by Sue MacKay
Rolling her head sideways, she saw what she already knew. He’d gone. Sneaked out some time in the early hours while she’d been snoozing, gathering her energy around her. For another round of exquisite sex? Turning to glance the other way, she smiled. A note lay on the bedside table.
‘Didn’t want to be around when Nicholas woke in case it caused trouble. See you at the medical centre. Hugs, J.’
Thoughtful as well as sexy. Great combination, Jackson. And I still love you. But you are going away again and I can understand why. Unfortunately.
Leaping out of bed, she tugged the curtains open. Yep, the sky was as blue as the lightest sapphire. The colour of love. Love meant letting go and waiting for him to come back.
‘Now for the weather forecast.’ Behind her the voice droned on. ‘Expect showers this morning and if you’re thinking of going out on the briny, maybe you should find something else to do. Forty-knot northerlies are predicted from around lunchtime.’
Showers? The day was light and sunny. ‘Get a new forecast, buddy.’ She clicked the pessimist off and headed for the shower.
Twenty minutes later Nicholas bounced into the kitchen and pulled out a chair at the table. ‘I want cocoa pops.’
‘Please,’ Jess said. Placing the bowl and box of cereal on the table, she did a double take. ‘What are you wearing?’
‘My fishing shirt. This is the lucky shirt. Jackson told me I should wear it every time I go fishing with him.’
So there were to be more fishing expeditions? ‘That’s fine, but you’re going to play centre this morning, not fishing. Take it off and put it in the washing basket.’
‘No. I’m wearing it so my friends can see it.’ The cocoa pops overflowed from the bowl onto the table. ‘I’m going to tell them all about the three fishes I got.’
Removing the carton from Nicholas’s hand, she put it back in the cupboard, out of reach. ‘That’s more than enough cereal. Let’s put half those pops in another bowl before you add the milk or there’ll be a big mess.’
Too late. The puffed rice spilled over the rim on a tide of milk. ‘Whoa, stop pouring now.’ She snatched the milk container away.
‘I want more milk.’ Nicholas banged his spoon on the tabletop. ‘More milk, more milk.’
‘Sorry, buddy, but you’ve got more than enough.’ She spooned coffee granules into a mug, added half a teaspoon extra, then two sugars. As she dropped two slices of wholegrain in the toaster the front doorbell rang.
Behind her a chair slammed back against the wall. ‘I’ll get it.’ Nicholas raced out of the kitchen.
‘Hello, Mr Fisherman.’ A deep, sexy voice echoed down the hallway before Jess had made it to the kitchen doorway. Her stomach turned to mush as she peeped around the doorframe and drank in the sight of this man who seemed to hold her heart in his hand.
‘Mummy, it’s Jackson,’ Nicholas yelled, as though she was already at the medical centre.
‘Morning.’ Jackson had somehow moved along the hall to stand in front of her. ‘You’re looking good enough to eat this morning.’
Corny. But nice. ‘Want a coffee?’
‘Please, ta.’
Nicholas jumped up and down in front of Jackson. ‘I’m wearing my fishing shirt. See?’
Jackson flicked a question her way. ‘Not your idea?’
She shook her head.
‘See, here’s the thing, Nicholas. Fishing shirts are special and we men have got to look after them. They need washing after you’ve caught fish, and then put away in the drawer until next time you go to the beach.’
Nicholas was nodding solemnly. ‘Okay. I’ll go and change.’
Jess stared after Nicholas as he sped out of the room. ‘How did you do that? I could spend ten minutes arguing myself blue in the face about that shirt and he’d still wear it to play centre.’
‘Hey. Solo parenting can’t be so easy. You’ve got to make all the calls.’ A friendly arm encircled her shoulders, tugged her in against a warm, strong body. ‘From what I saw last night, you have a good relationship with Nicholas. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not like you have family here to support you or give you a break.’
The more she got to know Jackson the more talkative he got. ‘Thanks.’ Reluctantly she pulled out of his hold. ‘Have you had breakfast?’
