Sean played her.
Well, in honesty, she supposed he’d been overly forthcoming. He’d made it known she was a distraction. She only wished she’d ignored her reluctance to pry and found out what she’d been diverting his attention from a little sooner. Like, maybe before she made a complete ass of herself.
“What’s going on, Melody?”
Sean’s lowered voice, and the use of her name, made her nostrils flare. He’d set her up for this embarrassment. First, he hadn’t known her name, now he’d been using her to get another woman out of his thoughts. The worst part was that everyone else seemed to have known except her.
“I’m leaving.” Her words were broken, barely heard over the heavy heartbeat echoing in her ears. She didn’t look up, didn’t even blink as she lowered her cell to her side and started for the doorway.
She held her breath as she traipsed past Sidney, then Mason, and raised her chin in defiance when her shoulder came close to barging right through Sean.
“What the hell is going on?” He grabbed her upper arm, pulling her to a stop.
Her back stiffened. She’d never, ever, in her entire life, been a naïve pushover. Until now. She’d been completely sucker punched. After starving herself from the attention she’d grown up with, his interest must have blocked her from the truth. They were in two entirely different places. She thought their connection had been based on more than lust. She’d stupidly thought he liked her for more than the perfect body he thought she had.
She was wrong. He’d been looking for someone to take his thoughts away from the woman who drove him to pass out at his best friend’s engagement party. He’d been so engrossed in his desire for another woman that he hadn’t even remembered Melody’s name. Oh, Christ. He’d even said Sidney’s name moments after they’d had sex in her studio.
With her chest constricting, she turned her face to meet Sean’s gaze and yanked her arm from his grasp. She glared at him, not sparing an ounce of pity at the haunted look in his gorgeous blue eyes as her lips trembled. “Tell me this thing between us hasn’t been a distraction for whatever the hell you’ve got going on with her.”
Sean’s grip loosened, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. His silence stabbed a knife through her chest.
“Just what I thought.” She raised her chin and strode for the front door. “I’m nobody’s god-damn distraction from another woman.”
Chapter Twenty
Sean watched his pixie leave, the anger building inside him, unrelenting, taking control. As soon as his front door slammed with her departure, he swiped the bowl of salad off the kitchen counter and threw the fucker as hard as he could against the plaster wall, sending vegetables scattering.
Sidney gasped. Ryan cleared his throat. And Mason approached, getting within swinging distance.
“Back the fuck off.” Sean pointed an aggressive finger at his friend.
“Christ.” Mason held up his hands. “Calm the fuck down.”
“Calm the fuck down?” he yelled. “I’ve just lost the one thing that’s been getting me through this fucked stage of my life, and you expect me to calm down? Go to hell, Mason.”
Sean clenched his fists and stormed down the hall, thankfully making it to his bedroom without thrusting his knuckles through the wall. He fucking liked her. The days away had given him a brilliant new perspective. He’d taken the time to decompress. Sidney wasn’t his obsession. She’d been his distraction. When the careers of his fellow bandmates were skyrocketing, he’d been stuck in the gutter searching for something to take his mind off what everyone else was achieving around him. His interest in his best friend’s fiancée wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Not when he now felt nothing at all for her apart from friendship.
The difference between Sidney and Red was that the attempt to distract himself with Sid had never worked. She’d never made him feel better. She’d never had the ability to take his thoughts away from the disappointment in his life. So he’d kept pushing, kept pinning his hopes on finding the moment when she would.
He didn’t need to push with Red. She made him happy with merely a smile or the blush of her alabaster skin. Even now, his failed career aspirations meant nothing in comparison to witnessing the justified hatred in her eyes before she walked from his penthouse.
“Sean.” Sidney’s soft voice drifted from the hall.
The last thing he needed right now was her—the woman who caused it all. “Fuck. Off.” He winced as soon as the words left his lips, and slumped on the bed. The more he thought about it, the more he despised the way Sidney and Mason treated him. They’d known his state of mind wasn’t stable, and still they’d continued to shove their happiness in his face.
It was bullshit.
It was disrespectful.
And just as reprehensible as how he’d treated his dancer goddess.
His door opened with a squeak, and Sidney peeked her head around the frame. “Can we talk?”
He ground his teeth together, entirely too close to saying something he knew he’d regret. “Leave me alone, Sid.”
She pushed the door wider and stepped into his room.
He glared at her, then broke the connection to hang his head. “I’m not in the mood to chat.”
“Then listen.” She sighed. “I’m sorry she left. It was my fault. I was the one who wanted to come today to make sure you were OK. You were quiet in New York. I was worried about you.”
“Why?” He pushed to his feet. “Why the hell do you even care? You never gave a shit about me when I was losing my mind over you. What changed? Did you figure out you enjoyed the attention?”
Fuck. He was an asshole. A motherfucking piece of shit.
“That’s not fair, Sean.” Her gaze softened, filling with pity he despised. “I still care for you. I always have. You’re like a brother to me.”
