by Abby Klein
I turned the sprayer so the water would shoot right into my mom’s face, as soon as she turned on the water.
As long as I was down in the kitchen, I decided to have a little midnight snack. I had missed out on dessert since I had to give mine to Suzie because of our deal, so I would have some ice cream now. I didn’t want to put it in a bowl because my mom would see the dirty dish in the sink in the morning, so I grabbed a spoon and ate it right out of the container. It was delicious! My dad was right. I could eat this stuff for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
I licked off my spoon and put it back in the silverware drawer. I grabbed my flashlight and tiptoed back to the stairs. I turned off my light and quietly went back upstairs, making sure once again to skip the creaky step.
“Now for secret mission number two,” I whispered to myself.
I first went back into my room to get the red washable marker I had hidden in my underwear drawer. I had to make sure I opened the drawer really slowly, so it wouldn’t make a sound.
I felt around with my hands in the dark and found the marker underneath a pile of underwear. I pulled it out and crept over to my door and back out into the hallway. The house was still silent.
I went into Suzie’s room. This mission would be a little trickier. I couldn’t use the flashlight because the light would wake up Suzie for sure, and I would be in so much trouble if she woke up while I was writing on her face!
I got down on my hands and knees and crawled over to her bed. Suzie was sleeping on her side.
I stood up quietly and leaned over the bed. I was about to start drawing on her face when Suzie snorted and rolled over. I thought she was going to wake up, so I ducked underneath her bed and held my breath.
I waited under the bed for a minute, but she didn’t wake up. She just started snoring really loudly. I had to cover my mouth so I wouldn’t laugh out loud!
I crawled out from underneath the bed. It’s now or never, I thought to myself.
I bent down and started making red dots all over her face as quickly as I could. Luckily, Suzie sleeps with a night-light, so I could kind of see what I was doing.
As soon as I finished the last dot, I crawled back out of her room, dashed into my room, and threw the pen back into my underwear drawer. Then I jumped into bed.
Phew! Mission accomplished, I thought to myself. Tomorrow is going to be so great! I don’t even need an alarm clock. I will wake up to the screams of my mom and sister.
I pulled up my covers and smiled to myself. But the best part will be watching Max Sellars, the biggest bully in the whole second grade, eat an Oreo full of toothpaste!
“AAAAAAHHHHH!!”
Suzie’s scream woke me up at exactly 6:30 A.M. I smiled to myself.
My parents came running out of their bedroom. “Suzie, are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“Look at my face!” she screamed. “I have red marks all over my face!”
I ran into the bathroom to join them. “What’s going on?” I asked. “What’s all the screaming about?”
“Suzie has red marks all over her face,” said my dad.
“You do?” I said, pretending not to know what they were all taking about.
“Yes! See for yourself,” Suzie said, turning to look at me.
“Yikes!” I said. “That looks pretty bad.”
“Thanks a lot,” said Suzie.
“What do you think it is, Mom?” I asked.
“I’m not sure.”
“Do you think it could be chicken pox?” I said.
“What did you just say?” Suzie shouted. “Chicken pox?”
“Yeah. I’ve never had them, but it looks like chicken pox to me.”
“No! No! It can’t be chicken pox! I have my big dance recital coming up next week,” said Suzie.
“Calm down, Suzie,” said my mom.
“Calm down? Calm down? I have chicken pox, and you want me to calm down?”
I had to turn around and hide my face because I was about to burst out laughing. This April Fools’ Day prank was turning out even better than I expected.
“Maybe it’s not chicken pox,” said my dad. “After all, Freddy isn’t a doctor.”
“That’s true,” said my mom. “Maybe it’s just a rash from something you ate last night.”
“I didn’t eat anything different last night,” said Suzie.
“Maybe you got a rash because you ate too much ice cream,” I said. “Remember, you had two helpings, yours and mine.”
Suzie glared at me. “I didn’t get a rash from eating too much ice cream.”