‘Toast on the run. Sam’s sheep got into Mum’s orchard overnight. I helped Kevin round them up and get them back in their rightful paddock.’
‘Kevin’s turning out to be very helpful.’
‘Where’d he come from?’
Jess handed him a coffee as she answered. ‘He and Tamara had an unexpected baby, which Sasha and Grady delivered. There are some terrible family issues involving Tamara’s family. Seems the young couple got so much help when the locals heard about the baby and everything else that they decided to stay here. Your dad offered Kevin work on the orchard, helping Virginia, and since Sam’s accident he hasn’t been able to go back to driving full time so Kevin fills in for him as needed.’
‘That’s why they’re living in the orchard cottage.’
‘Yep. Sasha moved in with Grady after Melanie was born. Kevin and Tamara needed somewhere to stay. Simple.’
‘Is this shirt okay, Jackson?’ Nicholas bounded back and climbed onto his chair.
After silently checking with her, Jackson gave his approval. ‘You’d better get on with your breakfast, sport. It’s nearly time to go to play group.’
Jess held her breath. But the kitchen became quiet except for the steady munching of cocoa pops. She shook her head and turned to Jackson. ‘That’s a turnaround. You sure you’re not staying for good?’
His smile faltered then returned. ‘Can I take a rain-check?’
Her eyes must have been out on stalks. They’d certainly widened so that they were stretching. Her mouth dried. As she stared at Jackson he shoved a hand through his hair, mussing it nicely.
‘You are making it so tempting, believe me.’ His chest rose. ‘But I have to be very honest here. I can’t see me staying. For a start, there isn’t an emergency department for me to find work at.’
‘There’s one two hours away over the hill.’
His lips pressed together and she knew she’d gone too far. But this wasn’t a one-sided conversation. Was it?
‘Like I’ve already explained, I don’t see myself settling back into such a small community. I didn’t much like it the first time round.’ His chest rose and fell. ‘Not to mention my promise to Juliet.’
She couldn’t complain that he hadn’t given her the facts. He was more honest than she was. But she had no intention of telling him she’d fallen in love with him. Not when she knew deep down she couldn’t start a serious relationship. Her son was more important than her love for any man. So that meant keeping her mouth shut and enjoying whatever happened between her and Jackson. ‘Thank you for being honest.’
‘Jess,’ he called softly. ‘Am I asking too much if I say I’d like to carry on with what we’ve got? Is that selfish?’
‘It would only be selfish if you were the only one getting something out of it.’ Even to her, the smile she made felt lacklustre. Trying again, she came up with something stronger, warmer. ‘I...’ I’m stuck for words.
‘It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.’
But I do. I want to. ‘Until Saturday night I never expected to meet a man I’d feel so relaxed and comfortable with. You touch something within me, and—’ Oh hell, why wasn’t this easy? Maybe she should come out with it, tell him she loved him. Except she had to remember that she carried her parents’ genes—she would never be able to trust herself to be a good parent when she was in love with someone else. Mum and Dad were devoted to each other, to the point she’d always felt like a spare part in their lives. She’d never do that to Ni
cholas. ‘Jackson, you’re special and you make me feel the same way. So, yes, let’s carry on with whatever it is we’ve got.’
Did that sound like a business arrangement? Nah, who had hot sex with their business partner? She started to giggle. This really was an oddball situation, and she had no intention of dropping it. Her giggles turned to laughter.
‘What’s funny, Mummy?’ Nicholas tapped Jackson on the arm. ‘Mummy doesn’t like laughing.’
Jackson’s eyes widened. ‘Must be my fault. She laughs a lot around me.’
‘That’s because you’re funny,’ Nicholas told him as he got down from the table.
‘Funny ha-ha or funny strange? No, don’t answer that, either of you.’ Jackson grinned at her boy.
‘Funny cool.’ Getting herself under control, Jess noticed Nicholas heading for his bedroom. ‘Nicholas, come back and put your bowl and spoon in the sink, please.’
‘You do it. I’m getting my school bag.’
