by Leslie Chase
I couldn’t hide the shiver of fear that ran through me at that. Being thrown in the arena with those beasts? I might as well slit my own throat. At least it would be a quicker death.
“What do you want from me?” I asked. It was probably inexcusably rude, but I had to know.
She laughed. “Why, nothing. You are an entertaining curiosity, no more. It’s Athazar I want.”
“I’m here and he’s not,” I pointed out. “You have to want something.”
I looked back and saw her smile. It was like looking into the gaze of a shark and I realized that I might prefer the arena and the death-bears to Tlaxanna.
“My dear girl, I don’t just want to kill him,” she explained. “And that’s all I could manage if I brought him up here. Eventually he’d snap and attack me, and then I’d have no choice but to put him down.”
Something sparkled in her eyes, an evil joy, and I shuddered again. It was impossible to look away as she continued. “Oh, I’d have fun with that I suppose. And I could stretch his death out for a few years. That wouldn’t be as satisfying as breaking him will be, though.”
“You think I’m going to help you with that?” I asked, swallowing.
“Not deliberately, of course,” the princess said, waving off my words. “You wouldn’t raise a hand to him. But, well, he swore he’d never kill for me again when he fled my service. I’m sure you know how seriously he takes that.”
I nodded reluctantly, seeing where this was going. “If you have me up here…”
“Athazar will do whatever I tell him,” she finished the thought. “He knows as well as anyone what I’ll do to you if he doesn’t.”
It took an effort to breathe normally, to keep myself from spiraling into a panic. She was right. Athazar would do whatever he had to if it would keep me safe. And he’d hate every second he was subject to her whims.
Below us, someone screamed. I didn’t need to look to know what it meant — one of the convicts had made a mistake, and against that pack, one mistake was all it took. Horrible sounds filled the air and the crowd cheered.
No one watched an animal match to root for the gladiators.
“And what happens to me afterward?” I asked, trying to ignore the horror below us. Tlaxanna looked past me, delighted by what she saw.
“I’ll find a use for you, never fear,” she said absently. “Oh, I’ll be kind. That’s the whole point, after all: Athazar has to trust me, or he’ll never do what I say. So you get a comfortable life with me, as long as he behaves himself.”
A bit of a contradiction, I thought but didn’t say. How could this vile woman think that I would ever be comfortable in her presence? But I knew better than to argue.
Her gaze flickered up to me, and then back to the display on the sands. “You don’t trust me? That doesn’t matter. Athazar knows better, he learned the hard way that I always keep my promises — and I’ll swear on the divine blood of the Silent Empress that flows in my veins, you will be safe as long as he does as I desire.”
I swallowed, disgust and horror warring with anger. The simple joy on her face as she watched the bears tear apart the gladiators below made her look more monstrous than any beast. I couldn’t imagine anyone trusting her.
I also knew that Athazar would have no choice.
He would do anything to spare me the fate that faced him, even if it meant breaking his most sacred vow.
20
Athazar
Once I’d had to hide for days buried in a snowdrift, waiting in ambush for Tlaxanna’s enemies to approach. At the time I’d rather have been anywhere else.
Now, I’d happily have switched places. At least then I’d only worried about my own safety. With Emma in Tlaxanna’s clutches I had far more to fear.
Outside, in the arena, I heard the screams and cries of gladiators dying. The roars of some exotic beasts as they tore fighters limb from limb. Was Emma one of the victims? I wouldn't put it past Tlaxanna to feed my mate to the beasts.
No. If she was going to kill Emma, she’d do it in front of me. I tried to convince myself of that, but I couldn’t be certain. The fear ate at me and all I could do was wait.
Tlaxanna’s guards watched me carefully, as though I was a dangerous animal that might lash out at any moment. It was almost amusing — what did they think I was going to do, attack them? When Tlaxanna was in reach it made sense to keep an eye on me, but now I was as harmless as I’d ever been.
