by Laura Bickle
I snatched up my shoes beside the door and fled into the backyard without looking back.
I was in no mood to deal with people. I hastily fed Star, put together her gear, and harnessed her to the sledge. I loaded two bales of hay, working quickly in case my parents decided to come after me to have a heart-to-heart talk. I grimaced as I lugged the heavy bales into the back of the wagon. Caring for the cows would keep me gone for a couple of hours, at least. Maybe by then, they’d be occupied with other chores and leave me in peace.
I hoped. I knew better than to pray for it, but I hoped.
Star sensed something was amiss. She ignored her oats and snuffled against my shoulder. I petted her soft nose, sad to think that I would not be seeing much of her in the future.
“Yes, I love you, too,” I muttered as I kissed her nose. “But your owner is an ass.”
I rarely swore. But that stab of rebellion warmed my belly, even as Star rolled her eyes.
I led Star toward the western fields under an overcast sky. Maybe now that Elijah was feeling well enough to be interfering in my business, he’d also be well enough to look after his own chores. I would passive-aggressively fail to complete any other chores on the Miller property today, but I would not ever subject the animals to my ire. I would take care of them. But Elijah’s dirty clothes could rot. Or maybe Ruth could wash his underwear and bring him lunch.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I wondered exactly what it was that I grieved for. I knew that I regretted losing the easy friendship Elijah and I once had, and of course our Rumspringa. But what about our life together after that? Would it have been like this—him changed to a pious flogger of anyone who breaks the rules? I began to suspect that there would be no infractions whatsoever permitted in our house.
And did I have any right to expect anything different? I knew what was expected of me. And I thought that those desires for the things of Outside would dim after Rumspringa. That I’d be ready to settle down, obey the rules, have children, and live under Elijah’s direction. And the Lord’s.
But those were my hopes for the future. Not now. Now I bristled against all these things. Even the Lord.
Star shied and pawed, so I grasped her harness and firmly led her into the field. The steers were clustered up against the fence, mooing in an agitated fashion. I could not see over their broad backs. I had to struggle to push the gate open against the wall of cow flesh.
“You must be hungry.” I shoved them hard to move them out of the way, so that I could get the hay to their feeding area.
I noticed a swarm of flies buzzing through. I swatted at them. It was late in the season for flies, and perhaps that was what was irritating the cattle.
They didn’t show much interest in the hay as it passed on the sledge. The whites of their eyes showed as I crowded through, and I had to mind my feet to avoid getting stepped on. Finally, I was able to grab the pitchfork in the back of the sledge to put out their breakfast.
But Star had stopped.
“Go on, girl.”
She flicked her ears back at me but would not obey. From my vantage point behind her, I could see a shiver ripple through the skin of her back. Clutching the pitchfork, I came around to the front of her.
I stopped dead in my tracks and a fly landed on my cheek.
“Oh no,” I cried.
Four dead cows lay in the field, three brown, one white. Flies matted them, creating the seething illusion of life. I approached slowly, my heart thudding behind my ribs so hard it hurt.
But these were not downers, sick cows who’d taken ill. The spine of the cow nearest me was bent at an awkward angle. Blood trickled from its nose and a gash in its throat into the mud, creating a lurid lipstick color. Two others had their heads torn clean off, the blind eyes covered in flies. The last one, the white one, showed the most blood on its pale hide. It had been torn open from stem to stern, its ribs splayed open in the shape of some terrible butterfly and its entrails soaking in the mud.
I covered my mouth with my hand to keep from retching.
I backed up slowly, my gaze fixed on that white cow.
The vampires were here.
***
“They’re here!”
I reached the house, panting and terrified. My mother was washing laundry with Ginger in the backyard, with the spigot and steel basins and soap up to their elbows.
My mother grabbed me with soapy hands. “Who’s here?”
But I was looking beyond her, at Ginger. She let her washboard slide back into the water. Her hands shook.
I forced myself to look at my mother. “The things. The things that destroyed Outside.”
My mother knelt before me. “What’s going on?”
I took a deep breath. “There are four cows in the west field. Dead. Ripped to pieces.”
My mother’s gaze dug deep into me as she smoothed a stray strand of hair from my bonnet. “Liewe, they could be wolves. Or coyotes.” She was trying to be reassuring, but I could see the fear igniting in her gray eyes.
I shook my head. “No. Not like this. This is a . . . a savaging. No animal can break spines and ribs.”
“They’re here,” Ginger whispered. “The vampires.”
My mother’s head snapped around to Ginger. “What are you talking about?” she demanded. Her grip tightened on my elbows, and I winced.
Ginger’s breath was shallow over her words. “I got through to Dan on my cell phone. The contagion from Outside . . . it turns people mad. They are calling them vampires.”
“I thought your cell phone was dead,” a male voice said.
My gaze flashed beyond the clothesline. Elijah stood there, favoring his wounded ankle. He’d been listening to us behind the hanging sheets.
“What are you doing here?” I snapped.
“Katie. Mind your manners,” my mother said.
