“We will pay, never fear. We have two more coming in this week so you’ll be paid again before the next due date. Just take her home and keep her warm and fed. I doubt you’ll ever have a problem out of her again. And if you do, you can always bring her back for another treatment.” Nurse Pracket informed Anne’s mother, a pleased smile on her cruel face.
“Look at this mess. And I have to take care of her? I’m not sure it was worth this. You’d better be sending me a nurse out two times a week or we’re going to have to talk more money.” Sophia said, looking at her once vibrant daughter with distaste.
Not pity, or shock, or heartbreak, Anne’s mother looked at her daughter with disgust before loading her into a car and driving her home. This was not the life Sophia had planned. Anne was supposed to leave and she was supposed to have her normal life back. She’d been burdened with the girl since she was fifteen, wasn’t that long enough?
Pushing Anne into her bedroom Sophia dumped the now helpless woman on the bed, covered her with a throw and walked out to her front porch swing. This was not going to be easy if Anne stayed this way. Sophia was old now, and tired, but the Lord would provide a way, she just had to listen, she knew that.
Sophia thought about what the doctor had said that Anne may still improve and spent a few minutes praying that she would. Not for Anne’s sake but for her own.
Over the next few months the doctor’s words proved to be right, Anne started to improve but she remained almost childlike, her capacity never quite getting back to that of an adult. She found a baby doll somewhere and would rock it for hours on end out on the front porch swing, talking to it in a childlike voice. Anne never spoke to her mother again, only the doll she named Bridget. Anne didn’t fight back but she didn’t interact with the world around her either.
Soon items began to arrive at the house through the mail. Nice things, things that Sophia had always wanted but could never afford. While Anne’s clothes became ragged and fell apart Sophia began to wear furs. Dishes that would never be used at a dinner party arrived and Sophia would spend hours staring at them while polishing the new silver she had.
Anne’s body became thinner, weaker, and she became dependent on the pills the doctor’s prescribed her. Over the years her body began to crave more powerful drugs and while her mother was busy ordering things from the mail order catalogue the doctor would twice weekly bring medicines for Anne.
Eventually Anne’s mother passed away and the doctor had to call a nurse to come in and care for Anne. Anne could now cook and clean and look after herself but the drugs she was taking made her forget the world existed. Anne would eat off of dirty dishes or leave food on the stove until the pots were so burned they had to be thrown away. The state stepped in and Anne was given a caretaker and welfare benefits to keep her fed.
Rather than taking Anne off of the drugs, getting her body clean of their poison, and allowing her some semblance of a life Doctor Nelson just kept bringing stronger ones, until one particularly powerful one came out that caused Anne pain and terrible cravings if she had to go without the pill.
As long as Anne had the medicine she was fine. She didn’t think about her missing baby, or how her mother had bought all of that junk with money she swore she didn’t have, or how the doctor kept bringing her drugs to keep her quiet. She just sat on the porch swing or stared out of the window, not thinking of anything but rocking her baby.
Chapter Five
April 1977
Joan Parker looked around the small room with white painted walls, a crib, and other baby items before walking out and closing the door. Not yet, she couldn’t allow herself to have hope yet. Not until the baby was in her arms.
Joan had lived a rough life, even after she married Scott, the man of her dreams. Her parents had died when she was young and she’d spent her teenaged years with her very timid grandmother in Louisa Falls, a woman whose fear of the world had infiltrated her granddaughter’s psyche. Two years away from thirty Joan had given up on having another child but then she’d discovered she was pregnant once more.
Getting pregnant wasn’t easy for Joan; giving birth to a live child proved impossible so far. It was the one thing she and Scott wanted more than anything else. A child of their own to love and raise. Scott was an orphan as well but he’d been raised in an orphanage a few counties over. They wanted a family of their own and wanted to adopt but they didn’t have the money that adoption would cost them.
