“Okay …” Maeve dragged the word out. “That’s bad? I’ve never seen you this way.”
“There’s things I can’t tell you. Plus, our being together is really frowned on at work. Not that we’re ‘together’, leastways, not more than physically.”
Maeve’s stare grew intense, seeming to burn a hole in her head.
She blinked finally and exhaled. “You want more, but you’re afraid he doesn’t. Looks like he does to me. He came to the wedding with you, and no guy who just wants a quickie would take the time to do that … or come to the hospital because your new brother-in-law is injured. Maybe if you did something together that doesn’t have a bed, you’d find more between you.”
Maybe. She’d like to think so, but how to say that to Heath?
Maeve fell silent. An hour later, the doctor emerged. “Surgery was successful. However, he’s going to need lots of time to heal. He’s asleep, but if you’d like to see him …”
Joy motioned Maeve to go. Left alone, she couldn’t relax, though, and so paced back and forth in front of the waiting room chairs. Heath’s arrival came as a relief. He curled their fingers together, his hand warm, his strength reassuring.
“You’re not in any trouble for taking off, are you?” she asked. This was twice now he’d left work for her.
He shook his head. “I said a friend was in an accident. I just didn’t mention that it was related to you.”
Strangely enough, disappointment gripped her and, with it, yet more guilt. She scolded herself. She shouldn’t feel this way. He couldn’t admit they were … whatever they were … without causing a stink. Still, the feeling didn’t leave.
“How is he?” Heath asked.
Joy set her thoughts aside. “The doctor saved his leg. He was crushed between two cars.” Horrible.
Heath winced. “And how’s Maeve?”
“Hanging in there.” Joy folded her lip between her teeth, then blurted her next thought. “Do you think …?”
“Is there …?” Heath spoke at the same time. He waved her on. “You first.”
“N-nothing.” Her will to ask vanished. “Just, thanks for being here.”
“Of course.” He bobbed his head. “And I was going to ask if you were okay.”
Was he? Maybe he’d switched his words, too.
That bothered her. Here was a man she really liked, a man who had come here to support her, no questions asked. Yet, as before, this Heath was different from the one who had darkened her door, and as great as the sex had been, she’d give anything to have him trust her with the rest of his life.
She found she couldn’t say that. The atmosphere between them grew awkward.
“We need to work on the video,” she said, for lack of any other subject. “I’ll set up the time and place of recording, today or tomorrow. Perhaps, we can split up making phone calls to finalize our list of couples.”
That had to be done and would be a good start. They’d put it off too long.
“Sounds good.” Heath nodded. “It’s in my office. Maybe you can come by and …” He stopped, seeming to notice how she was dressed. “You didn’t come into work?”
She offered a smile she didn’t entirely feel. “You, mister, have worn me out.”
His lips quirked. “About that list,” he said. “I’m working late. Why don’t you come pick it up?” He leaned in. “The door locks.”
Her heartbeat doubled.
“I don’t think we should.” They definitely shouldn’t. Hadn’t she told herself, moments ago, she wanted something more substantial? She was part of the problem. It wasn’t simply that he continued to ask. She always lacked the strength to say no.
Bending further toward her, he whispered in her ear, the heat of his words seeming to prove it. “Yes, you do. I’ll leave the door open.”
CHAPTER 7
Joy sat with her sister at the hospital until she was sure everything was settled, then made an excuse and left. Probably, Maeve saw through it, especially when she inadvertently admitted she wasn’t going home. Or she was, but only to leave again. She didn’t want to walk in the building looking like she currently did. She didn’t want to look put together either; she was supposed to be sick. Thinking of that, she changed into a simple sleeve dress and strappy sandals, adding a sweater overtop. The January temperatures had turned cold, even for Florida.
She decided, if she got stopped or ran into anyone, she’d tell the truth; she needed to pick up that list of video speakers. She did need to do that. Anything else that would happen while she was there … no one would know.