I glared at Elijah. “I would have expected that you’d found something else to do other than hang around here. Isn’t there anything going on at Ruth’s house?”
“Katie.”
Elijah looked hard at me, then at Ginger. “I thought your cell phone was dead,” he said again.
Ginger lifted her chin. “I found a charger in the bottom of my car as I was cleaning it out.”
“When were you going to say something about this?”
I hated his imperious air. I shrugged out of my mother’s grip. “I don’t think she owes you an explanation.”
Elijah folded his arms across his chest. “She does when she’s enjoying our hospitality.”
“She’s not enjoying your hospitality.” I jammed my finger in his chest. “She’s enjoying my family’s.”
“Katie.” My mother’s hand was on my shoulder, hauling me back.
“She’s from Outside,” he said, looking past me at Ginger. “Who’s to say that she didn’t bring something in?”
I reached back and slapped him.
It stunned him, and it stunned me. I’d never struck anyone in my life, and the roar of blood in my ears made me powerful. I could see the red mark spreading on his face where my hand made contact. My palm stung.
Elijah stared at me, incredulous.
“Ja, she’s been Outside,” I snarled at him. “So were you. And me. And your father.”
My mother grabbed my wrist so hard I could feel the bones crackle. She began uttering an apology to Elijah.
“You had better get control of her,” Elijah said, rubbing his cheek.
I laughed at him. “You certainly won’t ever have control of me. Go to that . . . mouse . . . who will allow you to tell her what to think. Now leave!”
Elijah lowered his hat over his eyes and moved away on his crutches. My mother led me up the back steps by my wrist into the kitchen. Her eyes were storm gray in anger.
“What is wrong with you?” she cried.
“What was he doing here?” I gestured through the open door with my chin.
“He came to check on you.”
“He doesn’t
want me. He wants Ruth,” I snapped. “He needs to leave me alone.” I turned away.
My mother grabbed my chin, forced me to look at her. “He doesn’t know what he wants. And neither do you.”
“I—”
“Enough!” Her voice crackled like lightning.
I lapsed into silence.
I was dimly aware of a shadow in the doorway. Ginger.
My mother glared at her. “Come in. Sit down. Both of you.”
Ginger obediently sat down at the table. My mother pushed me down in a chair.
Through gritted teeth, she said: “You two will stay here while I summon the Elders. They will sort out what to do with you.”
“I’m sorry. I just . . . I didn’t know how to say it.” Ginger’s voice was small.
“So you kept it from us?”
Ginger hung her head. “I wanted Dan to be wrong. I thought . . . I thought that he had lost it. Cracked under the pressure.” She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes.
My eyes widened. I had never seen an adult lie before, and I was fascinated to see how it was done.
Ginger went on: “I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to believe that such a terrible thing could happen to my children.” A sob escaped her lips. “My children.”
Something in my mother’s gaze softened. She put her hand on Ginger’s shoulder. “I have been praying for your family. And I will continue to do so.”
“Thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done.” Ginger put a shaking hand on my mother’s. “I mean no disrespect.”
My mother bent to kiss Ginger on the prayer bonnet she wore askew on her blond hair. “I know.”
She went outside. Through the kitchen window, I saw her step up into Star’s saddle. My mother and the horse headed north, to the next cluster of houses.
I stared at Ginger, incredulous. She took off her glasses and wiped them on her apron.
She looked at me through reddened eyes. “Now is the time that you and I have to get our stories straight. Or we’ll both be dead.”
“I think . . .” I blew out my breath. “I think we’re dead already.”
She leaned across the table and poked me in the sternum, blue eyes blazing. “Don’t you dare say that. I wouldn’t want any of my children to give up, and I won’t let you do it, either.”
I stared down at the table. There seemed precious little to live for.
“Hey.” She pressed her hand to my face. “We are going to survive this. But you’ve got to fight for it.”
Numbly, I nodded.
“Okay. We need to work out a timeline . . .”
And Ginger began to teach me how to lie.
***
The Elders and a handful of other men of the community descended upon our house. My father came with them. His face was tight and creased.
He grasped my hand. “Lead them to what you found.”
I walked before the phalanx of men. I could feel their stares boring into my back. I forced my eyes forward, put one foot in front of the other, until we reached the field. I stopped at the edge of the fence, went no farther.
The men filed past me. The Elders surrounded the fallen cattle, whispering among themselves. After some time they finally nodded at one another, then streamed out.
The Bishop said to my father and the other laymen: “Burn them.”
They walked back toward the house. The Hexenmeister remained behind, leaning on his cane.
My father asked: “What shall I do with the rest of the cows?”
Herr Stoltz frowned. “Put them in a barn. A barn with a Hex sign on the door.”
“What did this?” my father asked.
The Hexenmeister gazed back at the dead cows with rheumy eyes. The other men were cautiously approaching the bodies with wood.
The old man looked back at me. “The Darkness. The Darkness took them.”
“I don’t understand.” My father looked confused.
The Hexenmeister’s face crumpled in heavy sadness. “You will.”
He limped on after the others.
***
The Elders crowded into our kitchen, listening as Ginger recounted her story.