“Why don’t you try washing your face?” I suggested.
“That’s a stupid suggestion,” said Suzie. “Rashes don’t wash off.”
“Well, at least rinse your face with a cold washcloth,” said my mom. “That might stop the itching.”
“Is it itchy?” asked my dad.
“Yes!” Suzie said, scratching her face.
This was hilarious! Suzie was scratching at red dots made by a marker!
“Here’s a washcloth, honey,” said my mom. “Just run it under cold water and rub it on your face.”
Suzie rinsed the washcloth in the sink and started to wipe down her face.
“Make sure you rub it over your whole face,” my mom said.
Suzie gently wiped her face for a few seconds while my parents stared at her.
“Wait a minute,” said my mom. “Why is the washcloth turning red?”
“What?” said Suzie.
My mom grabbed the washcloth from her. “Look! The washcloth is turning red.”
“That’s weird,” said my dad.
“Suzie, turn toward me,” said my mom. “I want to see something.”
My mom took the washcloth and rubbed it on Suzie’s face a little bit harder. “The marks are coming off!”
“What do you mean, the marks are coming off?” asked my dad.
“I mean that they are washing right off!” said my mom. “This isn’t a rash. This looks like red washable marker.”
Just then everyone turned to look at me.
I smiled a big, wide smile. “April Fools’!” I yelled. “Gotcha!” Then I started laughing hysterically.
“It is so not funny!” Suzie yelled. “Why you little —”
“Oh, come on, Suzie,” said my dad. “Where’s your sense of humor? I think that was a pretty good trick your brother played on you, and it was perfectly harmless. Look! It washed right off.”
“Well, it’s getting late. I need to go downstairs and start breakfast,” said my mom. “You two, get dressed and come down to eat.”
My mom disappeared down the stairs, and I went back into my bedroom. I waited about one minute, and then I heard it — the second scream.
“AAAAAAHHHHH!”
Once again, I smiled to myself.
My mom came stomping up the stairs with her hair and face dripping wet.
“What happened to you?” my dad asked, trying not to laugh.
“I went to turn on the water in the kitchen sink, but someone put a rubber band around the sprayer button, so the water shot out right into my face.”
“Hmmmm,” said my dad, turning to look at me, “I wonder who that ‘someone’ could be?”
“Happy April Fools’ Day, Mom! Now, smile for the camera and say cheese,” I said as I took a picture of her with her cell phone. “I promised Kasey and Kelly that I would send them a picture.”
“So this was all their idea?” said my mom. “I should have known!”
“Was writing on my face their idea, too?” asked Suzie.
“Yep.” I nodded.
“Those two are such little tricksters,” said my dad.
“I know. They are so crazy. They always have the best ideas!” I said.
“And they’re always getting into trouble,” said my mom. “That’s why we call them Double Trouble!”
“Look on the bright side, Mom. At least you won’t have to take a shower this morning,” I said,
“since you already took one in the kitchen sink.”
“Very funny!” said my mom. “Why don’t you go downstairs and clean the water up off the floor while I change into some dry clothes.”
“Sure thing, Mom!” I said, bounding down the stairs two at a time.
I went into the kitchen and grabbed some dish towels to soak up the huge puddle of water on the floor. Wow! I thought to myself as I mopped up the floor. She really got soaked!
Just then my dad walked into the kitchen. “Should I be worried, Freddy?” he said, laughing. “Do you have anything planned for me?”
“Not this year, Dad,” I said. “Maybe next year.”
“You’d better be careful at school today. You never know who might play a trick on you.”
I grinned. “You’re right, Dad. You never know what might happen!”
“Nice outfit,” Josh said as I got on the bus.
“Same to you,” I said, laughing. “Is your underwear on backwards?”
Josh nodded. “Yep. How about you? Did you turn your tighty-whities around?”
“Yes, I did! I have everything on backwards, just like Miss Clark said.”
