by Marilu Mann
With the lodge in sight, Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. Talia leaned against her so heavily that when she looked at the child’s face she was not surprised to see the six-year-old sound asleep.
“Apparently snowmobile rides are a lot like car rides.” The tenderness in Micah’s voice along with the gentleness he showed as he scooped the sleeping child up made tears well up in Olivia’s eyes. He makes such a good parent.
Once Talia was tucked in bed with Olivia assisting Micah in making sure the covers were snug around her, the two adults turned as one to head downstairs. Olivia led the way with her hand tugging Micah along behind her. She wanted to spoon into him and let the tiredness that the activity brought on-and the fear it enhanced-melt away.
“I’d like to make love to you, Liv, but let’s save our energy for tonight. It’s going to be your second change in as many days so you need to be ready for that.” Luckily Micah echoed her own thoughts about just going to sleep.
Olivia woke later with Micah still curled around her, his warmth comforting her. She stirred enough to roll over, studying him in his sleep. Strong jaw, high cheekbones, thick lashes and that lovely mouth. Thinking about his mouth could only lead to one thing. Olivia slid closer to kiss him.
Micah woke smiling. He brought one hand up to frame her face and kissed her again just as the bedroom door banged open, hitting the wall. A six-year-old bundle of excitement landed right in the middle of the bed, bouncing on Micah’s side.
“Hurry up, everyone’s going to be there before us and I can’t wait for pizza!” Talia bounded off the bed just as quickly as Olivia and Micah laughed together and got out of bed. Within thirty minutes they were piled in Micah’s truck for the ride to Pete and Margie’s. Talia talked nonstop from her booster seat strapped securely between the adults.
After they’d dropped her off and Micah had introduced Margie and Olivia, they headed back to the lodge. He explained that they’d change into wolf form at the lodge so they could safely leave their clothing in a warm and accessible place.
“There will be about thirty there tonight, Liv. Don’t be nervous, they’ll all want to sniff you, just to figure out who you are. Stay by me and you’ll be fine.”
Olivia kept her second thoughts firmly to herself. I want to do this, don’t I? I am a shifter, right? I should be looking forward to meeting others like me.
Still, as the turnoff to the lodge appeared, she felt her heartbeat increasing and her blood pumping faster. “Micah, I don’t know if I can do this. What if I want to stay a wolf?”
“Sweetheart, stop worrying so much. We’ll run with the others for a while then we’ll come back here together. Just stay with me, Liv, everything will be fine.”
Micah pulled the truck to a stop and she saw Gareth standing on the porch. He waved as they got out of the truck and moved toward them.
“Gareth, you’re coming tonight, right?”
“No, I don’t think so.” Olivia watched the way his gaze bounced off Micah’s face and to the ground between them.
“Gareth, you need to be there tonight.”
Olivia watched him carefully. Gareth sighed, shaking his head, then took a deep breath. “I’ll go.”
“Thank you.” Micah touched the other man’s shoulder briefly then turned back to Olivia. “Let’s go inside for a bit, we still have about twenty minutes.”
Nodding, she followed him inside. Gareth stood on the porch for a few minutes then came inside. She felt the tension surrounding Gareth but had no idea why he didn’t want to be with the other shifters.
Though they sat in fairly companionable silence, Olivia’s curiosity got the better of her.” Gareth? May I ask you a question?”
He glanced at her almost with a sideways sweep of his eyes then he did the same to Micah. “Micah?”
“Gareth, Olivia is with me. If you are comfortable answering her questions, feel free. You don’t need to ask my permission.” Micah clipped the words out as if he was annoyed by something but Olivia didn’t know what that might be.
“Go ahead, Olivia.” Gareth kept his eyes lowered as his shoulders seemed to creep higher up his neck.
“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but why don’t you want to be at the Gathering tonight? I know why I don’t, but you? Aren’t these your,” she stumbled over the word, “Pack?”