I noted that Ginger kept her story closely aligned with the truth. She clasped her hands in front of her on the table, telling them earnestly how it was God’s providence that she had found the car charger buried in the junk under her seat. I corroborated her story, feeling guilty for throwing her to the wolves, but not wanting any of the attention to fall on me or my wanderings Outside.
“I don’t know what to believe,” she whispered. “Dan says that there are monsters out there. Vampires.”
The Elders traded glances.
“And you said that he told you that people on holy ground are safe?” the Bishop asked her again.
“Yes,” Ginger said. “As long as the evil doesn’t find a way in.”
I looked down at my shoes.
The Bishop nodded. He and the other Elders stepped outside to confer privately.
I stared through the kitchen window. I could see a smoke plume at the horizon where the cows were burning, like some offering to one of Alex’s old gods.
Alex. My jaw tightened at the thought of him, and my palms began to sweat.
My father leaned against the table, rubbing his brow. My mother went to him, touched his sleeve. “Was it bad?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yes.”
Her gaze rested on Ginger. “Do you believe her?” Her fingers tightened on his sleeve.
My father frowned. “I will believe what the Elders tell us to believe.”
The Elders returned to the kitchen, their heavy footsteps creaking the floorboards. The Bishop stared long and hard at Ginger before he spoke: “There will be no more discussion of vampires. Or the Outside. Is this clear?”
“Yes, sir,” she said.
“You will surrender your cell phone, and it will be destroyed.”
Ginger gasped. She blurted: “But that’s the last lifeline I have to my husband, my children . . .”
The Bishop was unmoved. “It is a link to Outside. If you want to stay, it must be destroyed. Otherwise”—the Bishop shrugged and looked out the window—“you are welcome to leave.”
Ginger squeezed her eyes shut, and tears dripped down her pale face. They tapped on the tabletop for a long minute before she finally agreed: “Okay.”
“Go get it.”
Ginger pushed away from the table, went upstairs to collect it. I could hear her footsteps on the wood above me, and my heart ached for her. This seemed such an unnecessary cruelty.
I opened my mouth, but my father shook his head. There was no undoing this.
Ginger slowly descended the stairs with her phone in her hands. She placed it before her on the table.
The Bishop nodded to one of the other Elders. He swept it to the floor and stomped on it. I could hear the crunch and shatter of plastic parts as the pieces skittered across the floor.
I put my arm around Ginger as she sobbed. The Bishop opened the back door to the throng of Plain men and women who had gathered in our backyard. They knew that something had happened, and I could hear the thickness of the rumors buzzing through them. I saw the Hexenmeister at the fringes, leaning on his cane. Elijah stared hard at the kitchen door, Ruth and Herr Miller flanking him. I looked away. The Elders would tell them all what was happening. I could feel the weight of guilt already being removed from me. One less secret to keep.
The Elders stepped down to the yard, the Bishop at the center.
“Brothers and sisters,” the Bishop began. “Thank you for your concern. But there is no need to panic. God is with us. We have nothing to fear.”
“But there is an Outsider among us,” Elijah grumbled loudly. I shot him a murderous look. “An Outsider who speaks of vampires.”
The crowd murmured.
The Bishop lifted his hands in a placating gesture. “We should offer our sympathies to the woman. The stress of the last week
’s events has caused her mind to become unhinged. She imagines fearsome things, things that are not real.”
I gasped, stared at Ginger beside me at the table. Her face crumpled.
“She deserves our sympathy and our charity and our prayers that she should be restored to sound mind in accordance with God’s will.”
Another man shouted from the back. “What about the cattle?”
The Bishop shook his head. “Wolves. They have become bold. I entreat those of you with animals to keep them in the barns at night, to keep them safe.”
My hands balled into fists. The Bishop was lying to them. I moved forward, but Ginger grabbed my wrist.
“Don’t,” she hissed. “Better that they think I’m crazy than both of us dead.”
“But . . . we’re all in danger!” I whispered back.
She grasped my hand and squeezed it. Hard. “No. Be quiet.”
I bristled. All my life, people had been telling me to be quiet. To obey. And it had never gotten me anywhere.
I took a deep breath and stepped forward to face the crowd.
The Hexenmeister hobbled forward with his cane before I could speak. He faced the Elders. “The Darkness is coming.”
The Bishop glared at him. “There is no Darkness, except for the poisonous thoughts of Outside.”
The Hexenmeister pointed at the smoke plume in the distant field. “The Darkness is here. Someone has let it in.”
“We are safe. God has chosen us . . .” the Bishop began.
The Hexenmeister had the temerity to interrupt him. “God has chosen those who will not listen to die.”
He turned around and stumped away from the gathering. The crowd parted to let him, leaving the Bishop to fume impotently on our back step.
Chapter Sixteen
Nachtesse was brutally silent that night.
My mother and father did not speak, and Ginger sat at the table, staring at her chicken casserole. We were out of butter and ate our biscuits plain. Sarah, oblivious, filled the void with chatter until she realized that no one was responding. She settled down to push her casserole around with her fork, quiet like the rest of us.
