by S M Mala
‘You want a biscuit wiv ya tea?’ she asked gently.
They heard the door open and Leon started to panic.
‘Hi mum!’
It was Ethan, her oldest son who was a junior GP.
He was also gay and that had caused all amount of problems for Zoe when he was younger. She conveyed the story to Leon about the beatings her child would get from the other kids on the estate.
Ethan had it rough.
‘Hello Leon!’ he said, smiling brightly. ‘Good to see you.’ He was a handsome child. Blond hair and blue eyes. ‘Are you checking my mum’s bush?’
‘Ethan!’ shouted out Zoe as Leon went bright red.
‘You can do much better,’ Ethan said, tapping Leon’s arm. ‘Cross over to the other side and I’m sure I can give you a good time.’ Then he laughed out loudly. ‘Heterosexuals!’
‘I ‘ope that’s not your bedside manner wiv your patients, son.’
‘I better go,’ Leon said, shaking Ethan’s hand.
‘I’m only joking,’ the young man said. ‘I’ll see you out.’
Taking a deep breath, he nodded and headed towards the door.
‘It’s okay,’ Ethan whispered. ‘I know what my mum’s like and her free and caring open mind. One could call her a slapper, but she’s my mum.’ He laughed as Leon blushed. ‘But I expect you’ll end up with some hot young chick.’
‘I doubt it.’
Opening the door, Leon stepped out and shook Ethan’s hand only to receive a kiss on the cheek.
‘Your princess will come soon,’ smiled Ethan. ‘It’s only a matter of time.’
‘That’s interesting.’
Esme spotted the van in the car park and wondered what it was doing there.
‘What’s interesting?’ asked Mary, poking her head out of the door.
‘Oh nothing,’ she said, turning around to look at the elderly but very sprightly lady. ‘I’ll make a few phone calls and get someone to check out the fuse box. My contact, Winston, has moved so I need to find someone else. I can’t believe the council are taking so long to sort it out. I’m tempted to write them a bloody letter.’
‘You know what it’s like. They’re hoping I’ll get an electric shock and then they can give this place to some immigrant family.’ The old lady realised what she had said as Esme frowned. ‘You know what I mean. Your family worked when they came over from where they did. Not like this lot of foreigners.’
‘Some things don’t change,’ said Esme.
And she wasn’t talking about the immigrants.
It was the ingrained bigotry that would always prevail from generation to generation.
Once upon a time it would make Esme angry.
Now she realised you just couldn’t eradicate it.
It was part of life, unfortunately. It only enhanced her belief when her child came out, to make him aware it wasn’t only about creed, colour and class; sexual orientation played a major part.
Then she looked over at a door opening and saw Leon walk out of the house she knew Ethan lived at.
He too came out as gay but was given a rather harsh reception regarding his news.
In many ways, Alfie got off lightly, mainly because he went to a better school.
Suddenly she noticed Ethan kiss Leon on the cheek and Esme’s mouth dropped open.
Leon was gay.
It was a bit of a shock to discover.
Esme had spent the past few weeks checking the man out, realising she was behaving like a lecherous old woman, but he was very good looking. The attraction was only heightened when she would see him with Mali, and that’s when she fancied him more.
Now the idea seemed ridiculous.
She wanted to laugh but bit her lip because, right then, he caught her eye and went beetroot as he walked to his van.
‘Got to go,’ she said to Mary. ‘Thank you for letting this poor person from an immigrant family work for you.’
‘Esme, you know what I mean.’
‘I’ll sort out an electrician. But if he’s black, don’t go lynching him.’
‘Oh, I love a black man!’ the woman grinned, confusing Esme.
Taking a deep breath, she walked towards her van seeing it was parked not too far from where Leon was standing. She knew they were going to avoid speaking to each other.
He was still red.
Then they accidentally made eye contact again, and he waved as she nodded. It was when she looked at his logo ‘Shoots and Leaves’, Esme burst out laughing.
‘Typical bloody man,’ she sighed.
‘What’s funny?’ he asked, looking pissed off.
‘Nothing,’ she replied, putting her hand over her mouth. ‘I was…’ Esme knew she was going to offend him so decided driving away was the best option.
He was walking towards her, and she was stuck.
‘Do you want to share the joke?’ he asked, getting arsey.
‘It’s rude,’ she said, trying to stop laughing.
‘I won’t be offended.’
Now she was feeling embarrassed.
‘I don’t want to upset you,’ she said, gulping hard and looking at her boots.
‘You saw me leave the house, and obviously they don’t have a garden,’ he said, shaking his head.
‘That’s why I laughed because ‘Shoots and Leaves’ is your logo. I thought it was quite funny that… oh, it doesn’t matter.’
‘Ah!’ Leon said nodding while glancing at the flat. ‘You thought I’d shoot then leave, is that it?’
‘That’s what most men seem to do.’