With a sigh, Gareth swept a hand through his hair. revealing his scarring and the patch over his eye for a moment before letting the hair curtain back over the destruction. “This isn’t really my Pack. I have friends here and I acknowledge Micah as my Alpha even if he doesn’t accept that, but I’m not really accepted among the Pack.”
A low growl came from Micah who softened it with a grin that was just shy of a grimace. “It’s not that I don’t accept it, Gareth. I can’t. Or I couldn’t. I was working two jobs-here and all over the country. You know that better than most.”
Olivia interrupted. “Micah? Pete acknowledges you as the leader and so does Gareth. I imagine that there are others as well?”
“We all do, Olivia. There is not one shifter among the Pack who will be at tonight’s Gathering who doesn’t accept Micah as our Alpha.”
The quiet after those words stretched out until Olivia couldn’t stand it. She smiled softly at Micah. “Well, I think there is one who doesn’t accept him as Alpha.”
Gareth’s menacing roll of sound made the hair stand up on her neck. “Who is it? I’ll challenge him in a heartbeat.”
“Gareth.” Olivia held her hand up. “I’m talking about Micah.”
The stunned looks from both men was too much for her. Giggles burbled up as she covered her mouth with both hands. She imagined they looked like they’d seen a two-headed moose in the living room with the way they stared. Then they both joined in her laughter-Micah first closely followed by Gareth.
This time the silence that followed was softer. Olivia felt less tense. But when Micah got to his feet she felt her stomach clench. “It’s time, isn’t it?”
He nodded at her. “Yes, Olivia. Time for the Pack to meet you.”
She wondered why he phrased it that way. It seemed to be more about her meeting the Pack. The question she had asked died when Gareth stood up as well. Without another word, both men started undressing. Not being as comfortable with group nudity as they obviously were, Olivia moved behind one of the tall chairs.
Her hands shook as she slipped her shirt off. The pants seemed to cling to her legs, making her struggle to get them off. She might have asked for help removing her bra, but Micah already stood before her in his beautiful wolf form. She watched as Gareth flowed into his own wolf-self.
The white wolf she’d seen it the woods really was Gareth. The scars he hid under the patch he wore stood out on his wolf face. One blue eye and a cloudy white eye marked him for sure. Micah stood several inches taller in wolf form than Gareth, but as she looked at the size of their chests, she could see that Gareth was about equal to Micah in total size.
A cold nudge on her hand broke her reverie. Micah’s moist nose insistently poked at her hand. She gave in to his pleas to scratch him behind his ears. Her tension was broken by the very doggy look of satisfaction he got leaning into her fingernails. Then he moved away and gave a sharp commanding yip. Olivia nodded in response.
Closing her eyes, she concentrated on shifting. She heard Micah mentally encouraging her but lost her focus when howling sounded outside the window. Micah bounded toward the window then looked back at her. Gareth had moved to one side of the chair and a silent communication passed between the two of them.
Watching Micah push the partially opened window up with his nose, she realized she was holding everything up. “Micah, you go ahead, Gareth and I will be right behind you.”
First he shook his head, but she put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “Go on, now. You watching me just makes me nervous. I promise I’ll be right behind you with Gareth.”
He came toward her, nudging her hand with his head
then staring up at her. She got the message to hurry and smiled. “I will.”
Micah jumped out the window and the howls sounded again. This time he joined in. Olivia shivered and concentrated again. Her muscles shuddered as she tried to recall what wolf had felt like to her. Her bones ached. She could almost feel them reorienting in her body. She opened her eyes to see the floor much closer than it had been and a quick look at Gareth confirmed that she’d managed the change on her own.
Are you ready, Micah’s Olivia?
She knew the words came from Gareth. What an odd turn of phrase. I am ready, Gareth. Please don’t leave me.
His gentle shoulder bump made her feel calmer. He led the way toward the window and they leapt out to race toward the clearing. Gareth might only have one eye, but he could jump and leap over any obstacles that appeared in their path just as nimbly as she. They reached the edge of the clearing and Olivia felt overwhelmed by the variety of scents surrounding her.
