by Nana Prah
Even to her own ears, her voice sounded detached.
His large hands touched her shoulders, reminding her of the last time they’d been together. The nearness of his body overwhelmed her and she stepped away before she gave in to the urge to lean back into his strong arms and melt into him.
“Why didn’t you call me after you broke up with him?”
She turned to face him and caught her breath. His model-like good looks never failed to set her off balance. “My betrayal and the guilt over what we shared crushed me under their weight. For months, I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror.” She wrapped her arms around herself.
With an unsteady gait, she walked back to sit on the couch. Her weak legs wouldn’t have been able to hold her up for much longer.
“We didn’t do anything to be ashamed about. There should have been no guilt.”
Her silence spoke volumes. He wouldn’t be able to convince her that what they shared could never be considered wrong.
“I think I’d better go. I’m sorry to have intruded.”
Curiosity had burned within her since she first saw him on her porch. “How did you find my apartment?”
“Your cousin Esi showed me.”
“Esi?”
She’d beat her meddling cousin senseless when she saw her that evening. “I’ll show you to the door.”
She didn’t want him to leave. For a split second, she tried to force time to move backward so she could correct all of the mistakes she’d made with him, but she could no more control time than she could fly. What they’d shared had to stay in the past.
When they reached the door, he turned to her. “Can I hug you?”
Against her better judgement, but in accord with her heart and body, she agreed and walked into his arms.
She wound her arms around his shoulders and hugged him as if they’d never see each other again. He cradled her to his body and her head swam with the smell and feel of him against her. He rubbed her back and she leaned into him with contentment.
Moving away a little, he peered into her eyes. She gathered all of her energy to loosen her arms from around him. In a flash, his lips touched hers in an electric kiss. Their soft fullness glided over hers and when she kissed him back without hesitation, he moaned, sending a rush of heat through her.
Reality crashed in and she pulled away.
He rubbed the back of his fingers under her chin. “I’ve been waiting to do that for three years. Have a good night.”
“Good night,” she replied, closed the door, and touched her burning lips. “Shit.”
Chapter Four
Someone would have to slap the grin off of his face because he couldn’t get rid of it. He hadn’t been this happy since he’d first met her all those years ago.
Their talk had gone better than expected, yesterday. She’d answered his questions instead of shutting him out, and he had no doubt she told him the truth. The conversation didn’t cancel out the deep loneliness which had become a permanent part of him, but now, he had a sense of optimism about having a second chance with her, even if he’d neglected to tell her of his plan to woo her.
He shook his head in wonder at what the woman had brought him to. He wanted to communicate, about feelings, no less. She’d hooked him, but then again he knew that three years ago. She was special and he’d never let her go again.
He waited until the end of the day to see her, so as not to back her into a corner, which would force her to fight her way out. She needed space and time to process what had happened between them yesterday.
While he talked with the nurses in the emergency department, she came out of the changing room. He waved before she had the opportunity to go back in and avoid him.
Her neutral expression held no revelation about her thoughts as she strode toward him. “Good afternoon,” she said.
“Good afternoon. Can I walk you out?” All of a sudden, he’d become a teenager talking to the prettiest girl in the school. The jumping frogs in his stomach refused to settle down.
She’d returned his kiss yesterday. The memory of her sweet, floral perfume compounded with the softness of her body flush against his, calmed his stomach but stirred a lower part of his anatomy.
She glanced toward the nurses sitting at the desk, observing them with avid interest, not even trying to pretend to be working. “Sure.”
“Would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow evening?” he asked once they were outside the Emergency Department’s doors and away from prying ears.
Her gaze focused on the activities of vendors across the street. “I’m working tomorrow evening.”
“Oh.” He tried not to let his disappointment seep into the word. “Well, then how about Sunday for lunch?”
“Umm. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She wasn’t making this easy on him, but he refused to be deterred. There would be no rejection from her a second time around. “Why not?”
She shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest.
“I’d like to catch up. It’s been a long time. It would be nice to find out what’s been going on with you.” He took a risk by opening himself up. She’d appreciate the honesty because of her own nature.
She said nothing.
“I thought we’d developed a friendship in South Africa.” The statement would get to her. Even though they’d known each other for a few days, they’d gotten close and had become real friends.
“We did.”
Her vehement response made him smile. “Well, then can’t two old friends have lunch together?”
Ora bit her bottom lip while she thought. The action brought to mind their kiss and he looked up at the sky instead of leaning forward to taste the sweetness of her lips.
“Okay,” she said.
He’d won a major battle. “I’ll pick you up at twelve-thirty from your house, okay?”
“That’s fine.”
“I have some patients to review before I go, so I’ll leave you here. I’ll see you on Sunday.”
Grabbing and kissing her until they were both dizzy wouldn’t help his cause, so he turned around and walked back into the hospital instead.
***
Ora couldn’t ever remember being this jittery. Half a dozen times during the evening, she’d picked up the phone to share the news about Jason’s unexpected invitation with Esi, but she never called.