Going in to prepare her husband’s dinner in the kitchen Joan wondered what those shots were the doctor was giving her. They must be some kind of vitamins because Joan didn’t feel as weak as she normally felt when she was pregnant. Her last two had left her feeling at death’s door she was so exhausted but not with this one. This baby was strong, she just knew it.
Scott soon came home and Joan greeted him happily at the door, taking his hat and coat.
“Welcome home, darling, how was your day?” Joan asked before kissing her man happily.
“It was good Joan but I’m glad Doctor Nelson has reduced his fee, I couldn’t handle much more work. Dinner smells lovely, is it lasagna?” Scott asked after kissing his wife back.
“You guessed it, my love. Are you ready to eat now or should I keep it warm?” She asked as they walked back into the kitchen, the dining room actually just a nook in the corner of their tiny kitchen.
“We can eat now.” Scott said as he washed up. “How did the doctor appointment go?”
Scott’s words came out casually but the tenseness in his shoulders and in the jerky way his arms moved showed his calm words for a lie, Joan knew. She wanted to ease that tension but she knew Scott, like her, would not be calm until this baby was born and in their own home. They’d debated a midwife and having the baby at home but Scott insisted that Joan see a doctor this time and that the baby be born in a hospital, in case anything went wrong.
“Everything is fine so far.” Joan qualified all of her statements about the baby and her pregnancy, terrified of jinxing everything. “Oh, there was a new woman there today, Anne Rasnake. She’s very lovely and we talked for a while. Meg was there too, of course, and we all had a nice little chat. Anne is coming to church Sunday so you’ll get to meet her then.”
“That’s wonderful dear, you don’t have enough friends, you know. I’m glad you’ve met another, from the sounds of it.” Scott sat down to his dinner, complimenting his wife on how delicious it was.
They went to bed that evening, Scott cradling her to his body, a couple hoping for more than they should some would say. Far from a wealthy couple the pair only wanted a real family, the opportunity to experience something they’d both missed out on in their childhoods. Hopefully this time was their chance.
Across the street from Joan’s house, in the house that came as part of her husband’s role as the church’s leader, Meg Skaggs wondered if this was going to be the child that killed her. She’d feared birth since the very first time she became pregnant, all those years ago but Robert insisted she perform her duties without birth control. Birth control was a sin, he insisted.
Meg knew they could not afford another child, their parishioners were not the wealthiest people in the world, and asking the congregation to subsidize them with food was unthinkable. She’d simply have to sell more of her mother’s jewelry and do without. That’s all there was to it.
Rolling over on her side, away from the snoring of her husband Meg wondered how she’d ended up with such a life. She was thirty-three years old and the mother of nine children. She could barely remember what it was like to not be pregnant because she’d been pregnant every year of her marriage so far.
She’d tried avoiding her husband when she was likely to get pregnant but Robert wouldn’t have it. Meg had learned long ago to keep her opinions to herself and to bow to Robert’s will, she didn’t like having to hide bruises.
Meg thought children were a blessing but breeding indiscriminately was just greedy and unhealthy for all involved, especi
ally the mother. She’d once asked Robert what would happen if she died giving birth to one of their children and his face had blanched. Not because she’d be gone but because she wouldn’t be around to do all of the raising of the kids and he might have to take some responsibility for them. He’d assured her God wouldn’t allow that to happen, their children needed her and wouldn’t let her talk about it again.
At one point Meg had tried to secretly take birth control. When Meg went six months without getting pregnant Robert had torn the house apart until he’d found the offending pills that kept her form conceiving. She’d hidden her tears as he poured them down the toilet and called the pharmacist, forbidding them to refill the prescription. Meg had felt her final bit of spirit die as Robert made the call and resigned herself to her life.
Meg rolled once more, staring out of her bedroom at the window. As she had in previous pregnancies she wished she could just give this child to her friend Joan. The news she’d had today increased that desire. Poor Joan wanted nothing more than to have a child of her own. Meg was about to have two more of her own. She hadn’t even had the heart to give Joan the news yet, too worried it might hurt her friend’s feelings.
