by Nina Croft
“I did not throw myself at you.”
He just stood there, one eyebrow raised.
She folded her arms across her chest. “Anyway. I thought you were pretending that never happened?”
“Believe me, I’m trying. But I keep getting these little flashbacks at the most inappropriate times. Like when I’m picking up a tool from my work bench and there you are, all soft and naked and panting for me.”
Why did he do this to himself? His dick was almost painfully hard.
She was staring at him wide-eyed, her pink lips slightly parted. She didn’t move. He cast a quick look around the street—it was empty—then he closed the space between them, lowered his head, and kissed her before she could even have an idea of his intentions. He half expected her to pull back and run away, but her lips softened, then parted under his, and he slipped his tongue inside, sliding it along the length of hers. He kissed her until they both ran out of air. He hadn’t thought kissing was such a big deal, but he could kiss Emily all night.
“Hmm,” he whispered against her skin, “you taste of strawberries and cream.”
She blinked up at him. “You taste of beer.”
He looked around again, spotted a deep doorway to the hardware store behind her. Just one more kiss, then they’d go back to the forgetting thing. And maybe a quick squeeze. The music drifted across town. “You want to dance?”
She blinked at him as though she didn’t know what the word meant, and he slid his arms around her waist and turned her in a spin. Her hands gripped his shoulder, and she was pressed against him, soft against his hardness, and he groaned into her hair. But she made no move to pull away, and he slowed the spin, maneuvering her back and into the doorway. For a minute he held her, swaying to the music. Christ, he didn’t know how to dance, but he could pretend. Not for too long. He had a feeling that if he wanted another kiss, he’d better be quick, because any moment she’d remember who he was and where they were. And then she’d be gone.
Stepping back, he cupped her cheek and kissed her again, his tongue playing with hers as he gently urged her back. She didn’t fight him, instead sinking into him, soft and pliant. Finally, he backed her against the doorway and deepened the kiss. He pressed his body against hers, feeling the softness of her breasts, and she moaned into his mouth, her hands coming up to grip his shoulders. He nuzzled her neck, licked then sucked the soft skin. He lifted one leg, pushed it between hers under her stripy skirt so she rode the hard muscle of his thigh. He was pressed right up against her sex, and she liked it, he could tell, rubbing herself against him, almost purring. He was going to make her come and then he’d…
He could hardly take her back to his place, not with his brothers and Keira there. And he could equally not screw the town’s first-grade teacher in a doorway on a main street. But Christ, he wanted to.
She went still in his arms and then punched him on the shoulder. “Let me go. Now.”
He lowered his leg, released his hold, and turned around. The restaurant door had opened, and three women walked out. He recognized the middle one as Emily’s grandmother.
Emily was smoothing her dress down. Her hair had come loose and hung in a mass of honey curls to her shoulders. She had glorious hair but usually wore it tied back tight. She looked a little…undone. It suited her.
“I have to go,” she said. “I don’t suppose you could…”
“Hide until you’ve gone?” Well, that put him in his place. But what else did he expect? “Yeah. Get out of here. We wouldn’t want the nice people seeing little Ms. Sensible with me, now would we?”
Her lips formed an O of outrage. He reckoned he’d learned how to push her buttons. But he wouldn’t be doing it again. From now on, no more stalking.
…
Emily tried to shake of the niggle of guilt. She’d offended him, and she hadn’t meant to. After all, he was the one who’d said they should keep their little encounter to themselves.
A taxi drove up, and Mimi’s friends climbed into the back, leaving Mimi alone on the sidewalk. She glanced across as Emily appeared out of the shadows. “Hello, darling. Are you hiding?”
She shrugged. “I thought Ryan might have followed me. He was being a pain.” She took a deep breath. She wasn’t ashamed of Tanner. Even if he was ashamed of her. “And Mr. O’Connor was just keeping me company while I waited.”
