“Shit.” He slammed his hand on top of the hood of his Jeep. He wanted her like he’d never wanted anyone in his life, but he couldn’t give up BASE jumping and rock climbing and all the things he loved.
She never asked you to.
He pulled open the driver’s-side door and hopped in. The cold air seeped into his body and he loved how it made him feel alive. Cal wanted him to run all of the excursions. Lana wanted him to go to Vegas and be a goddamn tourist. He couldn’t do it. It just wasn’t him. She could ask him to do anything, but he would never give up his adrenaline junky ways or wear a goddamn uniform and stand at a cash register every day all day.
She never asked you to. Cal never asked you to either.
Cal had wanted some kind of commitment from him, though. “Damn.”
He wished like hell that the little man in his head would shut up. If he went home, Cal would come back to the apartment all too soon, and he wasn’t in the mood for another argument. He pulled out his phone and called Craig.
“What’s up?”
At least one of them was in a good mood. “I need a place to crash for the night. Mind if I stay at your cabin?” It wasn’t heated, but the weather wasn’t too bad to make it uncomfortable.
“Perfect. I’m there myself. I’ve got beer. Come on over.”
That worked out well. In case he could talk Craig into BASE jumping or rock climbing, he dashed home, picked up his gear, and took off for the mountains. He wondered why Craig wasn’t with his wife. Maybe there were some men not destined to be in a long-term relationship.
Too bad his cock got hard thinking about the night in the hotel room. Having the three of them together was such a high. Lana was everything he ever wanted. She’d never even bitched when he’d disappeared or given him any kind of ultimatum about quitting the high-risk adventure sport. Hell, she was perfect.
Then go back to her house and tell her you’ll help plan the trip.
Something was missing, though, and he believed the key to his total happiness had something to do with Cal. Thinking about his brother made his stomach hurt. For the next few days, he didn’t want to think about commitments. Sure, he should check up on the May hiking trip scheduled for next week, but ever since Cal started to meddle, he figured his brother could follow up.
The trip to the cabin took over an hour, as driving in the mountains at night required concentration. When he arrived, the lights were on. Well, crap. So absorbed in his own dilemma, he’d forgotten to pick up an additional six-pack. At least Craig said he had some beer.
He grabbed his sleeping bag and backpack and stomped up the porch stairs. He knocked and pushed open the door.
Craig was on the makeshift sofa drinking a beer listening to his iPod. He tore off the earbuds and jumped up.
“Hey, man. Great to see you.” He threw his arms around him and gave him a hug.
What was up with that? “You okay, man?”
Craig stepped back and waved a beer. “The wife unit gave me the boot.”
He knew how much his friend loved his wife. His gut ached for the guy. “That sucks. What did she say?”
“In a hundred words or less, she said I was too immature and wasn’t willing to do enough around the house. I spent too much time playing.” He tapped his chest. “I fucking run a snowplow business with three other guys. I am responsible.”
“Fucking-A, you are.” The guy made enough money to own this cabin, and he could afford a ton of toys. “So now what?”
He slammed back the beer. “I say tomorrow we get as much adrenaline in our body as we can. You in?”
“Hell yeah.”
“Let me get you a beer.” Since the cabin was only one room, he didn’t have to go far. Next to the sofa sat a cooler he’d plugged in. He pulled out a beer and handed him a bottle. “What are you up to?”
Since Jake had never come at night, Craig probably figured something had happened. “You know that woman I told you about?”
“Lana?”
“Yeah. Tonight she told me she and Cal wanted to plan a vacation with the three of us.”
“It’s that serious?”
See? Craig understood what planning a vacation together really meant. “Seems to be. She had wedding bells reflecting in her eyes.”
“You just walked out?”
He shrugged. “It’s more than that. Cal is being a real dick.” Craig knew that after Jake’s dad died that he’d taken over the running of the outdoor excursions. “Last summer the outfitting job got crazy. I was working seven days a week on it. Then I said fuck it. Life is too short, so I kind of let it fizzle.”
“Isn’t that a main income for the store?”
“Yeah, and that’s the problem. I don’t want to do it all the time.”
“You mean you want to play, like me.”
Jake was thirty-one and not ready to give up his fun. “Yup.”
“Which also means you’re willing to give up the best thing in your life just to jump off a cliff every weekend.”
Is that what he was doing? Did he want to get the adrenaline high at the expense of not being with Lana? “I’m not sure anymore.”
“I can see we might have to have a beer run. This is going to be a long night.”
Chapter Thirteen
Cal hadn’t slept a wink all night. After Jake stomped out of Lana’s house, he told her he needed to leave. There were some major decisions he had to make. While she wasn’t happy with a mere kiss good-night, she seemed to understand that Jake’s actions affected both of them. Last night he’d come to the decision that still had his stomach churning.
The store was open late tonight, but he needed to take an hour break and talk with her. He’d called her at work, knowing she couldn’t really carry on a conversation with her coworkers nearby.
“Can I stop over at six? I won’t stay for dinner.” He didn’t want her to rush out and cook another fabulous meal.
Her hesitation was like a razor slicing his skin in a thousand places. “Okay. What’s wrong? Is it Jake?”
