She continued forward, her feet carrying her to the edge of the crowd before she could contemplate the need to leave. It was stupid of her to think Ryan’s invitation meant a quiet breakfast set for two. Instead, she’d been dragged into a publicity stunt, shoving what she couldn’t have right in her face.
“Kiss her,” a man shouted, raising his camera. “Give us something to put on the front page.”
Her chest restricted as Ryan and Felicity chuckled. Hannah didn’t hold their enthusiasm, but she stood tall, her smile waning. More calls erupted. A chant formed. “Kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her.”
Panic seeped into Ryan’s eyes, the same way Leah could feel it seep into hers. Felicity turned into him and blinked up at the man destined to place his mouth over hers.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Leah dropped her head, unable to witness the carnage. Shit. She’d gone over this in her mind. Over and over. The kiss was inevitable. A forgone conclusion. The dedicated fans would take the relationship on face value. The highly intuitive would never believe. But those in the middle, the ones sitting on the fence, would need this push to send them into fanatic territory.
“Leah?”
Her chest restricted at his guttural call. She licked the dryness from her lips, pasted on a grin, and lifted her gaze to witness relief wash over him. He told her a myriad of messages in that look. She could see his pain, his guilt, and he hadn’t even kissed the other woman yet.
“Have breakfast with us.” His arm remained around Felicity, their bodies close.
The crowd parted, the vultures turning to capture her indecision with the snap, snap, snap of their cameras.
“No.” She smiled, the expression awkward. “I only came to get a coffee to go.”
“Don’t be such a suit.” This came from Hannah, her sure stride gliding forward. “Stay and have breakfast with us.” She stopped at Leah’s side and leaned in close. “We can get through this together.”
Leah chuckled, pretending the whispered words in her ear were a sordid secret instead of mimicked heartache. “OK. But only for a few minutes.”
The paparazzi repositioned their cameras, the click, click, click moving back to the happy couple. Questions were shouted as the four of them made their way inside, the non-stop flash following them to the counter manned by a wide-eyed waitress.
“Let the girls organize the seats.” Ryan murmured over her shoulder. “I need to speak to you.”
She frowned at the hand he placed on her arm and the assumptions it would bring from the people gawking at them. “Can’t it wait?”
“No.” He led her forward, his attention straying to the waitress. “We’ve got band issues we need to discuss. Do you have anywhere private we could talk?”
The young blonde looked between them, her words taking seconds to come out. “There’s the bathrooms… Or the storage room, but staff will be coming in and out. Otherwise, there’s only the covered parking lot out back. It’s not entirely private but it’s fenced in and you can’t access it from the front of the building.”
“Can you show us where it is?”
“No problem.” The woman walked out from behind the counter, rubbing her hands on the apron tied around her waist.
“Are you sure this isn’t something that can wait?” Leah slid her arm from his grip, well aware that even the kitchen staff were watching them.
“All I want is five minutes.”
And all she wanted was to maintain a charade that was now harder to manage after witnessing his lips so close to another woman.
“Please,” he added.
The fight left her shoulders and she sighed with defeat. Denying him was impossible, even when her career was in the firing line. She walked by him, following the waitress through a swinging staff-only entry into an empty hall.
“It’s through here.” The woman unlocked the deadbolt to the back door, exposing a carport filled with shaded vehicles. “You’ll have to knock to get back in.”
Leah nodded as she passed, descending the two steps to the asphalt.
“Thank you.” Ryan followed behind, his voice still capable of sending a shiver along her spine. “We won’t be long.”
The door closed behind them, the clunk of the lock settling back into place.
“What’s this about?”
He took the stairs in a lazy stride, his demeanor changing with each blink of her eyes. His anxiety faded, calculation taking its place.
“Ryan?”
His focus was on her lips, his teeth sinking into his own. “What, gorgeous?”