“Mr. O’Connor? Really? In the doorway of Dee’s Hardware store? What a novel idea. And is he going to come out, or stay skulking in the shadows?”
She had no clue. Emily glanced back over her shoulders. Maybe he’d just ignore them and stay there. But he strolled out of the doorway, hands in his pockets as though he hadn’t a care in the world.
“Evening, ma’am.” He nodded to Mimi.
“You must call me Mimi,” her gran said. “Everyone does.”
Tanner’s lips curled as though he found the idea amusing, but he never said anything.
“Well, thank you for keeping Emily company, Mr. O’Connor. Happy Founders’ Day, now we must be going.” She took Emily’s arm. “But don’t think I have forgotten about my motorcycle. The bank informs me that my check has not been cleared. Is my money not good enough?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer, just continued, “I will be visiting your place of business very shortly to find out exactly what’s going on.”
Emily had forgotten all about the bike. But he clearly hadn’t taken the money. She peered over her shoulder as Mimi hustled her away. He was standing watching them, a frown between his eyes. Mimi could have that effect.
They were silent until halfway home. “Anything you want to tell me about, Emily?”
She chewed on her nail, something she hadn’t done since fourth grade. “No?” She had an idea that wouldn’t work. But Mimi couldn’t know anything. There had been nothing incriminating to see tonight. Mimi couldn’t know that she was hot and wet and frustrated. It had just been a kiss. Okay, a kiss and a grope and a big strong leg between her thighs. She could have ridden that leg to paradise. She snorted.
“What are you finding so amusing?”
“Nothing, Gran.”
“Hmm, there’s something between you and that Tanner boy. What were you up to when you were both waiting for me in the doorway? Out of sight. And you come out looking like you’ve just been kissed.”
“Nothing, Gran.”
“You didn’t sell yourself for twenty-five thousand dollars, did you?” Mimi sounded more intrigued than anything else.
“Gran! What a terrible thing to say.”
“Well, just be careful. A sensible girl would keep her distance from trouble like Tanner O’Connor, however good his kisses.”
Hah. She had a feeling that from now on, the S word was going to be everyone’s go-to word for riling her up.
“That’s not a problem.” She sniffed. “Mr. O’Connor has no intention of being seen with me. He believes it would be bad for his reputation.”
Mimi laughed out loud. “Hah. I’m beginning to like that boy.”
Chapter Nine
A week later, Emily opened her eyes to find her bedroom lit with bright sunshine. She normally woke as the sun rose, but glancing at her clock on the bedside table, she saw it was ten o’clock. She sat up and stared. She hadn’t been to bed late, hadn’t drunk anything more than a glass of wine with dinner last night. But her head felt muzzy. She’d been feeling more than a little weird for a while now. Since before she saw Tanner at the Founders’ Celebrations. But hadn’t thought much of it.
It was Sunday. There was nothing she had to get up for, though she usually helped with the chores around the ranch on the weekends. A cold cup of coffee stood on the bedside table. Mimi must have brought it up and decided not to wake her.
She sat up, and everything around her swum. Her stomach lurched. She swallowed, then swung her legs out of the bed. Then she was up and running. Shoving open the bathroom door and leaning over the toilet bowl, only just making it as the contents of her stomach for
cibly removed themselves. She stayed where she was for a moment, then slowly straightened. And threw up again.
What the heck?
Five minutes later, she was pretty sure she wasn’t going to heave again. Mainly because there was nothing left in her stomach.
Food poisoning?
They’d had fish last night. Fish could be dodgy at this time of year. Couldn’t it?
Five minutes after that and she felt as right as rain. Nothing but a glitch.
Head hanging over the toilet bowl the following morning, she knew she wasn’t going to be able to convince herself of the glitch thing again.
But she couldn’t even get her brain to focus on the alternative.
They’d used a condom.
But she was throwing up—classic sign. And while her periods had never been regular, she was pretty sure she should have had one by now. Probably all the upset about breaking up with Ryan. Except she wasn’t upset. Not really. It had actually been a relief.