He didn’t know where the hell his brother was and almost didn’t care. “I don’t know what he’s up to. Will you be home?” He didn’t like being so abrupt, but if she asked him too many questions he’d have to tell her everything and now wasn’t the time or place.
“Sure.”
“I’ll see you then.” His hand was shaking when he disconnected.
For the rest of the day he had to work hard at greeting the customers and answering questions with civility. To make matters worse, one of the guides for next week’s trip got injured and was unable to go. He said he’d look for a replacement. That sucked. He needed Jake and he needed him now. There was no doubt in his mind what his brother was doing, and it had nothing to do with caring about the store.
He’d asked Von to mind the store for an hour or so. Given the news he had to deliver, he might be gone only a few minutes. His stomach refused to settle as he drove over to Lana’s house. He had to tell himself he was doing this for her.
Cal got a space in front and inhaled before getting out. The twenty steps to the front door were the hardest and longest he’d ever had to take. He knocked and she answered right away.
There was no smile or open arms. She instinctively knew the news would be bad.
“Come in and tell me what this about. I’ve been upset all day.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Can I get you some wine?”
“No.” He strode over to the chair across from the sofa and motioned she sit.
“What’s going on, Cal?”
“I might as well blurt it out. We have to stop seeing each other.”
Seeing her pain streak across her face made him want to hold her in his arms, but it was best for both of them if he kept his distance. Once he touched her, his resolve would disappear. For his sake, he couldn’t let that happen.
“Why?” Her gaze bounced right then left.
“Jake is not ready to settle down. He’s bas
ically a fuckup. I can’t do that to you.”
Her mouth dropped. “Shouldn’t I have a say in this momentous decision?” Her hands fisted at her sides.
She wasn’t unbiased enough. “You only see the fun-loving Jake.”
“I’ve seen him run away and hide, but I think it’s a phase. Deep inside he’s an amazing person. He’s kind and gentle, and he’s great with kids.”
He knew this was how the discussion would go. “I know that’s what you see, and that’s why it makes it hard to do this. I love you, Lana.” He’d wanted her for years.
“I’m falling in love with you, too.”
Her confession hurt more than it helped. “Jake will never pull his weight.”
“Does he know that you want to get out of this relationship?”
“No. He hasn’t come home yet.”
She leaned back against the sofa. Her chin trembled, and she was kneading the hem of her shirt. “What can we do?”
He loved that she wanted this to work. He did, too, but right now, he needed distance. “When I see him, I’m going to tell him that either he cleans up his act or I’m buying him out of his half of the store.”
She sat up. “That will kill him.”
“He has to grow up sometime.”
“You think an ultimatum is the answer?”
No, and that was the problem. “What else can I do? I’m hoping that his love for you is strong enough to make him change his ways.”
“I don’t think he loves me.”
Cal shook his head. He knew his brother well enough to tell he wanted Lana. Now might not be the right time. “Trust me. He does.”
“I love him for who he is, but I can’t insist he change.”
This was more difficult than he expected. “I know, but Jake can’t go through life pretending he’s a kid.”
He’d wondered if she’d ask if just the two of them could be together, but she probably sensed that only when the three of them were joined that they formed a whole.
He stood before he gave in and made love to her one more time. “I’ll be in touch.”
Her chest inflated as if he’d given her some hope. She got up, too. “Yes. Please do. What happens if Jake tries to convince me to take him back?”
His heart finally split in two. “I can’t tell you want to do. You have to listen to your heart.”
Cal turned around and strode out, despite the strongest urge in the world to draw her near and hold her forever. He closed the door behind him as softly as he could because he wanted the final chapter in their lives to be as kind as possible.
He drove back to the store, cursing his brother every block.
* * * *
Lana lasted all of three hours at work before she called Selena and told her she was coming over. She had to share her grief. Her best friend would help her figure out what to do. Last night had been a horrible blow and had thrown her for a loop. She hadn’t been able to concentrate at work, which was why she hightailed it out of the office.
She told Richard she’d be back shortly and he merely nodded. Outside the day wasn’t too cold, so she chose to walk over to the bed-and-breakfast instead of drive. As she approached, she studied the beautiful three-story building with its large wraparound porch. Even its beauty couldn’t lift her spirits.
Once inside, she headed to the kitchen where Selena was instructing one of her staff.
Lana knocked. “Hey.”
Selena turned around and grinned. “Hi, sweetie.” She gave her a hug. “I’ve missed you.”
“The trial took all of my time. Sorry.”
“Let me bring out some tea and we can talk.”
She’d called her friend and warned she had some serious issues. Selena poured the drinks, placed them and some scones on a tray, and ushered her out. They sat in the back corner near a window.
“Tell me what’s going on. You look like someone died.”
She told her about Cal dumping her.
“Oh no. What are you going to do?”
“I wish I knew. I can’t let the two best loves of my life walk out on me. Cal is being dumb, but I’m really hoping that Jake will come around.”
Selena sipped her tea. “Hell, if it were me, I’d grab a gun, take aim, and tell them to decide what they want.”