How did she feel about this new liaison with him? At any given moment, she fluctuated. On the one hand, excited. She remembered him as a good man and enjoyed being around him.
On the other hand, fear paralyzed her. She didn’t know what she feared. The man himself didn’t scare her in the least, but the concept of love and rehashing a relationship that she herself had taken a butcher knife to and mutilated, terrified her.
In the midst of waffling between these two emotions and creating unnecessary wrinkles in her face, she heard the key in the front door and ran over to it. “You won’t believe what happened!”
Esi stumbled back when Ora appeared in her face. “You won the lottery.” Esi droned. “And good evening to you, too.”
Ora’s sigh lifted her shoulders, as she ignored her cousin’s greeting. “Why would you say that? You know I don’t play the lottery.”
“It could happen. Tell me.”
“Jason asked me to go to lunch with him on Sunday.”
“Let me guess, you told him no.” True to habit, Esi headed to her room to put her bag away.
Ora hesitated for a second. Her initial intention had been to tell him it would be better if they didn’t see each other again, but when he pulled out the friendship card, she couldn’t say no. The depth of their friendship had been what she’d missed most about being away from him. “Well, at first I did, but then he convinced me to go.”
“He must have quite the power of persuasion.”
She crinkled her brow. “What does that mean?”
Esi turned around to look into her eyes. “It’s no secr
et you’re one of the most obstinate people God has ever created.” She raised a hand to stop Ora from commenting. “Once you make up your mind about something, not even the staff of Moses can make you change it. That means when you first said no, you didn’t mean it, so it didn’t take much for him to convince you to change your mind. What did you make for dinner?”
The change in subject didn’t surprise her, but she became indignant about what her cousin had just said. “Rice with kontomire stew.” The green leafy vegetable stew with fish was Esi’s favourite food. “I did mean it when I said no.”
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Esi walked into the kitchen with Ora hot on her heels. “I’m so hungry. The labouring women wouldn’t stop coming in. We must have caught seven babies. They were all vaginal so none of us had to set foot inside the theatre for a Caesarean. I didn’t even have a second to eat a snack.”
“You love the catch. It gives you an adrenaline rush. I don’t understand how you do it. Delivering babies causes me an undue amount of stress. I love the newborns, with their cute little hands and feet, just not the birthing aspect.” Ora shivered, thinking about all the pain a woman had to undergo to bring a baby into the world.
“Working in the emergency room would drive me insane. Too much trauma and death for me.”
“And there’s no death in the labour ward?”
Esi pointed her index finger in the air and waved it from side to side. “Not on my watch, sister. Not. On. My. Watch.”
Ora laughed. “I forgot that you’re Super Midwife. Where’s your cape?”
“Left it at the hospital. Not a single maternal or foetal death to my name. I’m all about life.”
“On behalf of all your safe and alive mothers and babies, I say thank you.”
“As one of the best midwives in the world, I say you’re welcome.” Esi bowed at the waist, making Ora laugh.
“Now that we’ve blown up your ego so that you can no longer walk through a door, let’s get back to me. I did mean it when I told him no.”
Esi tilted her head and shrugged. “If you say so. You two really got along in South Africa. Why did you cut off all contact when you came home? You’ve told me the story before, but I never quite understood it.”
Ora watched her cousin dish herself a plate of food and let her sit down to eat before delving into the past. She made sure to include all of the details she’d left out when she’d told it before.
“I don’t understand. Why couldn’t you dump your fiancé to be with Jason? You were in love with him. Doesn’t love conquer all according to your beloved romance novels?”
“That’s fiction. Real life is different.”
“I may not love your genre of books, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that love conquers all. Even to me, it sounds super optimistic and surreal, but it’s the truth.”
“Not in my case.”
“That’s because you’re one stubborn lady and you were wrong. What are you going to do about him now? You’re free and so is he. He’s not married, right?” Esi took her empty plate to the sink and washed it.
“We haven’t discussed his status and I’m not going to do anything.” Ora sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. She hadn’t told Esi about the kiss they’d shared a couple nights ago.
It had been the most perfect first kiss that had ever existed in the history of kisses. When she’d seen Jason this afternoon, she could have sworn her face burned when she remembered the feel of his lips on hers.
“The love of your life has moved to Ghana to win your heart, and you aren’t going to do anything about it?” She placed her damp hand on Ora’s forehead to feel her temperature. “Are you sick?”
Ora pushed her hand away and wiped her forehead. “I’m not sick. He’s a doctor.”
“And?”
“I don’t date doctors, remember?”
Esi rolled her eyes. “I remember. You think they’re all players who use women.” Her tone rang monotonous, as if she’d heard Ora repeat the phrase a thousand times. “That’s right. You remember what Dr. Miller said once? ‘Student nurses are incentives.’”