Knowing that it was for something else made her extremely nervous. Her palms sweating, heart racing, she forced herself to slow across the parking lot and act calm once entering the double doors. She opted to take the stairs, since there was usually less traffic there, and so emerged on Heath’s floor slightly winded. Unfamiliar with the layout, she was a number of minutes searching for his office.
She paused outside, her fingers hovering over the knob. They numbed from the anticipation, and she curled them into a fist. “Just do it, Joy.”
They were already in so deep. What was one more encounter?
She met his gaze across the room. His shirt pulled taut across his chest where a button had worked free. He stood, the gap widening, and she saw, beneath, the firm curve of muscle she already knew so well. She heard, in her head, their joined breaths, felt in the growing tension, his movements inside her.
He approached and reached past her, twisting the lock. Then, grasping the back of her head, forceful, he tugged it backward, his mouth claiming hers. Her will to resist him crumbled.
She was a leaf, tossed on the wind, bendable to whatever it lay up against, and he was the ocean, sweeping in to carry her away on the tide. She couldn’t stop him from doing what he wanted nor had the will. He asked, and she gave. High on greed and unsatisfied with it, she cried out her ecstasy, the sound swallowed between his lips.
The things on his desk scattered on the floor, her bottom sticking to its polished surface. He consumed her and surrounded her. There, sealed together, woozy, in that half-awakened state that always followed, unwilling for the sting to end, they held in place.
“Heath …” she mumbled, her tongue thick.
His captured it, and her words melted, unspoken.
“I’ll come to your place tomorrow. We’ll go over the video. I promise,” Heath said. “You go on, and I’ll clean up this mess.”
Joy gazed around the room, where his inbox, the stapler, and a sea of pens left a telling trail. As did the crumpled paper in the center of the desk, shaped like her bottom. His guilt for acting out this fantasy mixed with a kick of testosterone that continued to relive it.
She smoothed her skirt for the umpteenth time, giving him one last glance before she fled.
That was the only way he could describe it. Seemed like she’d crept in, uncertain, and ran away, wanting to be free. Was he, by not reining himself in, ruining the best thing he’d ever had? He’d known if he could arouse her enough she wouldn’t refuse, had known how to make it mind-bending and worth her time.
There should be more than that, though. Conversation. And, in that, he should tell her what happened with Kyle. He’d hinted at it without sharing details, but that moment was key to who he was today.
Heath bent down, picking up what’d fallen, yet was unable to put things back as they were. Unable to sit here ever again and not see her atop it. He studied the wrinkled page, tearing it in half and dropping it in the trash, then fell into his seat, eye level with the desktop.
He had to talk about Kyle and, further than that, should share how it’d fueled his self-doubt. She deserved to know because she was valuable to him. She’d shared a piece of herself. In her time of need, she’d called him. Him. That hadn’t been about sex, and between her text and arriving at the hospital, he’d worried that she was okay, worried about Maeve and Grady, too. Those feelings had meaning.
So do something
that doesn’t involve sex. A voice in his head spoke, and he contemplated it, exhaling. He’d sleep on it and see what idea came up.
Meanwhile, he had to make yet another excuse to his brother for his absence. Kyle had grilled him more than once on his “girlfriend”, but he’d brushed it off. In light of tonight, however, he needed to face his behavior and look closely into the eyes of the man he’d become.
Something had to change, or the next time, Joy would bolt. That thought crushed him. She was so much more important to him than simply a warm body to hold. He had to tell her somehow.
Heath locked up and headed downstairs. In the lobby, his eyes on the exit doors, he came to a shuddering halt. Joy? Joy and Natalie Saccardo in a serious conversation.
Shifting from one foot to the other, Joy looked nervous, disheveled, and very unhappy. Retreating, Heath tucked out of view and released a long breath. The last thing they needed was to be caught here together.
He listened for their voices to fade, but from this distance couldn’t tell if they had or not.