Sean released a bark of sardonic laughter. “A brother? A fucking brother? Jesus Christ, Sidney.” That comment would’ve stung if he was still neck-deep in obsession with her. It didn’t matter now. The only thing that did was the pain he’d put Melody through, especially when she already had so much to deal with.
“Why couldn’t you leave me alone to get over you? All this time you’ve made it harder. Dragging out the pain.” Things would’ve been different if they’d given him space. “Christ. You both knew how I felt.”
If only they’d left him alone. He would’ve had time to gain the perspective he’d just figured out. He would’ve been stronger. Then again, Mason might not have felt sorry enough for him to dedicate a music clip to the worthless Reckless Beat drummer, and Sean never would’ve met Melody.
He hung his head and closed his eyes, seeing the tortured expression of Red staring back at him.
“My infatuation with you was never a secret, yet you kept dragging me along. Smiling, laughing, fucking hugging me at every opportunity. You both drove me insane with the constant necessity to be a part of an engagement party I didn’t even want to show up to, let alone say a fucking speech. The two of you drove me deeper into the shit fight I was facing.” He opened his eyes, ignoring the way she hugged herself.
“I’m sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway.” He glared at her, hating how useless he’d been in the face of loving her. “I don’t feel that way toward you anymore.”
Melody may have started as a distraction, but she was far from it now. She’d become a part of his life he didn’t want to lose. She’d morphed from a fleeting interest into a building fascination he didn’t want to let go of.
“I-I’m glad.” Sidney’s throat convulsed, hitting him like a blow to the gut. “It was never my intention to make this harder for you.”
“Mine either,” Mason added from the doorway. “Here I was thinking I was helping you out by keeping you involved.” He stepped into the room, his face set in a scowl. “I’ll meet you in the car, kitten.”
Sidney nodded and gave Sean a sorrow filled glance before hastening from the room. Fuck. Just wha
t he needed—Sidney upset and Mason puffing out his chest to defend her honor.
“Save it,” Sean muttered. “I’ll apologize when I’m good and ready.”
Mason shrugged.
“Don’t push me, Mason. If you’re looking for a fight, you’ll get one.” He was pumped, the blood in his veins filled with adrenaline he couldn’t control. He wanted to smash something. Anything. And Mason’s pretty face seemed like a prime target.
“I didn’t say a word, asshole.”
“Then what?” Sean spread his arms in exasperation. “Why the fuck are you standin’ there?”
Mason inhaled deeply and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m tryin’ to figure out how to apologize without sounding like a pussy.”
Sean scowled. “What?”
“You heard me.” Mason stepped forward, leaving them a few feet apart. “How the hell can I blame you for the way you’ve acted, when our positions could’ve easily been reversed?”
“That’s just it.” Sean huffed out a breath, releasing some of his anger with it. “Our positions never would’ve changed. Sidney never loved me. And to be honest, I now know I never loved her either. I was just fucked up about other things.”
Mason frowned. “Other things?”
“You know.” Pointing out his failures wasn’t something he enjoyed. “My career has stalled. I was sick of watching the rest of the band swarmed with interview requests and promo gigs. I’ve got nothing. Even the smothering stench of all the lovey dovey shit was choking me.”
“Then get a fucking agent and start promoting yourself outside of the normal Reckless gigs. Mitch does. And Blake did, too, before he lost his balls to Gabi.” Mason sauntered to the bed and sat on the mattress. “And if you’re lookin’ to get laid, why haven’t you gone after your girl? You should’ve chased her. Believe me, they get angrier if they have time to stew on shit.”
Sean shook his head. He hadn’t gone after Red at the time because he’d been too shocked to know what to do. He still didn’t have a clue. “I blindsided her. The first night we met, at your engagement party, I openly told her she was the perfect distraction.”
He ignored Mason’s cringe and rubbed the bridge of his nose, willing the dull throb of his impending headache to go away. “She never hassled me to explain. I think she has enough secrets of her own to understand why I didn’t elaborate. So I never exactly told her what she’d been a distraction from. It’s my fault for humiliating her like this. I deserve whatever I get. I just have no idea how to fix it.”
Mason leaned toward him and punched Sean hard in the thigh. “Dumb fucker. You start on your knees and don’t quit begging until she takes you back.”
Sean released a weak breath of laughter. He would. He’d grovel and explain to her exactly how he felt, but he already knew it wouldn’t help. Melody was a smart woman and no matter how he explained the situation, he’d used her. Plain and simple. It didn’t matter that he’d fallen hard for her in the process. He’d still sought her out the day after the engagement party to keep his mind occupied. He’d intentionally gone to bed with her that first night with the aim of keeping his thoughts off another woman.
No matter what she meant to him, or how badly he felt for hurting her, nothing he said would fix what he’d broken. He’d give her space and the time to gain perspective. At least until tomorrow when he had to crawl back to rehearsals.
“I’ll give her space for a while.” Reluctantly, he strode for the door, knowing he needed to clean the mess in his kitchen before he could use sleep as an excuse to be alone.
Mason peered up at him from the bed through a frame of wavy blond hair. “Man, I’m telling ya, giving her more time to build up her ammunition is the wrong thing to do. Women are fucking brutal when it comes to these types of things.”
