vanessa wasn’t herself when we moved here. She changed… we both did…and now we’ve grown from our mistakes. I’ve realized I can’t live without her, that my life is better when she’s in it. Kate has given her the confidence she’s lacked for so long in just a few short weeks. She’s going to make her life better for her and the baby and she doesn’t need any of us to do it. I’m just glad she gave me a second chance so I can show her how much I love them both.”
An uncomfortable silence falls over the room until Chad asks a question of his own.
“My question to you is, why do you even care, Daniel? You broke up with her and wanted nothing to do with her. This line of questioning makes me think you’ve got more feelings for her than you’re letting on. If you do, now would probably be a good time to let all of us know about them.”
Damn straight it would be.
Mike seems curious to know that answer, too…
“Because I’m human? Yes, I thought Vanessa was out of my life but she’s not, and you’re right, she has changed. No offense, Vanessa, but you’re a much better person now than you were before. I’m enjoying getting to know you and I’m concerned for you and your child. Father or not, I still consider you my friend. One thing you should know about me, Chad, is that I look out for my friends.”
He’s pissed and that just doesn’t sit well with me, and that tells me two things. One, I need to cut back on how much I see him so I don’t continue to get attached. Secondly, I’m already attached to them both so I’m royally screwed, anyway. I’ve had enough.
“Enough already! This isn’t good for the baby. I’ve had to watch the two of you,” I say, waiving my fingers between Daniel and Mike, “in a continuous pissing match for weeks and I’ll be damned if we’re going to have a pissing match threesome up in here. NO more ménages allowed in any form. Now since everyone is done with dinner, I think it’s time to say goodnight. This works much better when you’re all on separate shifts.”
Vanessa pulls my hands and wraps them around her belly so I can feel Lucas kick. “Thanks, Kate. You can tell he’s a boy; he gets active when there’s rough housing,” she says, giggling. This could be my little girl’s brother in there and I’m suddenly overcome with nothing but absolute love and adoration for this baby.
“Chad, can you help move Vanessa’s necessities downstairs, please? She should not be making this trip up and down the stairs more than once a day until the baby comes.”
He looks grateful for the reprieve from the tension. “Sure, Kate, I’m on it.” Mike seems happy but Daniels looks confused. He probably is after what he did.
“You guys should just go home and get some sleep. I think you’re done here for the night. Thanks for coming by to help.”
Mike leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek, Vanessa, too, and leaves. Daniel stays behind.
“Kate do you think we can talk?” He still doesn’t seem himself but I don’t care; I’m over it for tonight. “Not tonight, Daniel, I’m tired and still have homework to do. I’ll just see you Tuesday, okay?”
I can tell he’s not happy but he reluctantly agrees. “Okay, see you tomorrow, Vanessa.” I think this might be the first time I’ve ever seen him leave a room with his head hanging down. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.
“You do realize that was his possessive side coming out in all its glory and has nothing to do with his feelings for me, don’t you?”
“I don’t know,” I tell her as I continue to rub her belly, feeling more connected to this baby every second that I do. “Maybe, but I think I need to step back a bit from both of them and keep things a little more casual for the time being.”
“Can I ask you something without offending you?” she asks hesitantly.
“Ask away.”
“Does you not making a decision fully ride on who the father of this baby is or is it because you’re not ready to admit to yourself who you want to be with? Because if it’s still about you wanting the father and me to have a chance, that’s not going to happen. But if it’s about you not wanting to accept someone else’s kid in your life…well, I totally get that.”
“Aw, sweetie, it has nothing to do with that. At first, I wasn’t sure if I could be a step-mom but Lucas is Lila’s brother or cousin and that makes him family. I love him already, even more just sitting here feeling him kick. Sometimes I think the easiest choice is just to not choose between them. I’m still trying to figure out what my heart wants over what my mind says is right. Then if I finally do listen to my heart, I’ll h
ave to break one of theirs. There will never be a time when I’m ready to do that. I’m just postponing the inevitable, I get that completely, but sometimes living in denial is the only option.”
