by Gene Wolfe
“It’s me, sir, Pouk Badeye. I got some water here, sir, thinkin’ you might like it.”
I took it, the kind of wooden mug they call a cannikin.
“It ain’t good water, sir, but you can drink it. I been drinkin’ it. They feedin’ you, sir?”
It was hard to remember. Finally I said, “I don’t think so. I’ve been sleeping most of the time. Dreaming.” Back in a corner of my mind I was still trying to figure out how my bed had turned into a big coil of rope.
“I didn’t think so. I’ll try an’ get you somethin’, sir. Cook’ll give me somethin’ if he knows it’s for you.”
It was so dim in there that I could just barely make out Pouk’s face. That was when I asked Pouk where I was, and he told me, “Cap’n wanted to kill you, sir, only we wouldn’t let him. We’d o’ mutinied, sir, if he’d tried it. He was goin’ to, sir. He come up to where you was layin’ an’ raised up his sword, sir, and I felt it go all though the ship, men standin’ up that had been sittin’, an’ feelin’ for axes an’ knives an’ pikes. So he couldn’t, sir, not then. He had some carry you down here, sir, with Nur to watch ’em. Only I got to go, sir, ‘fore I’m missed.”
Pouk had become another dream. I heard him say, “I’ll bring you somethin’. I will that.” But the Osterlings were gaining on us, their thin black ship leaping across the sea, and the arrow was at my ear.
* * *
A friend came and licked my face.
* * *
Next time I woke up I was myself again. Weak, and scared when I saw how weak I was. It was damp in the cable tier; my wound was hot, but I shivered there for hours.
* * *
“Here y’are, Sir Able, sir. Sprat dumplin’s, sir.”
I looked up at the sound of a stranger’s voice. It was too dark to make out his face, but metal clinked on metal and there was a good smell. In another second or so it was under my nose, crisp outside and soft inside, full of flavor, greasy and wonderful. I chewed and swallowed and had to fight to keep from swallowing without chewing. When I had finished, I asked who he was.
“Cook, sir. Hordsvin’s me name.” He gulped. “Fought next ta ya wi’ me cleaver, Sir Able. Had me napron on but warn’t hog’s blood on it. Me helper fought, ta, sir. Surt’s his name. He’s watchin’ out fer me na. Had me big knife.”
A warm thing was pushed into my hand. I took it, bit off too much, and choked.
“Drink this, sir. Your man come, Sir Able, only he’d of et it hisself, I was afeerd. So I brung ’em, sir. They’s me specialty, Sir Able, sir. I’ll leave th’ pan wi’ th’ lid on so’s th’ rats don’t get ’em.”
After that I rationed them out to myself, and thought about what I would have to do.
* * *
The next time Pouk came, I told him, and he said, “You can’t fight him, sir. He’ll kill you an’ we’ll kill him, but it won’t do no good. So wait up, sir, till you’re stronger.”
“What if I’m weaker? I’ll make peace if I can, but if I can’t shake his hand I’ll break his neck. Did he really want to kill me?”
“Aye, sir.” Pouk’s voice had become a shamed whisper. “I shoulda killed him then, only I didn’t. You’d of, an’ no countin’ costs. Only I’m not you, sir, an’ I know it.”
“I’m not you, either. I’m no seaman. Help me up.”
“You’re too weak, sir.”
“I know.” I felt like I ought to be angry, but I was not. “That’s why I wanted you to help me.” He did, taking my hands and pulling me up. “I’m a knight,” I said. “We fight when we’re weak.”
“Why’s that, sir?” Pouk sounded like he was a million miles away. I said I could not explain, there was not enough time. I tried to take a step and fell down.
After that I was in bed, and a nurse came in and said I had fought the hijackers, and everybody was so proud of me they could bust. There was a dog in the hospital, that was why she was there, and had I seen it?
Chapter 20. Sword Breaker
T here were shouts outside the cable tier. The door opened, and a seaman looked in . “Cap’n, Sir Able. Nothink ter worry h’about, sir. We’re watchin’ an’ won’t let ’im h’in.”
