Nick held up a finger. “One sec.�
Cat followed him. “No, don’t play it. Please don’t play it, Nick.�
“Too late,� he called from the booth.
Cat stood with her hands over her face as the sound of guitars came over the sound system. Nick’s vocals kicked in first. It was definitely a song he had written. I could tell by the style. Then Cat’s voice came in. We all stood open-mouthed. She was amazing. Talk about a multi-talented woman.
Den stepped forward and put his arm around Cat’s shoulders. “Cat, seriously, love. You can sing on our albums any time. With a voice like that we may just kick Nick out. How are you fixed for a stint on the road with a crew of smelly men?� We all laughed and Nick folded his arms over his chest in a mock sulk.
Cat gazed back at Nick. “Only if I can bring Nick along.�
“Bloody hell. Someone pass me a bucket, will you?� Den winked and laughed.
Once the track had finished, we all applauded and Den talked about how we should at least get her up on stage at some shows to perform that particular track. Cat tried to put him off but she didn’t realise how Den worked. He would make it happen.
Afterwards, we all chatted about how the sound quality was on a par with—if not better than—some of the studios we had worked in. The whole band agreed that we should record the next album at Rockhill.
Nick clapped his hands together. “Right, guys, I think you should all bugger off and leave me to have some time with Cat. No doubt you’re all knackered, anyway. Oh, but Si, can you give me a hand taking some stuff up in the lift, mate? There’s a leather chair that Cat’s decided needs to go upstairs. If you can take that up while I close up down here that’d be great.
Chris nudged me. “Is that because he’s the muscle of the band rather than the brains?�
I jibed back, “Well, you’re definitely not the brains of the outfit, Malham.� Everyone pointed and laughed at Chris as he turned beet red. I looked back to Nick and nodded, happy to help. “Sure, no problem. Which chair is it?�
The other guys wandered back towards the staircase and Nick pointed me to the chair he wanted me to take. I managed to manoeuvre it into my arms and he pressed the call button on the lift. The door opened right away and I backed inside.
“See you up there, mate. Cheers for your help.� Nick closed the door.
The lift started to move and I placed the chair down.
When I glanced up again, my heart almost stopped. “Jeez, fuck!�
I wasn’t alone.
“Hello, Si.�
With wide eyes and a racing heart, I asked, “What the hell are you doing here, Allie?�
Chapter 45
Si
*
The lift juddered to a halt and I waited for the door to open but it didn’t. I turned to glance at the panel and the lights were flicking between two floor numbers.
“What the fuck?� I didn’t know what to deal with first. The fact that Allie was in the lift with me or the fact that the lift was bloody stuck.
Allie stepped towards me. “I… I thought we should talk. Want to sit down?� She gestured to the chair I was supposed to be moving upstairs.
I crumpled my brow and rested my hands on my hips. “Hang on. Is this a set up?�
Allie shook her head. “Me being here? Yes, a little bit. The lift being stuck? Not that I know of, but you know what the guys are like for pranking.�
I ran my hands back through my hair. “I’ll call someone.� I grabbed the handset that was fixed to the wall.
Before I could speak, Nick’s voice was heard. “Hello? Si? Sorry, mate. We’re on the case. Not sure what’s going on but we’ll get you out as soon as we can. Sit tight and don’t worry.�
I clenched my other fist. “Nick, I swear to God, I’ll—� The line went dead. He had hung up on me. Shit head.
I looked back to Allie and she was trying hard not to laugh. That got me rattled. “What’s so funny?�
She shrugged. “There’s nothing like a captive audience, eh?�
I huffed, pissed off that a) I was stuck in a confined space with Allie with no escape and b) I was going to have to talk to her about shit I no doubt wanted to avoid.
Clenching my jaw, I told her, “If you wanted to talk, you could’ve just phoned me.�
“I felt that what I needed to talk to you about was better said face to face.�
I leaned against the wall and slid down it until my arse hit the floor. “We’ve been over it all, Allie. We’re both on different pages. I get it. Can’t we just leave it at that?� I rested my head in my hands and my elbows on my knees.
