“If Bree asked me to leave the army, I’d do it in heartbeat,” he said without hesitation. “No questions asked. I’d do anything for her.”
Michael couldn’t believe his luck. If Danny were to leave the military, then he could resign his commission and not feel guilty about it. And then, maybe he could convince Kacie to give them a real shot.
“So . . . what about you? You’ll have fulfilled your commitment this fall, right? Have you decided what you’re going to do?” Danny pointed at him with his fork. “It’s not like you need to stay in and do your twenty. I bet you’d make pretty decent money out in the civilian world.”
“I think I’d do okay. Are you wanting me to leave the 75th or just trying to get rid of me completely? Tired of your big brother hanging around?” Michael asked with a laugh.
But there wasn’t any amusement in Danny’s eyes as he washed down his bite of food with Guinness. “I don’t want to get rid of you. I like that we can grab a beer anytime we want. But I wouldn’t mind if you left the army. It’d be one less thing I’d need to worry about.”
“You worry about me? What the hell for? I’m not the one kicking in doors and shit.”
“How can you be so fucking smart and so fucking stupid at the same time?” Danny huffed in frustration. “You’re just as likely to step on an IED or be killed in a rocket attack as I am. And let’s not even talk about what could possibly happen if you came face-to-face with an insurgent.”
Figures his brother didn’t think he could handle himself. “You know, the army issues me a gun.”
“Yeah. And I’ve seen your handiwork at the range.” Danny laughed. “It’s a damn good thing you’re a doctor because you’d fucking suck as a soldier.”
Well, he couldn’t really argue with Danny on that point.
He was on the verge of telling Danny he’d sleep better at night if he followed his own advice, when Danny’s phone vibrated on the tabletop and Bree’s face appeared on the screen. His brother wasted no time in answering, and as the two of them chatted, the things Danny mentioned earlier about not having kids circled around in Michael’s mind.
He knew his brother regretted the ten years he and Bree spent apart and the unfortunate fact that by the time they did marry there was no chance of kids. Throw in his career choice and her past cancer battles and adoption would be highly unlikely, if not impossible.
The moment his brother ended the call, Michael spoke up. “Danny . . . what you said about kids? I thought you two were fine without?”
“It’s fine. It’s just . . .” His brother struggled to find the words. “Sometimes I watch Bree with Ben and Marie’s kids. Or like at the picnic, I saw her staring at Rachel’s belly, and there’s a sadness in her eyes. I want to give her everything, but I can’t.”
“Do you two talk about it?”
“We do when she’s feeling down about it. Which isn’t very often, and she handles it like a champ. But . . .” Danny shook his head.
“It feels like a missed opportunity.”
“Yeah. But don’t worry about us, we’re good. Really good.” Danny drank down the last of his beer and set his glass heavily on the table. “Bree, however, is quite worried about you. She thinks you’re isolating yourself.”
That made him choke on his drink. “Excuse me? I’m doing what?”
“She’s worried you might be depressed. Nothing serious, just kind of low-level stuff.”
He studied his brother and there wasn’t a single ounce of amusement in his eyes. He was absolutely fucking serious. “And why would she think that?”
“Because you rarely go out anymore. And you keep refusing her dinner invites.”
Michael held up a hand in protest. “I do not refuse invitations to dinner. I do, however, refuse to let her and Marie play matchmaker.”
Danny chuckled. “Can’t say as I blame you there.”
“It’s not funny.”
“Of course it is. Just not to you.” Danny signaled to the waitress. “So what do you want me to tell her?”
The way Michael saw it, there were two ways he could handle this. He could lie and dig a deeper hole and worry his sister-in-law more. Or he could tell the truth and get the monkey off his back, so to speak.
“If it will make her feel better, tell her I’ve been seeing someone.”
“Nope. Not gonna do it.” Danny paused momentarily as the waitress placed two more beers in front of them. “I’m not going to lie to my wife for you.”
“I didn’t ask you to. I’ve been seeing someone for a while now.”
Danny looked at him skeptically. “That seems pretty convenient. I can’t just take your word for it. I need proof.”
Michael thought on it a bit. No way in hell would he show their text messages as evidence. Instead, he scrolled through the photos Kacie had sent, selected one, and slid his phone across the tabletop.
“What the hell is this? It’s a picture of a woman’s feet and a pool.” Danny shoved it back. “You’re gonna have to do better than that.”
Michael scowled and then pulled up the selfie of Kacie in her bathing suit. He started to hand the phone back, then yanked it away from his brother’s grasp at the last second. “I’m only showing you this as proof. But I swear to God, if you give Bree any specifics about the woman in this picture, I will break your face. Got it?”
“Jeez. Okay.”
He swore under his breath and reluctantly handed Danny the phone.
“She’s cute,” was his brother’s first response. And then he took a closer look. “She looks familiar. Who is she?”
“Remember the bachelorette party the night we went out for Bree’s birthday?”
Danny’s head shot up and he stared at Michael with wide eyes. “Holy shit! It’s Malibu Barbie!”
Michael snatched his phone back and pointed at his brother. “Break. Your. Face.”
