My maternal clock ticked. Will I ever have children? The last relationship I had was a disaster. Can I still find “the one”?
Zach fell asleep. I took the bottle away from his mouth. This time, he didn’t try to take it back. Darlene carried him off to bed.
When she returned, Darlene opened a bottle of white wine. We relaxed, sitting on the couch. “Have you seen Daisy much?” she asked.
“A few times.”
“I wish she would find another job.” A crease formed above her forehead. “No good can come from hanging around those people.” She took a drink.
“Why do you say that?” I could guess the reasons, but I hoped Darlene would explain what she meant by “those people.”
Darlene poured wine into her glass then offered more to me.
“I’m done, thanks.” I had a feeling she knew what kind of family Daisy worked for. She also probably thought I’d need more wine to handle hearing it. I didn’t like Daisy working for that kind of family. But I didn’t want to worry Darlene about it unless she already knew. It wasn’t because I didn’t care—it was because I knew Daisy loved her job, and I didn’t know if anyone could ever convince her to leave it.
After putting the wine bottle in the fridge, she came back and sat down. “Does the name Bugiardini mean anything to you?”
“It didn’t until I came here.” It was an honest answer, but I avoided going into detail.
“You know they are part of the mafia?”
“I know they are not the kind of people you want to offend in any way. And yes, I know about the mob part.”
“Cassie, Daisy’s boss, is Alberto Bugiardini’s sister. Mercedes is Cassie’s daughter. Mercedes is Daisy’s friend and works with her at the boutique. Daisy just needs to move on. She needs to get another job. She has enough experience to work anywhere. It seems like she spends more and more time outside of work with Mercedes. What if she falls in love with a man from that horrible family? I was hoping you could convince her that associating with them is a bad idea. I advised her to get another job, but she wouldn’t listen. Maybe she’d listen to you.”
“I’m not sure about that.” I finished my wine and set the glass on the side table. “I’m just getting reacquainted with her again. Is she dating one of them?”
“Not yet. Will you talk to her?” Her eyes begged me. “At least try to.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” I couldn’t refuse her. “When you told her to get a new job, did you say you know that the family is part of the mob?”
“Well, that’s the thing, isn’t it? If you admit you know what they do, then you fear that, if Daisy confronts them about their illegal activities, it may not end well. They could whack her for knowing too much. I didn’t go that route. I said I thought she could go up the ladder in a bigger corporation rather than work for a single designer.”
“I’ll try to think of something. Maybe I can have dinner with her and find out how much she knows. I can’t imagine Daisy is friends with Mercedes but doesn’t know about the mob connection to Mercedes’s family.”
Darlene held my hand briefly. “Thank you. Just be careful. I wouldn’t admit to knowing anything illegal out in public.”
I nodded. I had no idea how I was going to talk to Daisy about it. I wished Darlene had waited until the morning to ask such a huge favor. How can I sleep with this weighing on my conscience?
“I think I will have some more wine after all,” I said. If I was lucky, it would act as a sleep aid, so I’d focus on snoozing in a quiet room instead of worrying about Daisy. Otherwise, I’d fret all night, tossing and turning, unable to figure out a way to keep her from harm, away from people who she thought were her friends.
Chapter 20
Fiona, earlier that day
Icame home from work, if I could count walking around like a zombie while doing the bare minimum “working.” Lack of sleep from the night before made an eight-hour shift seem like it would never end. When five o’clock finally arrived, there were two things I needed to do. Everything else would have to wait, including obsessing about where Cam could be. First, I owed Amber an apology for calling her a mother hen. Second, I needed a long nap.
I’d hug Amber and tell her that it would never happen again. I’d never raise my voice and snap at her. She was a dear friend who had supported me in every imaginable way. The regret I felt from barking at her earlier would fade only when she forgave me.
I assumed Amber would be home when I got there. When I saw the note from her, my heart sank.
The only way to reach Amber would be to call her cell phone. However, calling her on the phone wouldn’t cut it. She deserved a face-to-face apology. To let her know how sorry I was, I needed to do something special. What, I did not know.
I called Henry and declined the offer of dinner without going into detail about Cam being missing. Amber was going to be there. The next time I saw her, I planned to apologize. My regret for my previous rudeness shouldn’t be stated in someone else’s house. We needed privacy when I asked for forgiveness. I would wait to see her when she returned home.
I lay down and slept. When I awoke, it was dark. The noises of traffic and horns sounded louder than the fan in my bedroom. My stomach growled, protesting the light lunch from earlier.
After I ate dinner, I thought of the perfect thing to do for Amber. I had some savings, and I hoped it would be enough to buy her a plane ticket to visit her sister in California. It was perfect. Since the pub was going to need remodeling before it reopened, it was an ideal time for her to take a trip. Amber had enough money to pay for a trip home. Still, the gesture was grand enough to let her know how sorry I was for my harsh words.
The next day, TGIF seemed like an understatement. Only one more day of work, then the weekend would be here. I talked to my boss about leaving an hour early if I made up the time on Monday. He agreed.
