by Kaci Hart
She could tell by the look on his face that he would be open to the invitation, but that was the last thing she wanted to do right then. She was tired and wasn’t sure she wanted to take the time to introduce her baby to her old high school flame. It wasn’t that easy at all.
“I would invite you in but I’m really tired. Had a long day at work today.”
His smile waned when he recognized that she was brushing him off. She was telling the truth though. She didn’t even have the energy to cook up a better story.
“No problem. It was kind of assumptive of me to just show up here unannounced tonight. I was thinking that maybe we can meet for lunch one day, catch up on old times.”
“I don’t know Aaron. To be honest with you, I’m just trying to get my feet under me now that I’m back. I don’t think that’s the best idea right now.”
“I understand. Well I guess I’ll just see you around then. It was really nice seeing you Emily.”
“You too Aaron. Bye.”
“Um, yeah bye.”
She closed the door and stood, staring at the back of the door for a moment, then slid over to peep out the window as she watched him walk back to his truck. She knew Aaron and could tell by the look on his face that he had hopes popping up at her home that night. Was it still that he still had feelings for her? It didn’t matter. Even for a guy as good as him, it was one thing to be sweethearts, but there was no way he would want anything to do with her when he found out she had a baby. There was no doubt in her mind that he would lose any feeling he had for her the moment he found out about Ashleigh. She walked back into the living room to find her mother’s gaze settled on her.
“Honey, why didn’t you invite him in?”
“I don’t know mom. I just don’t think it really makes sense. He was my past and I don’t have time for the past anymore.”
“Even so sweetie, it doesn’t mean you can’t have friends does it?”
“Maybe, but you didn’t see the look in his eyes. He looked like he was in love. That was the same way he used to look at me years ago before he left for the marines. I can’t imagine how he will look at me now.”
“All that because of a baby? Emily I’m not sure how you got so cynical when you were at school but you really need to give people more credit.”
“Mom, really. This is getting dangerously close to one of the lectures that you promised me you wouldn’t have with me if I moved back in.”
“Okay, okay. I won’t say another thing about it. Just be open minded Emily.”
“I will mom.”
As far as she was concerned there was absolutely nothing to be open minded about. Emily knew her mother meant good but life wasn’t as black and white as her mother saw it. No matter how much she found herself wishing things were different she would always be honest with herself. Ultimately, Aaron wasn’t in the future that she saw for herself and her daughter.
***
Aaron was taken aback. It was one thing to not invite him in, but it was something totally different to not even want to spend any time around him. He had told her he understood but the truth was that she was making no sense to him at all. Ever since she stopped talking to him all those years ago, he had always wondered why. They were always great for each other and everyone in town thought that they were a lock to get married for sure. Looking back, so did they. They talked about marriage so often before he left that he just expected she would return after school and starting a family would be the next step in their relationship. When she’d told him that she felt like they had grown apart, he was overseas and had no way to rush to her and do everything in his power to change her mind. Heaven knows he would have tried. He even talked to her father about it, trying to get in touch with her somehow. They were loyal parents though and respected her wishes. She had moved on and he had to as well.
That was a reality that he had forced himself to deal with, but hearing that she was back, he thought that there was at least a chance. He hadn’t dated anyone since he had been back. He’d focused on other things and didn’t find the time in life for a relationship unless he thought it could go all the way to marriage. He hadn’t met a woman since Emily that had that effect on him. As he thought of it, he realized that he had met quite a few good women in the past few years, but none of them compared to her. He had never gotten over her, and after seeing her that night, he knew his feelings for her were even stronger. She was still in every way the same woman who he had once wanted to be his wife and time had not dulled that one bit.
Chapter 3
Emily was always ecstatic whenever the fair rolled in to town but she didn’t remember why until she looked down at Ashleigh who was having the time of her little life. She was enjoying cotton candy--getting the blue and pink material in her hair. Emily sighed, thinking how much of a chore it was going to be that night trying to clean her hair up. Still she was happy that she and Liz had decided to attend. She looked up at the clear, starry sky. Something she didn’t get a chance to see so much when she was in school. She had almost forgotten what it was like to just star gaze.
“So Emily, have you gotten used to being back yet?”
Her sister asked her as they stopped to watch Ashleigh enjoy her sugary treat.
“You know, it’s like I never even left. Besides the obvious addition, it’s the same warm place that it has always been.”
“I know what you mean.”
Her sister nodded to the figure approaching them and waved. She spoke to Aaron as he approached her and Emily.