Esme let out another little laugh.
He wasn’t smiling at her joke. She had offended him. Now she knew he was gay, it would make the relationship with her new neighbour a little bit uncomfortable.
Unless she tried to fix him up with Alfie.
Even then, she felt jealous of her son pulling Leon, then shook that stupid thought out of her head.
Alfie was gay. Leon was gay.
Anything was better than her child being touched up by queer old Vincent.
‘I don’t go out much,’ she said, trying to think of something to say. ‘Most things are amusing to me. Sorry.’
Turning quickly, she opened her car door, wanting to leave.
He started to laugh, and she looked at him as his face lit up.
‘I have to go and find an electrician,’ she mumbled.
‘An electrician?’
‘Yes. I can do plugs, sockets and some light fittings, but this lady I know, her fuse box looks in a bad shape and the council aren’t coming out to help. I swear it’s going to explode. Mind you, she seems to overload her sockets with plugs. I need to ring-.’
‘I’m an electrician.’
Esme shook her head.
‘But your van?’
‘Yes, I am a landscape gardener but I’m also a qualified electrician,’ he said, before glancing at his watch. ‘I have to go and pick up Mali right now but I don’t mind taking a look at her fuse box tomorrow.’
‘That’s good to know. I sometimes need an electrician for certain jobs.’
‘I thought you hired only women.’
‘Yes, but I make allowances for certain people.’
‘Certain people?’
This is when she would have to tread carefully, not wanting to openly reveal his secret.
‘Yes, single parent families. You’re both the mother and the father, aren’t you?’ she said, pleased with her answer then wondered if he was the man or the woman, which made her giggle again.
Whichever way, whoever ended up in bed with Leon was certainly lucky.
‘Is she fit?’
Graham was waiting to be served at the bar. ‘You know what they say about friendly neighbours.’
‘She’s fifty and thinks I’m funny,’ scowled Leon, agitated that after a week of being spotted, Esme was still giggling when she saw him. ‘I also think she’s a bit odd.’
‘Even better! You can slip one in, and
she won’t notice.’
‘Pure class.’
They had known each other for years after meeting at college when studying landscape gardening. His best friend now worked for him.
It was Graham’s wife, Chikelu, who helped Leon out when Bennylita left him and Mali. They had a couple of small children, so donated as much as they could to a shell-shocked Leon.
Graham was medium height and carried a little bit of weight on his middle, other than that; he was slim. He had thinning brown hair that he kept short and bright blue eyes. When younger, he was a good looking bloke. But working in the sun and too much beer started to take its toll on his skin. His wife was from the Cameroon and defied her family by falling in love with the white man.
They turned their back on her, but the couple had fallen in love so she put Graham first and her parents second. A decade together, and Leon could see they had a happy but hectic life. With two young sons, Graham prayed for his once a week session with Leon, just to get out of the house.
‘And what else is it about your neighbour that’s bugging you?’
‘She keeps giving me strange looks ever since she saw me leave Zoe’s place.’
‘Ah, the comment about shoots and leaves,’ Graham grinned. ‘Well, she has a point.’
‘But I don’t want her to think that I shag around because I don’t.’
‘But you do with certain women.’
‘Only Zoe as she has an adult view of things.’
‘Casual sex,’ sighed Graham, letting out a big sigh. ‘Those were the days.’ Then he looked at Leon. ‘Do you fancy this Esme?’
‘She’s far too old.’
‘Zoe’s in her mid-forties. Now how good is she on the wank scale?’
Leon laughed out loud.
The men had put together a marking level for sex, based on self-pleasure. If it was as good as a wank, then the sex was very good; if it was like a wank then it was average; worse than a wank there was no doubt it was awful.
The pinnacle was better than a wank because it was excellent.
It was a scale that only the pair of them used.
‘It’s like a wank, give or take her use of language,’ smirked Leon, as Graham grinned. ‘But she’s a lovely woman.’
‘And she’s middle aged so it must get better with age.’
‘Forties and then there are fifties. Anyway, I don’t want to shit on my own doorstep, so to speak. Mali likes Esme, and she has looked after her a few times for an hour here and there.’ Leon felt a little perplexed that he couldn’t suss out Esme, thinking she had been acting strange since bumping into him. ‘Which is a good thing to have.’
‘So why do you keep going on about her if you don’t fancy her?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I see her most days when she doesn’t see me. Plus she can get me work. She has contacts.’ Leon noticed two young attractive women walk into the pub. ‘Thing is, why would I want someone older when there are all these gorgeous young women about?’
‘I think you fancy her, and you’re in denial.’
‘Let’s change the subject.’
‘How are you settling in?’ Graham asked, getting the drinks and handing one over to Leon. ‘Is your mother still visiting every day?’
‘I don’t think she will ever stop even if I asked her. Why she still wants to drive all the way from north London to west is beyond me.’
