Cale released a sigh before locking her tightly in his arms. "I'm sorry."
She gave him a small smile. "I'm not. I never imagined it would be like that."
"Like how?" He rubbed her tummy gently.
"Like, with you, I could actually fly." She cupped his cheek, placing a tender kiss to his lips. "I do want you."
"And, you'll have me. Later." He tapped her nose with a finger then kissed the same area. "Maybe after a long hot soak in the tub."
"Promise?" Reaching around, she rubbed and massaged his lower back with one hand, unable to resist touching his glorious body, thrilled in the ability to finally experience skin to skin contact with this man.
"Promise." He whispered against her ear as he nibbled on the lobe.
"I love you, Cale." She muttered softly against his ear, flicking her tongue across it to seal the deal.
Cale's head jerked up, intensely searching her face.
Throwing caution to the wind, Lily said it again. Louder. "I love you."
He sat back on his haunches. One hand finger-combed through his short hair. All the while he sat quiet.
Lily's heart plummeted. It's okay. I love him enough for both of us. The thought didn't re-form the bubble of optimism that burst with his wordless reaction. "It's… I…" What was she supposed to say now? She could hardly take it back. But, at the same time, she felt idiotic spilling her innermost feelings to someone who obviously didn't return those same sentiments.
"This is harder than I thought."
The pained expression made her feel even worse. Her comment turned a magical morning into one full of awkwardness. Flipping over, she edged away, intent upon escape.
Cale refused to let her go. His hand snagged around her middle, pulling her flush against his front. "Wait. Please." He brushed stray hairs off her face. "I need to explain."
Lily tilted to get comfortable. Her gaze never left his face as she waited for him to speak.
He pulled in a deep breath and told her about Rachel, the woman who tore his life apart, shredded his heart, and drove a steel wedge in the relationship between him and his parents. He explained how he loved her, gave up everything for her, then felt the agony of her betrayal. "It killed something inside me."
She developed an instant hate for his ex. How could anyone do such a thing? Especially to Cale. He did nothing but care for others, putting his life on the line day in and day out to keep the world safe. He didn't deserve such betrayal. No one did.
His explanation made her realize something else. She didn't need to hear the words. His actions told her all she needed to know. No man could have been more understanding or gentle with her. Protective and kind. The words may never come, but she had her answer in each kiss, each caress, and every moment of pleasure he rained upon her. It may not be love, but it was in the same ballpark in her book.
Lily cupped his cheek. "I'm sorry. I wish I had something better to say to take away all the pain."
He nuzzled her palm. "I know."
"I still love you." She smiled up at him.
Relief and amusement flashed across his face, replacing strain and sorrow. "I…"
Her finger covered his lips, sealing in whatever he was going to say. "It's okay. You don't have to say the words. In fact, I would prefer you don't unless you really mean it and are comfortable saying it." She replaced the finger with her lips, softly meshing hers with his.
He responded in kind, gentle and lazy.
I could wake up every morning to this.
Cale broke off the kiss. Large hands gripped her shoulders and lightly rubbed. "We should stop before I get carried away."
Lily nodded. Later. She could wait a bit longer.
For his love, she could wait a lifetime.
Chapter 14
Monday arrived too quickly, forcing her back to work. Knowing Cale waited at home for her brightened the whole day and sent her zipping out the door at the first opportunity. They shared a chuckle when she explained how Carson took one look at her face that morning and slapped a script for birth control pills in her hand. The gesture garnered a blush then just as it had when the incident happened.
They had shared chores all holiday weekend long, playing with the growing kittens, and sharing an evening meal prepared by Cale. Often, they retired to the bedroom, Cale showering her with love, leading her to wonderful delightful bits of heaven on earth. He taught her, showed her, and gave her confidence in not only herself, but in their relationship. Everything felt right and happy in her world. She lived in bliss.
Until his phone rang Monday evening. Another job. Another location. They would pick him up at seven in the morning.
They spent all night in one another's arms, seeking peace and solace in their own quiet world, trying to make up ahead of time for his absence. Lily showered him with her love, needing him to understand her deep feelings, and realize that, unlike his former wife, she would be waiting for him, counting the hours until he returned.
All too soon, dawn arrived.
Her ideal life clashed with the real world, leaving her saddened and upset. A week with the man she loved wasn't nearly enough time. Lily's mind told her to be rational. She always knew he had a job that kept him on the move. On the other hand, her heart encouraged her to cling tightly to him, lest he walk out the door and never return.
"I'll be back. Don't worry."
Lily nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "I believe you."
He pulled her close, pressing butterfly kisses to her cheeks, soaking up the tears. "Then believe this. I've never had anything to come home to before. I know you'll be there waiting for me and nothing will keep me from returning to you. Promise."
"I love you, Cale." She hugged him all the tighter.
"I love you, too."
Stunned surprise stilled the hamster wheel inside her mind. The words she longed to hear. She could hardly believe her ears.
Cale grinned down at her, his heart in his eyes. "I mean it. I do love you."
So excited, she nearly bowled Cale over when she threw herself into his arms, squeezing him for all she was worth. "I love you, too. So much."