She came and sat beside me on the floor of the lift. “I heard someone stomped on your heart again.�
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, great. Who told you about Bobbie?�
“I spoke to Nick. I can’t believe she did something like that to you. I’m so sorry.�
I shrugged. “Yeah, well it appears I have ‘emotional punch bag’ on my head and it’s only visible to women.�
She sighed. “I guess I deserve that.�
Guilt twisted my stomach. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I’m tired after a long day of travelling and I’m not really in the mood to rehash my errors in judgement.�
Sadness clouded her eyes. “Is that how you see me? An error in judgement?�
I tilted my head and stared at the ceiling. “Ugh. No, I just… I don’t want to do this, Allie. Not now and certainly not when we’re stuck in a fucking lift.�
She was sodding persistent. “Si, I have stuff I need to say to you. Can you just give me a chance?�
I fixed her with a stern glare. “I think you said everything you needed to say to me last time I saw you, don’t you? I got it. Believe me. And I understand. It’s like I said before, I’m not Joe and I can’t take his place in your heart. I heard you loud and clear. Can’t we just leave it at that?�
She pleaded at me with her beautiful, emotion-filled eyes. “Just hear me out, okay?� I shrugged like a petulant teenager and wished the lift would just move so I could go hide in my bedroom. But alas, it didn’t, and she continued talking. “That first time we had sex, that’s all it was. It was all I wanted. To feel desired again. To be close to someone again. But in the cold light of day, I realised I had made a mistake. I had tried to substitute you for Joe and I had taken advantage of your grief. We were both struggling and I should have comforted you, not seduced you. My guilt over that was immense, Si.�
“Well, it takes two and all that. I don’t remember you forcing yourself on me.�
“Let me finish, please?� I gestured for her to carry on but could no longer look her in the eye. “Seeing your tattoo just brought me to Earth with a thud. You loved your brother so, so much. And I felt like I had sullied that out of pure selfishness. That was why I was so upset. It wasn’t anything you had done wrong. It was all on me. Do you understand what I mean?�
“I get you, but like I said, we were both there, Allie. It wasn’t just you. I took the guilt about my feelings for you around with me for years before that. I had no clue Joe knew how I felt. Once I knew that, I felt like such a bastard. He loved me regardless of the fact that I loved you. And then I went and broke the promise I’d made to myself. I swore I would never do anything about my feelings for you because you were Joe’s. Not mine. And what the hell would people think of me if they knew what we had done?�
“I had that same worry. That’s why I couldn’t deal with it. And then when I found out that you loved me, that back then you didn’t just have a crush on me, I felt so much worse. Like I had not only betrayed Joe, but that I’d somehow betrayed you too.�
A heavy silence fell between us for a few moments until I broke it. “You know, Den and Roger got married at Gretna Green, and when we were there, I went to look at the old blacksmiths shop museum. Did you know that people would travel for miles just to get married there? They would run away to marry their true love, regardless of what anyone thought. Regardless of people’s objections and the trouble it might cause. It amazed me that people could love each other so deeply that they would fight to be together no matter what. And it struck me then that I want that. I don’t want to be worried what people think of me. If I love someone, I want to be able to shout it from the rooftops, not stay behind closed doors out of sight. I want to be as determined and reckless as those people who elope just so they can be with the one they love. Because at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Being together. Being with that one person you know can make you happy. Don’t you think?�
I glanced at Allie and she had tears trickling a path down her pink cheeks. “I totally agree.�
I swallowed hard, trying to keep my own emotions at bay. “So, no more apologies, okay? No more going over old ground. We were just never meant to be.�
Her lip trembled. “Is that how you really feel? That we were not meant to be?�
I reached up and wiped the tears from her cheek. “I don’t have to like it, but I guess I do have to accept it.�
She grabbed my hand. “But… does that mean you’re over me?�
I smiled as sadness weighed me down and my throat tightened. “I didn’t say that. But I will try to get over you. I promise.�
“What if I don’t want you to?�
I frowned and my heart flipped. “What if you don’t want me to what?�
“Get over me.�
I shook my head. “But that’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To draw a line under it all so we can put it behind us.�
She shook her head as more tears came. “Si, I do want to draw a line under my mistakes. But… but you’re not one of them. I want our fresh start to begin now.�
I scrambled up to my knees, my heart racing and my head buzzing. “Allie, what are you saying? I don’t know what you’re saying. What are you saying?�
As I rambled like an idiot, she laughed through her tears. “I’m saying I fell in love with you back in Yorkshire. The day you rescued me from the paparazzi. You were so selfless, and I didn’t want to admit my feelings because I was terrified about what people would think. You’re my dead fiancé’s brother and I’m not supposed to feel that way. But then I spoke to your mum and dad and they were so lovely. They made me realise that love is love, and so long as we hurt no one, we should just be together. So, I want to be like those people you read about at the museum. I want to take risks and be out in the open. With you. And you’re not in his place Si. You’re in your own. And that place is in my heart and my head. I love you. I’m in love with you, Si. So, if you still want me… I’m yours.�
I opened and closed my mouth but words wouldn’t come. Was this all a dream? Had I imagined it all? I stared at her, realising all over again just how beautiful she was. Just how much of my heart she occupied, but I couldn’t move. If it was a dream, I wanted to hold on for just a little while longer.
She raised herself up to her knees until her face was level with mine and cupped my damp cheek. “Say something. Please, Si.�
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I just… I thought for a bizarre moment you just told me you love me and I’m trying to get my head around—�
Before I could finish my sentence, she crushed her mouth to mine in a soul searing kiss, and I swear the ground moved. A loud cheer erupted from somewhere over my shoulder and Allie and I turned to see the band, Den, and Cat standing outside the open doors, clapping. There wasn’t a dry eye amongst them.
