Green eyes blinked relief. “Okay.” Then she stared. “Do you mean together?”
He cupped her chin. Brought his lips to hers and gave her a kiss. “Not this time or I might take you against the wall. While I’d like that, you’re sore.”
“I am,” she admitted.
“So I’ll use the hall bath where all my stuff is. There’s supposed to be more than enough hot water for each of us to take showers at the same time. If not, we’ll find out and I’ll add it to my fix-it list.”
She nodded. “Okay. That sounds like a plan.” She let the sheet slip as she rolled over.
He climbed out of bed, scooped up his clothes and strolled down the hall. About a half hour later he was clean, shaved and dressed. He headed back into the bedroom. Scarlett’s bathroom door remained closed. She stepped out in nothing but a towel. “You’re already dressed. I’m…”
He loved the way her face flamed to the color of her hair. Liked how the color spread down over her chest and to the tips of her breasts. Hell, he loved everything about her. “Guys move faster. I wanted to be here when you came out.”
“Good, because every time we’d touched before you didn’t come around for a few days. I’m not embarrassed by what we did. Just worried you might run out.”
He walked around the edge of the bed and took her into his arms. “I won’t do that again. Last night makes me want you more. Love you more. I meant what I said.”
Her arms wrapped around him, stretching the long-sleeve T-shirt she’d put on. “This is still new to me, but I want this.”
“I’ve liked you for over fifteen years. Since freshman year. I’m just as afraid as you are of what happens if it goes south.”
She blinked rapid fire. “I guess I never looked at it that way.”
“I know I’ve probably been a night and day asshole. Pulling you close and then afterward pushing you away. I was afraid. But I wouldn’t have made love to you last night if my head weren’t finally on straight. I want to have an us, but I’m as clueless as you are as to where we go next. I’ve never been in love, or if I have, it’s not what I’m feeling for you. I’m hoping we take it one step at a time and it all works out.”
“That’s the only way I’ve known,” Scarlett admitted.
“Then let me cook you breakfast,” Brad offered.
“I’d like that. And you’re okay with the package deal?”
Brad laughed and drew her into his arms. She felt so right there, like she’d been made to belong there. “I painted part of my house pink. Trust me, I love your daughter. You are a pair. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
He led her down to the kitchen. He’d already cleaned up the articles of clothing he’d shed there last night. “What can I make you?”
“What can you cook?”
“I can make a mean omelet.”
“Then show me.”
Brad was still at her house hours later when Jenni brought Colleen home after lunch.
“Adam and the kids are in the car or I’d stay and catch up,” Jenni said as Scarlett opened the front door. Jenni stepped into the foyer and passed over Colleen’s princess suitcase. Brad came around the corner and reached for it. With his other hand, he boosted Colleen up onto his arm. “Brad!” Colleen said, giving him a kiss.
“Let’s go get you unpacked,” he said. “I’m sure Harry wants to play.”
“Brenna has two cats,” Colleen told him. “When can we get Harry a friend?”
“You’ll have to ask your mom that question,” Brad deflected, winking at Scarlett as he carried Colleen up the stairs.
“Great, another animal,” Scarlett said.
“You knew it would only be a matter of time,” Brad called back.
Jenni’s chin tilted as she tracked them until they were out of sight. “You dog,” she said. She gripped Scarlett’s hands. “You did it.”
“I’m very tired this morning,” Scarlett confirmed with a smirk.
Jenni’s grin split wide. “About time. I can’t wait to hear all the details.” Adam honked the horn and Jenni rolled her eyes. “I’ll text you later. Maybe we can have you all over for dinner next weekend or something. The guys can watch hockey on TV.”
“What about hockey?” Brad asked as he came back downstairs. “She’s unpacking and be prepared for the kitten question. She’s gearing up.”
“Jenni invited us to her house next weekend for dinner and hockey. On TV.”
“Sounds fun,” Brad agreed.