Esi laughed. “Dr. Miller’s an ass. You can’t lump all doctors into the same category. There are some good ones out there. Look at Dr. Yeboah who’s been married to the same woman for twenty-eight years and you never hear about him being a flirt.”
“Yeah, but he’s the exception. I can’t believe that you, who’s been cheated on by a doctor, is advocating me dating one.”
“Mine was an extenuating circumstance. I knew Omar—” Esi pretended to spit “—was a player before I went in. I thought I could change him. Lesson learned. You can’t change people.” She rotated her shoulders back as if rolling off the experience. “I want you to date Jason, not just any doctor. Why don’t you give him a chance?”
“To cheat on me? No way.”
“This isn’t about doctors. It’s about men in general, isn’t it?”
Ora looked away from her probing eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“How’s your father?”
Ora stiffened at the sudden change in topic. “I spoke to him yesterday and he says he’s good. As always, he kept asking me when I’d be coming home.”
“No, not your stepfather, your biological one.”
Her heart twisted. What the hell was Esi playing at? The good for nothing man had never been a part of her life. For her first five years, she hadn’t laid an eye on him. When she asked her mother if he existed, she’d smiled and told her he’d come to see her one day.
So everyday she’d waited.
One day, her mother said her father would be coming for a visit. Ora had been so excited, she ran to peep out the gate at least ten times. At his arrival, she made sure to be on her best behaviour so he’d never go away. He’d spent a few hours watching a football match, but she didn’t mind. Her daddy liked football so now she would, too. He left after a few hours, promising to return the next day.
The next day turned out to be two years later.
But once again, her love for him overshadowed all of the time she’d spent without him. He took her to his hometown where she spent two days getting her cheeks pinched by unknown family members and being paraded around as his daughter. By then, her two front teeth had fallen out, but she couldn’t stop smiling.
When he dropped her off at home, he told her he’d be back the next day. She wanted to be a brave girl for him so she bit her trembling lip as she waved goodbye.
She waited. A year went by. He passed by the house on his way to a funeral. Her eight-year-old self had been so happy to see him she’d forgotten about the angst she’d felt about him not returning. After thirty minutes of asking her about school and sitting in an uncomfortable silence, he headed for the door.
“Don’t go, Daddy.” Her eyes filled with tears as she clutched onto his waist. Other than a hand shake, she’d never touched him before, but she had to make him stay this time. She needed her father.
Ignoring her tears, he pried her hands off of him. Her loud pleading brought her mother into the room. Ora fought when she restrained her. Her father told her he’d be back tomorrow before slipping through the door.
She’d never wait for him to come back again. She learned to not care that he didn’t love her. She hadn’t been good enough to make him stay.
Ora pushed the painful memories away. The incident happened a long time ago and she’d recovered well.
“You know he’s like the wind, coming and going as he pleases,” she said.
“When did you last see him?”
She shrugged. It didn’t matter. When they met, they were strangers. She no longer considered him to be her father. She’d gotten over his repeated rejections and now she had a stepdad who showered her with love so she didn’t need him. “I don’t know and it doesn’t matter.”
Ora walked out of the kitchen into the hall where she turned on the televisi
on.
Esi followed. “I think it does matter. You haven’t dealt with him leaving you, and it’s affecting your relationships. You have commitment issues, Ora. You must deal with them or they’ll deal with you.”
Listening to another of Esi’s lectures about her fear of commitment didn’t happen to be on her to-do list. Not in the mood for it. She’d intended to share the news of her date with Jason, and now she’d have to endure being psychoanalyzed. Something she could do without.
“You can’t get away from me that easily. Now that I’m good and full, I have energy. You know how tenacious I can be. Shall we review your dating history?” Esi didn’t wait for her to answer the rhetorical question. “You choose men who are stable and boring. Men you never give your heart to. When they realize you don’t love them, they leave you so they can find someone who cares for them. This continues the cycle of your mistrust in men thinking they’re going to leave you, like your father. Have you ever been in love?”
She clenched her jaw. She had no desire to engage with Esi, but she could answer that question with all honesty. “Yes.”
“With whom?”
Ora hesitated because giving the answer would confirm all of what Esi had said. She could lie and say her ex-fiancé since she’d been engaged to him. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. “Jason.”
“I have nothing more to say on the subject. You’re a big girl. You know how to make decisions and live with the consequences. If you want my advice—” Esi rushed on as Ora opened her mouth to say she didn’t—“give him a chance.”
Chapter Five
“This place is gorgeous,” Ora whispered so the other restaurant patrons wouldn’t know she’d never been to someplace as posh as where Jason had brought her for lunch.
The tinted glass ceiling enthralled her. She couldn’t stop looking up at the fluffy clouds passing by without the glare of the sun streaming in.
“One of my cousins brought me here a few weeks ago. The food is excellent.”
The minutes ticked by as they sat in an uncomfortable silence that Ora couldn’t remember them ever experiencing. She racked her brain for something to talk about and remembered something she’d wanted to know when they’d met in South Africa, but never got around to asking.
