“Alright, everyone’s gone. Now you two can tell me what the fuck is going on?”
Chapter Eleven
They quickly schooled their features but Harley knew her bluntness startled them.
Dex sat on the chair opposite hers and leaned his elbows on his knees. “Explain what you mean.”
“What do I mean?” She nodded. “Okay…I get the guilt. It was more than six years ago. I was very young, incredibly stupid, and pathetically naïve. Fine. Why are you both here now? You’re pro basketball players for God’s sake. Why are you bothering? Is it because you’re friends with my brother? Don’t you have…work to do or something?”
“We love you, Harley.” Beck said it in a way that implied she was being deliberately obtuse.
Harley narrowed her eyes. “That’s sweet. You love me…really? I can assure you, I’m going to be just fine. You’ve been here almost constantly for months. Grown men don’t do crap like that without a motive. What is your motive?”
Beck noticeably winced. “I deserve that, Harley. Hell, I deserve a lot worse. The fact that you haven’t done an interview with ESPN about how shitty I treated you, with full details, speaks to your character. I may not have been celibate for the last half dozen years, but…”
“Now that I never would have guessed. You haven’t been celibate? As if I expected celibacy from you, Beck. Give me a fucking break. You couldn’t be faithful if someone cut off your dick. I’ll ask again, what the hell do you want?”
Beck sighed. “This isn’t going as I hoped.”
Shaking his head, Dexter snorted. “You’re a fucking idiot, dude. After everything that happened, you tell her you haven’t not fucked other people. Do you have a handbook on the wrong shit to say, man?” He turned to Harley. “He is an idiot but he’s an idiot that’s been pining over you for years. The one that got away and all that. Then we get here and there’s a little girl…his little girl. That was crazy. It really was.”
Harley rubbed her fingers over her temples. “Guys, I’m not up for whatever it is that you’re trying to get to. I get really bad headaches now. After PT this morning, I’m wiped out. Is there a way to get to the point sometime today?”
She stared at her daughter’s father. “Beck, my bottom line is that I don’t trust you…at all. I don’t know if there is anything you could do that would make me trust you again. I had injuries to my brain, Beck. I can’t remember the names of people I’ve known all my life without focusing.”
The pain was still there.
“Yet, despite everything I’ve forgotten, my memory of you joyfully fucking two women a couple of months after getting me pregnant is crystal fucking clear. That’s funny, right?”
Her laugh was bitter and she turned to the other man. “Dex, I don’t know where you play in all this. I’m sorry I made you guilty by association. You three have your boys’ club and I should have known you’d cover for each other, lie to me, and let my heart be pureed. I had no right to expect love, loyalty, respect, or honesty from any of you…you only have that for one another. I was stupid. I grew up. Now I know better.”
Dexter moved to sit on the ottoman next to her outstretched leg. “No, Harley. You’re wrong. You had every right to expect us to be better men than we were. Every right to believe we’d protect you, even from one of us.”
She watched the big man inhale deeply. “I knew Beck was getting into Ecstasy and all kinds of other shit. I knew he was well along the road to sex addiction and rolling all the damn time. I covered for him and tried to keep him straight.” He closed his eyes.
“I let him go back to you and lie. I allowed him to keep you tied to him so he could pretend everything was fine. I watched you believe him a little less every time as you heard stories. I did that. I was just as guilty as he was.”
“Dex, none of this matters anymore. I was eighteen. I’m twenty-four now, with a child and a life. Well, I had a life.” Think about that later. “I still don’t understand why either of you are here. Is it for my forgiveness? I forgive you. Go fuck as many people as you want. It is none of my business and it hasn’t been for a long time. I don’t care anymore.”
Beck sat on the arm of her chair and rubbed his face with his hands. “I want you to care, Harley. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’ve been through more counseling than you’d believe. I’m different than I was. I swear I am. That you couldn’t trust me enough to tell me about Lexie…it kills me. As a man, as a human being. I would have helped you.”
“I made it through, Beck. My parents helped me. If they hadn’t been able to do all they did, I would have moved back home, gone to community college. No matter what, I would have made it.” She swallowed around the lump in her throat.
“I went back and forth about telling you, but you were just too fucked up for me to want you around her. I don’t know how much you’ve changed because I never really knew you at all. I still don’t know you.”
Harley leaned back in the chair, taking the pressure off her pelvis.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Beck. It will probably be another year before you could even expect the only thing you ever wanted from me. Hell would have to freeze over first.”
He looked down at her and she had to look away. “Look at me, Harley.” She clenched her hands in her lap. “Sex is not the only thing I wanted from you. You’re the only woman I ever loved.”
“Beck, your kind of love hurts because you don’t know what it means to love someone.” Harley’s head was ready to explode. “If I’m the only woman you ever loved, I need to tell you…you sucked at it. Stick with fucking because love is highly overrated.”
A look of intense pain crossed his face. “I took your beautiful heart and crushed it. I’ll never forgive myself.”
She rubbed her temples hard. “Turns out, I didn’t need it after all.” Standing carefully, she moved slowly toward her room. “Dex, take him home. Find him a couple of groupies and get a couple for yourself with my blessing. I’m going to work my ass off to get better and raise my daughter. I hope you get that championship and everything else you want.”
