by Pearl Love
“I’m dying to try out that new blitz pattern Coach has been running us through.” Jeff smashed a fist against his palm with a vicious grin before a look of confusion took over his face. “Uh, who are we playing again?”
“Oh my God, Jeff.” Nicole rolled her eyes toward the heavens as though asking for divine assistance with her dumb-as-a-rock boyfriend. The birthday girl looked regal in a red, floor-length dress that only emphasized her impressive stature. She was a center on the girls’ basketball team and in heels was taller than her boyfriend. “You know very well that we’re playing River Vista.”
“We’d better be,” Shaunteé said with a smirk. “Otherwise we’re going to have to redo all of our signs.” She’d volunteered to be vice-chair of the Homecoming Committee. Tyrell wondered when she found time to do her schoolwork, though he knew she was a solid B-plus student.
“River Vista,” Ryan said absently. “Why does that sound so familiar?”
“Duh, it’s only one of the biggest high schools in the city.” The squad member who chastised Ryan stared at him like he was a moron.
“Nah,” Ryan said, ignoring the taunt. “Oh wait!” He snapped his fingers and turned to look at Tyrell. “Didn’t Jeremy say that’s where he transferred from?”
Tyrell flinched. Several of the guys standing around had been part of the crew who’d been tormenting Jeremy, and he wished Ryan hadn’t brought him up right then.
“Yeah,” he mumbled vaguely, desperately hoping the conversation would move along to safer ground.
Fortunately, the DJ Nicole’s parents had hired chose that moment to play a slower song. Couples quickly began to pair off, and Tyrell jumped at the opportunity to dodge any further questions about Jeremy. Although he wasn’t confident about lots of things, he knew his dancing skills were solid. The dozens of church socials he’d been forced to attend over the years had seen to that. There was no better dance instructor than a sixty-year-old woman who thought you were “simply adorable!”
“Hey, Shaunteé,” Tyrell said after moving to stand next to her. “Wanna dance?”
She beamed up at him, looking quite like the cat who’d scored the canary. “Why, yes. That would be simply lovely.”
Tyrell was confused by the abrupt shift in her accent from South Side Chicago to some undefined southern state, but he accepted the hand she held out to him without comment. He pulled her into the middle of the living room, which had become the de facto dance floor. There were more people watching than dancing, but enough couples were moving around them that Tyrell wasn’t worried they stood out too much. Placing his hands on her lower back, he began to move slowly side to side.
“Wow, Tyrell, you’re really good.” She followed him easily, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders as they swayed.
He smirked. “What, you thought I’d have two left feet or something?”
Shaunteé giggled. “Even the guys on the team are pretty shit at it, and they do regular footwork drills.”
She nodded to the side, and Tyrell looked over to see Jeff dragging Nicole around in an extremely awkward attempt at slow dancing. Nicole looked both miserable and ecstatic at the same time.
Tyrell chuckled. “You can thank Mrs. Bertie for that.” He turned in time with the music, bringing her gently along with him.
Shaunteé’s laugh was as pretty and perfect as the rest of her. “Ah yes. I’ve been to my share of church dances. Unfortunately, I usually got stuck with the preadolescent boys since dancing with old men would have been too creepy.”
Tyrell experienced a moment of uncomplicated happiness when her small hands began to gently massage his shoulders. His stress about Jeremy and the rash of untimely deaths they’d discovered faded to the back of his mind. What was the harm, he mused, in just enjoying the moment and being an ordinary teenage guy for a little while? The girl he liked obviously liked him back, he had a decent group of friends, and he wasn’t failing any of his classes so far. He couldn’t ask for anything more than that. The tension he’d been carrying for the past week eased as he resolutely let go of his concerns. All of his worries would still be waiting for him after this night was over.
As though the universe was listening in, the front door opened to reveal the source of every moment of anxiety Tyrell had experienced since the school year began. Jeremy stood hesitantly in the doorway as if unsure whether he should actually come inside. A small redheaded girl appeared next to him—Tyrell recognized her as one of the flute players from band—and Jeremy glanced down at her with a tentative smile. She said something to him, and he nodded, letting her go ahead of him before squaring his shoulders and stepping into the house.
