by Gini Koch
“It’s not a theory if you can prove it’s real.”
“Good point, Malcolm. Hold onto that mindset, because when I answer your question, you’re going to need to have that open mind going strong.”
The men searched our captives and found an impressive arsenal strapped and hidden about their various persons.
New household armory established in the living room, Buchanan drew all the blinds and curtains and locked all the doors while Reader gave me zip ties and duct tape. I had our assassins trussed up like Cajun Turkeys by the time Reader was back with Chuckie and the others.
“Kids, no one touches any of the weapons, or else being spanked and grounded will be the least of your worries.”
“We try not to spank the children,” Chuckie said.
“I’m all for that, as long as none of them touch the guns, knives, or explosives. However,” I shot Mom’s Hairy Eyeball Look at all three children, “all bets are off if this particular ‘don’t touch’ order is disobeyed.”
The three kids nodded and clustered around Dad. Good choice.
“Malcolm, it’s good to see you,” Dad said. “How have you been?”
“He’s been out in the cold, apparently, and I mean that totally in the spy talk way, Dad. I think everyone in the room is about to hear a lot of interesting things that are going to make most of you go ‘no way!’ and similar. Trust me when I say that what I’m going to tell you is true, and I’m sort of betting on Malcolm being right, too.” At least, in my world, he was always right. Why not here?
“Should I take the children elsewhere?” Dad asked.
“No. They deserve to hear what I’m going to say, Max in particular.”
“Could we move the guns and such, Katherine?” Aunt Carla asked. “At least so we can all sit down?”
“Sure,” Chuckie said. He jerked his head at Buchanan and Reader, and the three of them moved our arsenal off the couch and onto the dining room table. The table had a really pretty tablecloth on it. Chose not to whine about how the weapons were probably going to wreck that, even though Pierre’s expression said that this, more than anything else that had happened in these past few minutes, was the most horrible thing ever. Then again, the couch and floor looked okay, so maybe the tablecloth would survive, too.
While they were doing this I contemplated what to do with the assassins. I didn’t want them hearing anything Buchanan or I were going to say, but at the same time, I didn’t want to keep on knocking them out, lest we cause brain damage. I didn’t care about their brains, but, as I’d been repeatedly told today, people with concussions had memory issues, and I wanted what was in their memories.
The idea of putting them into another room was appealing, only every TV show and movie was a crash course in why this was a bad idea. Keeping your enemies where you could see—and stop and/or kill—them was the way to go.
“Do we have any wax or anything?”
“Uh, why?” Chuckie asked.
“Dude, to put into the assassins’ ears. I don’t want them hearing anything we’re going to be saying. Seems obvious to me.” Bernie was coming around. Realized I didn’t want any of the assassins looking at the civilians. I didn’t want them looking at the house, either. “Do you have an unfinished basement or weight room or something?”
Chuckie nodded. “But I don’t want to leave them down there unattended.”
“I like where your head’s at. And, I agree, but I don’t want them knowing where they are, either.” I grabbed Bernie’s legs and dragged her off at hyperspeed. This conveniently knocked her out again. Oh well, we’d just have to risk the brain damage.
It was easy to find the door to the basement, which was a pleasant surprise. You entered via the kitchen. Wondered if I could ask for a snack—I was getting hungry.
Broke down and dragged Bernie downstairs holding her under her armpits, versus letting her head hit each stair, though being nice like this took effort. Deposited her in a really nicely furnished and actually finished basement that appeared to be doubling as both a workout room—which came complete with a gigantic bathroom that had five toilets, sinks, and showers—and an impressive wine cellar. Wondered if one of the walls spun around to reveal a superspy lair, but figured I’d find out later.
Passed Reader and Buchanan carrying one of the male assassins all nicely. Well, they didn’t have the history with Bernie that I did.
Got upstairs and grabbed the next assassin. “If we got lucky and they had ID on them, can you figure out if one of them is named Raul, or if one of them is married to Bernie, or if any of them are named Dier or Diaz?” I asked Chuckie, who was keeping everyone else in place. “It’s important.”
