City in the Middle

by Colleen Green

  I couldn’t walk out on Henry and my job. He had given me an opportunity at a new life when I needed it the most. It would be heartless to cut Fiona off.

  All I could do was pour my heart and soul out to Gabe and hope for the best. I knew where I stood. I stood by my friends, no matter what. That decision left a knot in my gut, one that wasn’t going to go away until I spoke with Gabe.

  Chapter 35

  Fiona

  Even though I had regained my ability to sleep through the entire night without taking pills, I still couldn’t fall into the deep stages of sleep. I knew why. It was because the place didn’t feel quite right without Amber. The apartment seemed empty without her. The night she returned, I looked forward to the deep slumber I had been missing since the day she left for her trip.

  Somehow, it didn’t work that way. Sleep did come, but only in waves. The second time I woke, I was sweating, and the sheets felt damp as I readjusted them. I ran my fingers through my wet hair. The clock on my nightstand read 2:58 a.m. I grabbed my body pillow and buried it under the covers, in between my legs. I hadn’t perspired all over it, so it cooled my body. I shivered, and eventually my temperature returned to normal.

  Just as I started to drift off to sleep again, I heard a faint scraping sound, as though something was scratching and pushing against the wall behind the headboard.

  What the hell?

  I sat up. The sound grew louder. It sounded like constant, tiny, and persistent clawing or gnawing on wood. Whatever could fit in the space in between the walls had to be small. I got up and located where I heard it. I was sure that only the wall separated it from me. Then the noise progressed across the room. I moved to the left, where it was louder. Then, the noise stopped. I sighed, relieved, until I realized what it might be. Mice.

  It took a while for me to fall asleep again. I kept waiting for the sound to return, but it never did, so I began to snooze.

  Hours later, I felt a tingling sensation on my arm. It tickled, and I awoke chuckling. How weird. Must have been a dream. As I had done several times that night, I tossed and turned until I was comfortable.

  It happened again. The light touch started on the back of my elbow and then moved down my forearm. The creeping movement dug deeper into my skin as it increased its pace. My breath hitched, but I was too terrified to find out what was crawling on me. When it pinched my fingers as if gripping them and I felt the flicking of moisture and tiny pricks showering my hand, I had to see what it was. I flung the covers back, screaming. I swiped my arm and hand around in one motion hoping to get whatever was on me off of me, but nothing was there.

  Amber bolted into the room. “What is it, Fiona?”

  “A really bad dream,” I said, panting from the false alarm.

  “I guess.” She put her hand up to her heart. “You scared the shit out of me!”

  “Sorry. You haven’t seen any mice, have you?”

  “No, why?”

  “I heard noises earlier tonight. I swear they were going to bust through the wall.”

  “They?” Amber’s eyes become as wide as saucers. “Have you had this problem before?”

  “No, but I’ve heard horror stories from others who have. The sound I heard was just like what they described. But I haven’t actually seen one in the apartment.”

  “That’s a relief.” Amber sat on the bed and felt my forehead. “You look flushed,” she said. “Do you have a fever?”

  “I don’t know. I kept tossing and turning.”

  “I’ll get the thermometer if we have one.”

  “Yeah, it’s in the bathroom behind the mirror.”

  Amber retrieved it, and I took my temperature. It was normal.

  “I’m sorry I woke you,” I said. “You should go back to sleep.”

  “If you’re sure you’re all right, then I will.”

  “I’m sure,” I lied.

  Chapter 36

  Amber

  Iarranged to see Gabe at his place. His roommate had gone away on business again, which was perfect for our private conversation. We both had a few hours before our night shifts began.

  Gabe opened his door wearing an open button-down shirt. He must have just gotten out of the shower, because his hair was wet. Water trickled down his rock-hard abs, tracing the scrumptious hills and valleys of his muscles. I bit my lower lip.

  “Amber, come on in,” he said, starting to button his shirt.

  “Wait, leave it,” I said. I hugged him, trying to get as close as possible.

  He sighed and held our embrace while running his fingers through my long hair, giving my head a massage in the process.

  “I missed you,” I said, leaning back.

  He kissed me softly. “You know, we do have enough time to make the most of our day.”

  Gabe wasn’t making this any easier. Although making love to him for the second time would be amazing, I had to get rid of the butterflies in my stomach. The only way to do that was to divulge everything about my father and the pub’s mob connections.

  “As lovely as that sounds, there’s something I need to tell you.” I sat on the couch, and he sat close by.

  He lowered his eyebrows, took my hand, and held it. “Is everything all right?”

  “That depends on how you take what I’m about to tell you. I want you to know everything about me. I don’t want any secrets between us.” I gave him the chance to come clean about seeing my father.

  “Me either,” he said.

  My heart sank. It would have been the perfect time for him to admit it. It would have made telling him about the pub’s mob connections easier, because we would be mutually divulging to each other.

  I took my hand away. “Then why didn’t you tell me about the man who was paying you to check in on me? I saw him try to give you money under the archway in Central Park.”

  He tried to speak, but words didn’t come out. He went slack-jawed, and his eyes widened.