Sean shrugged. “So be it.”
He deserved whatever she threw at him. He’d take her humiliation and distrust. There was no way he’d deny what he’d done was wrong. If the tables were turned, he’d be livid as hell. Jealous as fuck, too. So he’d give her time to build her armament and face it head on.
Chapter Twenty-One
Melody was a jackass. A used and humiliated jackass who should’ve known better. From the moment they met, Sean had been too good to be true. He’d pulled her from her newly formed shell of isolation and given her a tiny glimmer of hope for the future. If only she’d asked, just once, about being his distraction.
She’d been too caught up in the need to escape her own self-loathing, that she’d ignored all the warning signs. The many, many warning signs.
She’d made assumptions, not wanting to dig deeper into Sean’s life and risk breaking their connection, and the great way he made her feel. Now, she couldn’t hide from her stupidity. She’d been a god-damn distraction from another woman. How pathetic.
She’d never been this low before, not from the actions of a man. Apart from her dancing career, her sexuality had been her strongest asset. Men didn’t faze her. She’d never been attached enough to have a broken heart. Not even with her ex, Simon.
So how could she have ignored the signs? Sean had been an intoxicated wreck at the engagement party, for Christ's sake. It all began to make sense. Mason wanted to focus Sean’s attention away from the approaching wedding, while still keeping his best friend in the loop. Insert Melody and her dance rehearsals. And what about the woman performing in the music clip? Was Sasha a back-up distraction? Maybe a second option once Sean became bored fooling around with the scarred choreographer and wanted to move on to something better.
She gunned the engine and sped from the parking lot, not giving a shit that her tires squealed. For what felt like hours, she blindly drove, paying attention, yet not really noticing where she was going or what she was doing as she navigated streets and intersections, finally pulling to a stop in a suburban driveway.
Numb to the world around her, she stared blankly at her dash, wincing at how humiliating it would be at their next rehearsal. She wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye. Having to touch his perfect body would piss her off. And they still had a lot of work to do before his dance moves were fluid and ingrained into his memory.
“Melly?”
Fuck. She squealed and flung her body around in the seat to find her sister standing on the other side of the door in black summer pajamas. A relieved breath left her lungs, and her heart gradually descended from her throat as Blair motioned for her to lower the window.
The thought of recapping tonight’s degrading events made her stomach churn. If she thought Blair would’ve let her get away with gunning the engine and fleeing the scene, she would’ve done so.
“Mel, open the door.” Her sister worked the handle, tugging in a constant racket until there was no choice but to unlock the damn thing. “I assume by your lethal stare that dinner didn’t go well.”
“Understatement.” She cringed at the flashbacks bombarding her mind. “I’m such an idiot.”
“Come on.” Her sister held out a hand. “I’ll make us some coffee, and you can tell me all about it.”
“Coffee isn’t going to be strong enough.”
Blair raised a brow, and leaned forward to pull the keys from the ignition. “That bad, huh?”
“Worse.” She slid from her seat and let her sister slam the door shut.
“What the hell did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything.” Well, not really. They walked side by side to the front door, while she tried to figure out the best way to explain what happened with the least amount of shame.
“Ouch.” Blair held open the door with a wince. “Then what did your man do?”
Everything and nothing.
She had no intention of going into detail. Her entire life had been spent on the outskirts of drama. Dancers were always bitching about their allocated positions or their routine. Partners would cheat, and scandals would erupt. She tried to stay out of it. Gossip only took your mind off the prize and her ability to stay focus
ed had kept her at the top of her field.
“I misjudged what was going on between me and Sean.” She also wasn’t the type to weigh others down with her problems, but the words began to tumble from her lips with no control to stop them. “It’s this whole big, messed up situation where I’m not just a third wheel, I’m the fourth.”
As they walked to the kitchen at the rear of the house, she spilled her guts. From the engagement party, to dinner tonight, she poured her heart out, uncharacteristically holding nothing back.
“He used me. How the heck am I meant to help him with the music clip now?” She slumped onto a kitchen stool and placed her elbows on the counter. “As if being a quick thrill wasn’t bad enough, I’m not even comparable to this Sidney woman.”
Blair flicked on the coffee machine and pulled two mugs from the cupboard underneath. “OK, hold up. For starters, when did this become a relationship?”
Melody opened her lips to reply, then closed them again. Crap. Her sister was right, this thing with Sean had never been defined as anything other than sex. They never agreed to be exclusive. Hell, they didn’t even discuss their time together being anything apart from fun between consenting adults.
“I guess it didn’t.” She winced and cupped her head in her hands to cover her heating cheeks.
“And you fell for him anyway.”
She let out a groan and nodded through the moment of clarity. This wasn’t Sean’s fault. It was hers. She needed to realize she wasn’t the old Melody, the one who had every male—and sometimes female—member of her dance crew begging to share her bed. Her success had fled, her body wasn’t the dream it used to be. She’d become overexcited about the glimpse of male attention that she’d let reality slip through her fingers.
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