‘You can see — I am digging myself a grave.’
‘Why are you doing so?’
‘Because I don’t want to live any longer.’
The money - lender fairly threw up his hands in amazement. ‘You don’t want to live?’
Misha glanced menacingly at the money - lender. ‘That surprises you? Aren’t you the cause of it all? … You? … You? … Wasn’t it you, Judas, who robbed me, taking advantage of my childishness? Aren’t you flaying the peasants’ skins off their backs? Haven’t you taken from this poor old man his crust of dry bread? Wasn’t it you? … O God! everywhere nothing but injustice, and oppression, and evil - doing…. Everything must go to ruin then, and me too! I don’t care for life, I don’t care for life in Russia!’ And the spade moved faster than ever in Misha’s hands.
‘Here’s a devil of a business!’ thought the money - lender; ‘he’s positively burying himself alive.’ ‘Mihail Andreevitch,’ he began again: ‘listen. I’ve been behaving badly to you, indeed; they told me falsely of you.’
Misha went on digging.
‘But why be desperate?’
Misha still went on digging, and kept throwing the earth at the money - lender’s feet, as though to say, ‘Here you are, land - grabber.’
‘Really, you ‘re wrong in this. Won’t you be pleased to come in to have some lunch, and rest a bit?’
Misha raised his head. ‘So that’s it now! And anything to drink?’
The money - lender was delighted. ‘Why, of course … I should think so.’
‘You invite Timofay too?’
‘Well, … yes, him too.’
Misha pondered. ‘Only, mind … you made me a beggar, you know…. Don’t think you can get off with one bottle!’
‘Set your mind at rest … there shall be all you can want.’
Misha got up and flung down the spade…. ‘Well, Timosha,’ said he to his old nurse; ‘let’s do honour to our host…. Come along.’
‘Yes, sir,’ answered the old man.
And all three started off to the house together. The money - lender knew the man he had to deal with. At the first start Misha, it is true, exacted a promise from him to ‘grant all sorts of immunities’ to the peasants; but an hour later, this same Misha, together with Timofay, both drunk, were dancing a galop in the big apartments, which still seemed pervaded by the God - fearing shade of Andrei Nikolaevitch; and an hour later still, Misha in a dead sleep (he had a very weak head for spirits), laid in a cart with his high cap and dagger, was being driven off to the town, more than twenty miles away, and there was flung under a hedge…. As for Timofay, who could still keep on his legs, and only hiccupped — him, of course, they kicked out of the house; since they couldn’t get at the master, they had to be content with the old servant.
VI
Some time passed again, and I heard nothing of Misha…. God knows what he was doing. But one day, as I sat over the samovar at a posting - station on the T — — highroad, waiting for horses, I suddenly heard under the open window of the station room a hoarse voice, uttering in French the words: ‘Monsieur … monsieur … prenez pitié d’un pauvre gentil - homme ruiné.’ … I lifted my head, glanced…. The mangy - looking fur cap, the broken ornaments on the ragged Circassian dress, the dagger in the cracked sheath, the swollen, but still rosy face, the dishevelled, but still thick crop of hair…. Mercy on us! Misha! He had come then to begging alms on the high - roads. I could not help crying out. He recognised me, started, turned away, and was about to move away from the window. I stopped him … but what could I say to him? Give him a lecture? … In silence I held out a five - rouble note; he, also in silence, took it in his still white and plump, though shaking and dirty hand, and vanished round the corner of the house.
It was a good while before they gave me horses, and I had time to give myself up to gloomy reflections on my unexpected meeting with Misha; I felt ashamed of having let him go so unsympathetically.
At last I set off on my way, and half a mile from the station I observed ahead of me, in the road, a crowd of people moving along with a curious, as it seemed rhythmic, step. I overtook this crowd — and what did I see?
Some dozen or so beggars, with sacks over their shoulders, were walking two by two, singing and leaping about, while in front of them danced Misha, stamping time with his feet, and shouting, ‘Natchiki - tchikaldy, tchuk, tchuk, tchuk! … Natchiki - tchikaldy, tchuk, tchuk, tchuk!’ Directly my carriage caught them up, and he saw me, he began at once shouting, ‘Hurrah! Stand in position! right about face, guard of the roadside!’