I took the subway to New Jersey to see Leo. I figured he must be going crazy not knowing where his brother was. We could go out to eat dinner and console each other. Not telling him ahead of time that I would be there was risky. Hell, I didn’t even know if he worked that day.
I walked into the used car dealership. Since salesmen work long hours, I expected he’d be there after five, but he wasn’t at his desk. He must be out on the lot. I sat by his desk and waited for him to come back inside.
There were two salesmen in the showroom. One was on the phone. The other was with customers. A mechanic with a clipboard was at the customer service desk. I recognized him as one of Cam’s coworkers, who I had seen in the garage. We made eye contact.
He gave some paperwork to the receptionist then headed my way. His eyes were fixed on mine. His frown grew deeper until he reached Leo’s desk.
He stood in front of me. “Fiona… It’s such a tragedy. Man, Cam really loved you.”
My core felt as though a bone-chilling wind had swept through it. “Loved,” past tense!
I twitched my head in a “no” motion. I couldn’t feel the seat. All I could focus on was the word “loved.” Everything slowed down. All I could see was the man’s mouth moving. The tunnel vision was so powerful that I strained to hear the words he was trying to speak.
“It’s just…” He shook his head, stared at the floor, and closed his eyes. He slumped down into Leo’s chair. “I lost my brother years ago. I can sympathize with Leo.”
The word “lost” I heard the clearest, because it meant Cam was gone forever. I would never see him again. I drew in a quick breath. My lower lip quivered. Tears pooled at the corners of my eyes. “H-h-he’s dead?”
The man leaned over the desk and handed me a tissue. “Oh God, you didn’t know!”
I was in shock, so my movements seemed disconnected from my mind as I took it from him.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I just assumed you were here to pick up something for Leo. It was in the papers. The guys have been talking about it.”
I sat staring at him but not seeing him. I saw sweet Cam’s fac
e and the way he looked the last time I saw him. He looked strong, handsome, and determined to help find a way to pay my father’s debt.
The man used Leo’s phone to call someone. I couldn’t hear the words, because memories of Cam still flashed in my mind. It was like watching old family films where there was no sound, just images of the man I adored, with him loving me like no one else could. His smile. His scent. His touch. The way he used to hold me.
The mechanic said something, interrupting my thoughts. Then he was gone.
All of my pent-up anxiety and trauma needed to be released. I walked to the nearest office. It was enclosed in glass, so I knew I’d be alone. I turned the knob. As soon as the door shut, I tried to scream to release all of the anguish of losing my soulmate. The sound wouldn’t leave my body. Instead, I heaved, squeaking out half sobs. The noise didn’t let the deep pain in my soul come out. It was the kind of ache only wailing with full force would help soothe. I hyperventilated on the small couch. My head sank into my hands. I drew in as much air as my lungs could handle, then screeched, exhaling until I had no more to give. My mouth hung open. I drew in another breath. I wanted to do it again, but my body wouldn’t allow it. I collapsed, my head on my knees.
The mechanic flung the door open, causing me to look up. “Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded.
“I heard you scream. We all did.” He looked white as a ghost. My wailing must have scared the shit out of him.
“It’s all too much!” My heart was still beating fast from screeching so loudly. “Learning that h-h-he’s—”
“I’m so sorry that I was the one to tell you,” he said, handing me a tissue. “I’ve called Leo. He’s coming to get you. Would you like me to wait with you?”
“I appreciate the offer, but no. I’d rather be alone,” I muttered.
“I understand.” He left.
Leo was coming. I’d have to look at Cam’s twin. Fuck! The man’s good intention of calling me a ride was backfiring. How can I stand to be around Leo right after learning of Cam’s death? I was about to find out, because there was no way I was going to be able to think straight enough to take public transportation back to the apartment.
The music’s volume in the store went up. I was sure it was a precaution against blocking any more of my hysterical sounds.
A salesman came into the room and put a cup of water on the end table. “I thought you’d like something to drink.”
“Thanks.”
I was tempted to ask him how Cam died, and the question almost escaped my lips. But I wasn’t ready for the answer. I knew why it happened. It was because he was getting the money to pay my father’s debt to the mob. Because of my father’s actions, he was gone. I wiped the tears away and took a sip of water. The yelling had wrecked my throat, making it dry and raw. Even water was hard to swallow. I didn’t know how I was going to survive.
Chapter 21
Amber
After I spent Friday night at Henry’s home, Henry and I took the train into the city. Henry was meeting with the contractor for estimates on new kitchen appliances.
We arrived at our destination and got off the train. It was ten in the morning, which was early for a second shifter like me. I figured I’d get some more quality time with Henry on the way home then take a nap.
We walked toward the pub. Henry said, “Charles suggested we could still offer takeout if we used the few things that work. We can use the one stove and store cold items in the fridge in the bar.”
“That’s a great idea!”
Henry stepped ahead of me to move around people. It wasn’t always convenient to walk side by side in the city. It made conversations sporadic. I caught up with him. “I thought I saw the bucket with people’s business cards still on top of the bar the other day. We could email or call them to let them know when the takeout would be available.”
“Maybe. In a few days, you can.”