His phone buzzed. Joy. Worried, he didn’t answer it. Was this a break up note? Maybe she couldn’t do this anymore. Hadn’t he told himself it would happen?
Shaking, he stuck his phone in his pocket, unread, and made his way through the empty lobby to his car. In the driver’s seat, he forced himself to open the message.
Call me.
Why? Because she was angry? Depressed?
Whatever it was, he shouldn’t limit this to a phone call. She deserved so much better. He tossed his phone into the cup holder and aimed for the nearest supermarket. He dashed in for a low-end bouquet of roses, then turned his wheels toward her place.
In her driveway, growing tense, he clenched the flowers, tight, in his hand. He paused at the front door, his stomach tossing, and knocked, sweat forming on his brow.
The lock clicked, and the knob turned.
“Before you speak,” Heath said. He extended the flowers. “These are for you.”
Joy stared at them, hesitant, and he stretched his arm out further. “Please?”
Unspeaking, she grabbed hold and clutched them to her chest.
“You are a beautiful, wonderful, valuable woman,” he said. “What we have … what we’ve done … I want more than that. I know it’s not allowed.” He waved one hand. “Whatever. My job, my boss, will not dictate to me how I feel about somebody.”
“How you feel?” Her voice rose, incredulous.
He nodded, sharp. “I shouldn’t have asked you to … to come up there. It was wrong … and on that note, you’re good at your job, and if anybody should leave so that we could be together, it should be me … and by ‘together’ I mean, talking, going places …”
“I quit.”
He started. “You … you quit?”
Sadness formed in her eyes. “Natalie stopped me in the lobby. She said security footage crossed her desk of me and a man they couldn’t recognize being … amorous … her word … in the elevator. It seems his head was out of view.”
“Joy, I …”
She waved him silent. “She asked me who it was, and I said it wasn’t her business. She asked if it was you. I said I hadn’t seen you in several days, and I thought the banquet would be better done by someone else. When she threatened my job if I tried to drop out, I quit.”
“You can’t.”
“Go home, Heath,” Joy said. “Your brother needs you.”
“My brother?”
She didn’t give him a chance to find out what she meant, but reversed and shut the door. The sound of the lock shot down to his toes, and with it, every minute he’d spent with her shrunk to a single thought – selfishness. When in any of this had he given much thought to her? He’d used her to satisfy his ego, and now he had what?
He held out his hands. Nothing.
Depression swirled around Heath’s head, dragging him downward, his hands and feet like lead. His brother’s sarcastic expression didn’t help.
Lips pursed, Kyle rolled his eyes and snorted. “If you’d asked me, I would have told you whoever she is, it wouldn’t last.”
Heath’s already low mood sank further. “For the last time, I didn’t ask you.”
“Well, you should have. No woman is worth that much devotion.”
“You’re wrong.” He was wrong, so very wrong. Joy was worth way more devotion than he’d given her.
“You’ve seen her how many times in the last week?”
Heath glared at him. “That’s none of your business.” Rising from the couch, he made to pass his brother and head down the hall, but Kyle grabbed hold of his sleeve.
“If I’d known you were in such a bad mood all the time, I might have stayed with Mom. She smothered me, but you … you make me wish I was at the bottom of that pond.”
Heath froze, coldness washing down his frame. “Don’t you ever say that. Mom cried over you. She thought you were dead, and I’ve tormented myself, wondering …”
“If you’re just like me,” his brother said.
Heath hushed.
“Yeah, I see it. You might be just as stupid as your little brother, Kyle, and get hung up on a woman so badly you’d rather die than turn her loose.”
Heath reversed, tripping over the rug. His back hit the wall, the surface shuddering. He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again, nothing said.
Would he? Wasn’t he just as upset over Joy?
Heath shook his head. No. They’d made no promises to each other. Therefore, there was nothing to break. Why, then, did tonight hurt so badly?