Maybe this was some sort of phantom pregnancy. Agh! There, her brain had said the P word, now it could never be taken back. It was out there loose in her head, free to cause havoc.
This couldn’t be happening.
They’d used a goddamn condom.
Sensible people like her did not get pregnant.
She had a morality clause in her contract, for goodness sake. And she’d never in a million years thought it might come to apply to her. But she had a funny idea that being a single mother, pregnant by Tanner O’Connor, might well be in violation of that clause.
She straightened, then slid down the wall to crouch on the bathroom floor, arms wrapped around her knees.
She loved children, and she’d always believed that one day she would have babies of her own. That was probably the main reason she had started going out with Ryan. Because he was such fabulous father material. Stable, good job, nice family—if you ignored Lanie and Sawyer—at a point in his life where he wanted to settle down himself. He’d told her that on their first date. In the end, it hadn’t been enough.
She wanted love and passion and marriage and babies and happily ever after.
An image popped up in her mind. Tanner. Long hair, beard, tattoos, presumably no intention of ever settling down. Gorgeous, sexy as hell, but as far from fabulous father material as it was possible to get. No white picket fences in Tanner’s future.
And that was beside the point. She didn’t love Tanner. She didn’t even know him. She’d just had this huge crush on him because he was hot and unattainable. And then briefly, he’d been hot and attainable.
Anyway, he didn’t want anything to do with her.
And that was good, because she didn’t want anything to do with him. Really, she didn’t. It could never work between them, even if either of them wanted it to.
They were just too different.
But she was getting ahead of herself. She had to find out if this was really happening first. Maybe it was just a phantom echo brought on by…subconscious guilt?
No way was she going into the drug store in Saddler Cove and buying a pregnancy test—it would be all over town in minutes. She considered asking Susanne for help, but she didn’t want to involve anyone else at this point. Which meant she was going to have to go out of town. Which meant she would have to wait until the following Saturday.
It was the longest week of her life.
Luckily, the sickness passed quickly, and she was able to function okay. But the wait was driving her crazy.
By the time Saturday morning came, she was a nervous wreck. Once she was through her morning ritual of throwing up, she stripped off her pajamas and had a quick shower. After dressing in a pale pink linen dress and white strappy sandals, she headed downstairs. Mimi was nowhere to be found, and she made her way to the barn.
Up until her grandfather’s death, this had been a working ranch, breeding and raising beef cattle. But after her husband had died, Mimi hadn’t been interested in carrying on the family tradition—she was a vegetarian. But she loved horses and was brilliant with them. She now ran the place as an equine therapy center, treating people with PTSD, usually veterans. Mimi had lost her only brother in Vietnam, and it was a cause close to her heart. There was no one here right now, but the horses still needed to be worked. She also employed a manager who looked after the land and the barns and stables, but Mimi did most of the work with the horses herself. She claimed it was what kept her young.
Emily leaned on the fence and watched as Mimi rode the youngster around the indoor school, horse and rider as one. This was a chestnut mare Mimi had taken on as a rescue case. A year ago, she had been underweight, vicious, having no trust in humans, until Mimi worked her magic. Now there seemed an unspoken communication between the two.
Emily loved horses and was happy to work with them on the ground, but she hadn’t ridden since a fall when she was eleven. The accident had been shortly after she’d found out about the death of her parents, and the two things had become inextricably mixed in her mind. She still had the pony, though. She loved her, just hadn’t wanted to ride again.
Mimi brought the mare to a halt close to where Emily waited and swung out of the saddle.
“She’s looking so well,” Emily said.
“Yes, she’s ready to go out into the world. I’ll put the word out and we’ll see if we can’t find her a good home.” Mimi rarely kept the horses she saved, claiming they needed to make room for the next horse in need. Emily suspected that Mimi just didn’t like to care too deeply for anything. She’d lost so many people. Emily couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to lose a child. And Mimi had lost her only daughter when that plane had gone down in Africa, killing both of Emily’s parents outright. “Are you okay?” Mimi asked. “You’ve seemed a little off this week.”
