“Yes. I would have.”
She stepped back when he reached for her, not wanting the distraction his touch caused, which she still hadn’t comes to terms with. Here she was attracted to a man she didn’t want to be attracted to, who had two daughters needing a mother she didn’t want to be.
What a mess.
“I love my daughters very much. But I never had many dealings with them. My wife, Eve, died three months ago. She always did whatever it was the girls needed to have done. My job as a sheriff didn’t leave a whole lot of time to be a father. Many times I had to be out of town tracking criminals.”
He paced as he continued to ramble on. “It wasn’t until Eve died that I realized how little I knew about the girls’ everyday lives. How to fix their hair, what foods they liked, who their friends were, how they were doing in school.”
Adelaide had to swallow the tears at the images his words called to mind. Braiding Mary’s hair, making her pancakes, her favorite food, checking over her schoolwork. All the things she’d done as a mother that she lost when her little girl died. How could she do all of those things for two girls and avoid the pain if she lost them, too?
“Didn’t you realize how hard it would be for me to spend my days with Lizzie and Beth Ann when I will constantly be reminded of Mary? Didn’t you understand?” She slumped and wrapped her arms around her middle, turning from him to gaze at the activity at the fort. “I guess you did understand. That’s precisely why you didn’t tell me.”
She started when his warm palms gently rested on her shoulders. “I’m very sorry, Adelaide. I was so terrified at not being able to continue with the group that I used you. I desperately need a mother for my daughters.”
“They have a father, you know. You could try being one.” She continued to stare out over the area doing her best to ignore the rapid beat of her heart at his touch. This was not the time or place to consider those feelings.
He leaned closer, speaking softly in her ear. “Will you teach me?”
She gasped and turned, finding herself in his arms. “What?” Her mouth suddenly dried up and heat rose to her face. Standing this close, she noticed the fine lines on the sides of his mouth, as well as the crinkles at the edge of his eyes. Miles Ryan smiled a lot.
The scent of soap and clean cotton assailed her senses, drawing away some of her anger. Wanting to hold onto her distress for a while longer, she stepped back and his arms dropped to his side. “Eve was so good at handling everything, I never learned how to take care of my daughters. Can you teach me?”
Adelaide shook her head. “All you have to do is love them. Be there for them, take them in hand when they misbehave. Did you ever think the reason they’re getting into trouble all the time is to get your attention?”
“That’s’ ridiculous.”
She sniffed. “Says the man who just asked to be taught how to be a father.”
Miles thought about Adelaide’s words as he studied his wagon where Lizzie and Beth Ann did the tasks Adelaide had assigned them. Only a few sentences from her and the girls did what they were told. Could it possibly be that easy? Just be firm and expect them to obey? Maybe the girls only responded to a woman’s touch. Although, from the look on Mrs. Schulze’s face, they certainly hadn’t stayed out of trouble for her.
He took Adelaide’s hand, amazed at how tiny it was, how soft it felt. Regret at his deception threatened to overwhelm him. He had been a bastard to coerce her into marrying him knowing full well it would cause her pain.
“I want to be a good father. My own father was there during my childhood, but never helpful. Mother ruled the family and I guess I just assumed all families were run that way. Pa did the farming, and left everything else to Ma. When we married, I just let Eve take care of the household and I took care of supporting my family.”
Adelaide didn’t pull away, for which he was grateful. Perhaps he had reason to hope after all.
“Most marriages are that way, but children need both parents. How will your daughters ever know what they should look for in a husband if they never see you?”
Miles tucked a curl behind her ear. He was confused by his fascination with this woman.
His marriage to Eve had been arranged, and satisfying. He’d gotten two daughters, a comfortable home, and his needs taken care of. Eve had the security of a husband who protected her and provided food and a roof over her head. There wasn’t much more a woman needed. Oh, sure, most women wanted romance, but they needed security.
Miles looked up at the darkening sky. “We should probably head back to the wagon.”
Adelaide slid her hand from his and they started back. He was amazed to see the dishes all washed and put away and both girls sitting quietly in their nightgowns and cloaks by the dying fire.
“What have the sleeping arrangements been?” Adelaide didn’t quite look him in the eye. Since she’d already told him they wouldn’t be sharing a bed any time soon, he wasn’t surprised by her question.
“We all slept in the wagon. I didn’t want to leave the girls alone in there.”
She cleared her throat, eyeing her surroundings, very interested in what the rest of the camp was doing. “I think you should sleep under the wagon and the girls and I can sleep inside.”
He didn’t want to dispute her, but she hadn’t seen the looks that passed between Lizzie and Beth Ann. Hopefully it had been his imagination and the girls would continue to be on their best behavior. “That sounds like a good idea.”
“Mr. Ryan.” Miles turned to a man carrying a lantern as he made his way down the row of wagons. He recognized Easton’s lanky stride, and walked forward to greet the wagon master.
“I’ll get the girls tucked in, and see you in the morning,” Adelaide said as she escaped. At least that was how it appeared to him. Was she afraid he would try to kiss her goodnight?
“I’m just checking with all the wagons to make sure you’re ready to roll. We expected to leave tomorrow, but the wagon with the brides in it needed more time, so we’ll have an extra day here,” the wagon master said.
