by Every, Donna
Chapter 14
The smell of bacon frying and something baking greeted Shari as she walked into the kitchen. Nothing had changed except new curtains and a new mat in front of the kitchen sink. With a pang, Shari realized that she missed home; missed being looked after every once in a while. Raleigh, where she lived in North Carolina, really wasn’t that far from her mum in Charlotte so she really should make a greater effort to visit her more often and stop being so consumed by work. After all, her mum wasn’t getting any younger.
“That smells wonderful, Ma. What are you baking so early in the morning?”
“Cornbread. It’ll be out in five minutes, hon. Would you like a cup of coffee now?”
“No, thanks. I think I’ll wait for the bread to come out. Although I shouldn’t even be eating that stuff.”
“Please, Shari! I hope you’re not getting obsessive about your weight or anything like that. To tell the truth, you could do with a few more pounds.”
Shari smiled. Nothing had changed.
“Relax, Ma. I’m not anorexic or anything. I’m just trying to eat healthier.”
Shari’s mother looked her over, noting the slight strain on her face. Something was not quite right, but she didn’t know what it was. She decided not to pry, but to wait until Shari felt like telling her about it, if she did.
Instead, she said: “I hope your room is OK after the ones you’ve been staying in. I know that you must be accustomed to that lifestyle now,” she teased.
“Not you too, Ma!” scolded Shari. “Nick Badley accused me of the same thing, but he wasn’t so nice about it.” Shari scowled, remembering how horrible Nick had been on that limo ride. She couldn’t help contrasting him with the Nick who had held her after throwing Tim out of their suite. Why couldn’t he be like that all the time?
“I swear that he’s like two people. Or more. I really can’t seem to pin him down. One minute he’s being a typical, over-indulged rock star and then in another he seems like a normal person.”
“Isn’t he a normal person?”
“You know what I mean, Ma. He’s human, but when he’s on the stage, it’s as if he becomes superhuman. He’s like a totally different person. And then you see all these fans screaming over him and crying and pulling their hair and it’s so weird. It’s as if he’s some kind of god to them.”
“What about to you?”
“To me? Definitely not! I only have one God in my life. It’s really strange, though, and I wouldn’t admit this to anyone except you, but when I’m with him in public, getting out of a limo or walking into a club, I feel kind of important because I’m with Nick Badley. When I see him on stage, I feel in awe of the power he has over his fans and then I feel special that I’ve been close to him the way none of them has. It’s kind of pathetic and so unlike me. I hope he’s not becoming an idol to me.”
“It’s just that people like him seem larger than life and that makes people want to know all about them, but I’m sure your head is still firmly in place.”
Shari wasn’t so sure about that. “Oh, by the way, he said to tell you hello and not to stop praying for him.”
“That was nice of him and I haven’t stopped praying because I don’t think he’s beyond redemption. I’d love to meet him some time and see for myself what he’s really like.”
“Well, I can’t see that happening. Remember, Ma, this is a job not a relationship.”
“You never know what can happen,” said her mother, going to the oven. She removed a pan of cornbread and put it on a rack to cool. Bending down again, she took out another pan, humming softly to herself.
Shari had a feeling of wellbeing and comfort as she looked at her mother with love. Her father had suddenly died of a heart attack when she was in high school and it had been just the two of them since then. Thankfully he had been well insured so they had not had to struggle. Her mum must be lonely now that she had moved to North Carolina to work. She suddenly looked at her mother with new eyes and realized that she was an attractive woman and only fifty-two.
“Ma, why did you never get married again?”
Her mother looked up in surprise.
“I guess I never met anyone after your father died that I was interested enough in to think about marriage. I’m not lonely, if that’s what’s worrying you. I keep very busy. What about you? Rob left four years ago and I haven’t heard you talk about anyone seriously. You can’t let one experience sour you for life.”
“I’m not soured; I’ve just been focusing on my career and helping out in the community through my church. There seems to be a shortage of single guys in the church and I haven’t come across any that I’ve found interesting. ” Until now, she added silently.
“Until now?” Shari almost fell off her chair. Had she said that out loud? Her mother smiled. “You don’t have to say anything, but you’ve talked about Nick Badley enough for me to tell that you’re interested.”
Shari groaned. “I’m not interested in him. I’m not! Oh, I don’t know, Ma. How can I be interested in a man who slept with two women at the same time? And who knows what else? He would laugh me out of the room if he knew that I believe in abstinence. Now.” She added quietly.
“Two women at the same time? Have mercy!” Her mother’s eyes opened wide.
Shari nodded. “At least I think so because he never admitted it, but I saw them walk out of his bedroom with my own two eyes. How could I ever trust someone like him? Not that we would ever have that kind of relationship. After all, he’s Nick Badley and I’m an unknown journalist. Besides, our values are poles apart.”
“Maybe all of that is just a façade but, underneath it, he’d probably like a genuine relationship with someone who’s not out to get him because of who he is, but someone who will be totally honest with him and who he can be himself with.”