‘Nicholas. Do as I say. Please.’
‘No. Too busy.’
Jackson glanced at her then down the hall. ‘Hey, sport, that’s not the way for a boy to talk to his mother. Better come and do as she says.’
She held her breath, and waited through the sudden silence that descended on her home.
‘Okay, coming,’ her son called, moments before he bounced back into the kitchen. There was the clatter of his plate dropping in the sink, followed by the spoon. Then he snatched up the cloth and wiped the spilled milk further across the table. ‘There, Mummy, all clean.’
Jess rescued the cloth from sliding off the edge of the bench and rinsed it under the tap. ‘Thanks, Nicholas. You can finish getting ready for play group now.’ As she re-wiped the table she didn’t know whether to be pleased or unhappy at Jackson’s help. He’d certainly got a good response from Nicholas. Far more than she’d managed. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered.
‘Like I said, you’re a good mum, Jessica Baxter. You’re too hard on yourself.’ Those arms she was coming to rely on for comfort were winding around her again.
Sighing she pulled back and looked up into those green eyes that reminded her of spring and new growth. New love? Don’t think like that. Some time soon Jackson will twig what you’re thinking and then where will you be? Out in the cold. ‘Guess we’d better get cracking. The centre opens in fifteen and I’ve got antenatal clinic this morning.’
* * *
At the medical centre Jackson sat at the staff kitchen table, a strong, long black coffee in hand, and listened to Roz and Rory discussing their patients. ‘Seems there’s no end of people needing lots of care.’
Jess hadn’t had a moment to spare during the day. Mike was at home, catching up on sleep after a night up on Takaka Hill helping Search and Rescue haul a caver out of Harwood’s Hole. The man had slipped and fallen fifty metres, breaking both legs on landing at the bottom.
Rory told him, ‘Summer is always busier. The influx of holidaymakers adds to our workload something terrible. Not to mention numerous cavers and trampers getting out into the wilderness.’
Roz added, ‘It’s as if people leave the cautious side of their brains at home when they pack to go on holiday.’
‘You must remember what it was like when you were growing up here, Jackson,’ Rory said.
‘Sure, but I wasn’t a doctor. I got to see a few incidents that occurred amongst my mates. I don’t remember anything too serious happening.’
‘What about when those guys took a dinghy out with too big a motor for the size of the boat? They flipped the boat and nearly drowned themselves. Saved by another boat going past. And by you swimming out to rescue one of them. He would’ve drowned if it hadn’t been for you and the doctor on board the second boat.’
When had Jess come into the room? When had his antennae failed him? He always knew when she was within metres of him. Or so he’d thought. ‘Ben and Haydon. Damned idiots they were.’
‘Lucky idiots, by the sound of it.’ Rory picked up a printout of a lab result. ‘I see it’s confirmed Gary’s got another bout of falciparum. We need to look into what else can be down to prevent further attacks. Jackson, do you see much malaria in Hong Kong?’
‘We get quite a few patients presenting but then they’re passed on to the medical team and that’s it as far as the emergency department is concerned. But I can give you a contact at the hospital if you like.’
From under lowered eyelids he watched Jess as she filled her water bottle. The movement of leaning slightly forward over the sink accentuated her sweet curves, especially that butt he’d cupped in his hands last night. His mouth dried while below his belt muscles stirred. Was there such a thing as having too much of Jess? Not in this lifetime.
‘Have you got many house calls, Jess?’ Rory asked.
‘Five for this afternoon, which isn’t too bad. I’ll stop by and see Claire Johnston and baby Max on my way home.’
Jackson sat up straighter. ‘I’ll give you another prescription for antibiotics for Max. Talking to Claire earlier, she said the baby still has a wheezy cough.’
Jess gave him one of those heart-melting smiles of hers. ‘Sure. Send it through to the pharmacy and I’ll pick it up on my way.’ She pulled a pen from her pocket and scribbled a note on the back of her hand. ‘There, shouldn’t forget now.’
‘Right.’ Roz pushed her chair back and stood up. ‘Might as well get this show on the road.’