“I’m sorry you’re going through this, Kate. For months I hoped to have a chance with them both. I don’t know why it was so important to me. I guess I was seeking an outlet since I couldn’t have the man I really wanted. It’s one thing to want them and them not want you. I think that’s a lot easier to deal with than trying to choose between them. I never loved either of them, not like I love Chad, so my heart was never at risk. Whichever one of them you don’t choose isn’t the only one that’s going to be brokenhearted. You love them both; your heart is going to shatter right along with them, unfortunately.” Those might be the wisest words anyone has said to me yet and it’s true—I’m avoiding my own heartbreak as well.
“Hey, baby, are you ready for me to help you get ready for bed?” Chad asks her sweetly from the doorway. “Well, actually, maybe I should help you off the floor, first. I don’t know why pregnant girls always think it’s more comfortable to sit on the floor when you can’t even get up,” he says, laughing.
“It just is more comfortable down here for whatever reason.” After I scooch out from behind her, Chad helps her up. He’s so adorable with her.
“You’re really okay with all of this, aren’t you?” I ask him, genuinely curious.
“Babies are a gift from God, Kate. They come to us in the way they were meant to, when they’re meant to. Sure, I wish he was mine but he will be in lots of ways, just like he may be yours, too, in lots of ways. Blood doesn’t make a parent, only unconditional love does that.”
“If you ever get tired of this one, you send him my way and I’ll give you the other two back,” I tell her over my shoulder as I leave.
“Thanks, but no thanks. That’s your mess to deal with. I’ll keep this one right here all to myself.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KATE
As it turned out, keeping Daniel at arm’s length wasn’t much of an issue. It’s been almost two weeks since that night at Vanessa’s house, and between Mike and Daniel’s project and my upcoming mid-terms, we haven’t seen each other at all. Mike and I have managed to grab a few quick lunches but not much more. I feel like the two of us are falling back into a routine and I’ve never been happier.
Daniel sent me flowers today with an apology note asking me out on a date tonight. We need to talk, but tonight is Marc’s party.
“Why do you look like someone just pissed in your Captain Crunch?” Connor always has such a nice way of putting things.
“I don’t.”
“Um, yeah you do, and if those flowers are yours I’m thinking you should be going for the opposite kind of look. You know, one that says ‘I’m happy’?” Smartass. “They’re from Daniel, I haven’t seen him in a few weeks and he wants to go out tonight but I’ve got Marc’s party.”
“Okay…well, didn’t Marc say you could invite him?”
“He did.” The perplexed look that crosses his face is almost comical. “Well then, I don’t see what the problem is. Just invite him to come out with us.”
“It’s not that simple. Aside from a few basic text messages, we haven’t seen or talked to each other since that weird night at Vanessa’s. I think we both needed space but now we need to talk, and clubbing isn’t talking.”
“Talking is overrated sometimes,” he says with a beautiful smile. “Come on, Kate, I thought you were going to loosen up and see where the road takes you? It seems to me the signs are telling you to take Daniel with us to the club tonight.”
“I don’t know…”
Connor sits next to me and pulls me close. “Stop over thinking it. One night out isn’t going to make or break you guys. Get your frustrations out while you dance and build up your sexual frustrations instead.”
Laughing, I push away from him. “That is not going to help! The last thing I need is to be sexually frustrated around him.”
“No, the last thing you need is to make this any more complicated than it is. You can’t be friends or lovers if you can’t even hang out. You’re supposed to be getting to know him again, remember? So what if he got a little jealous over Chad? His heart is with you even though some of his feelings are a little mixed up right now. You should understand that more than anyone right now since you’re dating two men at once.”
I hate it when he’s right.
“You’re right; I’ll go over there and ask him if he wants to come meet us at the club after I get ready. He’s got the early shift with Vanessa today; it seems to be working out well for them splitting Saturday with her now that Chad has taken over the Friday and Sunday shifts.”
“Well, I’d be happy, too, if I had to spend less time with Vanessbitch.”
“Connor…” I scold him gently.“I know, I know, she’s a changed woman. Blah, blah, blah. I’ll believe that when the DNA test comes back and actually shows she’s not lying. Even so, the fact she’s even in this situation says it all.”