Joan was a good friend; she’d even talked Meg into going to the doctor with her because she knew Meg was afraid of birth, even though she’d done it so many times before. Meg knew her body was wearing out and just wanted some peace from pregnancy and birth but now she was not only going to have to cope with nine young children but two tiny babies at one time. If Robert would have allowed it Meg would have just handed the new children over to Joan as soon as they were born.
Meg wasn’t heartless, she loved each of her children, she thought to herself in the dark room, but Robert had simply asked too much of her. And poor Joan, childless and longing for nothing more than the chance to be a mother deserved to have her own child.
Meg sighed, knowing she had to accept her fate and look ahead, to how she was going to feed her children, not keep picking over old wounds that would never heal. For some reason her brain would not allow her any rest tonight. The thoughts kept coming and she began to cry softly into her pillow as she thought over her life so far.
Robert had promised her the world when she married him at twenty-two. She’d graduated from college with a degree in teaching and he’d promised he’d allow her to work until she got pregnant, then he’d prefer her to stay home. She’d been eager to start her new life as a teacher and wife, building a life that promised her more than just the endless tea parties and charity drives where her mother paraded her around.
She’d had little idea that Robert would ensure she got pregnant within two months of their wedding, taking note of when her monthly visitor arrived and counting down until the week when she was most fertile. He’d been pleased beyond compare when she informed him of her pregnancy but Meg had been terrified. She knew so many women without mothers and she’d heard the whispered tales of terrible birth experiences. Birth was not something she’d looked forward to as a happy experience.
Robert had also laid his hands on her with that first pregnancy, when she’d insisted on being able to work after the child was born. She’d not lost the child but she’d lost a bit of her own will and her spirit with that beating. Robert had told her the Bible condoned his treatment of her and he always followed his favorite passages to the letter.
Meg had known then there was no escape but every now and then she’d have enough and rebel. By the time the fifth child was born she’d learned to hide her rebellions, to perform them in small ways that Robert wouldn’t notice or in ways that would make him think she was complying. She’d learned deceit from him and Meg hated herself for it.
Rolling over once more Meg thought of what it must be like to be Anne, stuck up on that mountain with her mother. Meg suspected Anne’s tale of her husband John was just that, a tale, but knew Anne’s mother. Sophia and John could often be found on a Sunday discussing the evils of the modern world. Meg didn’t care for the woman and felt deep pity for Anne. The things that woman must have endured growing up with such a hateful mother.
Meg vowed to do what she could for the poor woman, befriending her being the first of her tasks. Meg couldn’t do a whole lot to rebel against Robert but she could help Anne get away from her mother once her child had been born. She’d already written a letter to some of her old friends asking for help for the girl.
Meg’s old friends could be vapid, judgmental, and pointless, their lives revolving around parties and social climbing but they understood charity. Meg hoped she’d be able to help the woman by setting up a fund for after her child’s birth. She’d used the story Anne had told, without telling her friends of her doubts, and posted the letters before Robert even came home.
Meg knew she may be trapped in her life and that there was little she could do for Joan but she knew she could help Anne. Meg was determined to help the woman and hoped letters, and checks, would start arriving soon. She could not ask for that same charity for herself, Robert’s pride could not stand that, but she could ask for Anne. She’d wait until after the child’s birth to tell the woman, she decided with a smile. Her mind finally at peace, having solved one problem, Meg finally fell into a light sleep, the only time she was truly at peace.
Chapter Six
Over the next few months Joan, Anne, and Meg all became friends, the trio often seen doing charitable work together and visiting one another. The exception was that Joan and Meg avoided Anne’s house. They’d all silently agreed that spending time with the sour Sophia was to be avoided.
