by Sharon Sala
She found him at their old campsite near the creek, sitting with his back against a tree. He’d dropped his pistol near his right leg, right after he’d pulled the trigger and shot himself through the head. The shot had gone in one ear and out the other, and flies were already gathering on the blood trail down the left side of his face.
Mary gasped in disbelief, then fell to her knees and covered her face as she let out a wail. Then she looked at her husband and began to scream.
Men prospecting upstream heard her, but by the time they found her, she was wading up and down in the creek and babbling hysterically. She’d dug deep bloody gouges in her face and was pulling at her hair. When they tried to help her, she fought them like a woman possessed.
One of the men had the foresight to knock her out, while the others ran for help. By the time Sheriff Hamm arrived, Mary Whiteside had come to and was weeping softly at the edge of the water.
They carried Robert’s body into town and laid him out at the blacksmith. These days, the blacksmith was making as much money building coffins as he was shoeing horses and mules, and calmly began to cut some pine boards.
Mary Whiteside was taken to the doctor’s house. She wept quietly as he applied a mint salve to her face, while Mildred made her some tea. She’d wanted Robert to take her home to Philadelphia, instead, he had sent her to hell.
***
Letty was in the general store when a man came in, full of the story and of himself, claiming he’d saved Robert Whiteside’s wife from drowning herself in Cherry Creek. The story didn’t seem likely, considering the fact that Cherry Creek was less than four feet deep, but when Letty heard that Robert Whiteside had killed himself, she reckoned she knew how the woman must feel.
“Hey, mister… where did they take Mrs. Whiteside?”
“She’s at the doctor’s house,” he said, and then flushed when he realized who he was talking to. “Say… I was real sorry about your husband, Miz. Potter.”
“Thank you,” she said shortly, gathered up her purchases and headed out the door.
She drove the wagon up the street to Dr. Warren’s house and knocked on the front door.
Mildred answered.
“Come in, Letty. Angus is with a patient right now. He can see you in a while if you’re a mind to wait.”
“I didn’t come to see him. I came to see Mrs. Whiteside.”
Mildred shook her head sadly.
“Poor woman… looks like she tried to do herself in. She’s in a bad way, she is.” Then she realized the connection between Letty and Mary Whiteside and paled. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Not a problem,” Letty said. “Life does go on… even when it pisses us off to no end.”
Mildred blinked. She wasn’t used to ladies using such language, but then she remembered Letty Potter never claimed to be a lady.
“I’ll tell Angus you’re here,” Mildred said.
Letty waited.
A few minutes later, Angus came out of his office, eyed Letty with a professional stare, judged her as sad but sound, and greeted her as such.
“You’re looking good,” he said.
Letty nodded. “I’m still breathing. Reckon I might talk to Mrs. Whiteside a minute?”
Angus sighed. “It can’t hurt. Maybe you can say something to her that will help. Lord knows you understand what she’s going through.”
“Thanks,” Letty said, and even as she was opening the door to the office, she wondered what the hell she was doing.
Mary Whiteside was sitting on the side of the examining table, staring down at the floor. Her face looked like she’d been slapped by a bobcat and come out the loser. Her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, and there was a thin stream of snot running down the side of her lip.
Letty grabbed the hem of Mary’s dress and yanked it up over her knees, wiped Mary’s nose, and then dropped the skirt.
Startled by the feel of air on her bare limbs, Mary looked up.
“Snot,” Letty said, pointing at Mary’s nose.
Mary blinked. “What did you say?”
Letty pointed again. “You had snot on your lip. I wiped it off.”
“Oh.” She blinked again. “My Robert killed himself today.”
Letty nodded. “I heard. Damn selfish of him, don’t you think?”
Mary gasped. “How dare you come in here and—”
Letty leaned forward, placing her hands on either side of Mary’s legs, until she could see her own reflection in the woman’s eyes.
