Jan had better luck with Everett. They enjoyed play; he became partially erect but didn’t try to change the rules of the game. She liked him as a person.
Okay, now watch as the weirdness builds!
There was then a lull in our being together, with everyone being busy. Finally, Linda Sue needed to travel quite a ways away because of a family situation, leaving Everett alone with just the dog. During phone conversation, Jan noted that we were going to a movie during Linda Sue’s absence. She asked if Everett could go with us. I wasn’t really keen on a movie threesome but had to admit that it was a reasonable request. The movie went fine and Everett, while being very attentive to Jan, made no inappropriate moves. After the movie we took him home. I thought (hoped?) that it would be a drop and dash. It was not to be. He got out but kept stretching out a conversation with Jan. He even invited us in, like that was going anywhere. Before judging me harshly on this point, realize that Everett was being really clingy emotionally.
Linda Sue returned from her trip. She provided an interesting revelation. The woman who sounded so devoted to her husband actually had a boyfriend on the side. Everett was well aware of the boyfriend since Linda Sue openly announced the days that she would be spending with the boyfriend rather than with Everett. She claimed that there had not yet been sex but it was coming. Everett wanted Linda Sue so much that he would sit home by himself while she was out playing. Linda Sue’s attitude was, “No one tells me what to do. If Everett ever tells me what to do, I will walk out the door and may never come back.”
Everett and Linda Sue then asked for a meeting, really a meeting between her and me, with Jan and Everett sitting in another room. Linda Sue had no interest in me. Duh! She wanted a girlfriend for Everett so he wouldn’t be alone when she was off with her boyfriend. What a concerned wife! Her justification as to why Jan and I should agree to that plan was that she had recently lost a close relative. If you can’t make the connection, join the club. Both Jan and I made it clear that we were following the “all or none” rule. They left with her in a huff and him crying, wanting to know why he couldn’t have a relationship with Jan. Not a bad guy overall, just totally screwed up. I would have tossed her ass over the balcony railing years before! And that was the end of that!
Morals of this profile: You’re not there to fix their problems. And if only one person in the other couple is actually interested, head for the door. If this becomes obvious after the new couples are formed – stop and run. I found this hard to do but it’s what needs to be done.
Chapter Eleven
Frank and Mandy – Friends Until Sex Stops
Another scam that we fell for. As usual, we met this couple on a site. The pictures were of her and showed a lovely face. Very little else showed.
Things started off well with a nice dinner. We had lots to talk about before sex ever came up. When the ladies went off to the ladies’ room (why are grown women incapable of going by themselves?) I asked Frank how they decided to get into trading. His answer was pretty straightforward; they thought they would enjoy the variety, and did. My answer was that we wanted to spice things up a bit.
They were in town for a convention. They thought we would enjoy the part that they were responsible for, and asked us to attend that portion. Did I want to go? Absolutely not. The convention was on something that I had no interest in. Jan was marginally more interested. Because they asked nicely and it was a chance to spend more time with them, we agreed. Was I bored? You betcha! But they were nice and going to their part led to an agreement to meet for an afternoon show the next afternoon. Not an adult show. It would have been PG-13 if it had been a movie.
The show was followed by a pleasant meal and an invitation for them to come to our house to play our “get naked fast” game. They readily agreed, with all of us knowing the expected outcome.
The game was fun, as it always is. He was short in stature but long in endowment. I pay attention to these things because I know Jan is going to get intimately knowledgeable about his important part. He had weird hair but it wasn’t in the important area.
She was medium height with a really lovely face. She had firm, large breasts. There were a few extra pounds south of there but not a big deal.
We went off to separate bedrooms. They are right across the hall from each other and we keep the hall light on. When Jan and I make love, she is very vocal. When she has been with others, she has generally been quiet. I heard one sound out of her that night. It was the distinctive sound she makes when being provided oral sex. I heard nothing else. I saw Jan pass our bedroom on the way to the bathroom. As I later learned, she was “between rounds.” The hugely endowed leprechaun had her three times that night! Did that upset me? Yes, it did, partially out of jealousy at his prowess (haven’t gone three in a night for a long time), and because of what happened between Mandy and me.
And what did happen with Mandy? Some really good stuff north of her belly button. Kissing her was incredibly enjoyable. I like to build up to really passionate kissing which suited her just fine. Her breasts were an absolute delight. Having the large, firm breasts with rock-hard nipples against my chest was great! Mandy enjoyed the contact as much as I did.