“So do you have it?” Josh whispered to me.
I patted my pocket and smiled. “Yep. I got it right in here.”
“Be careful,” Josh said. “You don’t want to smash it.”
“Don’t worry. I’m taking really good care of it.”
“This is going to be awesome,” said Josh.
“I know. I can’t wait,” I said. “Max is always playing tricks on other people. Now it’s finally time for him to be tricked.”
“So when it’s snack time, are you going to give him the cookie, or do you want me to?” asked Josh.
“I think you’d better do it,” I said. “Max scares me.”
“He scares you because you let him scare you,” said Josh. “You’ve got to stop being so afraid of him all the time.”
“I know, I know,” I said. “You’re right, but today I still want you to give him the cookie.”
Josh laughed. “Okay, no problem. Why don’t you give the cookie to me so I can put it in my pocket.”
We made sure no one was looking, and then I quickly passed the cookie to Josh. He hid it in his pocket.
“Max is going to be so surprised,” Josh said, laughing.
The bus pulled up to school, and we hopped out.
When we reached the classroom, Josh said, “Oh no! Freddy, look!”
“What?”
“It looks like we have a substitute today.” The person standing at the front of the room had black hair. Miss Clark has blond hair.
Chloe, Max, and Jessie walked in. They were all wearing their clothes backwards.
“Look, Jessie,” I said. “We have a substitute.”
“Good!” said Chloe.
“Good? Why is that good?” asked Jessie.
“Because now Max has to be on his best behavior.”
“Says who?” said Max.
“Miss Clark always tells us to be on our best behavior when she’s not here,” said Chloe. “Now Max can’t play any tricks on me.”
“It’s a bummer Miss Clark isn’t here,” I said. “She told us that April Fools’ Day was one of her favorite holidays. Too bad she’s missing it.”
“Yes, that is too bad,” said the person at the front of the room.
“Wait a minute,” said Josh. “That person sounds just like Miss Clark. Doesn’t she, Freddy?”
“Yes!” I said. “Exactly like her. Maybe she has a twin sister.”
Just then the person turned around. “April Fools’,” said Miss Clark as she took off a black wig. “It’s really me. I was just wearing this wig.”
“That was a good one, Miss Clark,” said Josh. “You had us fooled!”
“You sure did,” said Jessie.
“See, Chloe?” said Max. “Miss Clark really is here.”
Chloe ignored him and went to put her stuff in her cubby.
Max walked over to her.
“Get away from me!” Chloe yelled.
“Fine,” said Max. “I just thought you might want to know that you have a spider on your back.”
“What?” said Chloe. “A spider?”
“Yes, a big black one,” said Max.
“Help! Help!” Chloe screamed as she ran around in circles. “Someone get it off! Someone get the spider off me!”
“Come over here, Chloe,” said Miss Clark. “Let me see.”
Chloe ran over to her and was jumping around like a monkey, waving her arms and screaming. “Get it off! Get it off!”
“Stop jumping around,” said Miss Clark. “I need to look at your back.”
Chloe stopped jumping.
“I don’t see anything,” said Miss Clark.
“It’s on my back, and it’s big and black. Max said so.”
“Oh, Max said so,” said Miss Clark. “Really?”
“Yes!” said Chloe. “Get it off! I hate spiders!”
Miss Clark looked at Max. He was laughing hysterically. “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”
“What’s so funny?” said Chloe.
“I think you’ve been tricked,” said Miss Clark.
“What?” said Chloe.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!” Max continued laughing. “April Fools’! There is no spider on your back.”
“OOOOOOOO!” Chloe growled. “You are such a big meanie, Max Sellars.”
“You were jumping around like a monkey,” said Max. “It was so funny.”
“Well, I didn’t think it was very funny,” said Chloe. “You’d better watch it, Max,” said Chloe. “You never know when someone might do something to you.”
“Yeah. Right,” said Max. “No one’s going to play any tricks on me.”
