Unable to form words, Brice plopped next to him.
“So what are you going to do to fix this, Walker?”
“Exactly what she asked me to do. Leave her alone.”
* * *
“Brice?” Cassie called, groggy from the sedative Doctor Habersham had given her despite her vehement protest.
Had she truly gone nuclear with her meltdown? Or had it happened in one of her endless nightmares?
“Brice?” Cassie regretted the awful things she’d said in her moment of sheer panic. “Are you here?”
Only silence answered. She shuffled out of bed and into the living room. The cold realization that she was all alone settled in the marrow of her bones. Shivering did nothing to dispel the hopeless feeling.
On the kitchen counter, she found a cell phone, a set of keys and a carefully folded note. Fear snaked around her heart like a python, ever so slowly squeezing the life out of her. She realized then how callous it had been to leave a note for Brice.
Her hands shook opening the letter.
My dearest Cassie,
I’ll never regret the night I found you asleep in my bed. Nor can I forget how your touch warms my soul. You are my reason for living, but I cannot bear to be the cause of your fear.
I understand you need time to process all that has happened. Time to finish college and realize your dreams. I want to give you all the time you need, so I’ve agreed to work with the Woelfesenat on a peacekeeping project in Romania.
Please take care of the cabin in my absence. You know how much it means to me. The car in the driveway is from Rafe. It belonged to Lexi. It’s good for him to let go of her things, so please don’t give it back.
I will be close in spirit, Sunshine. Trust in me and in the bond that brought us together. I will return to you when I can. In the meantime, I leave you with these written words in the hope that one day you will want to hear them from my lips.
I love you with all my heart,
Brice.
A tidal wave of grief surged in Cassie’s chest, crushing her in sorrow and regret. She’d been stupid. Selfish. Unyielding and cruel. Still, Brice professed his love.
A burning pain exploded in her heart, propelling agonizing shrapnel up her throat, into her head and behind her eyes. Her knees refused to hold her upright. She sank to the cold tile floor, wishing for a hole to swallow her whole.
For the first time since she was seven, Cassie cried.
Chapter 40
A firm knock at the front door dragged Cassie from the lingering effects of the unwanted sedative and crying herself into exhaustion.
“Brice!” She jumped up and ran to the door. A stampeding rumble vibrated in her chest.
“Oh, Cassie!” Hannah reached for her. “I’ve been so worried.”
Instinctively Cassie stepped backward.
Hannah came to an abrupt stop. “Are you all right?”
Dear, sweet Hannah. Loving mother. Kind coworker. Savage wolf.
Would Cassie ever be able to look at these people and not see them as a bunch of wild animals?
For Brice’s sake, she had to try. She took a steadying breath.
“Physically, I’m okay.” She motioned for Hannah to come inside. “The rest I’m not so sure about.”
Hannah squeezed Cassie’s hand. “You look terrible.”
“Thanks.” Cassie’s forced laugh sounded strangled, and tears blurred her eyes. One by one they trickled down her face.
Hannah gave her a mother bear hug. “Now, now,” she cooed. “Everything’s going to be just fine. We’re good people, Cassie. Everyone’s worried sick about you.”
“Hello, Cassie.” Abigail Walker appeared in the doorway. “Forgive me for involving Hannah. I wasn’t certain you’d open the door for me, and I need to speak to you. May I come in?”
An involuntary tremor coursed through Cassie’s limbs. Hannah linked her arm around Cassie’s waist.
Cassie appreciated the support. “Of course, Mrs. Walker.”
“Call me Abby. There’s no need to be formal.” Sadness shadowed her smile.
“I need it to be this way.” Too much had happened in too short a time. In order to restore order in her life, Cassie needed some things to remain constant. “At least for now.”
Abby made her way into the living room. “As you wish.”
Cassie’s breath stuck to her lungs. Brice had said that, too. The moment she saw him, Cassie intended to take back everything she’d said about wanting him to leave her alone. That had been a bald-faced lie. She was through with lies. From this point forward, she vowed to speak only the truth or not at all.
“I’ll call you later,” Hannah said.
“You’re leaving me alone with her?” Cassie whispered.
“You’ll be fine.” Hannah smiled and closed the door behind her.
Abigail Walker sat politely on the couch. She looked delicate in cream-colored slacks and an emerald silk blouse, with not a hair on her head out of place. Nothing about her appearance suggested that hours ago, she had ripped out a man’s throat with her bare teeth.
“Where’s Brice?” Before listening to whatever Abigail Walker wanted to say, Cassie needed to make things right with Brice.
“On a plane to Romania with Philip,” Abigail said softly.
“He’s gone? Already?” Cassie edged over to the love seat and sat down, her hands limp in her lap. “I said awful things. I didn’t mean them. I wanted to tell him... I wanted him to know—” Cassie couldn’t push out the words, not when Brice couldn’t hear them or see how much she meant them. “He said he loved me.”
“Then he does, Cassie.” Abigail looked tired and weathered, and her mouth trembled with a tentative smile. “Brice doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean.”