“I’m fine. Just the heat.” She reached across and stroked her hand down the mare’s nose, and she whickered. “I need a few things. I’m going to head into Virginia Beach. Is there anything I can get you?”
“You want me to come along?”
“No.” Gosh, had she said that too quickly. The last thing she needed was Mimi suspecting something was wrong. “I’m sure you have lots to do.”
“Actually, I do. And I’m going to pop into town and see your young man.”
“My young man?” Did she mean Ryan?
“Tanner O’Connor. Find out what he’s doing about my hog.”
“Nothing, hopefully.” It had better be nothing. And why had Mimi called him her young man? She couldn’t know. Actually, there was very little to know. Except for the thing that Emily didn’t even know yet. She groaned, she was in such a mess.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Mimi asked.
“Of course. I’m going to get going. I might see if Susanne wants to meet for lunch afterward.”
“Sounds nice.”
“I’ll see you at dinner.”
The drive to Virginia Beach took just under an hour—she was a careful driver. She parked up in the center, close to the beach. Instead of going straight for the shops, she headed for the long stretch of golden sand. It was busy, the sand covered with bright-colored umbrellas and family groups. She preferred the quiet, stark beauty of the beaches close to Saddler Cove. Thankfully, they’d never really been a tourist destination and they retained their wildness.
When she could put it off no longer, she headed for the biggest drugstore she could find. She wanted anonymity.
They’d used a condom.
Of course it was going to be negative. This was just a precaution, so when she threw up tomorrow morning she could start worrying that she was seriously ill.
She couldn’t shake the feeling she was being watched as she hovered over the pregnancy testing kits. Why did there have to be so many? What was the difference? Finally, she picked the most expensive because she had no other criteria to go on. Then she went back and picked the next expensive one. Better to be sure.
Once her purchases wer
e safely camouflaged in a white paper bag, she set off again.
Should she go home? But she didn’t think she could wait that long. Instead, she headed for the town library and then to the ladies’ room. She had the place to herself. She got out the box and read the instructions, which wouldn’t seem to gel in her head.
All you have to do is pee on a stick. So go pee.
She did. First one. Then the second test. She laid them carefully on the tank behind her, faced firmly forward, and stared at her watch. The seconds ticked by.
She had to look.
But it would be negative. She couldn’t be pregnant. Her egg would never have accepted Tanner’s seed. Some things were not meant to be, just unnatural.
Turning slowly, she whimpered.
She picked up the first test and shook it, but the blue line refused to waver. Then the second.
Not happening.
Once, just once, she’d done something spontaneous, and look what happened. It wasn’t fair. She’d always been so good, so careful, and where was her payback for that? Nowhere. But one little walk on the wild side, and she’d be paying for the rest of her life.
And she hated that she thought that way. She didn’t want any child of hers to ever, ever, get an inkling that they weren’t wanted 100 percent. At least by one of their parents.
Because one thing she was sure of, Tanner O’Connor was not ready for fatherhood.
She got to her feet, picked up the sticks, shook them a couple of times—just in case—then tossed them in the trash. Could she pretend this had never happened? Just go on with her life and hope no one noticed her getting bigger and bigger.
At least this would put Ryan off. He’d phoned twice this week. Talk about treat them mean to keep them keen. He’d certainly never been this devoted when she was going out with him.
She left the library and walked along the seafront. Trying to decide what her next move should be.
She had a horrible feeling she was going to lose her job. And it wasn’t as though she didn’t need the money. She’d had a small trust fund from her parents, mainly a compensation payout from the charity they’d been working for, but that had gone to her college education. Mimi wasn’t poor, but all her money went back into the ranch—the twenty-five thousand for the hog was actually earmarked for a new indoor riding school.