The compliment inspired goosebumps. It inspired a whole lot of unconscious bodily reactions. Focus. “Why are we alone in a parking lot?”
“For this.” His hands found her cheeks, his mouth stole her breath.
She could’ve laughed with the predictability, but she didn’t. Instead, she drowned in the taste of him, her lips brushing softly over his in a dance of affection. She didn’t resist. Couldn’t fight the instantaneous burn. She plastered herself against him, grasping what she’d gone without for days.
Like always, the world faded. Sense eluded her and nothing else mattered except for the anticipation of another press of his mouth against hers.
“I missed you,” he murmured between kisses. “I didn’t think you were going to come this morning.”
“Is that why you started making a move on Felicity?” She winced as soon as the words hit her ears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
“It’s justified.” He stepped back, making her hollow. “I was hoping to get this bullshit with Felicity over and done with so it would stop eating me from the inside out.”
“Don’t explain. I could see how awful it was for you.”
He turned from her, his hands in his hair, his head bowed. “It’s even worse now that I know you were there. I feel like my asshole status has surpassed Mason’s.”
She chuckled, hoping to ease the tension. “That could never happen.”
“Really?” He faced her, pinning her with his guilt. “Because I don’t think he would ever sign up for the crap I’m putting you through.”
“Hold up.” She raised a hand. “I wasn’t a blip on your radar when you signed up to help Blake out. And that’s exactly what this is—you helping Blake…and the rest of the guys so there’s no additional tour dates. This has nothing to do with me.”
He looked up from under light lashes, his brow raised in disbelief. “You think you weren’t a blip? Jesus, Leah, you’ve always been on my radar. If you only knew for how long, maybe you wouldn’t consider me the great guy everyone keeps referring to. This has been going on well before my divorce was in play.”
“You need to forget about me for a while and focus on why you’re—”
“There’s no way I could forget. Hell, I’d do anything just to get away from the jealousy, but it’s impossible to ignore how I feel for you. Not until the end of the tour.” He stepped forward. “Not for a week.” He dragged her back into his arms. “Not even a day.”
She stared up at him. “Why are you jealous? Is this about Drew? Seriously, you don’t need to worry about him. Apparently, during my intoxicated binge, he decided he didn’t want to go through my bag, so he shoved one of his shirts into my hands and pushed me into the bus bathroom to get changed. I dressed myse—”
“I’m not talking about Drew.” His features scrunched. “Although, I’m damn relieved to hear it.”
“Then why?” She placed her hands on his chest. “What’s going on?”
He hit her with a sad smile, his gaze lowering, no longer meeting hers. His touch encased her wrist and he lifted her right hand between them.
“This.”
He spread her fingers apart and she followed his focus to the tattoo exposed on the inside of her middle finger—three tiny black birds with outstretched wings.
“Do you think I’m not jealous of this?” His anguish hit her as their eyes met. “Do you think I haven’t heard the stories ab
out you and that guy in Vegas?” He dropped his hold and ran a weary hand over his beard. “He’s all over your body, Leah. He’s pierced you. Marked your skin. How can I not be jealous as hell over that?”
She closed her gaping mouth and swallowed. “I didn’t think you—”
“Realized? Oh, I fucking realized. I heard the stories the weekend of Mitch’s bachelor party. And when you took off after I kissed you, I knew you went to him. I could feel it.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Then you came back with his ink under your skin. The permanent reminder haunts me every damn time I look at you. And it’s all because of my mistakes.”
“No.” She shook her head. “They’re my mistakes. I was the one who couldn’t handle the situation professionally. I failed. I could’ve stopped you from kissing me.”
“Maybe.” He gave a harsh chuckle. “But there was no way you were leaving that room without me making a fool of myself. That kiss was the only thing distracting me from opening my big mouth and telling you how I felt. Either way, I know you would’ve ended up running.”