“What? Don’t get all indignant on me, now, and try to tell me you haven’t thought the same damn thing. Just because you were having a run of bad luck, doesn’t mean you walk out on your partner like that. Dying is one thing. Killing yourself is another. He ran out on you, woman. I understand your shock, and I understand your pain. But damn it, lady, he left you high and dry without a care for what you might have to do to keep yourself alive. You don’t need to grieve for someone who’d do that to you.”
Mary frowned. Despite this woman’s ravings, she was making some sense.
“So, you’ve said your piece,” Mary muttered. “I don’t need someone like you rubbing salt in the wound.”
Letty’s anger shifted, as she laid a hand on Mary’s knee.
“I didn’t come to rub salt,” she said softly. “I came to take you home.”
Mary’s eyes widened. “We had a tent. It washed away in the flood.”
“I wasn’t talking about your camp, I’m talking about my house. There are empty rooms. You’re welcome to one.”
Mary’s lips went slack.
“I’m what?”
“Welcome to come stay with Alice and Katie and me.”
“But I can’t pay.”
Letty frowned. “I’m not running a hotel. I’m just offering you a room in my house.”
“But what will I do?” she asked.
“Well… Alice cooks, and she looks after Katie.” She eyed the woman closer. “Are you coming or not?”
Mary fidgeted slightly, then picked up the hem of her dress and blew her nose soundly.
“I can grow just about anything. If you’ve got some seeds and such, I can make a vegetable garden. Mama had a fine vegetable garden back in Philadelphia. I used to help her with it.”
“We’ll get some seeds,” Letty said. “In the meantime, is there anything you need to get from your camp?”
Mary thought of the beans she’d left cooking on the fire and Robert’s axe he’d left leaning against a tree.
“No.”
“No matter,” Letty said. “All of us up at the house are like you. Clothes can be replaced.” Then her voice softened. “It’s the people we lose that we think we can’t live without.” Just for a moment, her chin quivered. “Trouble is… despite everything we do to the contrary, we somehow keep breathing… so… are you coming with me or not?”
Mary slid off the examining table and then picked up the small tin of salve the doctor had given her to put on her face.
“I reckon I’d be much obliged,” Mary said, and then shuddered. “I have to see to burying my man.”
“I know something about that,” Letty said. “Follow me.”
And she did.
A REASON TO CARE
Within a week of Mary Whiteside’s arrival, the townspeople had begun referring to the fancy home on the hill as the hen house. Letty supposed it was because of all the females living there.
Mary Whiteside fell into the routine easier than she would have believed. Having a roof over her head and a clean bed to sleep in every night was a big inducement to adapt. There was also the fact that Mary Whiteside could read—and read quite well. With Alice’s approval, Mary took it upon herself to begin giving Katie daily lessons. The trio of newcomers bonded quickly. It was Letty who still held herself back, even though it was her home and money providing their care. There was a part of her that didn’t trust life enough to take another chance at being happy. She was satisfied with just being
okay.
But, like every good thing, it must eventually come to an end. For Letty, it ended on a Thursday, just before noon, and in a way that put, what she thought was important, into sharp perspective.
***
Noah Shaffer was one of the first men Eulis had hired when they’d opened the mine, so when Letty saw him riding up to the house at a fast clip, she thought little of it. Robert Lee often sent one of them to ask her instructions as to how she might want them to proceed. But when Noah rode up to the front porch in an all out gallop, she realized it wasn’t a normal visit.
“Miz Potter! You need to come quick. Robert Lee went and got himself shot.”
Letty felt the blood draining out of her face. She opened her mouth, but couldn’t find the air to talk.
“He’s at Doc Warren’s right now. Doc sent me to tell you.”
By this time, Alice had come out on the porch. Her face was sweaty and flushed from baking bread, and the front of her apron was white with flour. She took one look at the shock on Letty’s face, then grabbed her by the arm and gave her a shake.
“Breathe, woman!” Alice cried.
Letty leaned against the porch rail to keep from falling.
“What happened?” Letty asked.
Noah pulled off his hat as he began to recite the news.