The effect of Jeremy’s presence on Tyrell was instantaneous. Music played loudly in his head, but rather than the beautiful melodies he often heard when they were in the same place, the sound was unpleasant and discordant, like the cacophony of a hundred instruments hitting the wrong notes all at the same time. A shudder went through him, one that Shaunteé apparently felt if the questioning look she sent him was any indication.
“You okay?”
Tyrell couldn’t answer. In fact, he could barely hear her over the painful dissonance ringing in his ears. Jeremy found him almost immediately, his gaze tracking unerringly toward where he and Shaunteé were dancing. Tyrell tried to hold Jeremy’s stare, telling himself that he had nothing to be ashamed of and no reason to look away. He knew it was a lie. Even so, Jeremy broke first, turning toward his date and giving Tyrell a view of his back. When Tyrell realized he was glaring at the redhead who’d arrived with Jeremy, he groaned and shut his eyes. As messed up as it might seem, he was actually jealous that Jeremy was talking to her when he wouldn’t give Tyrell the time of day.
“Fuck,” Tyrell whispered under his breath.
“What was that?” Shaunteé asked.
He spun her away in lieu of answering, deliberately maneuvering them so he couldn’t see Jeremy anymore.
JEREMY COULD see Patricia’s lips moving, but he couldn’t hear her over the noise in his head. The music wasn’t all that loud since the DJ was still playing a slow number, but he knew deep down the sound wasn’t coming from any external source. The din had begun the minute he’d seen Tyrell dancing so intimately with that girl.
“What?” he asked, bending down so his ear was closer to Patricia.
“I said, this seems like a nice party.”
“If you say so,” he mumbled, though he nodded to convey fake agreement with her observation.
Even before he’d arrived, Jeremy knew he shouldn’t have come. To his surprise, his brother, Andrew, had let him borrow his car so he didn’t have to deal with the long bus ride. He’d offered to pick Patricia up, but apparently her father was the less-than-trusting sort and had insisted on dropping her off himself. She’d been waiting for him in front of Nicole’s house while Jeremy struggled to execute the parallel parking maneuver that had given him so much trouble in driver’s ed the previous summer.
During the entire trip, Jeremy had considered simply turning his brother’s car around and going home. The only reason he’d even wanted to go was so he could have visual proof that his crush on Tyrell was doomed to go nowhere. Considering what had happened after band practice the previous Friday, he hardly needed any additional confirmation. He still couldn’t believe Tyrell had merely watched while the Jock Gang laid into him. Not that he’d really expected Tyrell to leap to his defense or anything, but he hadn’t even looked like he cared. That’s what had hurt the most. Not to mention the realization that, even in the face of Tyrell’s indifference, his stubborn feelings were still very much alive. But since he’d already promised Patricia that he’d go with her, he hadn’t seen a way to get out of attending the party.
Now that he was here, all he wanted to do was leave. The riot in his head was unbearable, and while he might have previously chalked it up to a headache, he knew that somehow Tyrell was responsible. It showed just how upset he was that he wasn’t even freaked
out by his emotions impossibly taking physical form. He shook his head in a futile attempt to clear it.
“Do you want something to munch on?” Patricia asked.
Jeremy latched on to her suggestion like a lifeline. “Yes, please. That sounds good.” He held out a hand, indicating that she should go ahead of him. They’d just reached the table when someone called out to Jeremy’s date.
“Oh my God, Patricia! I didn’t know you were coming!”
“Hi, Suzie.” Patricia stopped in front of a girl with a latte-hued complexion, hazel-green eyes, and curly black hair. “I figured I’d leave the cave of my room for one night at least.”
Jeremy waited while Patricia and Suzie laughed, but when they continued chatting, he placed his hand on Patricia’s arm to get her attention. “I’ll get us something to drink, okay?”
“Oh, sorry, Jeremy. Do you know Suzie? She’s in my homeroom.”
“No. Nice to meet you.”