Closing the door softly, she laid down on her bed and put everything into not crying.
After several minutes of silence, she heard Dex snap, “In future, can you please just shut the fuck up? Picture in your mind her view from the door of our dorm room that day?”
There was a low moan from Beck.
“Yeah, now what if you suddenly knew that everything you’d heard for almost two years…it was all true. The drunken parties, streaking naked across campus, the orgies. You’re an eighteen-year-old girl and Beckham Pierce is your boyfriend, the man you gifted with your fucking innocence. You’re in love as only a teenage girl can be.”
Beck sobbed, “I wouldn’t forgive me, either.”
“Bingo. Telling her you continued to fuck other people after she caught you…that was fucking stupid.” Dex sighed. “I knew you were too fucked up for her from the beginning. You went after her anyway. You took everything she gave you and it wasn’t enough.”
“I’m sorry, Dex.”
“I loved her as much as you did. I would have treated her better and I would have protected her. You had to make it a fucking competition. Now neither of us will ever have her. I want to thank you for screwing up my chances as much as your own.”
Harley heard Dex walk toward her room and she closed her eyes. She stayed on her back with her face turned to the window.
He pulled a light blanket off the end of the bed and covered her gently. A huge hand stroked over her hair and he sighed. He leaned over, kissed her temple, and whispered, “I love you so much, Harley. I’m sorry…for everything. More than you ever realized and more than I can tell you.”
A moment later, he left the room and pulled her door closed behind him.
Harley opened her eyes and stared up at her ceiling. She traced her temple with her finger, touching where Dex had kissed her.
Dexter was in love with her?
/>
Not as a little sister? Not as his best friend’s girlfriend? When had that happened?
Her heart was in her throat the entire time he yelled at Beck. Surely, he hadn’t been in love with her for so long.
She needed a pain pill but refused to take one. When Lexie came in an hour later, she stood carefully and went to wash her face. A long soak would be wonderful but she was afraid to try to maneuver the tub.
With a heavy sigh, she went out to see her little girl.
The moment she entered the living room, Lexie charged in complete happiness. Harley braced herself for impact, lost her balance, and everyone cried out at the same time.
Dex scooped Lexie up a second before she hit and caught Harley carefully in his other arm as she stumbled and started to fall.
She gasped and he smiled down at her. “Guarding is what I do, remember?”
She nodded slowly, dazed. His dimples killed her as they always had.
“Lexie, your mommy has to sit first, remember what we talked about? Even though she isn’t in the hospital, she’s still hurting. Sit first, then she can snuggle. You can climb up beside her. How does that sound?”
Lexie’s mouth formed an O. “I forgot you said that Dex. I saw Mommy and our talk went right out of my head.” She grinned. “Good thing you caught her. You’re huge, Dex. I’ll be careful. Cross my heart.”
Harley had no idea how to react. The feel of Dex’s muscled arm over one shoulder, across her back, his huge hand curling around her waist had her breathing too hard. He held her easily against him. The heat of his body sank through her clothes from her shoulder to her hip.
Lexie grabbed his face and gave him a smacking kiss on the lips before he set her on her feet. Very carefully, he pivoted Harley to her feet and around to the sofa, sat her gently on her butt, and kissed the top of her head.
Then he straightened quickly and left her apartment.
Lexie climbed up beside her on the less injured side and snuggled in for a chat about her day.
Harley glanced at the other adults. Her parents looked between her and the door. Beck and Hart whispered to one another for a moment and Beck left to follow Dex.
Hart came to sit on his niece’s other side. A little while later, Lexie went in the kitchen for a snack after kissing their cheeks.
Her brother scooted closer. “How you feeling, Harpy?”
“I’ve been better, Hartless.” Laying her head on his huge arm, she sighed. “I think I need to go home for a while, Hart. I’m scared I won’t be able to take care of Lexie alone. Winter is revving up and with the ice and snow, I’m worried.”
“Come stay with me in Phoenix, Harley.”
Bailey gasped. The sound matched Harley’s shock at the suggestion.
She lifted her head. “Why in the world would you want that? You have a busy life, Hart. A gimpy sister and six-year-old niece will cramp your style, Hart.”
Her big brother wrapped her hand in both of his. “Harley. I love you. I should have done a better job as your brother. Let me make it up to you.”
“Hart, we’re fine. All that’s in the past and you don’t owe me anything.”
He smiled. “I have a huge gym, it’s warm year-round, and your room has a Jacuzzi tub. We can get a nanny in to help keep Lexie on a schedule and take her back and forth to school. You’ll be able to concentrate on getting better and enjoy your time with your daughter. I have an amazing doctor. He did wonders for my shoulder last year.”
“It’s crazy, Hart. You don’t have to do this.”
“Think about it. You can come back with me.” Her eyes went wide. “I’m serious, Harley. I’ve never been more serious in my life.”
She stared into the eyes that were a reflection of her own and saw that her brother meant every word. “You have to be sure, Hart. I can’t uproot Lexie if…”
“Come with me to Phoenix. You’re going to love it.” His smile lit up his entire face.