Rory stayed seated, twirling his mug back and forth in his hands, like he was waiting for the others to disappear.
‘Baby Carrington’s due any day now so I’ll be hovering.’ Jess shoved her water bottle in the fridge and followed Roz.
Jackson drained his coffee and stood up. ‘You want to say something?’ he asked Rory.
The mug kept moving back and forth in those big hands resting on the table. ‘Are you fixed on returning to Hong Kong at the end of your leave?’
‘Definitely. Nothing to keep me here.’ Why did an image of a pair of all-seeing, fudge-coloured eyes suddenly dance across his brain?
‘Pity.’ Rory lifted his gaze from the table to Jackson. ‘Will you go back to working on the streets at night?’
How did he know about that? ‘Of course. There’s no end of work out there.’
‘Your near-miss with a knife hasn’t changed your attitude?’
Disappointment was a hard ball in the pit of his gut. ‘Jess has been talking too much.’ So the very thing that had made him wary about being here had come back to haunt him—in less than three weeks.
Rory’s eyebrows lifted. ‘Jess?’ Then understanding dawned. ‘Not Jess. Dr Ng Ping.’
What was going on here? Ping was his department head, and probably the closest he had to a friend in Hong Kong. Why had he and Rory been in touch? ‘You care to explain?’ Jackson’s blood started to simmer. If anyone had anything to say about him, they should say it to his face.
‘Dr Ng rang to ask after your health. Said whenever he talked to you, you only ever told him you were fine.’
‘Wait until I see Ping. He had no right to do that.’ The simmer was becoming a boil. How could Ping do that behind his back? He, more than most, understood how important it was to him to be above board in everything.
‘He told me he was a concerned friend who wanted to know you were doing as well as you said. That you are getting over the incident.’
Had Ping told Rory about his meltdown in the middle of the department one particularly busy night? Yes, Jackson would bet everything he owned on it. Pulling out a chair, he straddled it and eyeballed Rory. ‘I still have small temper surges at the most unexpected moments, but they disappear quickly, and they happen less and less often. Nothing has happened here at the centre, and no patients have any reason to be concerned. Neither do you and your partners.’ Bile soure
d his mouth. And he’d been stupid enough to think loose-tongued people only lived in Golden Bay.
‘Relax, Jackson. I have absolutely no qualms about you working with us. No one else knows about that call either. I figured it wasn’t necessary.’
‘So where’s this headed? I’m sure the waiting room is bursting with people wanting our services.’ The threatening temper outburst backed off a little.
Rory got up and shut the door, came back to the table but didn’t sit. ‘I’m getting antsy, want to head home to Auckland. But my conscience won’t let me leave these guys in the lurch. Not before I’ve tried all avenues I can think of to find a replacement.’
Jackson stared at him. ‘You’re asking if I want to stay on permanently?’ Of course, the man knew next to nothing about him and how he’d left the moment the school bell had rung for the last time on his school life. Hell. How had his parents coped with that? He’d never stopped to ask. Maybe he should. Only if you can handle the answer.
‘Yeah, something like that.’ Rory grimaced. ‘Your face tells me all I need to know. But if Jess manages to change your mind, let me know, will you?’
Jackson felt his mouth drop open. Was it really that obvious? Guess so if Rory had noticed. Grady, the sooner you’re home the better for me. And as for Ping—I’m ringing you tonight. Pal.
His stomach tightened and his hands balled into fists as his head spun. Damn you, Ping. Thankfully Rory had disappeared out the door without seeing this tantrum.
‘Hey, what’s up? You look ready to shoot someone.’ Jess was back. Her hand gripped his shoulder, shook him softly.
‘My so-called friend in Hong Kong has been checking up on me. Rory took a call from Ping and now knows about the attack.’
Jess smiled. Smiled? This was serious.
‘Jackson, friends do that. This Ping obviously cares about you, wants to make sure you’re doing okay.’ Her mouth came close, caressed his cheek with the lightest of kisses. ‘He’s doing the right thing.’
