by Linda Verji
Rubbing his chest, he collapsed back into his seat.
She was gone.
CHAPTER 27
Hours later, Aiko stood in her old room above her father's garage. It felt surreal to be here, as if she'd traveled back into a time that wasn't hers. She still couldn't believe that she was back here - that Damián had kicked her out of his house. She supposed she should've been angry at him for breaking their contract so abruptly. She should've been scared because the end of their contract meant that she was back at square one; no money to pay their mortgage and her father's medical bills.
Yet, all she felt was numbness.
In hindsight, refusing the money was hasty. It wasn't like she didn't need it. But the pain of being discarded so easily by the man she loved and her injured ego had been guiding her actions. The same feelings had pushed her to make her abrupt departure from his house. In that moment all she could think of was that she needed to get out of there before she embarrassed herself by bursting into tears or, worse, begging for him not to let her go.
The moment she'd left his study she'd headed to hers and Seraphina's rooms to pack up. Surprisingly, bundling up their life in the Colter home didn't take long - even with her hands trembling in shock. Within two hours, Gertie, Emily and Lizzie were helping Aiko cart her luggage down the stairs.
She'd stopped by Zoe's room to say goodbye, but the girl was napping. Actually, it was a relief not to have to say goodbye to her. It was hard enough saying goodbye to the rest of Damián's staff. Aiko wasn't sure that she would've kept the calm façade she was pretending if confronted by Zoe's questions.
But it was only as she was leaving Colter property that the full impact of what had happened hit her.
It was over.
Damián was no longer in her life.
No, her heart rejected the thought. She was just dreaming this. If she closed her eyes tight enough when she opened them the clock would've turned back.
She'd wake up to find that it was still Sunday. It would be that moment before Damián had kissed her - the moment before Zoe had walked in on them. Somehow, she'd find the strength to resist the pull of that kiss. And by the time Zoe walked in there would be no disaster - just two people standing by the piano talking. Everything would be as it should be and their farce of her being just the nanny would still be intact.
And she wouldn't have to leave.
Stopping at a red-light, Aiko had closed her eyes tightly. But the sound of a car hooting behind her had forced her to open her eyes. When she did only disappointment met her. Her car's clock said that it was still Monday. The day after the disaster.
This was no dream.
Shock was replaced by numbness.
Not even her family's surprise to see her back had been enough to shake her out of that numbness. She'd answered their questions with a short and unemotional 'I was fired'. Fortunately, they seemed to read her mood and the questions ceased. Even Femi seemed lost for words.
Dinner had been a silent and awkward affair. Aiko didn't know how she managed to fork food into her mouth seeing as everything tasted like cardboard and sadness. But she managed it. After dinner she'd carried an already sleeping Seraphina back to their flat.
Here they were back in a home that did not feel like home.
Aiko smoothed the covers over Seraphina before straightening to her full height. She headed to her closet to change into a nightdress. Once adequately attired for sleep, Aiko walked slowly to her bed and stared at it. Somehow it felt wrong to climb in along, to huddle up alone. This bed felt foreign like it belonged to someone else.
Tears pricking at her eyes, she moved to the window and pushed aside the drapes to stare outside. She didn't even know what she was looking for out there. Maybe for him to send Virgil and that Cadillac to come and chauffeur her back to his home? Maybe for him to come on his own this time? Maybe for him to bound up the stairs to her flat and tell her that he was just punking her - she could come home?
Aiko didn't know how long she stood by the window but a sudden knocking on her door pulled her from her staring. She opened the door to find Femi standing at the threshold.
"I hope I didn't wake you."
"No, I wasn't asleep yet." Aiko stepped aside to let her in. "Is something wrong?"
Femi crossed the room to sit on Aiko's bed. "No, nothing's wrong, "she added pointedly, "at least not on our end."
Ah! Aiko should've known that her sister wouldn't remain lost for words for long. Femi was probably here to berate her for losing a good portion of their income and to give her some sort of ultimatum. Folding her arms over her chest defensively, Aiko ambled to the only couch in the room and settled down. "Meaning?"
Femi eyed her suspiciously. "Meaning, something happened to you tonight."
"Yes. Something happened. I got fired," Aiko said curtly. "I know what you're thinking and I promise I'll find another way for dad to-"
"Forget that for a moment," Femi interrupted. She studied her sister for a long quiet moment then sighed. "Aiko, I know that you and I aren't… that Kalila and Misha are the ones you share your problems with. But you can talk to me too."
Aiko nodded weakly. "I know."
"I know that sometimes I can be-" Femi paused as if searching for the right word. "- intense…"
Aiko had to smile at that because 'Intense' was Femi's middle name.
Femi continued, "… but that doesn't mean that I don't care about what happens to you or that I'll just sit by if you're not okay. You're my sister and I love you."
Surprise pierced through Aiko's sadness as she tried to recall any other moment when Femi had ever told her that she loved her. Her sister just wasn't the most expressive person out there and preferred to show her love with actions and not words. Aiko offered a tentative, "I promise I'm okay. It was just a job."