Danny scoffed, then took another drink of his beer. “Why all the cloak and dagger bullshit?”
“Because it’s not a relationship. We’re just . . .” He wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence because he wasn’t even sure how to describe whatever it was between the two of them.
“Fuck buddies?” Danny supplied.
Michael’s blood started to boil. “Don’t. Do not. I fucking warned you.”
Intrigued, his brother sat up a little straighter in his chair. “You like her.”
“Fuck off.”
Danny laughed then. “Oh, you definitely like her.”
Michael signaled the waitress for the check.
“So what’s the problem here?” Danny asked, still grinning.
“She’s moving to Durham next month for a fellowship at Duke. It’s a pretty big deal.”
The waitress appeared with the check and Michael quickly handed her his card.
“What the hell is it about North Carolina, huh? First Bree and now . . . what’s her name?”
“No way. I’ve told you too much already.”
“Well, big brother, the way I look at it, you’ve got a little over a month to somehow convince her to stay.”
“I don’t see that happening.”
The waitress dropped the check and Michael doubled-checked the receipt and added a generous tip, ignoring the fact she’d written her name and phone number on the customer copy.
“Why not? I stopped Bree from taking that job in Greensboro.”
“What stopped Bree from leaving was the fact you were shot up and nearly died.” Michael signed his name with a flourish and closed the folder. “Call me crazy, but that seems a little drastic at this point.”
“Whatever,” Danny said with a shrug. “It worked for me. It could work for you.”
Unfortunately, he’d never been a grand-gesture kind of guy. And if that’s what love required of him, maybe he wasn’t cut out for this relationship stuff after all.
When Kacie left the bridal shop, she wasn’t really in the mood to just go home and sit alone in her place. If anything, she want
ed to celebrate her success. But she hadn’t spoken to Michael since he’d left early that morning.
She pulled out her phone and was on the verge of texting him. But then she remembered what he’d said that first afternoon in her apartment—that he wasn’t opposed to the idea of her showing up unexpectedly at his door—and she decided to see if he really meant it. After one quick stop at the drugstore for a provisional box of condoms, followed by another at the little bakery he often talked about, she was on her way.
If anyone asked, Kacie wouldn’t be able to explain her actions. There was just something about him that made her want to try anything and do everything.
She parked in the guest lot and followed the walkway to Michael’s place. As she lifted her hand to knock on the door, she suddenly realized the music echoing through the breezeway between the two buildings was coming from inside his apartment. Not accustomed to hearing him play Elton John, she took a step back and double-checked the building number.
Certain she was at the right door, she knocked a little harder than usual. When he didn’t answer by the count of three, she was tempted to run away and pretend she’d never even been there. Instead, she took a deep breath and knocked one last time, and the door opening unexpectedly beneath her hand.
His expression quickly shifted from one of annoyance to happiness. “Hey there.”
“I . . . figured I’d pop in.”
She hadn’t thought it possible, but his smile widened even further, those charming dimples appearing in his cheeks and his eyes darkening as the meaning of her words sunk in.
Kacie held out the small white pharmacy bag and pink bakery box as she took in his appearance. His hair was wet and he wore a towel wrapped low on his hips. Droplets of water were scattered across his shoulders and chest, some of which occasionally lost their grip and raced down the firm planes of his stomach.
Michael pushed the door open wider and took the things from her hands, setting them on a small table. But the moment she was inside, the door slammed shut behind her and she was being pressed up against it as his mouth tasted hers and his hands roamed her body.
“You don’t mind that I just showed up?” she asked as his lips skimmed the length of her neck.
“God, no.”
With both hands he tugged down the top of her strapless maxi dress to reveal her breasts. After only a split second to visually appreciate them, he plumped one in his hand before taking her nipple in his mouth. Emboldened by his reception, she grabbed hold of his towel and, with one swift tug, freed it from his hips and tossed it aside. The moment she took his erection in hand he groaned low in his throat. It wasn’t long before he pulled himself from her grip, then reached beneath her dress to grasp her panties, yanking them down.
She knew what would come next, or at least hoped. And of course Michael didn’t disappoint; his hands grabbed her ass and lifted her from the ground as excitement coursed through her. Instinctively her legs wrapped around his waist as he leaned her heavily against the door. The soft cotton fabric of her dress was shoved high around her hips, and he used his fingers to tease between her thighs.
“The bag, the small white bag,” she said breathlessly.
He shifted her weight in his hold and she heard the rustle of the bag. He tore open the box with his teeth and offered it to her. “Take one, put it on me.”
She wasted no time following his orders, tearing the small package open, slipping the condom free, rolling it onto his length. She’d barely released him before he was inside her. With his hands behind her knees, he lifted her higher against the door, holding her there with his body as he moved with an intense urgency.
His breath was hot in her ear, rushing from his lungs as he worked their bodies in a hurried rhythm. She clutched his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as he shifted his feet, changing the angle as he drove deeper, harder, into her.
If anyone were walking past his apartment door, there would be little question as to what was happening on the other side. And if they were still uncertain, her cries as he brought her to the edge of orgasm and quickly tossed her over would’ve been confirmation enough. Never mind the string of expletives that came from his mouth as he followed her over.