“I see some things don’t change at all. Hi Aaron.”
Startled, Emily looked up to see that Aaron was indeed walking in their direction--wearing that same adorable smile.
Why am I being tortured like this?
Having made up her mind that they had no future together, the constant meeting was not going to be something she would enjoy having on a regular basis.
“Liz, Emily. How are you ladies tonight?”
“We’re fine. But what are you doing here? If I remember correctly, you didn’t like coming to these money stealing trap games unless you were gonna win me a stuffed animal.”
“Still feel the same. I remembered you to be a total creature of habit. No matter how long you have been away, you could never deny yourself some good old fair food. Nothing like a powdered sugar and cinnamon covered elephant ear for you. Lucky for me that some things never change.”
Liz chimed in.
“Didn’t I just tell you that Emily? Some things don’t change whatsoever.”
“Yes you did, sis.” Emily responded, slightly annoyed at her sister who was giving her a silent look that said that she had better talk to him.
“What’s more, I’m still the best ring tosser you’ll ever find. Are you in need of a new stuffed cow?”
“Oooh, that sounds nice but I don’t really keep stuffed animals anymore.”
Just then Aaron looked down and noticed the little girl that had walked over from Emily. She had begun to color his pants in the very decorative blues and pinks of cotton candy.
“Oh no, sweetie, don’t do that.”
Liz grabbed her.
“Emily, I’m going to go get her hands cleaned up. I’ll be right back.”
“Let me take care of it Liz.”
“No, you stay here and catch up. C’mon Ashleigh.”
Thanks! Catch a hint please.
She directed her attention to Aaron’s now pastel colored pant leg.
“I’m so sorry about that. She’s just a really friendly child. I’m trying to teach her to be more careful, but you know how kids are.”
“Definitely. Don’t worry about it. She was cute as all can be. So you guys have family in town?”
Emily didn’t know what to say. She had almost forgotten that she hadn’t told too many people about Ashleigh, and certainly not Aaron. No point in lying about it then.
“You could say that. More like permanent family. Her name is Ashleigh and she is...
my daughter.”
She watched as confusion filled his face.
“Your daughter? As in a baby that you gave birth to?”
That was why she didn’t want to tell him or anyone. She could see him judging her.
“Of course! How else do people have babies? That stork stuff is not true you know.”
“But you’re not supposed to have a baby.”
“Yeah, well a lot of things happened that weren’t supposed to. Regardless, you have no right to judge me. I am completely happy with my life and my daughter and I wouldn’t change it for anyone or anything in the world. And I didn’t ask for your approval, or anyone else’s for that matter.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well I don’t need your apologies either. I have to go. Excuse me.”
She stormed off, leaving him standing in the middle of the fair with cotton candy pants and the most dumbfounded look ever on his face. He hadn’t meant to upset her but then again, how could he possibly be prepared to hear that the woman he had loved to no end had gone and had a baby for another man. He didn’t even chase after her. He couldn’t. He had to at least process the things he’d just learned.
***
Emily sat at the table while her mother prepared Saturday morning breakfast for everyone. She was still thinking about the previous night. She was still furious that he had looked at her like that--like she had committed a crime. If it had been anyone else, it would not have mattered to her as much. But Aaron was supposed to be different. Deep down that was what she had hoped but he’d proven her wrong only hours ago.
“Emily? Honey are you listening to anything that you mother and I are saying to you?”
“I’m sorry. I heard you but my mind was preoccupied. What were you saying again?”
“We were saying that it’s high time that this little girl gets dedicated to the Lord.”
“I don’t know. I mean I know you guys are really deep into your religion and what you believe but I don’t know if I feel the same way anymore. And even if I did, I don’t know if I can commit to something like that. I know you guys won’t understand this but I made some pretty bad choices when I was at school. I’m not the same little girl that I was when I left. Truth is I don’t know if I even want to go into that building and have all those people criticizing me. I used to be all into missions and holier than thou, and now here I come. Single, never married mother bringing in my child for dedication. When they don’t see a father, I know what they will be thinking and I don’t see any reason to do that to myself. ”
“Oh honey, your father and I know that you aren’t a child anymore. You have grown up a lot and anyone can see that you are a woman now. And a mother. You don’t have to be perfect to dedicate a baby to God. In fact, you could never be. We would all be with you. Your father, me and your sister. Altogether, just saying we are going to do our best. Nothing more.”
“I hear you mom. I just don’t know. Besides, isn’t she too old for that anyway? I thought it was only babies that got dedicated.”