Josh and I looked at each other and smiled.
After we put our things away, we started on our morning work, but all I could think about was snack time. It seemed like the day was taking forever.
“I made a special treat for you all for snack time today,” said Miss Clark.
“Really?” said Jessie. “That was so nice of you!”
“What is it?” asked Josh.
“Brownies,” said Miss Clark.
“Brownies,” said Max. “I love brownies!”
“Oh, I’m so glad,” said Miss Clark, “because I baked them myself. If you all sit down, I will give you each one.”
We sat down, she took the cover off the container, and started passing out the brownies.
“Wait! What’s this?” said Max, holding up a brown piece of paper in the shape of the letter E.
“It’s your ‘brown E,’” said Miss Clark laughing. “Gotcha again!”
“Good one, Miss Clark,” said Jessie. “You really are good at April Fools’ Day pranks.”
“Bummer! I really wanted a brownie,” said Max, pouting.
“I don’t have a brownie,” said Josh, “but I have your favorite cookie. Do you want one?”
“Yes. Say yes,” I whispered to myself.
“You have Oreos?” said Max. “I don’t have any because I finished the box yesterday. My mom has to go buy some more.”
“I’m happy to share one with you,” said Josh. “Here you go,” and he handed Max the Oreo.
I held my breath.
Max took a big bite.
I waited.
The next thing I knew, chewed up pieces of cookie came flying out of Max’s mouth and sprayed all over his desk. “Ewww! Ewww! Ewwww!” he yelled as he coughed and spit some more.
“April Fools’ Day, Max,” said Josh. “Gotcha!”
Max glared at Josh, and the rest of us laughed so hard we thought we would pee in our pants!
Josh gave me a high five. “Happy April Fools’ Day, Freddy!”
“Happy April Fools’, Josh!”
1. Put sugar in the salt shaker, so when someone picks it up to put salt on his eggs, the eggs taste sweet.
2. Put some green food colorin
g in the bottom of a cereal bowl and cover it with cereal, so when someone pours milk in the bowl, it turns green.
3. Shake a can of soda before you hand it to someone to drink. When she opens it, the soda will explode in her face.
4. Put a gummy worm in someone’s sandwich, so when he bites into it, he’ll think he’s eating a real worm.
5. Put a blown-up balloon in the toilet and close the lid. When someone opens the lid to go to the bathroom, the balloon will float out.
6. Draw on someone’s face while he is sleeping (using washable markers, of course!).
7. Take the filling out of an Oreo and replace it with toothpaste. Then put the cookie back together and give it to a friend.
8. When someone asks for a glass of water, squeeze some lemon juice into the glass before giving it to her.
9. Stuff some toilet paper in the toes of someone’s shoes, so when she tries to put them on, they don’t fit.
10. Poke some small holes in the bottom of a plastic cup, so when someone uses the cup, the drink will drip on his lap.
Remember, pranks shouldn’t be too mean—be creative, but don’t let anyone get hurt (or hurt feelings).
Happy April Fools’!
ABBY KLEIN has been a first-grade and kindergarten teacher for twenty years. She and her husband and two children live in Vermont. They have four dogs.
JOHN McKINLEY has been drawing all his life. For the Ready, Freddy! books, he hides the word “fin” in every picture. He and his family live in Northern California.
#1: Tooth Trouble
#2: The King of Show-and-Tell
#3: Homework Hassles
#4: Don’t Sit on My Lunch!
#5: Talent Show Scaredy-Pants
#6: Help! A Vampire’s Coming!
#7: Yikes! Bikes!
#8: Halloween Fraidy-Cat
#9: Shark Tooth Tale
#10: Super-Secret Valentine
#11: The Pumpkin Elf Mystery
#12: Stop That Hamster!
#13: The One Hundredth Day of School!
#14: Camping Catastrophe!
#15: Thanksgiving Turkey Trouble