He nodded and I dragged off Assassin #3. Passed Reader and Buchanan on their way back up. Dumped my dude next to the other dude, and contemplated options.
The weight room had a mirror on the wall that opened up to the Super Bathroom, so I didn’t want them facing that. Happily, there was a wall that went three-quarters of the way across between the wine cellar and the workout room. Moved the assassins so that they were facing this wall, which meant their backs were to the mirror. So far, so good.
Reader and Buchanan brought the last one down. Buchanan moved a weight bench so that we could sit the four of them up and lean them against the bench to keep them in a sitting position.
I’d done prisoner interrogations before, but I’d had Jeff, Christopher, Gower, and Reader helping me. Of course, I’d also had Chuckie helping me. The thing was, I knew I couldn’t count on either Chuckie or Reader to react how I needed them to, and Buchanan was currently the textbook definition of Loose Cannon.
Reader trotted upstairs and came back with Chuckie. “Kitty, do you want to tell us what’s going on now?” he asked.
“Nope. I want to know who, if anyone, is named Raul in this group.”
Chuckie pointed to the guy we had on the opposite end from Bernie. Good. I didn’t want them near each other in the first place. “Raul Diaz. Bernice Diaz is the woman. The other men have no ID on them. Why these two do is suspicious.”
“Super. They have ID because they’re married and they like to get up close and personal with their targets, and that means you need to have a driver’s license on you just in case the cops pull you over for speeding. Do we have chloroform or something? Trust me when I say we do not want these guys hearing what we’re going to discuss.”
Chuckie and Reader exchanged one of their signs and Reader went to the wine cellar. I followed him. He shifted five different bottles in five separate areas of the wine rack on the far wall. On the sixth bottle, the wall opened to reveal a room that was set up as a computer center with many extras.
“Nice setup,” Buchanan said from behind me. “Company approved?”
“No,” Chuckie replied. “Angela thought it would be wise to have. Off book.”
“I just knew you guys had a secret room here somewhere. You have one in your house in Australia, too, don’t you?”
“Yes, we do.” Chuckie rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re not my Kitty, are you?”
Wondered just how dense my counterpart was, then thought about it a little more. I’d been clueless about what my parents and Chuckie were actually doing until I was twenty-seven—later even for Chuckie—and if I hadn’t been around a forming superbeing, I’d probably still be clueless. She trusted the people she loved the most, just like I had. Wondered how she was handling the discoveries she was undoubtedly making. She was me, in that sense, so I figured she’d roll with whatever punches came along.
“No, I am Katherine Katt, but I’m not your Katherine Katt, thanks for joining Team Reality Check. Let’s drug these creeps and then I’ll share the wonder that is me.”
“Truly,” Chuckie said, “I can’t wait.”
CHAPTER 23
CHLOROFORM WAS PROCURED and put over the assassins’ mouths
and noses. They all went back to fully out. “We have a little while now,” Reader said. “What’s the story?”
“Bring the rest of the family down here. They need to hear what I’m going to say and I need the kids to verify something.”
“I don’t want—” Chuckie started.
Put my hand up. “I don’t care what you want right now. I’m telling you that your secrets need to come out, completely. Your children almost died today. If what I’m going to tell everyone about hadn’t happened, your family would have died today. You can work with me and we can fix this, or you can work against me and leave the people you love the most in mortal danger. Your pick, but I have no idea how long I’m here for, and if it’s a short-term loan, speed is going to be of the essence.”
Chuckie looked like he was ready to argue, but Buchanan spoke up. “Everyone upstairs knows what’s going on, at least to a certain degree, based on what’s just happened. Trying to hide this, or lie to them about it, is the definition of stupid.”
Chuckie sighed and nodded. “Fine. You’re both right.” He trotted upstairs and came back with everyone. “Okay, we’re all here.”