“Now that is nonsense. Any time a parent wants to do that, it can be done.”
“Alright. I will think about it, but no promises.”
Her father spoke up.
“Of course Emily. Now on a different note. What is going on with you and Aaron?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well when he was here last week, your mother told me that you ran him off. I know you two aren’t together anymore but that seemed a bit harsh. Did something happen?”
“No dad. Not then. But when Liz and I took Ashleigh to the fair, he was there and when he found out that she was my child, I can’t explain to you in words the look he gave me. There is no way that he sees me the same anymore.”
“Did he say anything?”
“Well no but…”
“But what Emily? It sounds like you’re deciding for him. Everyone isn’t going to love you or even like you, that is true, but you can’t make the decision for them. If you are just assuming what people feel, that’s not fair. If you don’t want to talk to him, that’s ok too but don’t let it be because of what you think he might have wanted to say. He’s grown up to be a pretty good young man. He might surprise you.”
“Yeah, or he might act just like I expect.”
“There is that too. All I am saying is you don’t really know, and if you keep thinking that way you’ll never give anyone a chance. No matter what you think honey, you are never too far gone unless you believe that you are.”
Her parents always had a way of putting things in perspective.
She got up from the table, and planted a kiss on both of her parent’s cheeks before doing the same to Ashleigh--admonishing her to behave until she returned from work that night.
Chapter 4
Aaron parked his car in the general parking area of the small hospital and walked inside. When he stopped by her house earlier in the day, her parents told him that she was at work. So there he was at the hospital to talk to her about the other night. When he walked inside and asked for her to be paged, she hurried from the back and immediately turned to go back into the restricted area when she realized it was him.
“Wait Emily, don’t go. I just want to talk to you for a minute.”
“I don’t really have anything that I want to talk to you about Aaron. Especially when I know you will probably just look at me like I have the plague again.”
There it was. He hadn’t meant to hurt her the other night, but he was caught completely off guard.
“C’mon Em, I just need a minute or two of your time.”
He had called her the nickname that he had used for her since the day that they had first started seriously courting each other. Until he had broken up with her. When she stared into his eyes, she could tell that he hadn’t meant to hurt her. She knew who he was and if she was being honest, she knew it the other night. She was just looking for a reason to avoid interacting with him because she really did still enjoy his brand of care for her and would rather not experience that again than to have him reject her because of her child. She thought it might be pretty nice to talk to him after all but she really was pressed for time.
“Aaron, it’s just not a good time right now. You have to go. I just started here a few weeks back, you have to know that. I can’t goof off with you right now because I need to make a good impression.”
“Then I will wait here until you have a minute or two.”
Still persistent as ever, aren’t you Aaron?
“That’s just it. I won’t have time at all. We’re really backed up in here and the only way you are going to get more than a minute of my time today is if you are injured. Now I have to go. I’m sorry.”
She walked back into the restricted area and back to work. Fifteen minutes later she returned to the lobby at the call of the desk staff, to find him sitting there. She walked over to the staffer and pulled his chart. She looked at him incredulously.
“Really Aaron! A stomach ache? Couldn’t you at least be a little more creative? I am going to have you discharged right now.”
“Then I’ll just come back until you see me. Maybe a scratch next time. Roll around in some poison ivy.”
Emily looked at him and smiled. She knew it was true.
“I don’t really know if a minute or two of my time is worth poison ivy. Anyway, you are beyond incorrigible. I tell you what. It seems that there is no way you are gonna leave unless I give in. How about you promise me that you will stay away from the poison ivy if I meet you after work. I can do dinner at Martin’s, your treat of course.”
He paused as if contemplating and for a second. She thought he was really trying to decide if it was worth it, until he nodded in agreement and beamed at her.
“Lady you have yourself a deal, but if you bail on me I promise I will find a patch of poison ivy and roll around in it first thing tomorrow. The good, itchy kind too!”
“Oh, then I a
m off the hook. I don’t work tomorrow! Should have quit when you were ahead…” She playfully pushed his shoulder “You know I will be there. I get off at seven thirty. I’ll just need to stop by the house and get freshened up and let my parents know that I’ll be out tonight. Something tells me that they will be more than fine watching Ashleigh when I tell them.”
Aaron laughed, knowing that he had gotten off easily. He doubted that there was a price that would have been more than he would have been willing to pay. He just wanted the chance to talk to her. He’d finally gotten his opportunity to let her know just why she was still supposed to be with him.