I said I wanted to talk to him, but the door had already closed. It got quiet again, just the creak of the timbers and the slap of the waves on the side of the ship, things I had been hearing so long I hardly heard them at all. I had a blanket and a bottle of brandy. The blanket had been one of mine, Pouk said, and he had pinched the brandy from the captain’s private stock. I had drunk some; it made me terribly dizzy, and I swore I would not drink any more.
* * *
“I’m just a kid,” I told Pouk between mouthfuls. He did not understand kid, so I said, “A boy who’s supposed to be a man after one night with a woman.”
“Aye, sir. I’ve felt th’ same many’s a time.”
Right here I want to stop everything and say something like this has happened to me a lot. I have tried to tell other men about Disiri and me and how I changed. And they have said the same thing happened to them. I do not think it did, really. They felt like it did. I felt like it did too, but I felt that way because it really did. Of course they would say the same thing.
“Just a boy,” I told Pouk. “A boy who thought he was a brave knight.”
“I ain’t never seen no braver man nor you, sir.” Pouk sounded ready to fight anybody who contradicted him. “Why, when them Osterlings got through the net, who was it went for ’em?”
I stopped eating to consider the question. “The dog, I’m sure. The dog Megister Nur couldn’t find.”
“No, sir! It was you. The rest o’ us come after, an’ if you hadn’t gone, we wouldn’t o’ gone at all, sir. Them Osterlings, they didn’t never think we’d have no knight aboard. You had ’em beat ‘fore anybody caught breath. Time you went down, they was cuttin’ free.”
It took a while, but I nodded. “I remember. Or anyway I think I might. Enemies in front of me and on both sides. Striking them with the mace we bought from Mori. Where is that, by the way? Do you know what happened to it?”
“Cap’n got it, prob’ly, sir.”
“Find out, if you can. I’d like to get it back.” I stopped talking for a while to eat and scratch my head. “I need something for my left hand, Pouk. A shield, or at least a stick I could use to stop blows. I had to do it with the mace.”
“Aye aye, sir. I’ll keep my eye out for somethin’.”
“Then look for my bow and quiver while you’re at it. And for the dog. Is the dog still on board?”
“Wyt seen it last night, sir. Mighty thin it looked, Wyt says, and slavered like to eat him.”
“At least the captain hasn’t got him.”
Pouk coughed. “Speakin’ of Cap’n ... As we was, sir, ’cause he’s prob’ly got
’em. Speakin’ o’ him, I’ve learnt what he’s plannin’, sir. He told Mate, an’ Mate told Second, and Njors heard him an’ told me. When we get to port, sir, he’ll pay off the crew and let ’em go ashore. He thinks everybody’ll go, only I won’t, sir. Him an’ Mate’ll come down here to do for you then, only I’ll be with you.” I said no. “I won’t wait for them. How long before we get to port?” Pouk shrugged. “I ain’t no navigator, sir. Could be five days. Could be ten.”
“Forcetti?”
“No, sir, Yens, sir. That’s what they say. If you’re through eatin’, sir—”
“No.” I got to my feet, without help and without a lot of trouble. “Let me take that back. I’m through eating, but I’m not through with this stewed beef you brought me.”
“I wouldn’t talk quite so loud, sir. First might be around.”
I had not even noticed that I had raised my voice, but I raised it some more.
“I’ve been trying to keep quiet, like you said, but what good is it? The captain’s made his plans. I’ve got to stop him from following through. I want my bow, as soon as you can get it. The bow and the bowstring—the string’s very important.
My quiver too, and all the arrows you can find, if you can find some.”
“Aye aye, sir.”
I opened the door of the cable tier. “Gylf!” I made it loud, but it had not been loud enough. “Gylf! Here, Gylf!”
“Sir? Who’s-?”
“My dog. He really is my dog, Pouk, until his old owner wants him back. I didn’t want him because I was afraid of him. I tried to get rid of him before we forded the Irring. I made him go and told him never to come near me.” I took a deep breath. It hurt bad, but I took it. “GYLF! Come here, Gylf!”