“Kit-Kat, are you okay?” Caroline asked me. “You haven’t done anything remotely normal since . . . you ran us to the safe room. And, right now . . . you’re looking at all of us like you’ve never seen us before.”
“I’ve seen you all before, just not the yous that you are.”
“Katherine, whatever are you talking about?” Aunt Carla asked.
“Before I answer that, kids, I need you to look at the woman here. Have you ever seen her, or this man,” I pointed to the guy Chuckie had identified as Raul, “before? Anywhere, here or in Australia or even just in passing?”
The kids all gave it their attention. “I have,” Jamie said. “She tried to kill us.”
“When?” Charlie asked, sounding shocked.
“A long time ago,” Jamie replied.
“No way,” Max said. “But I’ve seen her. I don’t remember where.”
“We know her, Mommy,” Charlie said. “We met her in the park last week. She gave us candy, remember? She wanted to have us meet her kids and do a play date, but you told her we were heading back to America and it would have to be a rain check.”
“It so figures. And, no, honey, I don’t remember. Because Max is right. I’m not your actual mother.” Charlie looked stricken, Max relieved, and Jamie . . . Jamie looked a little disappointed.
“I told you she wasn’t our mommy,” Max said to Jamie.
“She’s the mommy we needed,” Jamie replied stubbornly.
Everyone stared at her, me included. “What, sweetheart?” Chuckie asked carefully.
But Jamie just shook her head and wouldn’t speak.
“My Jamie is a chatterbox,” I said to Chuckie. “What’s going on with this Jamie?”
Everyone looked uncomfortable. Max heaved a sigh. “Jamie doesn’t talk a lot. And . . . other things.”
“She’s spoken more today than she has in recent weeks,” Pierre said, sounding sad and worried.
Shoved worry about this Jamie to the side and took a deep breath. “Fine. We’ll move on. You may not understand it, and don’t ask me how, but the best I can give you is this—I’m in Bizarro World. Oh, and this is Malcolm Buchanan. Like Charles and James, he’s C.I.A. Just like my mother was. I’m not from this world—on my Earth, aliens exist and I’m married to one of them. I’m sure aliens exist here, too, though I don’t think they’ve come to Earth to live. Have they, Dad?”
“How long have you known?” Dad asked.
“Me? I’ve known since I was twenty-seven and I discovered aliens were on the planet.”
“Kitty, for the last time, aliens are not on this planet,” Chuckie said.
“No, but they’re out there, and they’re communicating with us . . . aren’t they, Dad?”
He nodded. “We’re far from being able to visit, and communications take a long time, but intelligent life is out there, and, for us, quite nearby.”
“In the Alpha Centauri system, which has a lot of populated planets, doesn’t it?”
Dad nodded again. Pierre, Aunt Carla, and Caroline looked shocked, but not nearly as shocked as Chuckie and Reader. “I’m sorry, boys. It’s need-to-know and you didn’t. Really, you still don’t. Kitten, Charles is right—there are no aliens on this Earth.”
“Dad, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that you were a good father and read some comics just to keep up with me. You said ‘this’ Earth. Meaning that you’re feeling fairly confident that there’s more than one universe out there.”
He gave me a small smile. “The current thinking is that we’re part of a multiverse. And I’m looking at the proof. You’re here.” He shook his head. “You’re not my daughter. I mean, you are, clearly, but you look just a little . . . off. You’re acting off, too, and not because of a concussion. How you moved . . .”
To her great credit, Aunt Carla wasn’t arguing with Dad. Had a feeling it was because she also thought I wasn’t the “right” Kitty. Which showed a rare ability to be insightful that the Aunt Carla I knew didn’t have or never bothered to use.
“Yeah, it’s called hyperspeed. I have it because my particular alien is both very powerful and was given a drug that mutated him. Our daughter, Jamie, who is the exact same age as this Jamie, did a mother-and-child feedback thing. So, I’m sort of part alien now.” Looked at Chuckie. “I really am Wolverine with Boobs.”
“Then where’s our mommy?” Charlie asked in a little voice.