  “It seems like you need a minute. I’m going to the bathroom, and when I come out, you can speak, maybe.” I had already forgiven him for the indiscretion, but I still deserved an explanation.

  When I returned, I stood facing him with my arms crossed.

  He shook his head. “I-I-I thought I was helping your desperate father. This man said he wanted to inform your father about how you were doing. Once I got to know you, it didn’t feel right to keep accepting the money. The more time I spent with you, I realized that I’d fallen in love with you.”

  “He lied to you about who he is. He’s my father.”

  He froze.

  “Were you ever going to tell me about him?”

  “No, but I’d planned on meeting him and telling him I couldn’t be his contact anymore. If your father wanted to speak with you, then he’d have to muster up the courage to do it himself.”

  “Is that why you wanted to take it slow? You didn’t want to sleep with me while my father was paying you?”

  “Exactly. I wanted to stop being his spy before we had sex. Otherwise, I was no better than a prostitute. But when I awoke that morning after the arousing dream and you were so willing, I gave in.” He frowned.

  “I’ve given this whole situation a lot of thought, and your intentions seem like they were noble. You were trying to help my father. You just didn’t know you were talking directly to him. When your conscience made you feel guilty about accepting money for dating a woman you love, you did the right thing and stopped taking it.”

  “I’m glad you’re so understanding and forgiving.” He got up and came over to me. He traced my face with his fingers and grazed my lips with his thumb before kissing me.

  “Now it’s your turn to be understanding.” I swallowed, but it didn’t help my dry mouth. “As painful as this is going to be, it’s probably best if you let me get the whole thing out before you give me your thoughts.”

  “Okay.” It was the last word he would speak for the next hour.

  I told Gabe everything about my father, inclu
ding how he left my family when I was young and lied about what he did for a living. I explained how he had connections to the cops. The mess with the pub and the mob was based mostly on suspicions instead of facts, but still he needed to know. When I said “Bugiardini,” Gabe’s breath hitched, and he sat down. I emphasized how much Fiona’s and Henry’s friendships meant to me. Staying at the pub and being able to give the cops insider info about the whole mob situation was the best thing I could do to help Henry restore his father’s pub’s reputation as a legit business.

  Gabe listened, not saying a word. Throughout the conversation, he scrunched his eyebrows together on and off and would occasionally tip his head to the side, as if he was trying to wrap his mind around everything that I had been through.

  He sat there, his body frozen and his face slack, with his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. Once again, he tried to speak, but nothing came out. He shook his head and went over to the window. He ran his fingers through his sandy-brown hair and looked out the window with a pensive stare. He probably didn’t see the city. What he probably imagined was the image of me—perhaps the real me—for the first time.

  I walked over and put my arms around him. I kissed his neck. “I know this is a lot to take in,” I said.

  He turned around. His gaze was soft. A deep sorrow radiated from his eyes. “Yeah, it is.” He kissed me on the forehead. “I’m going to need some time to think. I do love you. But these people—how can I let you be around them and not be worried sick? In fact, I already am sick about it.” He sat on the couch and put his head in his hands. He avoided eye contact by looking at the floor.

  “You’re not letting me do anything.” I sat on the ground and looked up at him. I took his hands away from his face so he could no longer bury his face in them and tilted his chin to me until we held each other’s gaze. “I’ve chosen to stick around and help Henry with the pub situation. I just want you by my side no matter what, because I love you too.”

  He managed to turn the corners of his mouth upward for a second. “Can you give me some time?”

  It was understandable for him to ask for time to grasp everything I’d told him and, I hoped, to accept it. “Of course, but not too long, okay?”

  He nodded.

  Still, I worried that the more time he took to think about it, the more he’d be logical instead of listening to his heart. He wouldn’t want to put either one of us in danger. My heartbeat drummed, and my throat went dry as my body heat escalated. “Please try to understand my point of view.”

  “I’ll try. But you need to think about how I feel too. I don’t want to lose you, Amber. What if what happened to Cam or Fiona happens to you? I couldn’t bear it.”

  “That’s not going to—”

  “Shh.” He covered my mouth with his finger. “Don’t jinx it. Cam didn’t think he’d ever get dragged into it, either. But shit happens, and you don’t know how far it’ll go until it does.” He got up and looked at a calendar on the wall by his fridge. “Can you give me a week to absorb everything you just said? All of it?”

  I sighed, relieved that it wouldn’t be too long. “Yes.” I walked over to him.

  “Are you available to meet in a week?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into him.

  “Yes.” I looked down as tears welled up. Would he still be mine in a week?

  “A week from today, at noon, if I can handle what is going on in your life, then I will be at the Brooklyn tower on the Brooklyn Bridge.”

  My heart skipped a beat as I hugged him tightly. “And if you can’t handle it?”

  “Then we won’t see each other anymore,” he said in a shaky voice.

  It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t catch my breath. He kissed me long and hard, letting his tongue explore every part of my mouth. When he pulled away, I wondered if it was a goodbye kiss.

  “I can’t imagine never doing that again,” he said, his voice wobbling. “I just need some time. That’s all.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you in a week.” I took an optimistic approach. I embraced him, smelling his freshly showered body and feeling his muscles holding me back. In his arms, I felt safe.