“I’m sorry.” There was nothing left to say. Logan was a great guy, but he meant nothing to her. He’d been her catharsis during life’s darkest days. He’d been the needed distraction. And she’d made sure the heavily inked tattooist knew their connection was only physical.
“Don’t be fucking sorry. We’ve both made enough apologies.” He got in her face, his growl throaty. “All I want is for you to realize I will never hurt you. I can promise you that.”
He warmed her, from the inside out. With his words. With his touch. With the hint of vulnerability in his tone that convinced her wholeheartedly of his sincerity. “I believe you.”
“Good.” His grin returned. “Because this wasn’t what I came out here for.” He cupped the back of her head, his forehead pressed to hers. “I missed you like hell.”
She shuddered and closed her eyes. There was a reason why they shouldn’t be doing this. But moving away wasn’t an option her body or mind was willing to take. She wrapped her free hand around his neck and entwined their fingers with the other.
She’d thought she’d known this man, had believed all his secrets were hers. In reality, she didn’t know the half of it. All those things she’d loved were far bigger, exponentially deeper. The reasons she’d fallen for him were now tenfold, and he’d already been irresistible.
“We should get back inside.” She nuzzled into him, her nose brushing his as she closed her eyes. He smelled so good. Clean. Masculine. She sucked the scent deep into her lungs and released a tiny whimper with the need to exhale. “After one more kiss,” she whispered, tilting her mouth over his.
She didn’t hear his chuckle, but she felt it in the vibration of his chest, the renewed happiness ebbing from him to sink into her heart. His soft lips coaxed the connection to a new level, sweet and innocent turning into demand and hunger with deft flicks of his tongue. He loomed over her, his large frame backing her into the closest car, her ass sinking against the cool metal.
His erection nudged her pubic bone, causing another whimper. She was struggling to fight the need to strip him bare and have him right here in the parking lot. It wouldn’t take long. Her pussy was already slick and ready to take him. The need for penetration may not even be necessary. The mere grind of his pelvis made her clit throb.
“If we don’t leave soon,” he panted, “I won’t stop at a kiss.”
“Then we should go…” It was hard to breathe, even harder to justify why this shouldn’t go further. “But…”
He pulled his lips away, his gleaming eyes all she could see. “You want to keep going?” His hand seared her thigh, his fingers clawing higher, lifting her skirt with every inch.
Yes, she wanted to keep going. Yes, she needed to feel him inside her. Yes, oh yes, she ached for the orgasm already threateningly close. But…
She palmed his face, the prepared whisper of affirmation fading as self-preservation kicked in. “Tomorrow.”
It was a promise, one that was denied with the firm shake of his head. “That’s too far away.”
“I’ll make it worthwhile.”
“Give me more than a day and I’ll agree.” He opened his eyes. “Give me the two days we have off between Kansas City and Tulsa. We can get some alone time while the rest of the guys are heading home. It’ll be just the two of us.”
“Tempting,” she purred.
His hand climbed higher, reaching her panties. She gasped with the hard clench of her pussy and struggled to focus.
“Do we have a deal?”
One day she needed to learn a strategy to deny him. But today wasn’t that day. “Yes.” She nodded. “We have a deal.”
He grinned, placing one last kiss on her lips before he lowered her panties in a flourish.
“What—”
“A souvenir,” he explained, raising the material to hang between them. “Something to keep me company until I see you later tonight.”
She pushed from the car. “And where’s my souvenir?”
His grin turned to a smirk as he leaned back into her, the hardness of his shaft pressing against her. “This will have to do for now.” His kiss curled her toes, the delicate sweep of his tongue along her lower lip in vast contrast to the high octane sex she was craving.
He left her in a mind-fog, so numb to anything other than pleasure that he had to tug her off the car to get her moving. They strode to the café’s back door together, the tap of his knuckles nudging her professional mindset back into place.
“I’m not going to stay for breakfast.” Seeing him with Felicity earlier was bad enough. She didn’t want to have to witness their charade again on the way out. “I’ll get a coffee and leave.”