“I . . .” I was going to say that I wasn’t sure, but my head throbbed. Had a feeling it wasn’t hurting because of slamming into concrete. “Well, like your Grandpa Sol said, there are a lot of universes out there. And many of us are in all of them. Sometimes we’re the same, and I guess sometimes we’re not, but . . .” I winced as my head throbbed again.
Then I saw it. I saw the Universe Wheel. And I remembered it, and every time I’d seen it. And I also remembered that I never actually remembered it once I left the place where I was floating and watching the Wheel turn.
So, someone was trying to help me. Had two guesses for who, though others might be assisting as well. Sent a mental “thank you” out, and then got back to the business at hand of freaking out everyone in this basement.
“Katherine Katt is in a lot of universes out there. I’ve seen them. I’m one of the Katherine Katts that exists. In my universe, aliens from the Alpha Centauri system live on Earth.” My head throbbed again. “In fact, they’re only on Earth—or I only know about them being on Earth—in my universe. So, in this one, they haven’t come here.” Meaning Ronald Yates had never come to town. The implications of which might or might not matter right now.
“And . . .” I remembered more. “I saw her, your mother, your Kitty. She and I passed each other, just at the instant when she was knocked out, I think. So, that means she’s in my world while I’m in hers.”
“But, if this is true and we’re not all choosing to believe some bizarre fantasy, how did you get here?” Chuckie asked finally. “I mean that in the Bizarro World way, by the way. As in, was there a portal, were you both in the same place at the same time, or what?”
“Chuck, it’s true,” Reader said. “You know in your gut it’s true. And I saw her in action, you didn’t. And by ‘saw’ I mean watched things happen in the blink of an eye when I couldn’t see Kitty, because she was moving so fast. There’s nothing on Earth that could do that. At least, not on our Earth.”
“I felt . . . something, when we switched. That’s all I’ve got right now, I’m sorry.”
“Why were you switched?” Buchanan asked thoughtfully.
“I think we were switched because the Kitty in this world and all her kids were about to die. I’ve been trained for five years to handle impromptu emergency situations
. I handled it. She’d have died.”
“You don’t know that,” Charlie said defensively.
Looked at Jamie. Who looked smug. “Yes, I do. Don’t I, Jamie?”
She didn’t reply. Chuckie cleared his throat. “Okay, I can believe that. My wife is a great driver and has excellent reflexes, but she’s not trained to handle assassins. Speaking of whom, why did you know the kids would know the woman?”
“Because she exists in my world. She tried to kill me and Jamie when Jamie was just an infant. Well, she tried to kidnap Jamie and kill me. Because my Jamie is amazingly talented, in a very alien talents way.” Looked up at Buchanan. “You saved us from her, by the way. That’s how I found out what you really did. So, how long have you been shadowing the me in this world?”
“Since your senior year of high school.”
Everyone, even Chuckie—hell, even Dad—looked shocked. “Dude, you’re not that much older than me.”
“No, I’m not, but I’m older than you by enough. You were my first solo assignment, after your mother recruited and trained me. Protecting you, or rather, the Kitty from this world, has been my job for a decade.” He looked over at Chuckie. “And it’s been necessary. You were added on as a protection target once you two got married. And the children, of course.”
“But you worked with us on missions,” Reader said. “You going to tell us you’re Multiple Man and can be in more than one place at a time?”
“He’s Doctor Strange, actually.”
“Whatever,” Buchanan said with a short laugh. “No, Angela had others doing family guard duty when we were on missions. She only pulled me in for the really tough ones.”
“So you’re saying you’ve been protecting us from threats for a decade?” Chuckie asked. “I call BS. You worked too many missions with us for that to fly.”
Buchanan shrugged. “By the time Max was born, Angela had a team covering you. I was the head of it.” His eyes flashed. “And all my people are dead, too, just like all of hers. Out of her entire team, the three of us in this room are all that remains. Someone just tried to take you and your entire family out. That would include Reader, here, wouldn’t it?”