Once he’d received a nod in return, Jeremy left the girls to get food while he headed to the end of the table holding various beverage options. His mother had insisted he at least wear a jacket to dress up his jeans and a T-shirt ensemble, and he moved his arms uncomfortably against the sleeves. His family wasn’t big on fancy events, and the last time he’d had to wear anything remotely formal had been Chris’s funeral.
Nicole’s parents had provided a nice spread for their daughter and her guests. Jeremy looked carefully over the selection of raw veggies and dip, deli meats and cheeses, and warmer offerings such as meatballs skewered with toothpicks. He wasn’t particularly hungry, especially since his stomach seemed determined to remind him that Tyrell was still cozied up on the dance floor with his girlfriend. He stopped in front of a large crystal punch bowl surrounded by plastic cups. Nicole’s folks obviously didn’t trust a bunch of teenagers with whichever cups matched the bowl.
The noise in his head had finally begun to subside enough that he could comfortably hear the scattering of conversations around him. He’d never been much for parties, finding it draining to be around so many new people all at once. Monica had informed him he was a textbook introvert, and once he’d read the description for himself, he’d agreed wholeheartedly. He’d much rather be at home reading, studying, or practicing, but since he was here, he might as well try to have a good time. Or as good as possible considering his heart was aching at the seemingly unbridgeable distance between him and Tyrell.
He’d made himself scarce the previous week, unable to withstand the pain of being around Tyrell more than was absolutely necessary, though he missed hanging out with everyone at lunch, chatting with Cynthia, and attempting to hold a conversation with Ryan. Band rehearsal had become an ordeal since he spent most of practice trying to forget Tyrell was only yards away. Before the incident, watching Tyrell play had become one of the highlights of his days, and he was afraid his heart would shrivel and die if he dared even look at Tyrell during practice. Jeremy grimaced as he poured the last of the three cups he was filling. He couldn’t go on this way forever. Something had to give, but he had no idea how to go about fixing the situation. Not that he was the one to blame. Anger warred with despair, and he groaned, sick of himself and determined not to give Tyrell another thought. He returned to where Patricia and Suzie were still deep in conversation.
“How do you and Jeremy know each other?” Suzie asked after he handed her a cup. She grabbed a piece of broccoli and nibbled at it without dipping it in the salad dressing that was so helpfully provided.
Jeremy made a face as he imagined the bitter taste.
“Band,” Patricia replied, raising her voice over the music. “Jeremy is an amazing clarinetist.” She claimed the cup of punch Jeremy gave her with a grateful smile.
Suzie looked up at him admiringly. “That’s awesome. I took piano lessons for years, but I suck at it. Mostly I sing. I’m in the school choir. Now that I know both you and Patricia, I’ll have to come watch one of your concerts.”
Patricia smiled. “That would be nice. Are you here by yourself?” She looked around as though she could spot Suzie’s possible companion on sight.
Suzie blushed slightly. “No. I’m here with Dave.”
“Dave Masters? Oh, wow!” Patricia goggled at Suzie, clearly impressed. “He’s so handsome!”
“I know,” Suzie replied as though simply acknowledging a universal fact.
Jeremy thought idly that he should be interested in Suzie’s apparently extremely attractive date, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was too busy keeping his gaze from straying into the forbidden territory that defined wherever Tyrell currently was. He allowed the girls’ chatter to distract him, but all too soon, Suzie was leaving to return to her date.
“I’ll see you on Monday, Patricia.”
“Have fun with Dave!” Patricia dimpled as she glanced up at Jeremy. “So, um, do you want to dance?”
Jeremy froze. He should have guessed the subject would come up as soon as he saw the couples out on the dance floor. “I hate to admit it, but I really suck at dancing.”
Patricia laughed. “That’s okay, so do I. We can be terrible together.”
She dragged him out into the crowd, and Jeremy bowed to his fate. To his relief, the tempo of the music had picked up, so at least he wouldn’t have to go through the embarrassment of slow dancing with her. He already felt bad enough for leading her into thinking they were on a genuine date and that she stood a chance with him. If he were straight, she would probably have made the perfect girlfriend, but he wasn’t, and there was nothing he could do about that.