Returning it, she felt as if a missing piece slipped into place inside her. “I love you, Hart. Thanks.”
He hugged her as firmly as he could without causing her pain. “Thank you, Harley. It will be so good for you and Lexie. I promise.”
Chapter Twelve
Harley looked out over the desert view from the balcony of her bedroom in Hart’s sprawling home on the outskirts of Phoenix.
After talking things over with her parents and Bailey, they agreed the move was a great idea. Lexie was excited to live closer to her uncle and his friends.
Beck and Dex had stayed silent throughout the family discussion, but she could tell they wanted her in Phoenix, closer to them.
She was unsure exactly where they saw her in their lives and part of her was scared to find out.
In the end, she knew the move was the right choice for both her and her daughter. They packed up the necessities, arranged for the rest to be shipped, and left Raleigh behind three days later.
The dry heat was excellent for her bones and joints. She felt that her rehabilitation was progressing far faster here. Hart’s house was a single story so stairs were no longer an issue and ice and snow were never a concern in Arizona.
Harley thought back over the past few months with a smile.
Their lives were completely different now. Instead of spending all their time active but ultimately isolated with each other for company, Hart dragged his sister and niece out of the house regularly.
She saw Bailey more often these days since the commute from California was a short flight. It was one of the best parts of living with her brother.
Usually, they were joined by Beck and Dex. The three men seemed to have endless energy to play with her little girl and she was grateful Lex didn’t have to rely on her much slower mom.
The luxuries of Hart’s home had her daughter in a near swoon. The first time she’d watched her favorite Disney movie in the miniature movie theatre, she’d been in heaven.
Lexie loved her new school. Summer vacation started in just a couple of weeks and she’d be going into the first grade in the fall. She was in the middle of another growth spurt. Her pediatrician thought she’d match Harley’s five-eleven height.
How quickly time flew.
The bedroom she lived in was ideal and she had a feeling that Hart had prepared it while she was still in the hospital. He must have thought about her coming to live with him for months before he actually spoke with her about it.
As a natural morning person all her life, she loved that her view faced the east. Watching the sunrise each morning started her day off right.
She left her bedroom dressed in yoga pants and a soft t-shirt. Her daughter skidded to a stop coming out of the bathroom and snorted. “I almost forgot to brush my teeth!”
“That would have been tragic. You don’t want to be the kid with bad breath, honey.”
They walked together to the front door and Lexie’s sparkling laughter filled her with happiness. Harley kissed her goodbye and waved at the nanny Hart found for her. Cathy returned it with a smile as she waited for Lexie to buckle up then reversed from the driveway.
Her personal trainer and physical therapist showed up promptly at eight. Joanna worked Harley to the point of agony before giving her a full body massage and sending her to the sauna at ten.
She always had to use the cane after their sessions but most of the time she walked slowly with a limp. The slow pace pissed her off but at least she could walk.
The last series of X-rays showed vast improvements in the healing of her body. Her neurologist confirmed she had no permanent damage.
There were times she forgot things but overall, it was a small price to pay for being able to tie her shoes and read. Headaches snuck up on her whenever she became overly stressed physically or emotionally.
It happened when Dex and Beck dropped by unexpectedly. She loved them and her mind told her that was a very stupid thing to do. The conflict caused her to freak out a bit. Sometimes, if she knew they were coming, she’d take
an anxiety pill and curse herself for being weak.
The combination of the massage and the steam eased the tightness of her muscles and she got out of the sauna feeling refreshed. She walked to the bathroom just off the gym where a large mirror reflected her entire body.
There was extensive scarring on her leg, hip, along her collarbone, and in her scalp. She missed her flawless caramel skin.
Her hair was almost to her shoulders from the military cut she’d talked Bailey into giving her the year before. The scar along her cheek from cosmetic surgery was pale and her nose was the one she remembered until the accident.
Harley felt more like her old self every day.
She took her time washing and conditioning her hair, careful around the still-tender spots on her skull. Stepping slowly from the stall, she dried off and applied lotion over every inch of skin.
Bailey told her each visit, “Just because you live in the desert doesn’t mean ashy skin is okay. It puts the lotion on its skin, Harley…every damn day.”
Pulling on a short robe, she headed for the kitchen. There was a protein shake waiting for her; Joanna always made her one before letting herself out. She took it out on the patio to enjoy the morning sun in a padded deck chair.
When Dex came around the back of the house, she watched him walk toward her. He was beautiful for a man. Tall, exotically handsome, with shaggy black hair and black eyes you could drown in.
He bent down to kiss the top of her head, as he always did, before sitting beside her to stare out over the desert behind the house.
“How are you feeling today, Harley?”
“I’m good, Dex.” She sipped her shake and gave him a grin. “You didn’t have anything better to do than hang with me? You are a pathetic excuse for a pro ball player. Shouldn’t you be out shooting up nightclubs or something?”
He chuckled and the sound sent warmth through her entire body.
Shrugging his broad shoulders, he said seriously, “The clubs closed a few hours ago. I cleaned the guns and figured I’d come visit before the cops show up asking questions.”
Love of the Game - The Complete Collection (Box Set) Page 39