He swallowed on a dry throat and, pulling himself upright, made his way into the kitchen. He could stand a Scotch, but lacking that, Heath settled for coffee. Unspeaking, he stared at the machine, its grinding noises somehow matching his mood.
The black liquid shimmering in his mug, after, he chugged it, burning his tongue. His brother approached and he stiffened.
“Do you love her?”
Heath risked a glance behind. “I don’t know. We haven’t talked.”
Kyle’s eyebrows lifted, his forehead forming tiny lines.
“We haven’t talked much,” he corrected. “We were supposed to work on a fundraiser at work … set up this Valentine’s banquet. Ironic, since that’s what brought us together, except by ‘together’ I mean crazy mind-blowing sex and not much else. Worst part is, it cost her job, and she’s really good at it. She writes the most amazing, poetic card sentiments. I feel like a heel; I’m sure, she feels undervalued; and now I have to go back to work knowing she won’t be there and my boss, though she can’t prove it, knows why.”
“It wasn’t all bad,” his brother replied.
For a second, Heath didn’t know what he meant.
“We had plenty of good times for the first few years,” Kyle continued, “then I was promoted and started working all the time. Up early, in late, you know the drill. She felt neglected, and her boss …” Kyle shrugged. “He was rich and kind and all the things I wasn’t. That’s as much why I did what I did. I couldn’t be him.”
“Be yourself,” Heath replied. “Learn from your mistakes and do differently.”
His brother’s gaze changed. “Sounds like you need to take your own advice.”
Learn from his mistakes and do differently. But how, exactly, did he go about it? And was it possible to “fix” the mess he’d made with Joy? Maybe not, but he could come clean at work, maybe get her job back.
His mind made up, the next morning, Heath aimed directly for Natalie’s office. He knocked on the door frame. “If I could have a minute …?” he asked.
She motioned him in with one hand.
He sat, uncomfortably, facing her desk. “It’s about Joy. The man she was with in the elevator was me.”
Natalie tilted her head, her grip on her ballpoint pen loosening. Several seconds passed, and she leaned back.
“We met outside of work entirely by accident. I didn’t know her and she didn’t know me, but
we really hit it off. That’s why when you asked me to set up the event with her I refused.”
“You changed your mind.”
“She changed my mind. She didn’t want to lose her job, and I didn’t want to be the one to cause it. But I guess … we couldn’t do things effectively without …” He let the thought sit there. “I know she quit last night. I’m willing to resign if you’ll reconsider her job.”
An odd expression crisscrossed Natalie’s face. Her brow drawn, she chewed on the inside of her lip. “I don’t know where you got the idea she quit.”
Heath startled. “She said you asked about the footage in the elevator, and she refused to tell you who it was.”
“I asked, yes, but she said it was over, so I trusted her. She’s our best designer, and I can’t afford to lose her right now. She did say she needed time off, that there’d been a family emergency. She said you had the banquet under control. Given your remarks … Is there a problem with the banquet?”
“No, ma’am. It’s on schedule.”
“Good.”
Heath pressed forward. She had to understand. “I can’t not see her,” he said. “She’s important to me, and if that means I need to resign, then so be it.” This job wasn’t as valuable as the state of his heart. Too bad it’d taken him this long to realize it. This was the woman he wanted, that he needed, and she was worth the sacrifice.
Natalie inhaled and spoke, her voice crisp. “I made it clear that office relationships were discouraged, and this is a prime example why. It causes trouble between departments. As much as I admire your courage, the pair of you being together is strictly against company policy.” She paused. “However, losing you both over it is not good for where we want this business to go.”
He started. “Ma’am?”
Natalie smiled. “We need her, and we need you. There’s a reason you were picked over all the other applicants. No one else had the qualifications or the drive you did. But … I’m going to ask you both to keep all the personal stuff off company time. Will that be a problem?”
Sentimental Valentine Page 7