“I can’t convince you to stay?”
“I don’t want you to.”
“You sure? I feel like we should be celebrating or something.”
She snorted. “Celebrating?”
“It isn’t a regular occurrence for me to almost make love in a parking lot.”
She adored how he described it as love. Not sex. Not fucking. “Julie didn’t enjoy spontaneity?”
“Julie didn’t like much of anything.” He gave a sad smile. “Suffice to say, I’ve never had any sort of sexual experience anywhere other than our home or a hotel room for years.”
“Bullshit.” The denial came on an exhaled breath. “I don’t believe it.”
He reached over his shoulder and knocked louder on the door. “The lack of intimacy was never a warning sign because I had no previous conquests to compare our relationship to. Men always complain about a lack of sex, so I thought we were normal.”
“Not wanting to have sex with you every second of every day isn’t normal.” She grinned. “In fact, it’s damn crazy.”
“Clearly.” His lips curved. “I know that now.”
The sound of footsteps approached from inside, her heart hammering with the upcoming conclusion to their conversation. She wanted to smash his sexual to-do list, signing her name against each sordid achievement. “What else haven’t you done? I want to know it all. I want to do it all.”
He leaned close, his lips brushing her ear as the loud clunk of the lock released. “I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you.”
Chapter Sixteen
Ryan stared into the rolling sea of people before him, the swinging overhead lights momentarily alighting parts of the moshing crowd. This is what he lived for—touring, music, inspiration—and yet the only sight he could see was Leah’s image in his mind.
The two days apart had been a painful limbo. No matter how many times they messaged or spoke on the phone, he still couldn’t convince himself she was in this for the long haul. He’d been on edge. Stressed. Annoyed. The usual banter from his friends had poked at his last nerve until he thought he’d snap. Then he’d seen her again. He’d kissed her. He’d almost taken her against a car in a café parking lot. And now he was on the other side of the spectrum. Thrumming. Adrena
line-filled. Pumped.
His final words at the café had made her blush. Those flawless cheeks had turned pink, her kiss-darkened lips had parted, and those gorgeous eyes widened. It was seconds of pure heaven before the waitress opened the door and stole the moment.
Now he was back to the emotional rollercoaster. Had he said too much, too soon? Was his time with Felicity likely to ruin his chances? Should he have taken her underwear out of his pocket before walking on stage? The damn material was burning a hole through his pants, the warmth sinking straight into his dick.
He was lucky the set list came naturally, otherwise Mason wouldn’t think twice about shoving him into the waiting arms of a cannibalistic crowd. The woman was driving him crazy. Literally. He was analyzing everything like a love-drunk fool. Especially her last cryptic text message—I’ll be making an appearance during the show. Play along.
He didn’t know what the last sentence meant. Or the first for that matter. She didn’t make a habit of watching their shows, and she certainly didn’t stand side-stage…although the thought of her hiding in the wings made blood surge to inappropriate places that shouldn’t be active while in front of an audience of thousands.
“…Kiss goodbye to your heart, sunshine. It’s time to make you mine,” Mason sang the closing line to the third last song in their set, making the sea before them erupt. Usually Sean would fall into the fast tempo beat of their next song, but instead Mason sliced a hand across his throat, indicating for them to hold up as he turned back to face the crowd.
“How you feeling, Chicago? Enjoying the show?”
The usual cacophony of noise responded—screams, whistles, cries, the offers of first-born children.
“We’re about to end the night with one of my favorite songs—” boos erupted “—but before we do that, I wanted to thank all those who helped our band manager with a special surprise tonight.”
Ryan’s stomach twisted. It didn’t take much these days to wring him dry.
“Have you met the smokin’ hot Leah Gorman yet?” Mason glanced side-stage and held out an arm for the flawless woman approaching with a huge wrapped box in her arms. “Come out here, boss lady.”
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