Anne and Joan bloomed, while Meg began to grow worn-looking. The shots kept her energy levels up but Meg’s body still wasn’t responding well to her tenth pregnancy. The dark circles under Meg’s eyes worried all three women but all they could do was pray and try to ease her burden.
Joan spent a lot more time with Meg than Anne did. It was difficult for Anne to get away from her mother. The woman always had some kind of chores for Anne to do and would apparently throw fits when she thought Anne was spending too much time with the other women.
Anne tried to tell her mother she was with the preacher’s wife and the other woman’s best friend but Anne’s mother accused her of meeting up with men and other things that no woman should accuse her child of doing without good proof. Meg and Joan knew exactly where Anne was, with them, and thought Sophia’s accusations a sign of just how insane the woman was.
Joan was helping Meg bathe the children and feed them, wondering for the millionth time where Robert was that was so much more important than helping his wife with their children when Meg’s phone rang. Meg looked at Joan in question and Joan shook her head, letting the other woman know she had control of the children so Meg could answer the phone in peace.
“Hello?” Joan heard Meg ask.
“Oh, how terrible, yes of course I’ll let Robert know Mrs. Rasnake, tell Anne…” Meg’s words cut off halfway through her sentence and Joan heard her muttering from the other room.
“That woman is a terror and should not be allowed around people.” Meg told Joan as she came back into the warm kitchen where they had three metal tubs set up to wash the children in.
Joan could tell Meg was stalling, there was more than her anger at Mrs. Rasnake causing that crease between Meg’s tired eyes. Joan expected the news wasn’t good and wished Joan would get on with it. The longer Meg stewed over the news the more anxious Joan grew.
Finally, Meg gave a mournful sigh and looked at Joan. Joan braced herself, seeing the tears in Meg’s eyes.
“Anne’s baby was stillborn. I didn’t even know she’d been in labor. Mrs. Rasnake called to ask Robert to say a prayer for her. Not Anne or the baby but for herself. She hung up before I could ask about Anne.” Meg said bluntly, coming to the conclusion that trying to soften the blow wouldn’t work.
Joan gave a stricken cry, her worst fear realized for her friend. Joan put a hand over her mouth, realizing too late that the hand held a wet wash
cloth and spattered herself with water. Wiping at the water Joan looked over at Meg with horror.
“How terrible! And you weren’t able to ask that hideous woman a thing. We should go and see Anne tomorrow.” Joan said, wanting to support her friend.
Joan’s gentle kindnesses were one of the reasons Meg loved her so dearly. Still, she wondered if it would be kind to visit Anne now, in their states, the promise of life resting in their bellies where Anne’s was now empty.
“Do you think that would be wise?” Meg asked, trying to hint at her concern, scrubbing little Simon’s head as Joan washed little Mary’s.
“Because we’re pregnant? I don’t think it can hurt. I didn’t resent it when I lost mine.” Joan said, knowing she’d appreciated the kindness of a visit.
“We are all different though. But if you’d like to go we can.” Meg conceded, pulling Simon out of the water and sending him off wrapped in a towel as little Michael stepped into the water.
“It’s settled then. Can you get a sitter?” Joan asked, sudsing up little Lisa’s head as Mary walked over to the fire to dry her long hair.
“Yes, it won’t be a problem. Now, little Michael, I believe you need a haircut; you’ll be getting that tomorrow son. Rinse your hair darling, come on that’s a good boy.” Meg coaxed her son, knowing they still had five more children to get through.
Joan didn’t get to visit with Anne the next morning, her own labor starting that night. Joan was terrified to see her legs covered in fluids in the middle of the night, although she knew what it meant. She woke up Scott with calm, however, wanting her husband to remain peaceful, even if she was screaming in fear on the inside.
The pains came quickly together and Joan knew enough by now to know she needed to get to the hospital quickly. Scott drove like a demon and the doctor was called in to attend to Joan. The nurses assured Joan all was going according to plan and tried to make her comfortable.
Thriller: Emily Page 13