The guards could not afford to take any chances with me, though. They were in the same position I’d been in before I escaped, and I knew exactly how much they’d suffer if they let me get away with anything.
At last, the door to the gladiator pits opened again and Tlaxanna stepped inside. Emma followed, subdued but unhurt, and I breathed again.
“Your lack of taste is almost insulting, Athazar,” Tlaxanna said, tossing her head. “It defies belief that you prefer this to me.”
I glared and stayed silent, motionless. She hadn’t come down here to taunt me, and I needed to know what she did have in mind.
After a moment she pouted and continued, a little peevish that I hadn’t responded to her jibe.
“As long as you do prefer her, though, I have thought about how you can make up for your defiance,” she continued. “I shall sponsor a tournament, and you will fight in my name. Kill in my name. Win in my name. Show the universe that you are mine, Athazar.”
“And if I do not?” I asked, needing to hear the threat out loud.
Her smile was that of a predator playing with its prey. “You know what I will do to your Emma if you fail me. She’ll suffer every pain I ever inflicted on you until she’s a broken thing. Or do you think that she can take punishment as well as you can?”
She might surprise you. I almost said it out loud, but I didn’t want to risk taunting Tlaxanna into hurting Emma. The idea of my mate being tortured as I had been, marked with the same scars I carried, was bad enough.
“I will not fight in your name. Punish me for my disobedience if you must, but leave her out of it. She is innocent.”
“Oh no Athazar,” Tlaxanna said, reaching up to run a finger across my cheek. The temptation to try to snap it off was almost unbearable, but I knew that I’d fail. The implanted agonizer would drop me if I tried to harm the princess. “No, she’s hardly innocent. She’s stolen your affections away from me, and I can’t have that.”
“You never had my affection,” I snapped, hearing the blood pounding in my ears. “Not ever, Tlaxanna. Emma’s done nothing to you.”
“I’ll be the judge of that,” she said. “And if you want to spare her the pain of my attentions, you will do as I say again.”
“I will not. I cannot live as your slave. You know that, Your Highness.” It was the hardest thing I’d ever said, knowing what I might be condemning Emma to, but keeping her safe would be impossible. If I tried to live as a slave for Tlaxanna again, I would fail, and she would take out her sadistic urges on my mate.
Behind the princess, Emma looked up and met my gaze. Nodded to me. She understood, as I knew she would. That was little enough
To my surprise, Tlaxanna laughed. “Don’t be silly, Athazar. I don’t expect you to live. I know you well enough to be certain that you’d fail me eventually, and neither of us wants the consequences of that. No, I expect you to fight for me, kill for me, and then die for me.”
I glared at her, for the first time uncertain, and waited for her to continue. The pause grew until eventually she relented.
“You will fight in my tournament and give it your very best. And if you make it to the end — as I’m sure you will — we’ll see how well you do against the beasts. Eventually, you’ll fail, and you’ll die, but I’ll have had my fun, and I swear I will keep Emma in comfort. I’ll find her work as an assistant or something; she won’t suffer.”
To my horror, that was an offer worth considering. If I had to serve Tlaxanna for any length of time, we both knew it would end badly. This was a
task I could actually hope to complete.
It would just break every rule I had set myself after escaping Tlaxanna’s clutches the first time. If it saved Emma, though, that would be worth it. My heart was torn between the two promises I’d made myself, and anger boiled inside me as I tried to decide.
Taking my silence for assent, Tlaxanna turned to leave.
“Wait,” I said. My body trembled with suppressed rage as she turned, and I tried to keep it in check.
“I’ll do it, on one condition,” I told her, hearing Emma gasp in the background. I couldn’t bear to look up at her. “You don’t keep Emma afterward. If I die in your service, you return her to her homeworld and let her live, free of any obligation to you.”
I wasn’t sure what I’d do if she said no. Could I really condemn Emma to the horrors that she’d face if I didn’t cooperate? But leaving her in Tlaxanna’s clutches meant that she’d face them eventually.