“How much longer do you figure it will take to reach Santa Fe?”
Easton placed his hand on his hip and shifted a wad of tobacco in his mouth. “If we don’t run into any problems with weather, we should reach Santa Fe in four or five weeks.”
Based on his calculations, they would reach his parents’ ranch near the end of May. It would be a busy time of the year for farms. Most of the animal spring births would be over, and the fields plowed and planted. Fence mending and other maintenance chores needed to be done on a daily basis. He felt a wave of depression. Farm life was not for him, but with his parents begging, and his wife’s death, it seemed the only reasonable path to follow.
Hopefully, he would have some time to settle into his parents’ farmhouse with Adelaide and the girls. Maybe her idea of him paying more attention to Lizzie and Beth Ann would help. They certainly hadn’t adjusted well from their mother’s death.
He wished Easton a good night as the man moved along to speak with the other travelers. Miles took a quick wash at the water barrel and laid his bedroll under the wagon. Actually, the ground was more comfortable than the wagon had been, where they were all squashed in together.
Resting his hands behind his head, he looked up at the floor of the wagon above him. A soft feminine voice drifted through the floorboards as his wife settled his daughters in for the night.
His wife.
Right now in name only. Not since Eve’s death had he taken comfort in a woman’s body. Truth be told, he was looking forward to that part of marriage. Beneath her calico dress, he was sure Adelaide had plenty of dips and curves for his hands and mouth to discover. Especially if regular meals put a few pounds back on her.
Just thinking about her hair cascading over her naked shoulders had him hardening. Would her eyes darken with passion? Would her breath hitch when he slid into her warmth?
Perhaps she’d had the type of marriage experien
ce that was limited to shoving up her nightgown in the dark, with a quick tumble and ‘good night.’ Or had her deceased husband been a passionate man who had introduced Adelaide to the true delights of love making?
He was anxious to find out.
His thoughts wandered for a while until there was no more conversation coming from the wagon above him, and the surrounding camp fires were doused for the night. Soon even the fort quieted down, and Miles felt himself drifting off to sleep.
The sun had barely edged beyond the horizon when a hair-raising scream woke him. Forgetting he was under the wagon, Miles sat up abruptly, smacking his head. “What the hell?”
As he rolled from underneath, four small feet climbed down the steps of the wagon and raced in the direction of the fort, nightgowns billowing behind two little girls. From above him came the shriek of one word from his new wife.
“Lizzie!”
Chapter 4
Adelaide stared down at the drizzle of honey on her nightgown. Lizzie had begun her mischief at the neckline and dripped it all the way down to her feet in a string of tiny little blobs. She tried to pull the gown away from her body, but the stickiness had already seeped through the material onto her skin. She would need a bath and had no idea what provisions there were for bathing.
“Mr. Ryan!” She shouted loud enough to raise the dead, and frankly, didn’t care.
His head poked into the wagon canvas opening. “Is something wrong?”
“Oh don’t you dare try to look surprised.” She waved at her body. “Do you see what Lizzie did?”
He winced as she tried again to pull the gown from her skin. “Maybe it was an accident?”
“I don’t know how stupid you think I am, but this was obviously not an accident. I need to find a bath, and you need to find your daughters and punish them.”
Miles stiffened. “I won’t whip my girls.”
“No one said anything about whipping. But they need to be made to understand this is not acceptable behavior.” She rose, shaking her hands, trying to rid herself of the mess. “They have gotten away with poor conduct for too long.” She made her way to the opening, and reached out her hand for Miles to help her out.
Once she was on the ground, she looked in all directions. “Do you know if there is a river or creek nearby?” She took one step and made a face as the wet, sticky gown rubbed along her skin. She had to at least wash the mess from her hands so she could pull a clean dress and under garments from her suitcase.
“You can wash your hands in the barrel here.” Miles pointed to the rain barrel attached to the wagon.
“I can’t do that, it will sweeten all the water. Maybe if you scoop out a cup and pour it over my hands, I can clean them up and then either take a bowl of water behind one of those bushes, or try to find a creek or river.”
Miles poured the water over her hands “I’m real sorry about this.”
Adelaide sighed. “Those girls need to be taken in hand, Mr. Ryan.”
“Perhaps since we’re married now, you can call me Miles?”
She rubbed her wet hands with the small towel he held out to her. “I will ask among the other women where I can take a bath.” She pointed her finger at Miles. “You get those girls and bring them back here. It’s time we set down some rules.”
By the time Adelaide had returned from the river with a clean body and hair, the wagon train was beginning to stir. She’d heard from another woman at the river that they would be here one more day. The time would be well spent getting to know her new step-daughters and seeing if she could figure out a way for them all to get along without any more shenanigans.
A nervous-looking Beth Ann and a defiant Lizzie stood in front of the wagon as she approached. By the look on his face, Miles must have been lecturing them, since he appeared frustrated.
The best way to handle these girls would be split and conquer, since Lizzie was obviously the leader, but with their mother so recently gone from their lives, it didn’t seem fair to pit one against the other. She would have to find another way to win them over.