“When will he come home?” Cassie wondered if the disassociated feeling of her body had anything to do with not being able to breathe. She longed to be tucked against Brice’s chest. His embrace grounded her and kept her from drifting into nothingness.
“No one knows, and we won’t be able to communicate with him until he returns.” Abigail rose gracefully and joined Cassie on the smaller couch. “I know that you were frightened by what happened this morning. What I did to Booker was something I had to do. One day, when you are a mother, I hope you’ll understand and forgive me.”
Abby unfolded the paper she pulled from her pocket and handed Cassie’s resignation letter to her. “I believe you were under duress when you wrote this. Take some time. Be sure of what you want.”
For the first time in a very long while, Cassie had no plan of action. Her heart hurt too much for her brain to figure out her next step. She had a place to live, a car and apparently her old job. She also had three new roommates waiting eagerly to welcome her and a new job on the college campus. “I don’t know what to do.”
Abigail smoothed back the tangled curls that curtained Cassie’s face. “You are irreplaceable to the resort and to my family, Cassie. I know this acknowledgment comes late. It is nonetheless true.”
Cassie traced her thumbnail over the lines in her palm. “You’re only saying that because you believe Brice will come back for me. He won’t. I know he won’t because I can’t feel him anymore.”
“You’re both hurting.” Abigail’s gaze searched Cassie’s face. “When your emotions settle, you’ll feel him, hear him again.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because I know my son.” Abigail patted Cassie’s leg. “Brice won’t give up. He loves you.”
“What if he made a mistake? What if everything between us is a fluke?”
“It isn’t.” Abigail’s eyes crinkled. “When Gavin found Brice and Mason after they were attacked, neither of them was breathing. Doc put them on life support but
didn’t give us any hope that either would survive.
“Before Brice left, he told us what you did when he was in the hospital, and we finally understood why we didn’t lose him along with Mason.
“Your presence touched Brice. You gave him hope, helped him fight to live. Through that terrible time, the two of you forged a bond. One so strongly rooted that it survived five years of separation before you even had a chance to know each other truly. Your bond will continue to thrive if you don’t shut him out.
“I know the things you’ve learned over the last week are difficult to process,” Abigail said gently. “Try to put that aside for now and just allow yourself to believe in Brice, because he has put all his faith in you.”
The ache in Cassie’s heart became a numbing throb. No matter how much she wanted to believe, a lifetime of broken promises had taught her not to get her hopes up. Something always came along to smash them to smithereens.
* * *
“Can I get you something to drink, Mr. Bartolomew?” The leggy flight attendant flashed a too-white smile.
“Scotch with a lemon wedge and two ice cubes.” Philip opened his briefcase.
“Mr. Walker?” She stooped next to Brice, thrusting her ample chest forward in his face.
“Water.” Disinterested, Brice turned his attention outside the window of the Woelfesenat’s private jet and focused on the dark blue waters of the Atlantic Ocean. Thousands of miles now separated him from Cassie. As much as it had nearly killed him to leave, he believed she needed time and space to work through her doubts and fears. He only wished that he would’ve had time to explain fully their connection through the mate-bond and the fact that she wouldn’t truly be alone.
“It’s been a horrendous week, Brice. How about something stronger?” The locks on Philip’s briefcase snapped closed.
“Cassie doesn’t like it when I drink.”
“She isn’t here to complain.”
“She’s always here, Philip.” Brice tapped his chest.
Philip chuckled. “Fetch our drinks, Penny. And tell Anthony to start our supper.”
“I’m not hungry,” Brice grumbled.
“He will be by the time supper is served.”
Brice not only heard the censure in Philip’s voice but also sensed the councilman’s ire. Unless sick or dying, wolfans didn’t turn up their noses at food.
“Yes, Mr. Bartolomew.” Penny’s footsteps receded.
A thick file landed in Brice’s lap. Irritated, he swung his gaze at Philip.
“Background information.” Philip adjusted his seat to a slight recline.
Brice smacked the folder on the small table between them. “I told you earlier, I’ll have time to read this in the car once we arrive in Bucharest.”
“I know,” Philip answered in a more gracious tone than Brice had given him. “I thought you could use the distraction.”
“You thought wrong.” Leaning against the headrest, Brice closed his eyes and counted.
Mason had taught him to count when angry. He’d said it would give him time to think rationally before responding.
Though Brice wasn’t angry, the rote calmed him, for a short while, anyway. This had to be the millionth time he’d counted since he left Cassie.
He called to her through the mate-bond. Nothing stirred in his soul except a hollow clang.
The small village where he and Philip would headquarter for the negotiations lacked modern conveniences such as phones and internet. His only connection to Cassie would be the mate-bond. He didn’t want to consider what would happen if she didn’t respond eventually.
“It doesn’t do any good to brood.”
“I’m not.” Brice snapped open his eyes. “I’m tired and frustrated and why the hell are you smiling like that?”
“Like what?” Philip feigned innocence.
“A hyena smoking weed.” Brice dropped his growl at Penny’s approach.
She set Philip’s drink on the table and handed Brice a chilled bottle of designer water.