She had to laugh at that image. “That’s what I love about you, Selena Easton. You are a pistol, and I mean that in the nicest way.”
“You got that right.” She leaned close. “Here’s what you do. Invite them to your house and greet them in nothing but a thong.”
She burst out laughing. “Seriously?”
“They have to see what they’re giving up. Cal needs to give himself and Jake a break, and Jake needs to make a commitment. By running off all the time, he’s eroding his brother’s trust.”
She couldn’t agree more. They spent another hour chatting about how Selena was doing with the two new men in her life.
“Andrew and Sam are amazing and wonderful.” Her shoulders sunk down.
“So what’s the problem?”
“They leave to go home to Santa Fe tomorrow. Andrew wants to stay, but not Sam.”
Lana leaned back. “I wished I’d gotten to know them. They’d left Spirit before I arrived, and since then our paths have never crossed.”
A sly grin crossed her face. “Oh, I, too, have some plans to prevent them from staying away for a long time.”
“Do tell.”
After hearing about her plan, Lana was more determined than ever to fight for Cal and Jake.
Bolstered by her newfound direction, she hugged Selena and left. She knew this was right, just like she knew it was right to put Anna Witcolm on the stand. Sometimes one needed to take the bull by the horn and look it in the eyes.
As she walked down the steps of the bed-and-breakfast, the day seemed fresher and brighter. Next stop was the sex shop. This time she planned to buy something more than lingerie. She might be a little embarrassed to ask about a dildo that went in her ass, but if that’s what Cal liked to do, she wanted to please him.
Inside, the place was bustling. Good for Casey. It always pleased her when an entrepreneur succeeded. The newly renovated space gave the formerly tired store a whole new atmosphere of sophistication.
Lana sorted through the lingerie. Instead of going for classy, she wanted to inch toward something out of her comfort zone.
“Hey, Lana.” Casey leaned over and gave her a hug. Selena must have talked her up a lot since she and Casey hadn’t spent much time together.
“I love what you’ve done with the place.”
“Thanks. Sin and Evan have done an amazing job.”
“They have.” From the way she said their names, she was falling under their spell. “So how’s it going with them?” Lana thought the world of both men and hoped they’d find happiness with Casey.
She pressed her lips together. “They are amazing. The problem is I want to start my own PR firm, not run a store.”
Pain rumbled across her pretty face. “What are you going to do?” It was the same question she wanted to ask Jake. Would love win?
“I don’t know.” Her eyes began to water, and the last thing Lana needed was something to bring her down.
“Well, good luck. Maybe you can help me.”
Casey let out a breath as if she was desperate for something to distract her. Lana told her what she was trying to do with her new men.
Her face brightened. “I have just the thing.”
Casey brought her over to another rack and lifted up a pair of panties that had the crotch missing. The bra she chose barely covered her breasts, but she hoped that as soon as her men saw her, they’d want to take her in to bed right away.
“That’s perfect. I also am looking for some lube and an anal dildo.” Heat raced up her face as she whispered her request.
Casey smiled sweetly. “Don’t be embarrassed. When I first arrived I was in a constant state of having my face heat up. Now, nothing gets to
me.”
“I’m glad.”
Between the two of them, Lana got exactly what she needed. All that was left was to convince the men to come over to her house.
* * * *
Jake came back from jumping off Mount Pilot, but this had been the most dangerous jump he’d ever made. The wind had been swirling, which made the currents unpredictable.
“This jump definitely was for the record books.” Craig came in limping. He’d landed wrong.
“You were lucky you didn’t break a leg.”
“Been there, done that.”
It was the hazard of extreme sports. The excitement should be zinging through his veins, but it wasn’t.
Craig dropped down on to the sofa. “Get me a beer, will ya?”
“Sure.” He pulled two from the cooler and handed him one.
“What was wrong with you today?”
Jake’s mouth twisted. “Been thinking.”
Craig popped the top off the bottle and swigged half of it down. “That’s dangerous. Maybe you should get your act together.”
He didn’t need a lecture from his best friend even though he deserved it. All the way down from the cliff, he tried to imagine what life would be without Lana, and he didn’t like it.
“Maybe. Disappointing people sucks. Disappointing yourself sucks worse.”
“True.”
“I’ve been thinking about pulling my weight at the store, but that would require me to really take over the expeditions and make them my own.”
“If you need help, let me know. Seems like I have some free time on my hands.” Craig waved his bottle.
“Thanks, gimp. I’ll keep that in mind. If you’re good to get around without me, I’m going to head back and see if Cal and Lana have planned their two-person wedding already.”
Craig laughed. “They’d never leave you out.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.” That concept scared him the most. “We’ve got a spare room if you need a place to crash.”
Craig smiled. “I might take you up on that.”
During the drive home, his spirits began to improve as he thought about his new plan. Both Cal and Lana would be at work. For the first time in his life, he felt good about his direction. There were a lot of ways he could handle his newfound goals. He could speak with Lana and tell her that he wanted to change or he could show his brother once and for all they were going to be a team. Showing held a lot more weight than telling.
Her Colorado Dreams [Spirit, Colorado 1] Page 13