“Robert Lee was going into the bank when robbers came running out, making off with the money. Amos Trueblood came out all bloody and yelling that he’d just been robbed. Robert Lee went and shot both men dead in the street, but not before one of them put a shot in him.”
“Oh lord,” Letty muttered.
“Is it bad?” Alice asked.
“I couldn’t rightly say, ma’am,” Noah said. “I was to meet up with him at the smelter, but when I heard what happened, I went straight to the Doc’s. He was laid out on Doc’s table when I got there and I didn’t see him talking.”
Letty bolted off the porch.
“You can’t ride in those clothes,” Alice yelled. “Go change.”
Since Letty rarely left the house these days, she had taken to wearing dresses again, but she ignored Alice’s orders as she made a run for the shed.
“Where are you going?” Alice cried.
“To saddle my horse,” Letty called.
“I’ll do it for you, ma’am,” Noah said, and rode past her to the shed. By the time she got there, he had a bridle and a saddle blanket on the horse, and was reaching for the saddle.
Moments later, Letty hitched up her skirts and mounted without care that her skirt and petticoats were bunched up around her waist, and her legs were bare clear to her knees.
She kicked the horse in the flanks and away they went.
“Oh law!” Alice cried, when she saw Letty’s bare flesh, and covered her face with her apron.
Letty rode down the mountain without thought for decorum, begging God all the way there to spare Robert Lee. The streets were awash with people who’d heard about the robbery. Some had gathered on corners to rehash the gossip, while others had moved to the blacksmith shop to get a look at the two dead men.
There were plenty who saw Letty Potter come riding into town with her hair flying and her skirts up around her waist. They all saw her bare legs and bouncing bosom, but no one had the guts to voice an opinion as to the wisdom of such a stunt.
Letty got to the doctor’s office, but when she dismounted, she found herself shaking so hard she didn’t think she could walk.
Mildred had seen her coming, and ran out to meet her.
“Lawsy sakes, Miz Potter, your limbs were showing,” she cried, as Letty tied her horse to the rail.
Letty grabbed Mildred’s arm.
“Tell me he’s not dead.”
“How ’bout if I tell you, myself,” Robert Lee said, as he walked out of the house.
Letty took one look at his face, saw the sling over his shoulder and the bandage on his arm, right before her eyes rolled back in her head. She was out before she hit the ground.
“Damn it,” Robert Lee muttered, and bolted off the porch.
“Oh my!” Mildred gasped, and ran into the house, calling her husband’s name.
Letty came to almost as fast as she’d passed out. Robert Lee was kneeling at her side and cradling her head in his lap.
“What happened?” she mumbled, as she pushed herself upright.
“I reckon you fainted, ma’am,” he said softly, regretting the fact that he no longer had an excuse to be touching her.
“I don’t faint,” she said, then pointed to his arm. “Are you all right?”
He grinned slowly. “Except for a hole in my shoulder, I’m just fine.”
“I fail to see the humor in this,” Letty said. “You could have been killed.”
Her fear and anger surprised him. His expression stilled.
“There are far too many times in my life when that has sure been the case. Today was no different. However, if you don’t mind my sayin’, I am right glad it isn’t so.”
His soft voice rattled across Letty’s senses. She looked up into his dark, solemn eyes, and then swallowed nervously.
“Well… of course, I am, too.”
At that point, Dr. Warren came running out of the house.
“What’s going on out here?” he cried, as he ran down the steps.
“She fainted,” Robert Lee said.
Letty glared. “I don’t faint.”
Robert Lee frowned. His shoulder was hurting something fierce and he wasn’t in the frame of mind to let Letty get away with the lie.
“You know, Doc, she must be right. I guess I just mistook her fainting, when it must have been disgust. I reckon that when she saw my ugly mug, she closed her eyes from the sight, and then fell on her ass because she couldn’t see where she was going.”
The doctor swallowed what sounded like a small snort of glee as Letty gasped. Robert Lee had just mentioned her backside and made fun of her at the same time. She pointed her finger in his face.