The beggars took up his shout, and halted; while he, with his peculiar laugh, jumped on to the carriage step, and again yelled: Hurrah!
‘What’s the meaning of this?’ I asked with involuntary astonishment.
‘This? This is my company, my army — all beggars, God’s people, friends of my heart. Every one of them, thanks to you, has had a glass; and now we are all rejoicing and making merry! … Uncle! Do you know it’s only with beggars, God’s people, that one can live in the world … by God, it is!’
I made him no answer … but at that moment he struck me as such a kind good creature, his face expressed such childlike simple - heartedness…. A light seemed suddenly as it were to dawn upon me, and I felt a pang in my heart…. ‘Get into the carriage,’ I said to him. He was taken aback….
‘What? Into the carriage?’
‘Yes, get in, get in,’ I repeated; ‘I want to make you a suggestion. Sit down…. Come along with me.’
‘Well, as you will.’ He sat down. ‘Well, and you, my honoured friends, my dear comrades,’ he added, addressing the beggars, ‘fare - well, till we meet again.’ Misha took off his high cap, and bowed low. The beggars all seemed overawed…. I told the coachman to whip up the horses, and the carriage rolled off.
The suggestion I wanted to make Misha was this: the idea suddenly occurred to me to take him with me to my home in the country, about five - and - twenty miles from that station, to rescue him, or at least to make an effort to rescue him. ‘Listen, Misha,’ I said; ‘will you come along and live with me? … You shall have everything provided you; you shall have clothes and linen made you; you shall be properly fitted out, and you shall have money to spend on tobacco, and so on, only on one condition, that you give up drink…. Do you agree?’
Misha was positively aghast with delight; he opened his eyes wide, flushed crimson, and suddenly falling on my shoulder, began kissing me, and repeating in a broken voice, ‘Uncle … benefactor … God reward you.’ … He burst into tears at last, and taking off his cap fell to wiping his eyes, his nose, his lips with it.
‘Mind,’ I observed; ‘remember the condition, not to touch strong drink.’
‘Damnation to it!’ he cried, with a wave of both arms, and with this impetuous movement, I was more than ever conscious of the strong smell of spirits with which he seemed always saturated…. ‘Uncle, if you knew what my life has been…. If it hadn’t been for sorrow, a cruel fate…. But now I swear, I swear, I will mend my ways, I will show you…. Uncle, I’ve never told a lie — you can ask whom you like…. I’m honest, but I’m an unlucky fellow, uncle; I’ve known no kindness from any one….’
Here he broke down finally into sobs. I tried to soothe him, and succeeded so far that when we reached home Misha had long been lost in a heavy sleep, with his head on my knees.
VII
He was at once assigned a room for himself, and at once, first thing, taken to the bath, which was absolutely essential. All his clothes, and his dagger and cap and torn boots, were carefully put away in a loft; he was dressed in clean linen, slippers, and some clothes of mine, which, as is always the way with poor relations, at once seemed to adapt themselves to his size and figure. When he came to table, washed, clean, and fresh, he seemed so touched and happy, he beamed all over with such joyful gratitude, that I too felt moved and joyful…. His face was completely transformed…. Boys of twelve have faces like that on
Easter Sundays, after the communion, when, thickly pomaded, in new jacket and starched collars, they come to exchange Easter greetings with their parents. Misha was continually — with a sort of cautious incredulity — feeling himself and repeating: ‘What does it mean? … Am I in heaven?’ The next day he announced that he had not slept all night, he had been in such ecstasy.