“You lied to me, Jeremy.”
He blinked down at her in shock. Oh hell, had she figured it out? “Huh? What do you mean?”
Patricia grinned. “You’re a terrific dancer!”
Jeremy chuckled nervously, feeling weak as the tension that had gripped him drained away. “That’s nice of you to say.”
They moved about each other for a while with Jeremy concentrating on not smashing the nice open-toed sandals Patricia was wearing with his gym shoes. Maybe this would be okay, he mused. So far, the party had been nicer than most he’d been forced to attend. He hadn’t made a fool out of himself, and no one was looking at him as if he were a freak. He counted that as a win-win. Too bad he was failing spectacularly in his task of trying to pretend Tyrell didn’t exist.
It was like he had radar or something where Tyrell was concerned. Even though Jeremy was very pointedly not looking for him, he still seemed to know precisely where Tyrell was at every moment. Right then, Tyrell and his girlfriend—Shaunteé, Jeremy finally heard her called—were standing against the far wall talking with their heads far too close together for Jeremy’s peace of mind. Though if he considered his original reason for attending, he had to consider the evening a rousing success. Tyrell was as straight as straight could be, and Jeremy stood as much chance of winning his heart as Patricia did of grabbing his. So be it. At this point, they were barely acquaintances, so anything more wasn’t even worth considering.
The effort of thinking like a grown-up instead of a kid with a crush was making Jeremy thirsty. Another drink was definitely in order. He leaned down so he could speak next to Patricia’s ear.
“I’m going back for seconds. Do you want anything?”
Patricia nodded. “Another cup of punch would be nice.”
Jeremy squeezed her arm in acknowledgment and turned toward the refreshment table. She didn’t seem self-conscious about being left to dance alone, and he admired her gumption. The crowd around the table had increased, so he had to wait a bit before he reached the front of the line. There were plenty of clean disposable cups, and he grabbed two of them to fill.
“Well, well. Would you look who’s here? No use trolling for dates here, pretty boy.”
“How much do you think he charges to take it up the ass?”
“Dude, that’s sick! Well? Answer the question, faggot.”
Jeremy froze as he was abruptly surro
unded by three members of the Jock Gang. As he glanced to the side, looking for an escape route, he saw the birthday girl standing just beyond the table with her boyfriend, whom he recognized as one of his tormentors from school. They were both watching the spectacle with matching grins, clearly anticipating what was about to occur. Finally realizing what had happened, Jeremy stared down at the table, the punch bowl wavering in his vision as his eyes filled with tears of frustration. How could he have been so stupid? It was clear to him now that the invitation had been nothing more than a setup. Jeremy remembered wondering if Tyrell had played a hand in him being invited to the party and hoped to God that wasn’t the case, because if it was….
“Excuse me,” Jeremy said as he set the cups he’d picked up back on the table. He turned and attempted to extricate himself from the circle of ’roided-up assholes, but they had him neatly trapped.
“Where you going, faggot?”
Jeremy glanced in terrified exasperation at the large blond, the same one who always seemed to be the instigator. He was fortunately tall enough to see over their shoulders, and Patricia’s red hair appeared in his view like the answer to a prayer. Latching his gaze on to her like a lifeline, he spoke hastily, not caring about the lie he was so blatantly spewing.
“My girlfriend is over there.” Jeremy pointed vaguely in Patricia’s direction.
“Girlfriend?” The blond giant guffawed. “Yeah, right. Tell us another one, freak.”
So much for that. Jeremy decided on a different, more honest tact. “Look, can we just do this at school on Monday? There’s no point in ruining the party.”
For a moment Jeremy thought his appeal to their better natures might work. They were clearly close to the members of the dance squad, and surely the squad members wouldn’t look kindly on them if they caused a ruckus on Nicole’s important day.
“Yeah, okay.” The blond nodded as he reached into his pocket and pulled something out. “You can go, but not until you’re properly accessorized. This should do the trick.”