“I suppose you’re going to beat us senseless,” Lizzie said as Adelaide approached. To her way of thinking, Adelaide was sure the girl’s insolent manner hid sorrow and fear. A mother taken from them, a move to an entire new state, and now a new stepmother. It had to be very frightening for them.
“No, I am not of the ‘beating you senseless’ ilk.”
Lizzie’s brows furrowed. “What’s ‘ilk’ mean? Is that one of them fancy words my mama was always trying to make us learn?”
“If your mama was interested in seeing you raised in a proper manner for a young lady, then yes, she probably would have liked you to learn all sorts of words. Ilk means the kind of person an individual is. I am not the type of parent who thinks beating a child is a good way to make them behave.”
Lizzie rolled her eyes and huffed. “What would you know about raising kids?”
“Enough!” Miles shouted, casting an anxious glance in Adelaide’s direction.
The pain in her heart shot through her so fast it took her breath away. Tears flooded her eyes, but she had no intention of crying and handing Lizzie a weapon to use against her. She pulled herself together and regarded the girl. “Whatever I know, or don’t know, about raising children is irrelevant since I am now your stepmother and you must obey me.”
While she still held onto her composure, she said, “We have an unexpected extra day here to prepare for our journey. I want both of you girls to go through your clothing and bring me anything that needs washing. I have no idea when we will be near water again, so we must make sure we begin with clean clothes.”
Still rattled by Lizzie’s comment, she headed to the wagon, the tears finally sliding down her cheeks.
“Are you all right?” Miles was right behind her, with a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m fine.”
He turned her, but kept his back to the girls to block their view of her. “I’m sorry she said that.”
Adelaide just shook her head, still unable to form words.
Oh, God. Would the pain ever go away?
She wiped her cheeks and forced a smile. “I’m fine. Truly. She had no idea.”
Miles rested his other hand on her shoulder and tugged his wife to him.
His wife.
To his surprise, she allowed him to draw her to his chest where she rested her face. The scent of lemons drifted from her hair. Once again he noticed her slenderness. Life must have been very difficult for her once her husband and daughter died. He couldn’t imagine how frightening it must have been for her to be left in the world with no one.
Everything protective rose up in him. All the diligence he had brought to his sheriff’s job, the caring and helping his townspeople, now focused on his family. He had to take care of Adelaide and his two daughters. He was her husband now, and had to make sure she was provided for, and never had to worry again about from where her next meal was coming.
“I know I’ve been neglectful of Lizzie and Beth Ann. I admit I haven’t been the best father, having left everything to Eve to handle. But I promise you that we will become a family. I will do whatever it takes to make sure my girls respect, and in time, love you.”
She pulled abruptly away. “No.” Her body trembled with emotion. “I don’t want love. I want to be a good mother to the girls, and see that they’re brought up proper, but I can’t love another child and lose her.” Her voice broke. “Please don’t ask that of me.”
“Adelaide, you can’t close yourself off like that. I know it must have been painful, and I can’t imagine losing one of my daughters, but life goes on.”
She raised her chin. “Life ended for me when Mary and Gerald died. I will never love again.” With a step backward, she spun on her heel and hurried to the wagon, leaving Miles wondering where that left him. With another emotionless marriage? Another wife who was more friend than lover?
The next morning the wailing cry of the bugle s
ounded to awaken the travelers. Miles had spent another night underneath the wagon, again listening to his wife talk to his daughters before they had all fallen silent as they slipped into slumber. He’d lain awake for a long time after the last words had reached his ears, thinking about his conversation with Adelaide.
A woman who had loved so deeply would love again. All he had to do was give her time. At least his daughters had behaved, for the most part, for the rest of the day. Perhaps Lizzie sensed Adelaide’s mood after her comment about children and decided to give the poor woman a pass.
He knew his daughters were basically good children. They had been perfect when Eve had been alive, so once all these disruptions were settled, they would most likely revert back to the sweet, charming little girls he’d known before Eve’s death.
Another concern was his arrival back at his parents’ home. He’d left there almost as an escape. Farming had never been for him, and he was fortunate that Eve had agreed to accompany him to his sheriff job. Had it not been for Eve’s death, he would never have considered moving back to Santa Fe once again.
He scooted out from underneath the wagon in time to hear Adelaide. “Lizzie, what in heavens name did you do?”
His two daughters stood looking at a pile of clothes sitting in a mud hole. Adelaide’s eyes flashed and Lizzie stood glaring at her. “I didn’t do anything. Those clothes fell out of the wagon.”
He hadn’t missed the fact that it was impossible for the clothes to ‘fall’ into the mud. The wagon was a good six feet from the mess.
“Those are the clothes I washed just yesterday so we would have clean ones for at least a couple of weeks.”
Lizzie shrugged. “I guess we’ll just have to wear what we have on for the next few weeks.” Beth Ann nodded her head, her thumb in her mouth.
Miles walked up to them. “I think not, Lizzie. You and Beth Ann will wash all those clothes when we stop for the day. Your mama is not going to do it.”
Wild Western Women Spring Into Love: A Western Historical Romance Box Set Page 11