I had living in my house at that time an old aunt with her niece; both of them were extremely disturbed when they heard of Misha’s presence; they could not comprehend how I could have asked him into my house! There were very ugly rumours about him. But in the first place, I knew he was always very courteous with ladies; and, secondly, I counted on his promises of amendment. And, in fact, for the first two days of his stay under my roof Misha not merely justified my expectations but surpassed them, while the ladies of the household were simply enchanted with him. He played piquet with the old lady, helped her to wind her worsted, showed her two new games of patience; for the niece, who had a small voice, he played accompaniments on the piano, and read Russian and French poetry. He told both the ladies lively but discreet anecdotes; in fact, he showed them every attention, so that they repeatedly expressed their surprise to me, and the old lady even observed how unjust people sometimes were…. The things — the things they had said of him … and he such a quiet fellow, and so polite … poor Misha! It is true that at table ‘poor Misha’ licked his lips in a rather peculiar, hurried way, if he simply glanced at the bottle. But I had only to shake my finger at him, and he would turn his eyes upwards, and lay his hand on his heart … as if to say, I have sworn…. ‘I am regenerated now,’ he assured me…. ‘Well, God grant it be so,’ was my thought…. But this regeneration did not last long.
The first two days he was very talkative and cheerful. But even on the third day he seemed somehow subdued, though he remained, as before, with the ladies and tried to entertain them. A half mournful, half dreamy expression flitted now and then over his face, and the face itself was paler and looked thinner. ‘Are you unwell?’ I asked him.
‘Yes,’ he answered; ‘my head aches a little.’ On the fourth day he was completely silent; for the most part he sat in a corner, hanging his head disconsolately, and his dejected appearance worked upon the compassionate sympathies of the two ladies, who now, in their turn, tried to amuse him. At table he ate nothing, stared at his plate, and rolled up pellets of bread. On the fifth day the feeling of compassion in the ladies began to be replaced by other emotions — uneasiness and even alarm. Misha was so strange, he held aloof from people, and kept moving along close to the walls, as though trying to steal by unnoticed, and suddenly looking round as though some one had called him. And what had become of his rosy colour? It seemed covered over by a layer of earth. ‘Are you still unwell?’ I asked him.
‘No, I’m all right,’ he answered abruptly.
‘Are you dull?’
‘Why should I be dull?’ But he turned away and would not look me in the face.
‘Or is it that wretchedness come over you again?’ To this he made no reply. So passed another twenty - four hours.
Next day my aunt ran into my room in a state of great excitement, declaring that she would leave the house with her niece, if Misha was to remain in it.
‘Why so?’
‘Why, we are dreadfully scared with him…. He’s not a man, he’s a wolf, — nothing better than a wolf. He keeps moving and moving about, and doesn’t speak — and looks so wild…. He almost gnashes his teeth at me. My Katia, you know, is so nervous…. She was so struck with him the first day…. I’m in terror for her, and indeed for myself too.’ … I didn’t know what to say to my aunt. I couldn’t, anyway, turn Misha out, after inviting him.
He relieved me himself from my difficult position. The same day, — I was still sitting in my own room, — suddenly I heard behind me a husky and angry voice: ‘Nikolai Nikolaitch, Nikolai Nikolaitch!’ I looked round; Misha was standing in the doorway with a face that was fearful, black - looking and distorted. ‘Nikolai Nikolaitch!’ he repeated … (not ‘uncle’ now).
‘What do you want?’
‘Let me go … at once!’
‘Why?’
‘Let me go, or I shall do mischief, I shall set the house on fire or cut some one’s throat.’ Misha suddenly began trembling. ‘Tell them to give me back my clothes, and let a cart take me to the highroad, and let me have some money, however little!’
‘Are you displeased, then, at anything?’
‘I can’t live like this!’ he shrieked at the top of his voice. ‘I can’t live in your respectable, thrice - accursed house! It makes me sick, and ashamed to live so quietly! … How you manage to endure it!’
‘That is,’ I interrupted in my turn, ‘you mean — you can’t live without drink….’
‘Well, yes! yes!’ he shrieked again: ‘only let me go to my brethren, my friends, to the beggars! … Away from your respectable, loathsome species!’
I was about to remind him of his sworn promises, but Misha’s frenzied look, his breaking voice, the convulsive tremor in his limbs, — it was all so awful, that I made haste to get rid of him; I said that his clothes should be given him at once, and a cart got ready; and taking a note for twenty - five roubles out of a drawer, I laid it on the table. Misha had begun to advance in a menacing way towards me, — but on this, suddenly he stopped, his face worked, flushed, he struck himself on the breast, the tears rushed from his eyes, and muttering, ‘Uncle! angel! I know I’m a ruined man! thanks! thanks!’ he snatched up the note and ran away.