The horn blared again. “That man is the death of me,” Jenni said with another eye roll. She gave Scarlett a hug. “Talk to you later.”
Scarlett locked the door behind her. Turned around and arched an eyebrow. “You up for hockey and dinner?”
“Is that what couples do?”
She folded her arms. “Well, it’s not bar hopping at our age. That requires a babysitter. We go hang out with other couples. With kids.”
“Then I’m up for it.” He reached forward and drew her to him. Pulled her arms apart and wrapped them around his waist. Leaned down and kissed her nose. “I want to be a couple with you.”
“I want that too,” Scarlett said, for she truly did. More than anything this felt right. “But we’re going slow.”
“Meaning?”
“I don’t want to keep us a secret,” she said, stepping out of his embrace so she could keep a clear head. “But I don’t want to be in people’s faces either. I want our relationship reveal to be gradual. Like they suddenly don’t remember a day we weren’t together. They’ll realize it’s been in front of them all along that we’re together.”
“What do we tell Colleen?”
“I’ll figure it out,” Scarlett said. “She loves you already. You’re always here. Telling her we’re dating won’t mean anything to her. She’s too young. So we’ll cross that bridge when you move in.”
He arched an eyebrow. “I’m moving in?”
“Eventually I’d say that’s going to be a logical step if things progress,” Scarlett said with a nod. “And be prepared for when she tells my mom she’s seen us kissing. That will be a moment too.”
Brad drew back. “Okay. Are you trying to scare me like you tried before? I don’t scare easily now. I’m tough. Faced down many a dangerous mission. How hard can this be?”
“How about when she decides you’re her new daddy? Then you’ll really be in the hot seat. Ready for that?”
Panic flickered across Brad’s face. He masked it quickly. “Okay, maybe I’m a bit nervous. But it’ll be okay. I agreed to that too when I signed on. And I’m in love with you. As long as you love me back, I’ll be okay. I’m older. Wiser. I want to be with you,” he emphasized with more conviction.
She could see how serious he was. “Good. Then we’ll take this day by day.”
“As long as we can take things night by night too.” He wiggled his eyebrows Groucho Marx style to lighten the moment.
She laughed. “That will be a little bit trickier, but I’m sure we can figure that out too.”
“Good, because last night was just a prequel.”
“Really?”
“Mmm.” He drew her to him and his lips nipped hers.
“Mommy,” Colleen called.
She stepped out of his arms. “Duty calls. Be up in a minute, sweetheart.”
Brad grabbed her hand and gave her one last tug. “I have some errands to run since I’m working tomorrow. How about dinner later? I’ll bring carryout.”
“Perfect,” Scarlett said. “Can’t wait.”
She followed him to the back door. Gave him a lingering kiss and wished it could be longer. “I’ll text you, so figure out what you’d like me to pick up,” he said.
“Okay.” She kissed him again and then he was through the door. A cold breeze filtered through. “Is it really going to snow again?”
“First of March and that’s what they’re saying,” he said. “Hopefully this is the last cold snap. Keep warm and I’ll see you later.�
��
Later. Such a powerful word and one loaded with so much meaning.
With a smile, she went to see what Colleen needed.
Chapter Ten
Brad brought takeout from the King and I, one of the Thai places on South Grand. They ate their yellow chicken curry and vegetarian spring rolls at the center island. “Yummy,” Colleen said. She rubbed her stomach. “My tummy is full.”
“Good. Because you have a half hour to watch TV or read a book and then it’s bath time,” Scarlett said. “You also have to take care of Harry.”
Colleen lifted her arms. “Brad, carry me upstairs.”
“You can walk,” Scarlett told her daughter.
Colleen pouted and went up the stairs. “She’s going to be trouble with the boys when she gets older,” Brad said. “That pout is killer.”
“Which is why I want to thank you for not crossing me and for making her walk now.”
“Not getting in the way of your parenting,” Brad said, holding his hands up. “My mom didn’t raise a fool.”