“I can work out that tension.” Penny drew her fingers across Brice’s shoulders. “To help you relax.”
“Penny is an excellent masseuse.” Philip winked. “She has very talented hands, among other things.”
Brice caught her wrist before it drifted farther down his chest. “I don’t want to relax.”
“Are you sure I can’t change your mind?” She puckered her lips in a suggestive pout.
“I doubt Mr. Walker will need anything further, Penny.” Philip reached for his drink. “Except supper, of course.”
“Very well.” She gave Brice a lingering look.
Brice unscrewed the cap on the green teardrop bottle and downed the contents in one chug.
“Gulping isn’t good for your digestion.” Philip sipped his Scotch.
“You sound like my grandmother.” Brice scanned the jet cabin for a garbage can. Not finding one, he tossed the bottle into the empty seat across the aisle.
“Margaret was a wise woman.” Sadness dimmed Philip’s eyes. “Your grandfather was one of my closest friends. Yet I envied him because of how much she loved him.”
“You were in love with my grandmother?”
“No. I’ve never been in love. Never cared to be, except around them. They made it seem so amazing.” Philip sighed. “You asked why I smiled. It’s because watching you yearn for Cassie brings back memories of Nathan mooning over Margaret. You don’t look a damn thing like him, but you sure got a whopping dose of his personality.”
“Why is that so funny?” Brice frowned at Philip’s laughter.
“You’ve allowed a human female to knot you up, same as he did.”
“Make your point, Philip.”
“I wasn’t a believer in the mate-bond until I saw it thrive between your grandparents. Nothing in this world or beyond could’ve torn them apart.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“The same with your parents. And you and Cassie.”
“Things are different for us. She doesn’t believe in the bond, Philip. After everything that’s happened, I’m not sure that she will trust me enough to let me in.” Brice rubbed the ache in his chest that had persisted since Cassie’s rejection.
“You worry too much. The bond is what it is. It doesn’t wax or wane with the moon. It is a constant like the sun. Is it any wonder that you call her Sunshine?”
“I call her Sunshine because she makes me feel warm and alive. Now that we’re apart, I feel like crap. When we arrive in Bucharest, you’ll have my full attention. But for the time being, Philip, leave me the fuck alone.”
Chapter 41
Cassie sat on the edge of her chair and worried the tassel of the honor cord worn over her graduation gown.
She’d done it. She’d finally done it.
In a matter of minutes, Cassie would finally clutch that hard-earned degree in her hands.
The moment wasn’t as fulfilling as she had imagined.
At least she wasn’t alone. Somewhere in the building sat Hannah and Shane. Friends whom Cassie hadn’t realized were friends until a couple of months ago.
Squinting over a blob of faceless people, she searched for Brice, although he’d sent no word that he would come. She simply hoped.
The man next to her stood, and Cassie followed him to the area where the cum laude graduates waited for their names to be called. Moments later, she clicked her low heels across the stage to receive the fruit of her labors and sacrifices. Accepting the chancellor’s congratulatory handshake, Cassie wondered if what she’d gained was worth the loss.
I’m so proud of you, Sunshine.
Brice? Her lethargic heart cartwheeled. I knew you’d come! Where are you?
Cassie smiled at the photographer,
dying for Brice’s answer.
I’m always with you.
She walked away, smile still plastered to her face and disappointment clawing in her chest. She wanted him to be here physically. Not just in her head.
There were times she dreamed of his touch, of his loving her, and the dreams were so real that when she awoke her lips were swollen, her muscles were sore, and her skin tingled; but her heart always broke to discover the experience had been only her imagination.
Cassie returned to her seat and unfolded the note she had tucked in her sleeve. She smoothed the edges, frayed from the countless times she’d opened and reread her favorite part, I love you.
She loved him, too. Over the past three months, Cassie had realized that her efforts to escape the life her mother had given her had come to the same end. No roots, no ties. No worthwhile relationships to enrich her life.
In the short time Cassie had spent with Brice, there had been good and bad moments. And she would still rather have all those than none at all.
When the graduates stood one last time as a class, shouts went up along with a flurry of graduation caps. Then it was over.
Thank God for Hannah and Shane’s noses. They found her before the convergence of people swept her away.
“Congratulations!” Hannah squeezed her. “I’m so happy for you. I know how hard you worked.”
“I can hardly believe it.” Cassie stared at the certificate holder that in two weeks’ time would bear the official document validating her accomplishment.
Shane hugged her. “For someone who just got her degree, you don’t look all that impressed.”
“For a long time, I thought this was the most important thing in my life.” Cassie smiled. “Things aren’t important. People are, and you are two of my favorites.”
“Woo-hoo!” Shane twirled her in a tight circle. “It’s time to celebrate.”
Shane and Hannah whisked Cassie off to a surprise party at the resort. She drifted through the crowd of coworkers and more than a few pack members. They offered her congratulations, hugged her neck and kissed her cheeks. For all its pizazz, the party seemed surreal.
Slipping into the sanctuary of the employee break room, she sat at the round table where she and Brice had once shared a lunch. Had it been only three months? It seemed like a lifetime.
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