“It’s not polite to talk about women’s body parts.”
“No one ever accused me of having manners,” Robert Lee drawled.
Letty fidgeted. “I didn’t faint, I guess I was just… just… relieved and uh… afraid.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” he said softly.
Letty didn’t know why, but she suddenly felt as if he was saying one thing but meaning another. It threw her off kilter even more.
“Well, I—” Letty stuttered and then waved her hand. “Oh… never mind, just somebody please help me up.”
Dr. Warren took her by the arm and helped her up while Robert Lee kept his distance. Once Letty was up, she began brushing the dust from her dress and muttering beneath her breath.
“I swear… scared me half to—… don’t know what—… high and dry… damn guns.”
Robert Lee ignored her fussing because he couldn’t fix what was wrong with her, anymore than he could fix what was wrong with himself. She was at a loss without her husband, and he was drowning in his own love for her.
“I gotta go find my horse,” he said, and then shook the doctor’s hand. “I appreciate you fixing me up.”
“My pleasure, Robert Lee. Take care of yourself, and if you have any trouble with that shoulder, you come back to see me.”
“All right,” Robert Lee said, and waited until the doctor had gone back in the house before he turned to Letty.
“Where is your horse?” she asked.
“He was at the hitching rail at the bank, although when all the shooting started, people and horses went everywhere. I hope he’s still there.”
Even as he was saying it, Noah Shaffer was riding up, leading Robert Lee’s horse.
“It sure is good to see you standin’,” Noah said, as he dismounted and handed Robert Lee the reins.
“Yeah, I’m encouraged by the fact, myself,” Robert Lee said. “I reckon I’ll be heading on back to the mine now.”
“Oh no, you aren’t,” Letty said. �
��You’re coming home with me. You’re going to need some help with changing bandages and such.”
Robert Lee didn’t know if the shock he was feeling showed on his face, but there was no way in hell he was going to spend a single night under the same roof with this woman.
“No, ma’am, I’m not. I’ve been shot before, in far worse situations, and without a fine cabin or a horse to get me out of the weather.”
Letty wouldn’t let it go. “But what if—”
Robert Lee balked. “Ma’am. I appreciate you more than you will ever know, and I understand your kindness, but I’m going home.”
Having declared himself, he grabbed the saddle-horn with his good arm and swung himself up in the saddle. Noah handed him the reins. His stubbornness cost him. Holding on so hard that his knuckles turned white—he bowed his head until he could control his breathing and looked at Letty.
“I’m available if you need me,” he told her, then looked at Noah. “It’s time we got back.”
“Yes, sir,” Noah said, and together, they rode out of town.
Letty watched until she could no longer see them, then mounted her horse and went home.
Alice was on the porch, anxiously awaiting news.
“Oh, Letty! Thank goodness you’re back! How is Robert Lee?”
“I suppose he’s just fine… he said he was fine, and who am I to argue,” she snapped, and led her horse toward the shed.
That night when she went upstairs to go to bed, she changed into her nightgown and walked to the window overlooking the backyard.
The quarter moon appeared in the sky like a tear in the fabric of heaven, partially hidden by the constantly moving clouds. She tried, without success, to pinpoint Eulis’ grave. It was strange, knowing it was there, but not being able to see it. She’d had no idea how much she’d depended on him until he was no longer here. Talking to him, even when she couldn’t see him, seemed to help.
“Well, you probably already know this, but I thought I’d let you know that Robert Lee went and got himself shot today.” She paused for a bit, thinking out what she needed to get off her chest. “I got mad at him. That wasn’t right, was it?” She tunneled her fingers through her hair. “I don’t know what I was thinking, but when Noah Shaffer rode up and told us he’d been shot, well, you can imagine what I thought. I thought about you. You went and died on me. I guess I was afraid he would, too. That’s crazy, isn’t it? I don’t know why I’m acting like this. I took care of myself for all those years without anybody’s help… except maybe yours. You did make sure I had my hot bath water when I wanted it, didn’t you?”