I think Pouk would have run if I had not grabbed him. “I thought I’d shaken him when you and I got on this ship.”
I stopped to whistle.
“It’s night now, isn’t it? That’s why it’s so dark in here—no sunlight leaking in.”
“Aye, sir.”
“I’ll talk to the captain tomorrow, after he’s had his breakfast. I owe him that much. You can tell him, if you want to.”
I heard the scrabble of dull claws out in the hold, and I opened the pan Pouk had brought and put it on the floor for Gylf.
* * *
I knew that cabin, and I knew there was no way to lock the door if you were not inside. If the captain had eaten in there, I was going to go in when Hordsvin’s helper came in to clear away the dishes; but it did not happen like that. He ate on the roof of the sterncastle, which was what I had been expecting, and Gylf and I just came up out of the hold and walked into the cabin like we belonged there. Which we did.
By the time he came in, I had found the foreign mace I had gotten in Irringsmouth and strapped it on. He opened the door and saw us, yelled for Kerl, and then (I guess because I was sitting down and had not pulled out my mace) shut the door and barred it. His sword was under his mattress, like before. I had found it already and left it there. I could have stopped him from getting it, no problem, but I did not.
When he had it I said, “Don’t you trust Kerl?”
The captain just looked at me, not saying anything. I told Gylf to let him see him then, and he did. He had been lying in a corner where it was dark and he came up out of there like brown smoke but all solid and snarling. “I can kill you if I want to,” I told the captain. “I beat you before, and I can beat you again. Gylf could kill you, too, and you won’t stand the ghost of a chance against both of us. Do you own this ship? Some of the crew told me you did.”
“Half.”
“Fine. I don’t want it. I never did. I don’t want to kill you, either.” I stood up and held out my hand. “Put that sword away. I don’t think we can ever be friends, but we don’t have to be enemies either.”
He stood there looking at us for maybe half a minute. Then he laid the sword down on his bed and sat down beside it. “You don’t object to my sitting in my own cabin?”
“It’s my cabin,” I told him, “but only until I get off at Forcetti.”
“I’m sitting, so you can sit down again. Go ahead. Your wound can’t have healed already.”
I did. “I want my bow and I want my money. Somebody told me you had them, but he was too scared of you to come in here and get them for me. So I’m here to get them myself. You’ve got that sword, which is yours, and you’ll have some money of your own. Go get it, and give me mine. All I want is what belongs to me. Give it to me, with my bow, the case, and my quiver, and you can go away without fighting.”
He shook his head.
“I didn’t think you would. All right, here’s my last offer. Gylf and I will go out on deck. Before the next watch, you clear out of this cabin, leaving all my stuff—money, bowcase, armor, and so forth—where I can find it. Twenty-two gold ceptres, most of them new and all real gold, plus my other stuff. Will you do that?”
He stood up and Gylf growled. I was afraid he was going to grow into the black thing that had killed the outlaws, and I told him not to.
“You’ll return my ship and its cargo to me when we reach port?”
“Sure,” I said. “But I don’t want them in the first place. I don’t—” He was grabbing his sword. I got the mace out just in time to block the cut.
It sounded like a big hammer hitting an anvil. The next cut would have lopped off my head, but I blocked it too. I never had stood up. I was on one knee in front of the chair. The third cut came very fast and broke his sword blade. That was when I decided to call my mace Sword Breaker. Gylf jumped on the captain as soon as his sword broke and pulled him down, and I hit him with Sword Breaker thinking I would knock him out. I hit him too hard, though, and the diamond-shaped blade went deep into his head instead. It came out with blood and brains all over it. I just stood there looking at it, and thinking of Disira and saying, “Good lord, good lord,” about twenty times. Then Gylf said, “Shall I eat him?” and I knew he was right and we had to get rid of the captain. So I wiped Sword Breaker on his coat and pushed him out a window, and we cleaned up. After that I went out on deck and talked to Kerl. I told him he was captain now, and Nur was the first mate. I said that the captain had jumped me, and told him what had happened after that. I said if he wanted to tell somebody when we got to Forcetti, that was all right, but they would probably keep the Western Trader there a long time for the trial and so on.