"Was it?" Femi's brown eyes watched Aiko intensely. "Then why does it feel like something more than just losing your job happened tonight? I've seen you lose jobs before and you're always so quick to bounce back, planning your next step and next option before you're even out the door. You weren't even this sad when you discovered that we might be losing Heart Connections. Immediately you were asking me for Mom's books and asking Lewis for marketing ideas. But this seems to have…" Femi paused. "… taken the steam out of you. The only time I ever saw you like this was when you came back from the army."
Aiko's surprise grew tenfold. Did she really look that bad? The concern in Femi's face was real as real could be. Suddenly Aiko felt compelled to tell her the truth. She quietly confessed, "I wasn't really a nanny."
Her sister's brow folded in confusion. "Then what were you?"
"I was Damián's fiancée," Aiko confessed.
Femi's eyes blinked in rapid succession. "I'm sorry, what?"
"It's not what you think. He hired me to be his daughter's mom…" Aiko started. For the next couple of minutes she detailed for Femi the exact nature of her agreement with Damián and Zoe's part in it.
Despite herself, she found herself coming clean about the sexual relationship with Damián. That drew a shocked arch of Femi's eyebrows, that had Aiko pleading, " Please stop looking at me like that- like you're judging me."
"I'm not judging you." Femi rubbed her palm over brow as she shook her head. "I'm just…. I don't know. You did all this so we could keep the house?"
Aiko nodded wordlessly.
Femi stared at her sister for a long time, sadness in her eyes. She sighed. "This is my fault."
"What?" Aiko's face creased in confusion. How was this her sister's fault?
Femi's shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. "I'm the one who pushed you into this."
"No one pushed me into anything," Aiko protested. "I decided to take his deal all on my own."
"But only because I forced you to," Femi countered. "I know you, Aiko. You would never have done something like this unless you felt you had no other choice."
This certainly wasn't how Aiko had seen this conversation
going. The Femi she knew would've been telling her about how sleeping with a man for money was not just sinful but repulsive. The Femi she knew would've asking her why she couldn't just let things with their father be. She certainly wouldn't be this understanding of Aiko's actions or, even more surprisingly, blaming herself for them.
"This isn't your fault." Aiko moved from the loveseat to sit beside her sister on the bed. "You were carrying too much weight, and it was time for me to start helping out more."
"But I let you do everything." Femi shook her head as remorse glimmered in her eyes. "It wasn't right to make you pay the mortgage and Daddy's nursing bills. Kalila and I should've been sharing the responsibility with you; not letting you hustle on your own. He's our father too."
Aiko said, "None of this is you guys' fault. All of this was my choice. I decided to take all the responsibility for Dad's care. I took myself to Damián. I signed the deal with him. And I'm the one who was stupid enough to fall in love with him."
That last part fell before Aiko knew it. As soon as she realized what she'd said, she stopped speaking. But she should've known Femi would catch it.
Femi's eyes widened. "You're in love with him?"
Aiko answered the question with silence. This was the first time she was putting her feelings into words and she wished she could take them back. Saying the words wasn't going to change her situation; if anything it only made her feel worse about it.
"I can't say I'm surprised," Femi said quietly.
Aiko's head reared back. "What does that mean?"
"I mean, you've always been the romantic one." Femi shrugged. "There's no way you could sleep with a man without feeling some type of way about it."
"Yes, I can," Aiko protested. "And I'm not the romantic one."
"Girl." Femi eyed her knowingly. "You run a matchmaking agency."
Aiko wanted to defend herself, say that the only reason she was running Heart Connections was because there'd been no one to run it after their mother had died. But to be honest she enjoyed her job. She enjoyed making people happy, seeing them in love. There was nothing more heartwarming than seeing that spark in someone's eyes when they finally found their one. Maybe she was a romantic after all.
"What about him?" Femi interrupted her thought.
"What about who?"
"Damián?" Femi clarified. "How does he feel about you? Is he in love with you too?"
Aiko had to chuckle at that. Her answer was an amused but unequivocal, "No."
"Did he tell you that?"
"No. But I know him. He's not in love with me."
"Are you sure?" Femi insisted. "Are you really sure?"
Aiko's instincts stumbled at that. Was she really sure? He'd never said anything to indicate that his feelings were anything other than lust. His actions were, however, less decipherable. The way he'd held when they made love, the way he'd come to her for comfort when he was trying to deal with Zoe, the way he looked at her sometimes…
"No," Aiko said firmly, the denial more for her than it was for Femi. "He's not in love with me."
There was no point in building up a romantic image of Damián in her mind. They weren't star-crossed lovers, just business partners with an agreement as clear as the dotted line it was signed on. Damián had made his feelings for her clear when he'd gotten rid of her without a second thought. It wasn't his fault that she'd been hurt by his actions. She was the stupid one for investing more in their relationship than their contract had asked for.
"Okay then." Femi stood up. She headed for the door, removed Aiko's robe from a hook behind the door, and threw it towards her. "Let's go."
Aiko caught the robe easily. "Go where?"
"To the kitchen," Femi said. "I've got plenty of break-up ice-cream there."
"Damián and I didn't break up," Aiko said, even as she stood to put on the robe.
"Yes, you did." Femi's voice brooked no argument. Opening the door, she said, "And bring your notebook."