Each wolf had their own unique scent. She picked Micah out of the crowd immediately, his cinnamon scent teasing her nose as Gareth’s earthier pine scent seemed to fade. Olivia realized a group of males had detached from the larger group in the center of the clearing and had headed toward them, heads down.
Gareth stopped, so she did the same. The leader of the four wolves halted in front of them, growling at Gareth and ignoring her. What do you think you’re doing here, Scar-face?
I’m here for the same reason you’re here, Luke. To welcome our Alpha home. Gareth’s voice sounded calm in her head. Olivia looked between the other wolves and Gareth, wondering why they were giving him a hard time.
No one wants you here, Scar-face. You offend the Alpha with your presence. Get lost. With that, three of the wolves attacked Gareth. Olivia yelped and ran toward Micah. She glanced back once to see Gareth holding his own against the three, but when the fourth wolf, the one he’d called Luke, joined in, Gareth went down. The snarling and growling had pulled some attention away from the center of the circle and Olivia saw Micah surrounded by female wolves.
She forgot all about Gareth in that moment. Those bitches were trying to get Micah’s attention and she wouldn’t have it! Olivia growled low in her throat, surprised at the sound she made, but meaning it nonetheless. She ran toward the closest female, snarling and nipping at her tail. The females scattered, yipping as they went while Micah waited calmly for her.
Olivia bumped his shoulder with her head and Micah rubbed his jaw along the top of her head. I’m glad you’re here, Liv. Meet the Pack. Everyone, this is Olivia Volksson Decatur. She is my guest and under my protection.
Just as he finished addressing the group, the four wolves who’d run Gareth off came rolling and tumbling into the main group of wolves. Micah turned his head toward them and Olivia followed his gaze to see a streak of white disappearing between the dark trees.
Micah, they attacked Gareth-they may have hurt him. Her shaking was echoed by the growl that rumbled through Micah as he left her side, stalking toward the four.
What did you do, Luke? The gamboling stopped as Micah approached the four smaller wolves. The hair stood up on the back of his neck and he felt another growl deep in his chest. Luke had been harassing Gareth for some time now. He and his friends were the main reason Gareth never felt comfortable joining the Gathering.
Micah knew the truth behind their posturing. As a wolf, Gareth was almost as big as he was, much bigger than these four now cowering before him. Luke raised his head momentarily then pushed at some snow with his nose as he whined.
I ran off the scarred one off, Micah. I thought, as your lieutenant, it was my place…
Micah rammed into Luke, upending him in the circle and holding him down with both paws across his chest and his mouth open around Luke’s neck. The gang of Betas backed down immediately going to their bellies, tails and heads dropping in submission and Luke, after a brief startled yelp, held perfectly still.
My lieutenant? Do you honestly think I would allow a bully like you to be anything in any Pack structure? Gareth is my friend, Luke. He is my second-in-command in the human world and Pete is the highest-ranking wolf when I’m not around. What gives you the right to make yourself my second here? If you or your friends attack Gareth in or out of the circle again, you will all answer to me. Are we clear?
He shook the other wolf once just to make his point. Micah knew he had the attention of every wolf at the Gathering so he took yet another opportunity to defend Gareth.
He knew the others, especially this group of youngsters, assumed that because Gareth only had one good eye that his stature in the Pack was lessened. Micah knew that because Gareth had grown up in a Pack and fought his way to become one of the Beta males in Curtis’ old Pack that he could hold his own, half blind or not, against any one of these new-to-a-Pack wolves.
Yes, Micah. I’m sorry. I won’t attack the scarred one again.
His name is Gareth. Use it. With that Micah released Luke who immediately flopped onto his belly and as soon as Micah turned his head away, jumped to his feet and ran, tail tucked between his back legs, back to his friends.
Micah turned back to the rest of the Pack only to see Olivia standing frozen in the middle of the group of unattached females. She shied away from contact with all of them. Her head went up when he caught her eye, then she turned and ran from him as well.
He focused on the female running away from him, from the Pack and caught her thoughts. Monsters, all monsters.