He said it might be better if everybody just said the captain had died on the voyage, and we had buried him at sea. I said that was fine with me, and it really was the truth or pretty close. So he got the crew together and told them, and nobody seemed to mind very much.
After that I thought maybe Head Breaker or something, but somebody was sure to ask whose head it had been, so I stuck with Sword Breaker. Later I gave Sword Breaker to Toug and he called her that too, because that was what I told him.
Chapter 21. Seeing Them
T hat night Gylf and I talked things over in our cabin. He did not say much, not then and not ever, but he was a good listener and when he did say something it was a real good idea to listen close and think about it afterward. The thing was, I was afraid my wound was not getting any better, and I thought it might be getting worse. It felt as hot as fire, and when I pressed it blood came out, mixed with other stuff.
I was scared. I know I have not said a lot about being scared, but I was scared pretty often the whole time I was in Mythgarthr. I am not going to go back now and tell you about all the times, there would be no point in it. And besides, some of the worst times were times I have not told anything about, like when I was out hunting just after Bold Berthold took me in and I shot the bear and it chased me up a tree. I had not thought a big bear like that could climb trees, and it was brown anyway and not black. I guess the bears in the Forest of Celidon are different from the bears we have at home, because it could climb quicker than I could. When it got really close I stuck an arrow down its throat and it fell out of the tree and went away. I was so scared I could not climb down. I just held on and shook for a long time. I had dropped my bow when I ran, and the bear had just about bitten my hand off when it snapped down on the shaft.
Anyway, I was scared and Gylf and I talked about my being wounded and what might happen. He said those deep wounds were the worst because you could not lick them clean. I laughed because I could not have licked there. I would have washed it. Only I thought about the kind of water we had on the ship, and he was right. Licking would have been better.
After a while I remembered Bold Berthold’s telling me that the Bodachan would fix up sick animals sometimes, and they had helped him as much as they could. Then too, Disiri was an Aelf, and I was sure she would help me if she knew I was hurt. So I said what we needed to do was get in touch with some Aelf that might help us, and were there some on this boat?
Gylf put his head down between his paws, and I could see he was holding something back. So I said, “Well, if you know where some are, how about if you try to get them to help me? If they won’t I won’t be any worse off than I am right now.”
He just looked at me for a while, then he went to the door and scrat
ched it so I would let him out. I did. It was dark by then, and the moon and the stars were out, and we had just enough wind to fill the sails; that was my favorite time on the ship, every time I was on it.
Then Gylf pushed past me, because the door was pretty small, and ran across the deck and jumped over the rail. When he came back and we had talked, I went out on deck again and asked Kerl if he was afraid of the Aelf.
He scratched his head the way I do sometimes. “I dunno, Sir Able. I never seen one.”
“You will,” I said. I pointed to the sailors who were on that watch. They were asleep on deck except for the helmsman and the lookout. I told Kerl to wake them up and send them below, and said he could give them any reason he wanted to.
He looked kind of surprised. “Do I have to give them a reason, Sir Able?”
I said no, and he started yelling at them to wake them up. I told one to find Pouk when he went below and send him to me. We had him steer and sent the helmsman below. The way that wind and that sea were, I could have steered the ship myself, or we could have tied the wheel. Pouk had no idea what was going on then, and neither did Kerl.
Once the watch had gone below, Gylf jumped over the side again. After that there was nothing to do but wait, so I sat down in one of the crenels. Kerl was scared. He came up to me, very quiet. “He’s no ordinary dog, is he, sir?”
I said no.
“He’s comin’ up to breathe, mebbe, where we don’t see him, sir?”
I said yes, and pretty soon he went away. The moon was a narrow crescent, just beautiful. After a while I could see it was really a bow, and see the Lady holding it. I did not know a thing about her then, but I saw her anyway; she is the Valfather’s daughter, the most important one. Bold Berthold had always said Skai was the third world, and the people up there were the Overcyns. Seeing her like that I wondered about Number Two and Number One. I had asked him about those one time, but he only said nobody knew very much.