"For what?"
"So we can plan on how to get you another job." Femi threw over her shoulders as she exited the room. "We've still got bills, you know."
Aiko laughed. There was the Femi she knew.
IT WAS TOO late! Damián acknowledged as he shifted his food around his plate unenthusiastically. He'd thought he didn't have feelings for Aiko, but the last week had proved that he was lying to himself.
Seven days ago, she's walked out of his home and life. But the pain was still as fresh as if it'd just happened this morning. His days were haunted with thoughts of her, wondering where she was, what she was doing. But the nights were worse. Dreams of her crowded his sleep, torturing him with hints of her face, her smell, her taste, her hold. He hated waking up to the cold, to the emptiness of not having her in his arms.
He missed her.
With every fiber of his being and every piece of his heart, he missed her.
And that's how he knew that it was too late. He'd fallen for her; hook, line and sinker, like an anchor thrown into deep waters. There was no denying or escaping it. There was no denying the emptiness he felt whenever he thought of her - which was all the time. There was no escaping the sadness that eclipsed him every night he went to bed alone.
He'd felt this sad emptiness after Jeanine had betrayed him. But for some reason, it felt worse this time. He didn't even know how this had happened. After all the heartbreak he'd endured, he really thought that he had his heart under lock and key. But Aiko, it seemed, had lock-picking skills that he was unaware of because right now he was open.
Open and hurting.
"Daddy, you're not eating." Zoe cut into his thoughts, drawing his attention to her.
Her appearance had changed drastically in the last week. The platinum hair was gone, replaced by midnight-dark hair like his. Her eyes were also back to gray - no more weirdly blue contacts. He didn't know what had happened to cause the change, but it was the only good thing that had happened this week. And even though Damián's heart was breaking, he was still happy for his daughter.
Looking up from his almost full plate, he offered her a smile. "I think I'm just full. I ate at work."
Zoe shot him a disbelieving look but didn't say anything more. He was relieved she let the subject drop. How did one explain to a twelve year-old that he was love-sick?
He had to wonder what Aiko was feeling. Was she missing him too? No. That was wishful thinking. Why would she miss him? Unlike him, she wasn't stupid enough to fall in love. Had she had feelings for him she would have fought harder for them. But she hadn't, had she? Her not taking the money had confused him at first - but after a few days he'd decided that it was just her sense of fairness driving her, not sentiment.
It was better that she was gone, he convinced himself. At least now he didn't have to wake up every morning to her face, to the knowledge that he was in love with a woman who didn't love him back. Experience had taught him that it was no fun being the only one in love.
"Have you finished your homework?" Damián asked his daughter in a bid to distract himself.
Fortunately for Zoe, the school had stuck her with just a ten-day suspension, and Knox parents were not suing. But to make sure she understood that her actions were unacceptable, Damián had grounded her for one month, and revoked her electronic and allowance privileges. He'd also hired a tutor to make sure she kept up with her studies over her suspension period. This was no holiday for her.
"Some of it." Zoe wrinkled her nose. "The business assignment is giving me a bit of trouble."
"Something I can help with?"
Zoe shrugged, as her gaze lowered to her plate. "It's just something Aiko was helping me with. She was really good at explaining the hard terms."
The mention of Aiko was enough to quicken Damián's heart. His voice was surprisingly even as he offered, "I'm not so bad myself. Why don't you bring your books downstairs when you're done with dinner then we can check it out."
Zoe shrugged and silence fell between them. Damián tur
ned his attention back to his food. He rolled some pasta around his fork, lifted it then decided it was too much and set it back on the plate. He shook some of the pasta off his fork, until only two strands remained. Once more he lifted the fork but halfway up he decided it was too little and lowered the fork back down. A quick glance in Zoe's direction revealed that she was doing the same thing.
"Zoe, eat your food," he urged.
Her eyes on her plate, she continued to twist spaghetti onto her fork. "Daddy?"
"Yeah?"
Zoe's eyes darted upwards nervously. "Is she coming back soon?"
"Who?" he asked. Even though he knew the answer before she said…
"Aiko."
"No." Damián shook his head. Ever since Aiko had left, Zoe hadn't asked after her. He assumed that was because she was relieved that she didn't have to deal with another mother. To reassure her that it would stay that way, he added, "Aiko's not coming back ever."
He expected happiness or, at the very least, relief to color his daughter's expression. Instead, sadness flashed in her eyes before she lowered her gaze back to her plate. She mumbled a low, "Oh."
Her reaction left him confused and wondering if he'd been wrong about what she wanted.
CHAPTER 28
Two weeks after Damián fired her, Aiko found a new part-time gig. She'd taken her military friend up on his offer to join his security firm. In essence, Aiko was working as undercover security whenever any of his high-profile clients went out in public. Her job was to flit within the crowds and watch out for any threats that the client's main bodyguards had missed.
With her being ex-military and female she was perfect for the job. Because she was female, it would be harder for her to be made; most people expected security to be a man. And her military training allowed her to deal with potential threats. The money was still little but at least Femi was now helping out with the mortgage while Kalila had taken over their father's medical costs.