I looked back to Allie and smoothed my thumb across her cheek, gazing into her eyes and knowing deep down that I would be kissing those lips as often as possible from that moment.
Nick stepped towards us and hugged us both. “Guys, there’s a little surprise for you both in Si’s room.�
I puffed the air from my lungs. “Another one?�
He laughed. “Yeah, maybe not such a big one this time, but… you deserve some alone time.�
I grabbed Allie by the hand and took off at speed towards my room with her giggling behind me. It was the best sound I had ever heard.
I opened the door and we stepped inside. Allie gasped. “They did all this for us?�
My face ached from all the smiling but I didn’t care. Fresh flowers had appeared on every surface and candles were dotted around the room. The thick drapes were drawn, closing out the daylight and creating the most romantic atmosphere. It was better than any hotel I had ever stayed in.
I turned to Allie and slipped my hands into her hair. “Is this real?�
She smiled and smoothed her hands up my chest. “I hope so. Because if it’s a dream, I’m never waking up.�
I glanced over to the nightstand and spotted a mini speaker attached to my iPod. Nick really had thought of everything. I walked over and flicked through the track lists I had created over the years until I found the one simply titled “Allie�. It was a track list I had never expected to play again. It was the track list of every single song that reminded me of her. Songs I never dared listen to again after the first time I heard them. Yet there I was, about to hit play.
Allie walked over to join me and encircled me in her arms, resting her cheek against my back. “We’ve waited for this for so long, haven’t we?�
We… we’ve waited. Those simple words sent my heart soaring. This was what we both wanted.
Bon Jovi’s “Always� began to play and I turned around to face her once again. “We have. So, let’s make the most of it.�
I leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were soft and her kiss filled with a restrained passion, so I slipped my tongue along the line of her lips and she parted them for me. The feel of her mouth on mine sent shivers darting like sparks throughout my body as Jon Bon Jovi sang about forever. And that was what I wanted with Allie.
Forever.
She pulled me back to the bed and began to undress. I watched, mesmerised by her slow and sensual movements, her eyes fixed constantly on me. Once she was naked before me, I dragged the clothes from my body and joined her on the bed where I took her in my arms again, caressing every inch and kissing every place I touched. I rolled her beneath me and sank myself deep inside my love and her back arched as she sighed and trailed her fingertips down my back. I watched as she moved with me, her hooded gaze taking everything in too. She was finally mine and I was where I had wanted to be for so long. Bending to take her sensitive flesh in my mouth, I revelled in the erotic noises she made and knew she was close to her release. Reconnecting with her gaze once more, I watched again as she breathed deeper, grasping for me in desperation, and I took her mouth one last time as she cried out, her ecstasy triggering my own.
Everything was different now. Everything felt right. Making love to her that time really was making love. And I wanted to stay there in that bed for as long as possible, never breaking that spell.
As we lay in each other’s arms later that night, Allie smiled up at me and said those words I would never tire of hearing, “I love you, S
i Delaney.�
I shook my head, unable to believe what was happening between us, but with a heart bursting because it was happening. “And I love you, Allie Kendry. Always have… always will.�
Epilogue
Si
*
I have no bloody clue what all this secrecy is about. I’m sitting here in the car with a blindfold on and it’s a sweltering June day. Allie left me here and went back into the cottage. She’s been gone a while and I’m hoping she doesn’t take too much longer or I might expire from the heat. She was very firm about the fact that I can’t take the blindfold off until we arrive at wherever the hell we’re going. She’s given me my iPod and told me I must not, under any circumstances, remove the ear buds until she indicates that I can. She hasn’t told me how long I’ll be sitting like this and I’ve learned not to bother asking as she just gives me that sexy, pissed off look.
She squeezes my leg and then I feel the car engine start and we take off. I’m listening to the track list she’s created just for me and I’m sure I look like a blindfolded idiot, sitting here with a huge, excited grin on my face as “You and Me� by Alice Cooper filters into my brain. God, she’s such a bloody romantic. But that’s absolutely why I love her. It’s my birthday today and I know she’s got something special planned, otherwise I would be driving. The next song to grace my ears is a Bon Jovi classic. “Always� was the first song we made love to on the day she told me she loved me in the stuck lift at Nick’s place. Only I had discovered it wasn’t actually stuck. Nick had planned the whole damn thing. Sneaky sod. I’m so glad he did though. This last year has been the best of my life. I moved all my stuff into the little cottage in Kelso and we’ve been playing house ever since. Waking up to her beautiful, make-up free face every single morning is the best feeling.
In His Place: Sonic Idols Book #2 Page 22