  “Goodb—”

  “No! Don’t say it!” I pulled away and looked Gabe square in the eyes.

  The anticipation of him finishing that word was too much. I didn’t want to hear it. Not even a temporary goodbye was bearable, probably because there was no guarantee that Gabe would decide he could handle the ugly truth of what I would be facing in the future.

  We let go of each other. Gabe drew in a deep breath then opened his eyes. Those hazel beauties seemed to soak up all of me. It was like he was taking a mental photograph, in case he never saw me again.

  “See you later,” he said.

  “See ya.”

  I left, and a piercing pain shot through my heart. It felt as if it had been ripped a bit at the edges. I put my hand on my chest and winced. I exhaled as the agony ended. If he didn’t show up on that bridge, I knew what was coming. It would become more than just a rip. I didn’t know if I’d survive the anguish of the rip tearing clean through my heart.

  Chapter 37

  Awaitress yelled back through the pickup window, “Amber, the last order you put up was wrong. I needed coleslaw, not green beans for a side.”

  Damn, that is the second time I did that to her!

  “Can I get that side of coleslaw? Make it a heaping one.”

  “You got it.” I quickly fetched the side dish and put it on the counter. “I’m so sorry. My head isn’t in the game right now.”

  “I can tell,” she snarled. She turned on her heels and promptly took it away.

  Wow! She doesn’t have to be such a bitch about it. I did apologize. All day, I had been distracted by flashbacks of Gabe’s shocked expression when I told him about the mob connection to the pub and my friends. Even though I struggled to do a good job at work, I couldn’t take more time off after just getting back from a vacation.

  Henry came halfway through the kitchen door. “Amber, a word,” he said. “Follow me.”

  I nodded and obeyed. She already told on me to Henry. What the hell? Can’t a girl have an off day around here? I went into Henry’s office. He shut the door.

  “The staff noticed that you’re distracted and can’t focus completely,” he said. “Not to sound like a hard-ass, but you can’t keep working this way tonight. We’re packed. Is there anything you need to tell me? If you don’t feel well, you can leave early.”

  “Yeah, there is actually a ton I have to tell you, but now isn’t the time. I’ll do better. I promise. Can we talk soon?” I pleaded with my eyes.

  “All right, how about we have a late breakfast tomorrow?”

  “Perfect. Can we meet at the diner on the corner by my place?” I asked.

  “Okay. Eleven thirty?”

  “Sure.”

  I started to open the door. Henry put his palm on it, forcing it closed. “Wait, we’re not done yet. Sit down.”

  I sat.

  Henry stood behind his desk. He leaned over and angled his chin down while looking up at me. “If you continue to get the orders mixed up, I’m afraid I’ll have to send you home.” His somber posture got my attention. “I don’t want to, but I can’t give you special treatment, either. Pull it together. You’re a supervisor now. You need to set a good example. Now, we’re done.”

  I walked out of his office. For the first time since I worked there, he acted like he was my boss first and a friend second. I shuffled my feet, hanging my head low, sulking until I remembered Henry’s words: “Pull it together.” That was exactly what I did.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  The next morning, Henry and I sat at the diner having pancakes. His were plain with syrup, while mine looked more like dessert than breakfast, with blueberries and whipped cream piled high. After I apologized for being out of it the night before and Henry said it was water under the bridge, I relaxed.

&
nbsp; “So, I do have an explanation as to why I couldn’t function quite right last night.” I sipped my coffee.

  “I figured as much.”

  “One of the reasons is because I recently saw my estranged father,” I explained. Henry choked on his bacon. “Sorry,” I said as his face flushed. “I should have let you finish chewing first.”

  He took a sip of coffee. “I can only imagine how awkward that must have been. How did that happen?”

  “I saw him trying to give an envelope, which I assumed had money in it, to my boyfriend.”

  “Wait.” He showed me the palm of his hand. “You have a boyfriend? I must be behind in keeping up with your life.”

  “You have no idea.” I paused as the waitress refilled our mugs. “His name is Gabe, and he’s the fireman that saved me.”

  “I approve already.” He grinned.

  “I did too, until I confronted my father about how he knew Gabe.” I added cream and sugar to my coffee. “I saw them talking in Central Park. Father admitted he was paying Gabe to check in on me and report back to him.”

  “What?” He shook his head.

  “My father saw Gabe carry me out of the fire at the pub, tracked him down, and offered to pay him to check on me. At first, Gabe did it, but then he fell in love with me and told Father that he wanted no part of it anymore.” I sighed. “And there’s more.”

  “More? Really?” He raised his eyebrows.

  “Yeah, turns out my father wasn’t an insurance agent. He was an undercover cop. My family never knew that, which turns out to be good and bad. It’s bad for obvious reasons, with the years of deception, but good because he has connections to some NYPD detectives working on a mob case. I think they’d be interested in any info you could tell them about the pub. My father stays at the Windordorf Hotel the first Monday of every month. You can leave him a message at the front desk, if you’d like to meet him there and tell him what you know. At least you have someone to go to now.”