“Nope and for that I’m grateful.” Scarlett began to toss the empty carryout containers. “This was a great idea. How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing.”
“I do want to pull my own weight,” Scarlett said. “I’m not a freeloader. There is some money coming in from the insurance annuity each month.”
“Keep it. You can pay me back with kisses later.”
“Hmm.”
Brad recognized his mistake. “Yeah, that didn’t come out right either. But I am going to kiss you later. Quite a few times actually.”
“Next time I buy,” Scarlett insisted.
“Fair enough.” Brad sprayed the counter and began to wipe it down with a paper towel. “Hey, I found the perfect picture for the front hallway the other day. I picked it up when I was in between things today. I didn’t have enough hands to carry it and the food. I’ll go get it in a few minutes.”
Colleen came back down the stairs. “Mommy, Harry pooped again.”
“Yes, he has a way of doing that.” Scarlett sighed. “He’s a pooping machine.”
“It’s time she learned how to scoop,” Brad told Scarlett. “How about I show her?”
“Okay. If you want, I can go to the studio and get the picture.”
He paused on the stairs. “Sure. You can’t miss it. The keys are in my coat pocket. Okay, Colleen. Let’s go scoop poop. Time you did this yourself. Harry’s not getting a friend until you are an expert at it.”
Colleen giggled. “Okay.”
Scarlett shook her head and laughed. Then she shrugged into her coat and retrieved his keys. While the snow was going to miss St. Louis and hit farther south, the temps had fallen into the teens. She crossed the backyard and climbed the stairs into Brad’s tiny studio.
Situated under the roofline and with dormers, the ceiling sloped in places, making much of the space unusable. The result was a crammed room filled with a king-sized mattress and box spring, a small table, a dresser and the kitchenette unit. No wonder he keeps all his stuff over at the house, Scarlett thought.
She saw the picture leaning up against one of the table legs. Wrapped in brown paper and string, she wasn’t sure what it was. As she picked it up, her gaze fell on the table and she paused. Under a magazine was some writing that looked a lot like—she moved the magazine—Todd’s handwriting. The signature at the bottom confirmed it.
The letters were from Todd. Her fingers hovered. Twitched. Hesitated. Then she snatched the first one up. Read it from start to finish:
This is a heavy task to put on a bud, but we’ve been friends for too long to mince words. I’ve enclosed a letter for Scarlett. I need you to keep it until she’s ready to see it. How will you know? When she finds someone and you think she’s falling in love. I don’t want her to be alone, but she’s always so stubborn. She’s too young for me to be the love of her entire life. That wouldn’t be fair. As long as I have a piece of her heart, her love will be big enough for her to move on. Yeah, I’ve been gone too long, and probably haven’t been there for her like I should. So she’ll need someone to take care of her until she gets on her feet and I need you to do that for me. I know she’ll be in good hands. Get her back to St. Louis where she belongs. You’re there, you’ll figure out how. Heck, maybe you’ll be the one because I know you’ve always been sweet on her. I’d be okay with that, provided you treat her the way she deserves and not like all those other women who’ve flitted through your life. Who would have thought I’d be the married dude and you the playboy stud? Do me one favor, just make sure any man would be a great dad to my daughter. And don’t let Colleen ever go a day without knowing how much I loved her. And stop blaming yourself. My decisions were always my own. Remember that. Todd.
Scarlett felt the tears begin to flow. Then she paused. Reread a sentence. What letter was for her? She reread the words, feeling more and more betrayed. There was a letter that Brad was supposed to give her. One he hadn’t even told her about. One from Todd for her. She grabbed the next sheet of paper. Was this it?
Hey, only have a minute to scrawl something. Sending snail mail so I’m sure it gets there—don’t trust those e-mail filters, you know? This next one looks dangerous. Got me thinking. Did I make the right choice? Maybe I should have bailed when you did. Okay, enough melancholy BS. I should start this over but no time. Don’t worry. My head’s in the game. I’ll see you soon. But remember, if I don’t, take care of Scarlett. Be there for her in the way I never was. Love her like I know only you can. Don’t fail me, okay? Nah, you won’t. You’ve always had my back. Todd.