“Well, that was quite the welcome.” Kacie smoothed her hands over his shoulders and back as he leaned heavily against her. “I should pop in more often.” She felt his laugh against her neck as they both struggled to catch their breath.
After a few moments, he withdrew, lowered her to the ground, and made certain she was steady on her feet before kissing her tenderly.
“It’s nice to see you.” Then he flashed her a grin while picking up his towel from the floor. “Make yourself at home.”
She watched him go until his naked butt disappeared around the corner and into his bedroom. Then she put herself back to rights and wandered over to the entertainment center. Just as she’d suspected, the source was an old turntable she’d noticed when visiting his place previously. He had told her then that most of the records in his collection once belonged to his parents, and when his father no longer had an interest in them, Michael swiped them.
She picked up the white album cover and was reading the back when he returned wearing black running shorts and an army T-shirt.
“I wouldn’t have taken you for an Elton John fan,” she said, holding up the cover.
“He was my mom’s favorite. She listened to him all the time.” Michael picked up a remote from the coffee table and lowered the volume. “Today’s her birthday so I was feeling a bit nostalgic, I guess.”
Although the corners of his mouth were upturned into a smile, the sadness in his eyes weighed it down.
“How old was she when she died?”
“Thirty-three.”
“And how old were you?”
“Ten,” he said matter-of-factly. “I was ten. Danny was five and had just started kindergarten.”
Kacie shook her head in disbelief. It seemed inconceivable that his mother, any mother, could die at such a young age. Even more surprising was that she had only been two years older than Kacie when she died.
“Was it an accident?”
Michael shook his head. “Lung cancer. Both she and my father smoked. She started as a teen and used to smoke those long, thin cigarettes with menthol when I was a kid. Such a distinct smell. For a long time she had a cough that just wouldn’t go away, always saying she thought it was a cold or the flu. She’d have times where she got better or didn’t seem to cough as much and so she’d put off going to the doctor.”
He took the album cover from her hand and filed it with the others on the shelf, then gestured for her to take a seat in the couch.
“I think she knew what it was and was scared to find out,” he continued without any prompting as he sat down beside her. “By the time she finally went to a doctor and X-rays were ordered, they found the cancer in her lungs. It wasn’t much longer before they discovered it had metastasized to her brain and liver.”
“Does your dad still smoke?”
Again, he shook his head. “Nope. He quit cold turkey the day they diagnosed my mom.”
“I’m so sorry, Michael.” Kacie reached out and placed her hand upon his. “I didn’t mean to dredge up bad memories.”
He shook his head. “I was thinking about them anyway. And it’s okay. It was a long time ago.”
Neither of them spoke for a long while; instead, they just sat next to one another listening to the music.
“Do you have a picture of her?” she finally asked in a pause between songs.
Immediately, he went to the bookshelf and pulled down an age-worn photo album, one filled with yellowed Polaroids and faded school pictures. He quickly flipped through the pages, landing on a studio portrait. “This was taken of my mom and dad just a few months before she was diagnosed.”
He gave her time to look at it, then turned several more pages. “This is my favorite,” he said while staring at the picture. “Although you
can’t see her face very well, you can see her.”
Unlike the previous photo, this one was a candid shot taken at a carnival of some sort; little Michael was in the picture, shoving a cone of cotton candy into his mom’s face.
“It looks like you both were having a lot of fun.”
“She was a lot of fun. Always laughing.” He turned and looked at Kacie intently with those dark blue eyes. “You remind me of her.”
She glanced at the photo again, knowing he wasn’t talking about looks. After all, his mother had dark brown hair and blue eyes. “Is she why you became a doctor?”
Michael continued flipping through the pages of his childhood. “Yeah. It’s kind of predictable, right? I didn’t want any other kid to lose a parent like that.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t become an oncologist, then.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “That was the plan when I first went to medical school. Plans change though.”
Now her curiosity was piqued. She knew his medical school was paid for by the military and his service now was part of his repayment. But it didn’t explain a few things.
“Did you always plan to go into the Ranger regiment?”
“No.” He answered without hesitation.
“How, then?”
One corner of his mouth hitched up. “Basically it was a pissing contest. Although we’re five years apart, Danny and I have always been competitive. Probably because I never let him win as a kid.”
“Sounds like typical oldest sibling behavior to me. Of course you wanted to be better.”
“No, I wanted him to be better.”
Kacie arched one eyebrow, waiting for him to explain.
“After our mom died, most people went easy on him. Teachers. Coaches. Our dad. No one was willing to be hard on him except me.” He continued turning pages until he came to a page that had photos of both of them in uniform. “He had a baseball scholarship to South Carolina, but got into some trouble his first year and lost it. He enlisted as an infantryman for regiment. Went through RIP, Airborne, next thing I knew he’d been deployed to Iraq. When 1st Batt returned home, he was sent off to Ranger School. When he finished, he sent a picture of his tab. Basically, he threw down the gauntlet.”
From the Start Page 14