Then came the awful truth. As I moved to make sure she was nice and wet, she informed me that she was physically incapable of intercourse, something I should have known from the beginning. She provided some very pleasant oral but that was about it.
Jan and I compared notes the next morning when Fran k and Mandy left. That’s when I found out he’d had her three times while I basically got nothing. Jan likes sex and not just with me. I was very unhappy that she’d had a triple romp while I only got some kissing, touching, and oral.
We decided that Jan would call Mandy and tell her how much we had enjoyed spending time with them. I should note that after Frank’s triple dip he thought we should see each other every other week. This is important because Jan also told Mandy that we did not want to include sex in the relationship.
And we never heard from them again …
Morals of this profile: Watch out for the scammers; they come in many guises and some are very, very good at what they do. Make sure, delicately, that everyone is capable of complete follow-through and wants to. When you realize you’ve been had, call a halt and leave or kick them out.
Chapter Twelve
Leonard and Barbara – A Case of Abuse and Stupidity
Look in the dictionary under stupid and abusive and you’ll find their pictures. This couple (his writing) said they were seven years older but holding up well. He was supposed to be in reasonable condition and she was supposed to be a real beauty.
We agreed to meet for dinner. What went right? The steak was good. What went wrong?
Let’s start with her. She really was not very good looking and had had a disease which left her with a small degree of disfigurement. She was slender with small endowment. I don’t care about breast size unless they are of the huge and misshapen variety. And her slight disfigurement was no big deal – as long as we could connect socially. We had very little connection.
About all she said was, “Don’t try to talk to him about politics.” Boy was she right. Just a hint that there might be a reasonable differing position drove him into a rage. He was also extremely controlling of her.
And that may have been his best quality. I guess we came down with terminal stupidity because we agreed to see them again. There is so much to their dysfunctional relationship, so let me hit the highlights.
They had been wealthy but lost it. They lived in a small apartment. She was working as household help while he sat around unclothed and doing nothing useful.
At one point we all ended up in their bed. They only had sex with her on top. We watched what was their supposedly having sex but could not verify insertion or enjoyment on either of their parts. She finally just got up. Conclusion? A porn scene from the days when they used to fake sex. We knew he could get it up, so maybe she really didn�
�t even want him entering her.
She did not want to participate. At one point she started crying. Through her tears she let us know that she had no interest in having sex with anyone but her husband. She had given him permission to go get something on the side but she wasn’t interested. For whatever reason, he didn’t use his hall pass.
We were out of there. In spite of his abusive behavior, she stayed. She has places she can go. We hope she does.
Morals of this profile: Don’t go along when there are obviously marriage problems. Don’t be used as a tool to manipulate anyone. If you meet this couple – run!
Chapter Thirteen
Others
I called this section “Others” because the couples involved don’t yield more profile morals. They are kind of “more of the same” to reinforce the previous chapters. I won’t bother with names.
Couple number one had an interesting profile. She was listed as bi-sexual and he was listed as “curious” about it. Curious can mean anything from, “I thought about it once,” up to, “I wonder what it will take to get him to play with me.” I asked about it, given that I like women, and the high incidence of HIV among gay men. After all, this guy was going to be in Jan and I didn’t want us to take away anything bad. He acknowledged providing and being provided oral sex with other men. The furthest he admitted to going was “69” position oral. His thought was that it felt just as good as coming from a woman. He said that he was available if I wanted to give or receive, or both, but would not push it. After the usual preliminaries, we ended up nude in their king sized bed. This boy was built like a very long snake. He and Jan quickly moved from kissing to him providing her oral. He was apparently very good, from her reactions. The funny part is the snake stayed totally limp. Turning my attention to his wife, I was informed that she was incapable of intercourse. All I got was an attempt at manual stimulation while the husband nearly suffocated between Jan’s legs. Eventually Jan went to take a shower and the husband suggested his wife go with her. They touched breasts but that was about it. I think the husband’s reason for getting the women into another room was so I could suggest oral between us. Didn’t happen. Another unwilling or unable wife scheming to get her husband sex.
Couple number two had an interesting female partner. I say partner because we learned that many of the couples were not married. They just liked to party together. This experience happened at our one party. She was available for anyone to do anything with her sexually, but don’t try to kiss her! When we left the party, all the other women kissed me. This woman “wasn’t into that.” A kiss was too intimate, but bring on all the men and women for sex!