He chuckled holding her tight for a moment longer.
She rained kisses over his face, still giddy about his declaration. The moment bittersweet as he finally said the phrase she feared he might never utter to her, then having to immediately ride off into battle once more.
A horn honked behind them.
Coming back to reality, Lily wiped the tears from her eyes, looking up at Cale.
"I'll be back as soon as I can. Take care. You have our numbers in case you need them?"
She nodded. "I'll try not to be a pest." Last night, he gave her a list of important phone numbers but cautioned her that on most jobs they shut down communications for the protection of them and their loved ones. Technology could be easily traced and the men they dealt with had no problem using innocent people for a means to an end. Not only that, distraction could be deadly. After her experience with Lansing, she understood completely. The thoughts of how close they all came to a shootout at her house and possible death sent shudders down her spine.
"Never a pest, love." He gave her one final squeeze, a quick kiss, then picked up his gear and strode to the car. Spoon climbed out to open the back. Together they wrangled the large canvas bags into the vehicle, shutting the rear door afterwards.
Cale turned once more, looking at Lily as she stood in the doorway.
Her eyes riveted on him, trying to commit the image to memory.
With a tender smile and wave, he climbed into the car.
Lily watched until she could no longer see the tiny speck of black in the distance. Slowly, she shut the front door and headed for the couch. Tears overflowed once more, her heart aching at the sudden loss. He'll be back. That fact gave her a bit of solace, but she couldn't help the onset of loneliness at his departure.
A paw reached up to pat her cheek. Looking over, she saw Hope, sitting beside her
with a look of concern in her large expressive eyes. Lily immediately pulled the calico into her lap, taking comfort from Hope's loud purr. The kittens followed suit, Faith and Charity rubbed against her arms, setting their own engines to humming. She soaked in all their affection, happy to have them there. "What would I do without you?"
A few days ago, all she needed to combat loneliness was her little brood. Now, she needed Cale, too.
A few minutes later, she strode into her bedroom, needing to get ready for work. She paused at the familiar black jacket tossed across the comforter. A bright white paper rested on top. Perplexed, she picked up the note, quietly reading it to herself. This will keep you warm when I'm not there. Love you and see you soon.
Lily placed the note back on the bed using both hands to pick up Cale's coat. Pulling it close, she inhaled deeply, easily scenting his woodsy smell imprinted on the fabric. She couldn't help but smile. I might sniff this thing until the scent wears out. His consideration and generosity touched her deeply. It was a gift she would wear and treasure, thinking about him each and every time she pulled it on.
* * * *
Promptly at noon, her cell phone rang. Concern immediately flashed through her. Only Carson or Casey ever called and those were fairly few and far between since Casey delivered Adam and spent all hours of the day and night caring for him. Besides that, she was at work. If Carson needed her, he simply had to walk around the corner to the kitchen where she sat staring at her peanut butter sandwich with little interest.
Dillon's voice carried over the line. "Cale says I'm besotted. He said to ask you what it meant."
Lily giggled in relief and in sheer amusement. Leave it to Cale to pester Dillon mercilessly at any given opportunity. "Remember your first crush?"
"Blonde with big boobs in those music videos?"
She snorted. "No, silly Neanderthal. How you felt with your first crush in school." When he remained mute, she continued on with her explanation. "Well, it means you are doting and obsessed or infatuated with someone. You thought of her all the time, planned on when to see her between classes, carried her books, etc. Thus, you are besotted."
"Oh." Dillon went quiet for a beat. "Maybe I won't kick his butt like I promised after all."
"Uh, huh." She didn't believe that for a minute. "By the way, how's Della?"
"Absolutely wonderful."
She heard the sheer adoration in his tone. No doubt about it, he loved that woman from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. "Yep, you are definitely besotted."
"Hey!"
"I'm just agreeing with Cale." Lily picked at a potato chip. The unexpected call helped ease her loneliness with Cale leaving.
"You miss him." It wasn't a question.
"Yeah. A lot." She sighed into the phone.
"Don't worry. He's good at what he does."
She nodded then realized he couldn't see it. "I know. It's just hard."
"Yeah. It sucks being on this side." He waited a beat before speaking again. "You love him, huh?"
"More than I ever thought possible." Truth rang with those words.
"Ha! Welcome to the club!"
Lily burst out laughing. She could tell Dillon missed his brother nearly as much as she did. But, together, they would make it through until he returned.
"Lily, really. Call me. Anytime you want to talk. I'll be here. Doc won't release me back to work for a few weeks." He offered up, his voice going serious once more.
"I will. Thank you, Dillon. You made me feel better already."
"What are friends for?" With that, he hung up.
Lily clicked her phone off, smiling for the first time since Cale left.
* * * *
Lily returned to her old routine with work and home chores. The first week proved a challenge for everywhere she looked, a memory of Cale replayed in her head. She missed him more than she could say. But, with some pep talks from Carson, Casey, and Dillon, she slowly accepted his absence as well as any military sweetheart could. Not like there was much choice in the matter. He loved his job and she couldn't insist he find another. No. You love someone for who they are. Taking out the bad guys was simply a part of who Cale was.