Henry opened the pub door. We went inside. I looked around. Henry probably wasn’t ready to think that far ahead yet. There was still a lot of work to be done before we’d be ready to cook food.
I found the bucket. The cards sticking out were gray from the fire. “You have your hands full. I could see which business cards are still readable to get their email addresses for you.”
Henry smiled. “I know you’re trying to be helpful. Let me figure out what food can still be prepared. I’ll let you know later.”
“Of course.” I smiled back at him. “I’ll just take some of these.” I found some that weren’t blackened by the ashes of the fire and put them in my pocket.
∞ ∞ ∞
I took a chance that Daisy was available and called her to meet for lunch. She said to meet her at the boutique. I needed to find out if she had any hopes of disconnecting with her employer for her sister’s sanity and her overall well-being. Plus, I wanted to see her.
We ate at the deli near her job. Since I had moved to the big city, I had adapted and became more of a go-with-the-flow type of person, like Daisy. To arrange to see friends and survive day to day, that was the only way to be. Yet, I wasn’t on the extreme side like Daisy. I had a better chance of seeing her if I invited her last minute, rather than planning it.
I savored the hot pastrami sandwich on rye. It hit the spot. Ever since I had eaten there a while ago, I had wanted to come back and get it again. “God, I love this meat!”
Daisy laughed. “I can tell.”
She crunched her pickle as I ate coleslaw. I loved the way it tasted different from any other coleslaw.
“I was wondering about what you know about…” I let my voice trail off. Damn! It was coming out wrong. I didn’t want to ask her point blank about her employer having mob connections.
She saw my perplexed look. “I think I know what you’re going to ask.”
Do you? I hoped so. I’d rather not finish that sentence.
“Is it about my boss? About her family being part of the crime world?”
Thank God, she said it. “Yeah, I didn’t know if you knew, and Darlene is concerned about it. I am too.”
“Well, don’t be. It’s just a job. Someday I’ll get another one. For now, it’s good experience.” She casually continued eating.
Her lack of concern was disturbing. She and Mercedes did pal around. She had told me about her connection with Mercedes during one of our phone conversations. They had both gone to FIT and both graduated the same time. Then Daisy went to work for Mercedes’s mother at the boutique.
“And the parties!” Her eyes got big. “You should see the ones they throw. The women cook, or they have it catered. It’s amazing. You should go with me sometime.”
She clearly had no intention of finding a way to not work for them, at least not soon. “Maybe,” I lied. I had no intention of doing that, either.
I got a box for the part of the meal I couldn’t finish. We left and went our separate ways.
Daisy seemed to be letting her free spirit connect her with all the wrong people, and she didn’t care that it did. She wasn’t going to change. Darlene needed to accept that. I’d tell Darlene about our lunch. I wasn’t looking forward to explaining to her that Daisy leaving her employer was a lost cause. If Daisy left that job, it would be because she wanted to, not because Darlene was concerned. Darlene wouldn’t like hearing that.
Eager to get that conversation over with, I went to a drug store on the way home and called Darlene’s cell. It was quieter than talking on the sidewalks in the city.
“Hey, it’s Amber. Can you talk for just a few?”
“Yeah, what’s going on?” she asked, mumbling as if she were eating.
“I spoke with Daisy about her employer,” I said, grabbing a basket to pick up a few items.
I heard a rustling, as though she put her food down on something. “Did you get through to her?”
“I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but she thinks of it as just a job,” I explained as I walked down the aisle. “A jo
b with great perks like parties. She said she may leave it someday, but for now, it’s giving her experience.”
“I don’t know what to do anymore!”
I sighed, putting some toilet paper into the basket. “I think you’d be better off just letting it go.”
She gasped. “She’s my sister. How can I?”
“I don’t know, but for your sanity, you should,” I advised.
She was silent. I had upset her.
“Maybe one day soon, she’ll get another job offer.” I tried to give her a silver lining to the dark cloud hanging above her head.
“I have to go,” she blurted out.
I stopped walking. “I’m sorry, Darlene. Really, I am.”
She hung up. It wasn’t a pleasant ending to the conversation, but I had been honest with her. I hoped she would let it go. I hoped she could.
I came home. Fiona’s purse was on the kitchen table, and I heard soft music playing. I walked past her bedroom. The door was almost closed. I’d check on her later.
Fiona stayed in her room. She never came out. I stayed up late, hoping to see her and talk about our spat and get the uncomfortable conversation out of the way, but I never did.
I couldn’t keep my eyes open while watching television. Fading in and out of the show, I’d wake up to a new one starting without seeing the ending to the previous one. I gave in to the need for sleep and went to my bedroom.
I slept until I heard Fiona talking. She spoke barely loud enough to wake me. I heard her blow her nose repeatedly in between sobs. She replied as if she was speaking to someone. I figured she was talking on the phone. The more she spoke, the more emotional she became. Oh God, Cam. Was she talking to him and receiving bad news? I bolted out of bed.
Chapter 22
Irushed to her and sat on her bed. She buried her face in her pillow. The phone she clutched in her hand beeped, signaling that the person on the other end had hung up.
I rubbed her back. “I’m hanging up the phone for you,” I explained, taking it away.
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