Couple number three were novices. They wanted to start with just nudity. But when it came time for clothes to come off, they balked. They might have been enthusiastic given enough time but not then. Sometimes good things are worth waiting for.
Chapter Fourteen
Conclusions
People in the “lifestyle” tend to be risk takers. Almost every couple we met had one or two motorcycles. Their Sunday afternoon relaxation was going for a ride. Riding motorcycles is inherently dangerous for several reasons. You only have two wheels on most. Car drivers tend not to watch out for motorcycle riders. And motorcycles have no “shell” for protection. Some hospital emergency room staff have started calling them “donor cycles.” Why such a high number of riders in the “lifestyle” set? My thought is that their thrill with risky behavior extends to their sex lives. While some traders insist on condoms (which can break and don’t protect you from oral-sex transmitted diseases), most people we encountered were willing to have sex with anyone who appealed to them. You may remember Ron and Candi from Chapter two, who caught a lifetime disease from some “absolutely safe people.” And at our one party experience I saw a woman receiving oral from a stranger and didn’t even look around to see who it was. Many people who I have talked to have claimed to have been active for 20 or 30 years with no problems at all. Just lucky?
Some people have gotten into trading as an experiment and, in several peoples’ words, found it to be a “blast.” We were invited to a nude barbecue thrown by a couple much younger than us. The host promised to have the hostess open the door totally naked. I saw some pictures of her and naked suited her well. I was also assured that the hostess would be ready for oral or penetration anytime I was ready. I liked the idea of having sex with someone much younger, but unfortunately, Jan “didn’t want to have sex with children” and so we begged off. If you can attract others and can perform without the questionable “magic pills,” then it can be a blast.
If things have gotten a bit dull in the bedroom, some trading might just liven things up. After each encounter, Jan and I compared notes on a very explicit level. The result was usually an erection and an eager vagina. But make sure you can handle being told explicit details. If you’re having a good time between a new partner’s legs, be able to handle another man being between your wife’s legs. A couple of things we found out are that Jan gets really turned on knowing the man in bed with her can’t wait to enter her. She also likes providing oral more than she thought she would, and she likes to play with the man’s penis even before we go to the bedrooms. I like having a woman eagerly undress for me, happily spread her legs, and freely admit how much fun it was. This warrants retelling. Make sure that you can handle your spouse/partner having as much fun as you. Don’t be surprised when he or she gets a thrill from being looked at. Don’t get shocked when his or her legs get spread for a better look before departing for the bedrooms. And especially for the guys, expect her to enjoy herself without checking on you.
Don’t expect trading to fix your own marital problems. If you are in a secure relationship and just want the extra play, that’s up to you. And when you meet someone, remember that “all play or no one plays.”
Don’t expect everyone out there to be looking for best friends. For most of the people we met, their interest is enjoying your body and not much else.
These were our experiences. Looking at a new woman’s breasts and vagina is great fun. That applies to both him and her. And looking at a new, big erection is fun for both of them. If sex goes well, you can accept that most people really only care about sex, and you are willing to accept the risks, it might be for you. If the negatives are red flags or violate your personal morals, it might not be a good idea. If you want to see how comfortable you are in a nude setting, consider one of the clothing optional hot spring pools.
One last thought. If you get naked with a total babe and she points and laughs, the evening isn’t going to have a happy ending.
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
Chapter One Joe and Bobbie – The Grand Scam
Chapter Two Phil and Barbara – A Great Couple
Chapter Three The Party -- Hosted by Marc and Mindy (No Kidding)
Chapter Four Matt and Nancy -- Nice People With a Strange Agenda
Chapter Five Robert and Cynthia – Oh How I Do Love Me; Let Me Tell You How Wonderful I Am
Chapter Six Alan and Denise – Just Plain Weird
Chapter Seven George and Jackie – Nice People But Lots That Went Wrong
Chapter Eight David and Wendy – The Giant and the Pixie
Chapter Nine Lynn and Carol – What you see is not What You Get
Chapter Ten Everett and Linda Sue – Enough to Keep a Psychiatrist busy for Years
Chapter Eleven Frank and Mandy – Friends Until Sex Stops
Chapter Twelve Leonard and Barbara – A Case of Abuse and Stupidity
Chapter Thirteen Others
Chapter Fourteen Conclusions
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Swingers: A Strange Breed of Risk Takers Page 4