Sure, she worried that he might never return for one reason or another. Deep down, she knew he would. He meant what he said. She simply needed a bit of faith and trust in order to make it through the days without him.
The no communication rule sucked. She lost count of how many times she wanted to call him up, make sure he was okay, and find out if he would return soon. Dillon coached her through that. More than once he pointed out the reasons not to distract Cale, rational ones she could certainly understand and abide by. It didn't stop her from sending him a quick text now and again, just to let him know she was thinking of him.
"He loves you, Lily. Have no doubt about it." Dillon reassured her one weekend over the phone. "You don't see the changes you made in him. But, I do. He will be back before you know it."
The words gave her strength to carry on for another week, throwing herself in her work. The girls were a huge help, cuddling up on her lap, and sleeping the cold nights lying against her in bed. They might not speak, but they sure made great listeners.
Speaking of the girls, Lily found another surprise Cale left for her. About a week after Cale left, Carson handed her a card. "It's from Tiger."
Curious, she quickly opened it, scanning the contents. "A gift card? To the vet?"
Carson smiled down at her. "He wanted to take care of the financial burden of getting the girls spayed and a few other items."
Her eyes began to water. He couldn't have left her a better gift. "But, it's too much money…"
"No. He said it didn't come close to what he owed you. Besides, he left me something as well." Carson shook his head.
"He did?" Lily couldn't imagine what it could be.
"He knew I wouldn't accept his money, same for you. So, he got crafty. Got you those gift cards. Sent me a complimentary weekend at a bed and breakfast fairly close to Casey's parents."
Lily smiled wide. Leave it to Cale to come up with the perfect thank you for Carson. His in-laws could watch Adam while the doctor and Casey spent some quality alone time together. Something they certainly needed.
"Wait until I see him again." She could think of many ways to show her appreciation. Some of those scenarios quickly turned erotic.
Carson burst out laughing. "Good thing you started taking those birth control pills. I imagine as soon as you see him, you'll drag him to your bedroom, and no one will see either of you for a good week."
Her face heated but she couldn't deny his words.
Chapter 15
Two weeks came and went without word from Cale. Lily continued the normal routine of her life, lecturing herself often not to worry. Whispers raced through her mind, flooding her with doubt now and again, before she shoved them away with sheer willpower. It wasn't like his job had set hours and down time like hers. He said he loved her and would return. Thus, he will.
The girls had been spayed Monday, thanks to Cale's gift. All tolerated the procedure well and had, for the most part, resumed their usual daily activities. Certainly, the surgery didn't make even a small dent in their appetites. More than once, she considered buying stock in the company that made their cat food. Yet, as much as she commented on the amount and cost of the food, she would do whatever it took to keep providing it for her girls. Never again did she want to see a half starved cat, desperate to survive. It broke her heart seeing Hope in that condition and put a smile on her face each time she compared the plump healthy feline to what she had been before. Each homeless animal had such potential if only given the chance. Hope showed her appreciation each and every day, being the most affectionate and loving cat Lily had ever known.
Friday evening arrived with a cold snap complete with frigid wind gusts, enough to take your breath away. She hadn't heard the latest weather forecast, but if snow fell from the dreary sky, it wouldn't be a sur
prise.
Nearly home, Lily noticed something unusual. A small black SUV sat in her parking place. She didn't recognize the vehicle or the license plate, an out-of-state tag. Unease settled over her as she considered the possibilities and what she should do about each one.
Moments later, fear fled like rain in the desert when she recognized the tall man leaning on the front bumper of the unfamiliar car. Joy and relief engulfed her as Cale glanced up and smiled.
Hastily, she parked the car and jumped out, racing to throw herself in Cale's arms. "I can't believe you are here! I've missed you so much!" She spoke against his ear, holding him tight.
He chuckled, gave her a hard squeeze before pulling back just enough to cover her mouth with his for a quick kiss of greeting. "I missed you, too."
She met his eyes and searched his face. "Are you okay?" Her hand automatically went to his jacket, tunneling under, to check for any injuries or wounds.
He shivered as her hands found bare skin on his belly. "Your hands are like icicles."
"I think you told me once that cold hands only made your blood run hotter."
He leaned over enough to rub his nose against hers, tugging her hands from under his shirt. Wrapping his fingers around hers, he tried to warm them. "I said your hands, not cold hands, sugar."
"Oh, was that it?" She teased him, unable to wipe the smile from her face in sheer happiness at seeing him again.
"Uh, huh." He gave her another squeeze and chaste kiss on the mouth. "Let's go inside where it's warm."
Lily grabbed her purse out of the car, along with a small stack of library books, locked it, and then returned to Cale.
His gaze settled on the burden in her arms. "Plan on reading a lot this weekend?"
"Well, I did." The heat settled in her cheeks as he pulled the top book off the stack, looking at its cover. For some reason, his knowing she read juicy romance novels pinged her embarrassment.
An eyebrow arched up after he turned the book over to read the back. "Romance, huh?"
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