An hour later he was sitting in the cart dressed once more in his Circassian costume, again rosy and cheerful; and when the horses started, he yelled, tore off the peaked cap, and, waving it over his head, made bow after bow. Just as he was going off, he had given me a long and warm embrace, and whispered, ‘Benefactor, benefactor … there’s no saving me!’ He even ran to the ladies and kissed their hands, fell on his knees, called upon God, and begged their forgiveness! Katia I found afterwards in tears.
The coachman, with whom Misha had set off, on coming home informed me that he had driven him to the first tavern on the highroad — and that there ‘his honour had stuck,’ had begun treating every one indiscriminately — and had quickly sunk into unconsciousness. From that day I never came across Misha again, but his ultimate fate I learned in the following manner.
VIII
Three years later, I was again at home in the country; all of a sudden a servant came in and announced that Madame Poltyev was asking to see me. I knew no Madame Poltyev, and the servant, who made this announcement, for some unknown reason smiled sarcastically. To my glance of inquiry, he responded that the lady asking for me was young, poorly dressed, and had come in a peasant’s cart with one horse, which she was driving herself! I told him to ask Madame Poltyev up to my room.
I saw a woman of five - and - twenty, in the dress of the small tradesman class, with a large kerchief on her head. Her face was simple, roundish, not without charm; she looked dejected and gloomy, and was shy and awkward in her movements.
‘You are Madame Poltyev?’ I inquired, and I asked her to sit down.
‘Yes,’ she answered in a subdued voice, and she did not sit down. ‘I am the widow of your nephew, Mihail Andreevitch Poltyev.’
‘Is Mihail Andreevitch dead? Has he been dead long? But sit down, I beg.’
She sank into a chair.
‘It’s two months.’
‘And had you been married to him long?’
‘I had been a year with him.’
‘Where have you come from now?’
‘From out Tula way…. There’s a village there, Znamenskoe - Glushkovo — perhaps you may know it. I am the daughter of the deacon there. Mihail Andreitch and I lived there…. He lived in my father’s house. We were a whole year together.’
The young woman’s lips twitched a little, and she put her hand up to them. She seemed to be on the point of tears, but she controlled herself, and clear
ed her throat.
‘Mihail Andreitch,’ she went on: ‘before his death enjoined upon me to go to you; “You must be sure to go,” said he! And he told me to thank you for all your goodness, and to give you … this … see, this little thing (she took a small packet out of her pocket) which he always had about him…. And Mihail Andreitch said, if you would be pleased to accept it in memory of him, if you would not disdain it…. “There’s nothing else,” said he, “I can give him” … that is, you….’
In the packet there was a little silver cup with the monogram of Misha’s mother. This cup I had often seen in Misha’s hands, and once he had even said to me, speaking of some poor fellow, that he really was destitute, since he had neither cup nor bowl, ‘while I, see, have this anyway.’
I thanked her, took the cup, and asked:
‘Of what complaint had Misha died? No doubt….’
Then I bit my tongue … but the young woman understood my unuttered hint…. She took a swift glance at me, then looked down again, smiled mournfully, and said at once: ‘Oh no! he had quite given that up, ever since he got to know me … But he had no health at all! … It was shattered quite. As soon as he gave up drink, he fell into ill health directly. He became so steady; he always wanted to help father in his land or in the garden, … or any other work there might be … in spite of his being of noble birth. But how could he get the strength? … At writing, too, he tried to work; as you know, he could do that work capitally, but his hands shook, and he couldn’t hold the pen properly. … He was always finding fault with himself; “I’m a white - handed poor creature,” he would say; “I’ve never done any good to anybody, never helped, never laboured!” He worried himself very much about that…. He used to say that our people labour, — but what use are we? … Ah, Nikolai Nikolaitch, he was a good man — and he was fond of me … and I… Ah, pardon me….’
Works of Ivan Turgenev (Illustrated) Page 271