“Maybe, Ma, but that doesn’t mean that someone is me. And, quite frankly, I don’t know if I would want to live my life in the limelight. It all seems so superficial and purposeless. Anyway, why are we talking about this? There will never be a relationship between Nick and me.”
“Perhaps you’re in his life for a reason. Maybe to help him to change.”
“I don’t know what that reason could be and I’ve seen no evidence of any change since I’ve known him.”
“Shari, you’ve only known him for about a week! You expect to see change already?”
Shari laughed. “You’re right. Why does it feel as if I’ve known him for so much longer?”
“You don’t always have to know someone a long time to know them.”
“True,” Shari mused. She knew a lot more about Nick than she knew about some of her colleagues whom she’d worked with for years. He had openly shared his life with her and she’d had the opportunity to see many aspects of his character. Some she liked and some she could do without.
“Has anyone told you lately that you’re a very wise woman?” Shari teased her.
Her mother smiled.
“So your Nick may seem like he’s a lost cause, but there’s always hope. His music no doubt brings enjoyment to thousands of people so he is doing good in some way. Perhaps one day he’ll write music that will encourage and uplift people, rather than songs like “Moving On”.”
“He’s not my Nick, Ma. And what do you know about “Moving On”?”
“I’ve done my research on YouTube.” They laughed together. “So maybe that’s what you’re in his life for; to help him to know that he doesn’t have to sing those kinds of songs.”
“Maybe he’s chosen to, Ma.”
Shari mused over what her mother said as she went to the cupboard to take down a plate while her mother made her a cup of coffee. She was in Nick’s life for a few more weeks. Was she in fact there to help him find himself in some way? She wondered how he was doing and how he was handling the tragedy now.
“Oh, Nick, that was awesome! You’re the best.” Lexi Craven draped her still sweaty body across his chest as he lay back
on her bed, recovering from their marathon lovemaking session. OK, call a spade a spade, Nick thought. Make that marathon sex session.
“I’ve always wanted to make it with you, Nick. Even when you were married to Jo, but she was my best friend so I had to be satisfied with fantasies. I do have some scruples, you know. So I couldn’t believe my luck when I ran into you in the bar last night. I didn’t even know you were back in town. I didn’t plan to go to the bar, but fate must have guided me there.”
Nick wished she would quit talking. If he wasn’t so exhausted he would offer to put her mouth to better use.
He’d gotten to his parents’ house the day before and was glad to see them, but his mother was convinced that talking about what happened at the concert would make him feel better. He, on the other hand, didn’t agree. In fact, he wanted to forget about it for a while, if that was possible. In the end, his dad intervened and managed to persuade his mother not to miss her women’s group meeting at church just because Nick was home and offered to take her.
Nick could have hugged his dad, who winked at him as soon as his mother’s back was turned. It was good to be with them, but what he really needed was to relax and not think about the concert for a while. He was failing miserably at that as it was, so, as soon as his parents left, he hit the road and headed for one of his old hangouts. It hadn’t changed much since his last visit a year ago and he’d been glad to see some of his old friends. Some of them weren’t comfortable around him anymore, but he was glad for the ones who treated him like the same Nick Badley.
He’d already had several drinks when Lexi came in. When she spotted him in the bar, she practically jumped on him in glee. She and his ex-wife had been best friends so, although she was hot, he’d always done the honorable thing and looked the other way. It was weird, but he’d still had a twinge of guilt, as if he was somehow betraying Jo, as he followed Lexi to her place. Fortunately, it disappeared as fast as it took her to peel off her camisole.
Now he just wanted to leave. She’d served her purpose and he’d served his. At least he hadn’t thought about the tragedy in the last few hours, but he really didn’t want to be there anymore. He liked Lexi all right, but she was no challenge to him at any level. Not intellectually, not sexually and definitely not morally. Not like Shari. He was developing this annoying habit of thinking about her at unexpected times.
He could picture her shaking her head in disgust if she could see him now and she would no doubt lecture him on the girlfriend code where you should never sleep with your ex-girlfriend’s friends, far less your ex-wife’s best friend. He smiled as he pictured her shocked face when she’d asked him about the two girls in Vegas. She didn’t know half of what people in the business got up to or she’d be really shocked. He certainly wasn’t the worst.
“What are you smiling at?” asked Lexi.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he hedged, getting up and reaching for his clothes on the floor.
“You’re leaving?” She sounded disappointed.
“Yes, I need to get home before my parents wake up or they’ll be wondering where I am.” Did that really sound as lame as I think it did? Still, he hoped that it would be good enough to get by Lexi.
“Oh, all right. How long will you be in town?”
“Just a few days. I have a concert in Miami on the ninth.”
“It’s funny, Nick, but I forgot that you’re a big superstar. Emphasis on ‘big’,” she giggled.
Nick smiled at her and pulled on his T-shirt. “That’s what I like about you, Lexi. I’m the same Nick to you. Thanks for last night and this morning.” He leaned over and kissed her on the lips. “See you.”
His body was sated, but he felt as empty as a deflated balloon. He and Lexi had spent the night getting intimately acquainted, but he felt absolutely no connection with her. He couldn’t remember the last time that he’d felt a connection with anyone, apart from when he’d held Shari in his arms a couple of nights ago.