A sadist like Tlaxanna might mean her promises today, but what about in a year or a decade? Her sense of honor would only protect Emma so far.
The princess smiled slightly, an expression that made me shiver. I’d seen it too many times before something horrible had happened.
“I have no other use for her,” she said, and then shrugged. “I don’t make a habit of bargaining with slaves, Athazar, but in this case I will make an exception. Do me proud and I swear, on the divine blood of the Silent Empress, that I will return Emma to her homeworld unharmed, and leave her alone thereafter.”
Her fingers flickered to her heart and her lips, a gesture that sealed the sacred oath. Tlaxanna was a pious daughter of the Empress, and I relaxed, confident that she intended to honor that promise.
Now all I needed to do was die fighting for the person I hated most in the universe, and I’d have saved my beloved’s life.
Somehow, it didn’t feel like a victory.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Emma said, throwing her arms around me and holding me close. “Please don’t, not for me. I don’t want to see you die.”
“I will not let her harm you,” I answered, squeezing her tight. Every moment together might be our last, and I would not waste time being shy.
The guards watched us, wary of any escape attempt. I didn’t plan on trying anything so foolish: that hope had died with Tlaxanna’s arrival. There were too many people between us and safety to risk running now. No, the best way to keep Emma safe was for me to cooperate — and her safety was all that mattered to me.
Not to her, though. She smacked my arm hard enough to hurt — the training here was giving her muscles.
“Athazar, that woman is a monster! Don’t give her what she wants. For my sake.”
“For your sake, I must.” I lifted my mate, holding her close. “I’ve told you what I suffered, but that’s not the same as living through it. Trust me, you wouldn’t condemn anyone you cared about to that fate.”
“I’d face it for you,” she insisted, voice cracking. Despite her best efforts, she was losing control. “Gladly, willingly.”
I sighed. “I’d say you don’t know what you’re talking about, and it’s true. You don’t. But I know that you’d say the same even if you did.”
She squeezed me, pressing her face into my shoulder and holding on tight. Hiding her tears from me, I thought.
“I would. I’d do anything for you,” she said, voice muffled. I ran a hand through her hair as I held her tight.
“And I’d do no less for you,” I told her firmly. “This way I die fighting, and you live. The other, we both die in agony. There’s only one answer here.”
“There has to be something we can do,” she whispered. I shook my head.
“No. Sometimes all the options are bad, and all we can do is choose the best of them. I will not let you suffer for my mistakes, my foolishness.”
Emma laughed, a painful sound on the edge of tears. “Oh, Athazar, you idiot! This might save my life, but it’s not going to keep me from suffering.”
That hit hard. I couldn’t bear the thought that I’d cause her pain, but there was no way to avoid it.
Cheer up. You won’t have to see it for long. Sometimes I didn’t like my sense of humor very much.
“The deal is struck,” I said, trying to be firm. “Let’s not waste what little time fate has given us on fighting over it.”
Emma raised her head, mouth opening to object, and I silenced her with a kiss.
She melted against me, letting go of her tension in my arms as we each found solace in the other. This might be our last chance to see each other, to touch each other, and neither of us wanted to leave on a sour note.
The guards watched, impassive. I tuned them out — we’d grown used to having little privacy. Emma shot them a glance as our mouths parted, and for a moment I thought she was about to object. Then she shook her head, coming back in for another kiss.
Death would separate us but as long as we lived, we wouldn’t let fear of these men watching stand in our way.
21
Emma
It took Prodrirs five days to arrange the tournament, and we had the luxury of knowing we were safe for that time. There was no chance he’d risk either of us dying before Tlaxanna’s big day.
But that didn’t mean we got to enjoy it. Constantly watched by the princess’s guards, we had no privacy and no chance to talk. That was just as well, because our argument had become circular. Neither of us was going to change our minds, no matter what the other said.