“I don’t know, I can kind of relate. The way she went about it wasn’t right, but come on, look at me right now. If I started having sex with them I could easily be her. No birth control is one hundred percent. This is just as much their fault as it is hers. Well…not Mike, he was sort of innocent in it all. But you know what I mean.”
“Kate, I’m ready for you,” Jess calls down from upstairs. Good timing, too. From the look on Connor’s face he was probably going to tell me all about how this is not even the same.
“I love you, Connor,” I tell him sweetly as I pop a quick kiss on his cheek.
“I love you, too, Kate, now go get all sexied up for your man.”
After slapping him on the shoulder I feel better. “He’s not my man”
“Oh yeah, I forgot; he’s just one of your men.”
Sarcastic asshole.
“You’re an ass, Connor,” I call out behind me as I go up the stairs.
“Maybe, but you love this ass!” he yells up after me. God, he cracks me up.
“Shower fast, Kate, we don’t have a ton of time to get you ready and I need to take my time with you.”
“Got it, but you’re going to have to speed it up a bit. I’m going to go next door and see if Daniel wants to come with us.”
“Connor got his way after all?”
“Doesn’t he always?” I ask her, stepping into the shower.
“Yep, he sure does. There’s this thing he likes to do with his tongue, oh my god. At first I was creeped out, but…”
Oh no. TMI.
“Stop, Jess, I don’t want to have that image in my head. I get it, he rocks your world. Let’s just leave it at that, okay?”
She’s cracking up. “You guys are too much. You’d think you’re actually related. He can’t stand to hear anything to do with you and sex, especially if it’s gumdrop related, and you can’t listen about him, either.”
“Yeah, well, some things are just better left unheard,” I tell her, stepping out of the shower. “Even if he seems to think my orgasms sound hot,” I say with a pointed tone and she at least has the decency to blush, but it’s fleeting.
“Whatever, just hurry up and put this on. We’ve got work to do, woman!” She rolls her eyes and thrusts a skimpy black dress at me.
“This? You want me to wear this? It barely covers my ass on a good day.”
“I know,” she replies, smirking at me. “That’s why you’re wearing it. Daniel isn’t going to be able to keep his hands off of you.”
“Tonight isn’t about that,” I tell her as she zips me up.
“Maybe not, but it can’t hurt to show him what he’s missing. He screwed up not talking to you the past few weeks. Let him regret it a bit, and while you’re at it you’ll be humoring me. Dress and black six-inch Louboutins—we’ll be picking guys off of you all night.”
Great.
There’s no point in arguing; the easiest thing to do is j
ust give in.
“Too bad Mike won’t see you in that dress. He’d go super-hot alpha over it.”
Thinking about Mike’s reaction, I have to squeeze my thighs together a bit. Either one of them would have plenty of ways in their heads to get me out of this dress.
“Earth to Kate! Jesus, woman, you’re in la la land tonight. Sit so we can turn you into a vixen and get out of here. Marc will be here in about thirty minutes, which doesn’t give me much time at all.”
This is nice; things are almost normal between us right now and it feels good. Jess is chatty as usual while she does her thing. When she finishes, I almost don’t recognize myself. She is a master with a brush. Instead of going into nursing she should be a make-up artist to the stars; she’s got a real gift.
Connor whistles from behind us, “Hot damn, you two look gorgeous! I hate to break up the party but Marc and the limo are waiting outside.”
Shit.
“I’ve still got to go talk to Daniel.” I grab my shoes and hand Jess my clutch.
“Take this to the limo and I’ll meet you guys there in a few minutes.”
After running down the stairs, I stop long enough to put my shoes on. Marc is standing outside the limo and damn he looks good. Dark jeans, black button up shirt, sexy-ass look on his face. Some girl is going to get very lucky tonight.
“Damn, baby girl, you look hot! Hurry up and go get your man before I keep you all to myself.” I think he’s joking, but when I look back over my shoulder he’s watching my ass walk away with a very intense look on his face.
Pausing outside for a minute after knocking on the door, I smooth my dress down. When no one answers, I let myself in. I hear Vanessa laughing upstairs so I quickly pull off my shoes and head up. What I hear next stops me in my tracks right outside the nursery door.
“Have you told her yet?” Vanessa asks him breathlessly.
Too breathlessly.