Chapter 15
The opening bars of David Guetta’s “Titanium” filtered into the kitchen from another room. Shari scrambled up from her chair, tracking the sound since she couldn’t remember where she had left her phone. She must really be in holiday mode because it was usually joined to her hip, sometimes literally, in a belt clip.
By the time she found it, Sia was already singing, “You shout it out, but I can’t hear a word you say”. Although the song was several years old it had helped her to get through the days and months after Rob left. It had become her anthem, encouraging her to be bulletproof, resilient. It was an unknown caller. She debated whether or not to answer it for a second, but at the last moment hit the answer button.
“Hello?” she said, walking back to the kitchen.
“Hello yourself, Shari Goodwin.”
Her heart leaped and started racing. What on earth was Nick Badley doing calling her and how did he get her number? Stupid question. Nick could get anything he wanted.
“Nick? What on earth…?”
“Have I succeeded in making you speechless?”
“You’ve managed to do that on more than one occasion.” She hoped he didn’t notice how breathless she sounded.
“You sound breathless. Do I take your breath away?”
She cringed at how accurate he was. She would never let him know how he was beginning to affect her.
“I’m just stunned that you’re up before seven in the morning.” She ignored his question.
“It’s actually close to four. I’m at my parents’ in California.”
“And you didn’t think that I’d be in bed at four o’clock in the morning? Fortunately, I’m in South Carolina at my mum’s.” He was so thoughtless sometimes. Whatever Nick Badley wanted to do he just did and too bad for everyone else.
“Sorry, Shari, I didn’t think. I missed you so I just called.”
She mentally put on her bulletproofing against his charm. “How did you even get my number?”
“Lily, of course.” Of course.
“So why is it that she gave you mine but didn’t give me yours? Was she afraid I would sell it to the highest bidder?”
He laughed.
“I know you would never do that, Shar. I’ll send it to you. Call me any time you want to.” Shar? Please!
“I can’t imagine I’ll need to call you since I’ll be seeing you in Miami in a few days. So what did you call me about?”
Her mum discreetly left the kitchen with a slight smile on her face.
“I don’t know. Nothing in particular. I just came home, but I couldn’t sleep. Every now and then the concert comes back to haunt me.”
Shari felt her defenses falling. “I try to do things to forget about it, but when I’m done…”
“What have you been doing?”
He laughed mirthlessly. “You don’t really want to know.”
Shari rolled her eyes. She could just imagine. She was right to steel herself against Nick.
“What have you been doing?” he asked her
“Not a lot. I only got here last night and I was about to sit down to a breakfast of bacon, eggs and cornbread with my mum who is intent on fattening me up.”
“Tell her you’re perfect as you are.”
“You are full of it, Nick Badley.”
He couldn’t help flirting. He’d probably come straight from some woman’s bed to call her. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? What was she thinking? Of course it was a bad thing!
“I meant your body. I certainly didn’t mean your personality. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a harder woman.” He didn’t really mean that. She could be soft and vulnerable, he thought, remembering how she had cried in his arms.
“I’m hard? Just because I’m not falling all over you? I have no desire to be listed as a home run in the Nick Badley score book.”
“What are you talking about? Do you think I keep score of how many women I’ve had relationships with?”
“Of co
urse you don’t keep score. That would be impossible! Anyway, I hardly think that sleeping with someone constitutes a relationship.”
“I’ve definitely missed you going for my jugular. I must be masochistic.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that you’re into that as well,” she scoffed.
He laughed.
“What would a good girl like you know about masochism?”
“I wasn’t always good,” she replied. “I had my BC days.”
“Oh, I’m sorry that I didn’t know you then. I’d love to hear more about your BC days. Does BC mean what I think it means?”
“Depends on what you think it means. I’m glad I’ve managed to divert your thoughts for a few minutes, but my breakfast is going cold. I really have to go. See you in Miami.”
She disconnected the call before he could say anything else. Her conscience tapped her on the shoulder. OK, that may have been a bit rude, but Nick Badley seemed to know exactly which buttons to push. He thought she was hard? Well good, because she didn’t want him to know exactly how soft she was becoming when it came to him.
Nick looked at the phone in disbelief. Shari Goodwin had just ended the call on him. He was shocked. He, Nick Badley, had called a woman, told her that he missed her, told her that she was perfect and meant it and she hung up on him. Who would do that but Shari Goodwin? A reluctant smile tugged at his lips and then spread to his whole face. She was definitely not boring. She was the perfect person to keep his ego in check. What was this thing about BC?
The bacon was now stone cold and Shari frowned at it as she debated whether to put it in the microwave or not, in case it turned soggy. Thanks to Nick Badley. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t care less about the bacon. Nick had gone to the trouble of getting her number and had called her. He said he missed her. Don’t go there, Shari. Remember the two women who walked out of his room in Vegas? What about the one in Denver? And there was probably one that he slept with last night. That is not someone you want to get involved with. You said you don’t want to be another home run in his book and having a serious relationship with Nick is as unlikely as you making a number one record.