Athazar’s determination to protect me was unshakable; so was my need to save him.
We spent most of the time in silence, either training or holding each other. The rest of the gladiators, even Gennafera, stayed as far away from us as possible. I couldn’t blame them: no one wanted to risk attracting Princess Tlaxanna’s attention, or that of her guards.
Being my friend would only bring the others pain. Being Athazar’s would be suicidal. I prayed that Gennafera would get out of this okay — bad enough that the man I loved was going to die; I didn’t want to lose my only other friend too.
Watching Athazar prepare to throw his life away to protect mine was horrible, but I couldn’t look away. He was making this sacrifice for me, and I had to honor it by watching. Even if it broke my heart, I had to.
When the time finally arrived, it was almost a relief; at least it would be over soon. The sound of the crowds outside was deafening, louder than I’d ever heard them, and I knew the stands were packed. This was a once-in-a-lifetime show, bringing in fans from around the planet and beyond.
Tears ran down my cheeks as I faced Athazar for what might be the last time. He seemed almost hollow, defeated, but he managed a smile as he looked down at me.
“Don’t cry, beloved,” he told me. “You’ll be safe now. I will give Tlaxanna the fight of her life, and then you’ll go home.”
Throwing myself at Athazar, I wrapped my arms and legs around him. He caught me, lifting and holding me tight.
“I’m home now, with you,” I insisted, clinging to him hard as I could. “I don’t want to go anywhere else.”
“You have to,” he said, strong hands gentle on me as he hugged me close. “If you care for me, please — live for me. Find joy again.”
I couldn’t imagine being happy without him, but I nodded. This was hard enough for Athazar as it was, and I refused to make it worse for him.
“I love you,” I whispered. “I love you more than anything.”
“And I love you, my darling Emma.” Athazar held me, and I felt a shiver run through him. The tension seemed to drain from him as he kissed me. This is our last kiss, I thought, trying to savor it. To burn the memory of him into my mind so I’d never forget.
“Time to go,” a guard said, almost kindly. “The crowd’s waiting.”
Athazar put me down carefully, pulling my arms away with a gentle but irresistible strength. His eyes were bright with tears as our gazes locked for a long moment, then nodded.
�
�Goodbye, my beloved,” he said, before turning and walking up the ramp towards the arena. As he went, he grabbed a sword from a rack, and I watched his stride change. It went from walking to prowling, the gait of a predator intent on the kill.
Whoever was facing him in the arena today would regret it.
“This way, girl.” The voice of the guard jerked me out of my thoughts, and I turned to face him. He glared at me impatiently. “Don’t keep Princess Tlaxanna waiting.”
I swallowed. Tensed. My fists closed, ready for a fight. “What the hell do you mean?”
He blinked, as though it hadn’t occurred to him that I might question him. “I’m not explaining myself to a slave,” he snarled. “Come on, or you’ll regret it.”
A bitter smile pulled at my lips. Not long ago this man would have terrified me, but now I felt anger instead of fear. Partly because I’d learned how to fight, partly because I didn’t have much left to lose.
“Your mistress promised Athazar I’d be safe,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “Are you going to break her promise for her?”
The guard turned to his companion, forehead wrinkling. It looked like he didn’t have much idea of how to deal with a slave he couldn’t threaten. The other guard shrugged.
“No,” he said after a pause, turning back to me. “Come with me or I’ll pick you up and carry you.”
He stepped forward, and I knew he meant it. Great. I could fight back, but I doubted they’d pull any punches if I resisted, and Tlaxanna would hardly count that as breaking her word.
It was still tempting. With my new training, maybe I could give them more of a fight than they’d expect. But I had no chance of winning, not against two armed and armored guards. Shoulders slumping, I nodded.
“Fine, I’ll come,” I said. “Keep your paws to yourself.”
He led me along a familiar path, back to Tlaxanna’s VIP box. Of course. She couldn’t help herself, she had to watch me suffer as my love died for her amusement.