There wasn’t an envelope and the paper seemed to have been folded many times; it was wrinkled from being read over and over. She clutched the loose-leaf sheets in her hands. Automatically grabbed the paper-wrapped picture and carried everything out of the apartment.
Brad was waiting and he opened the back door. “Hey, I see you found it.” He must have sensed something, for he immediately frowned. “What’s wrong?” He took the picture from her fingers and as he did, the letters fell to the floor. He stepped back and set the picture on the island. “Oh.”
“Oh.” Scarlett made no move to pick them up. The white sheets lay like a defect marring the gray tile. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“That Todd gave you a letter for me. That he gave you those letters. Is that why you’re doing all this for me? Because he asked you to?”
“No.” But a hint of guilt had crept into his voice and she heard it. She frowned and grew angrier, zeroed in on what he’d said. “I wouldn’t be in St. Louis if it weren’t for you, for this house.”
“I know.”
He could see the betrayal on her face. Hated he’d put it there. “I care about you a great deal. I always have. I love you.”
“Am I an obsession?”
“I’ve asked myself that many times. No, you aren’t.”
“What about our phone conversations? You played me and he’d asked you to do it.”
“No.”
“You made love to me,” she accused.
“I made love to you because I love you. I wanted to tell you. I thought about breaking my promise. But I didn’t,” Brad said but even to his own ears, the words sounded hollow. They were too little, too late.
“Then why keep these things from me? Why not tell me the truth? You haven’t been honest with me from the start. I should have known there were letters. You should have told me.”
“They were his last wishes. I tried to follow them.”
“So? When we became close you should have told me. Where is my letter?” she demanded.
“In my locker at work. He asked me to give it to you when you’re ready. When you were in love again. Don’t you see the conflict I’ve been in? I’ve wanted you and he wanted me to take care of you.”
“You took advantage of me.”
“Maybe I did. I don’t know.” A hand raked through his
hair. “I love you. Do you not understand my own guilt? I didn’t have his back when he needed it most.”
“You’re making no sense.”
Brad tried to make her see. “Because it’s my fault he died.”
“How can you say that? You weren’t even there.”
“If I’d reenlisted, I would have been there. I would have been on that mission. I could have had Todd’s back. I could have saved him.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I don’t know otherwise. Last night was a dream come true. You’ve always been the one for me. I knew it as far back as high school. I dated but only to find someone, anyone, who could make me forget you. Then Todd died, and he wanted me to take care of you. Told me in as many words to love you like you deserved. I should have been there. I should have saved him.”
“You have to let the guilt go,” Scarlett said, although in reality, she was reeling from all of the revelations. She’d spent one of the best nights of her life with Brad, making love and holding him in her arms, and he hadn’t been fully open with her. Hadn’t told her Todd had sent her a letter. Given her a message.
That was the worst betrayal. The question was if she could forgive him. If they could move past this. She slumped into one of the bar chairs. “You say you love me, but do you really love me because of who I am now or is your love just rooted in obsession, guilt and good sex?”
He appeared stricken.
“It doesn’t matter,” she told him briskly before he could speak. “I need time to think. And I want my letter. I don’t care what Todd’s directions say. I don’t care what his final wishes were. I want it now.”
He shook his head. “I’ll bring it over Tuesday morning after my shift. It’ll be the first thing I do. Unless you want to come by and get it?”
She didn’t want to go to his work. See all his friends. She wouldn’t put him through that awkwardness. “No. I need to think. Tuesday will be fine. We’ll talk again then.”
“Scarlett…” he began. He was losing her. He felt panic unlike any he’d ever experienced. His heart clenched and his breathing came out as a gasp. He’d lied when he said he was tough. Right now he wanted to cry like a baby; the thought of losing her scared him so.
Fan The Flames (Man Of The Month Book 3) Page 17