Growling out his frustration, Micah took off after her, throwing a thought at the Pack as he left the Gathering circle. Thank you all. Be free, my friends. Enjoy, I’ll be back.
Liv might be small and quicker on her feet, but Micah had desperation on his side. He had to convince Olivia to accept this world. It was just as much a part of him as the human world and it was for her as well. She needed to accept the animal behavior, the Pack structure if she was ever going to accept him. And he wouldn’t have anyone but her at his side.
Micah skidded to a halt at the side of the path. Olivia stood beside Gareth, her sides heaving, both from exertion and the anguish he could feel rolling off her. Gareth looked at him then turned his head slightly to the side.
Gareth, are you all right?
I’m fine, Micah. This is really nothing new. I’m just going to say goodnight now. Micah watched Gareth limp off. He took note of the fresh wounds on the other wolf and knew that none of them were life-threatening. Gareth would heal, physically, with his next change. The attack by the Betas was just another strike against Gareth ever feeling comfortable with this Pack. It was a problem he’d have to address in the very near future, but for now, Olivia was more important.
Olivia, why did you run?
I can’t deal with that, Micah. It’s just not right. I don’t know how to deal with it. All of my dreams, the running, the fighting. I even dreamed of chasing a rabbit. Oh God, Micah, the sound that rabbit made. I can’t do that, I can’t be that. I can’t be a wolf. I’m not good at it.
Moving slowly, Micah rubbed against Olivia’s side. Sweetheart, stop. Take a deep breath and think about this for just a minute. Before you knew what you were, your subconscious wolf mind took over, but here you are, in wolf form, having a conversation with me. If your human mind weren’t in control, do you honestly think we’d be talking right now?
He bumped her with his head, playfully butting into her. Olivia growled softly then sighed, shaking her head. She looked surprised when she continued to shake, all the way to her tail.
There is much joy in this form, Olivia. There are so many things we can do as wolves that we’d never do as human. If you chase a rabbit, even if you catch and kill it, it’s because the wolf in you has taken control for that brief moment in time. You can control the wolf. You can still be human in this form, but it’s easier sometimes to let the wolf out, to let it run free and not worry about your human form. We call it moonlust and it usually happens to young wolves. The more you shift, t
he more time you spend going from human to wolf and back again, the more control you’ll have over your animal self.
For now, let’s just concentrate on the joy. Run with me, Liv. Run with me in the moonlight, under the blanket of darkness. Run with me and feel the freedom in this form. Micah moved slightly away from her, wagging his tail, giving her his best wolf grin. Olivia stared at him for a long moment.
You’ll help me get back to my human form if I get distracted?
Micah stopped wagging his tail, stopped moving altogether. You have to do it yourself, Liv. You have to learn to control your shift.
But you’ll stay with me? Her head dropped as her ears shifted back against her skull.
Micah felt physical pain when he looked at the unhappy she-wolf in front of him. He would do anything to show her how beautiful she was to him in both forms. Yet he feared it might not be enough. He wanted to tell her he loved her-that he claimed her as his. Instead he mouthed her muzzle gently. Yes, I will stay with you.
Then show me this world, Micah. Convince me that I’m not a monster, that we’re not monsters who only want to rip and tear at one another and at smaller animals. Her head lifted slightly as her tail swept up from the ground. When her ears pitched forward toward him, understanding broke through his animal mind.
Olivia feared the “monster” who lived inside her because that’s how she had always seen her wolf. A monster who killed her parents, the monster who caused the Beta males to attack and hurt Gareth. A monster who craved fresh meat-that also explained why she had refused to eat meat at first.
Run with me, love, feel the joy in this form. Feel the freedom. Follow me. Micah set off at an easy trot. They circled around the other wolves to a spot high enough to overlook the Gathering. He sat and waited patiently until Olivia joined him. Look at them, Liv. They’re not monsters. They’re just wolves having fun. In their human forms they’re doctors, lawyers, waitresses, housewives, factory workers, real people. Tonight, though, tonight they’re wolves, they’re free and they’re loving the weather and the night. “And the wolf behowls the moon.”