‘You could have moved closer.’
‘I couldn’t afford a place there. To be honest, I wanted some space so I could bring up my child. We’ve been living in the area for a couple of years now.’ Leon noticed Graham frowned. ‘I appreciate my parents help but sometimes, I don’t have control over Mali. She thinks she wants to be Jewish.’
‘Oy ve!’
‘Exactly.’
Sitting down at a table in the corner of the pub, Leon took a sip of his beer and let out a disgruntled sigh.
‘Now what’s wrong?’ Graham asked, knocking back half his drink in a few swallows.
‘I don’t meet any women.’
Leon noticed Graham scowl then laugh to himself before leaning closer.
‘You meet loads of women. At work when you’re gardening and the spark jobs. They’re all over the place. The thing is, you don’t act like you’re interested. When you are, you have a good habit of picking the ones where you know there’s no future. Or saying something completely inappropriate and wondering why they get upset, to the ones you like.’
‘That’s down to nerves. I don’t do that all the time.’
‘Or thinking out loud, which happens all too often. Then you do that pros and cons thing, which always cocks everything up. Anyway, not all women are like that deceitful cow you ended up with.’
‘Don’t.’ Leon let his head fall. ‘She’s Mali’s mother. Ben had another agenda.’
‘Her agenda was she tricked you and lied. Little did she know how much she would hate her baby, and that was probably the only good thing that came out of it. Mali.’ Graham seemed upset at the thought. ‘And I know you were heartbroken. Ben can’t come back and take Mali. Your parents paid her off, and she willingly took the cash and signed the agreement. Now you have to move on and find someone new.’
‘It’s not that easy. I can understand why single mothers say they never meet anyone. People get scared off when you tell them you’ve got a kid.’
‘Then don’t.’
‘Mali comes with the package, and I want to be honest. If they don’t like it, then tough.’
‘And Mali? If she doesn’t like them then it’s tougher, don’t you think?’
Pondering on that thought, he took another sip of his drink.
‘I wish she had a brother or a sister,’ he groaned, seeing Graham shake his head from side to side. ‘I don’t want her to be lonely.’
‘Stop looking at the surrogate mother websites. Mali is enough for you,’ he whispered sympathetically. ‘And it costs a fortune. I take this down to you being lonely.’
‘I always wanted a large family, but I’ve got no chance. Maybe I should get my mother to fix me up,’ he groaned as Graham started to laugh. ‘Some nice Jewish girl who’d accept the half English, half Malaysian child with open arms.’
‘Oh no!’ giggled Graham. ‘Things must be getting bad if you want Barbara to get involved.’
When he got back home, he looked out the window and noticed Esme was gardening. Half of him desperately wanted to go and speak to her. The other half thought he was doing it because he felt lonely when Mali wasn’t at home.
On closer inspection, it looked like Esme was sitting by the bedding area examining her camellia bush then shaking her head. He noticed her lethal secateurs were on the ground.
Right then, he wanted female company even if it was his fifty-year old neighbour.
Walking out, he quietly stepped onto his patio and went to the fence separating them. There was a hole, and he looked through it. He could see her small patio, with a table and chairs. It looked very pretty.
Leon decided to make a move and go past the bags of garden waste he needed to get rid of. He stopped at the gate and looked over.
‘Hello,’ he said, watching Esme startle. ‘Sorry, did I scare you?’
‘No, that’s fine. You’re a gardener, aren’t you? How do I get rid of this bloody blackfly? I don’t want to use a pesticide. I tried this organic mixture, and that was a waste of money.’
‘Can I come in and take a better look?’ he asked, opening the gate and walking towards her. Leon knelt down and grabbed a leaf. ‘Unfortunately, chemical pesticides are the most effective, but a solution of washing liquid and water might help.’
‘How?’
‘It’s a mild detergent and it will wash off their waxy coats as well as dehydrating them. Well, that’s what I tell people.’
‘Interesting. Any type of liquid? I use Fairy.’
‘Perfect,’ he replied and noticed she glanced at him quickly before looking at the leaves. ‘I’m lu
cky to have green fingers. Not everyone has.’
‘Well, you should stop picking your nose then,’ she replied before letting out a little laugh.
Leon smiled and swore she blushed but couldn’t tell as her head was down.
‘It’s good you specialise in shoots and leaves, isn’t it?’ she said before starting to laugh. ‘Sorry.’ Esme moved her legs, so she was sitting on the grass. ‘You could have said it was an electrical job.’
‘It was for sex,’ he bluntly replied and watched her swallow hard. ‘Let’s not talk about it again, okay?’
‘Sure! I didn’t mean to pry.’ Esme looked embarrassed. ‘You know, I’ve not been a good neighbour. I keep meaning to ask you and Mali round for dinner.’
‘You don’t have to,’ he said, looking at her pretty face and wanting to smile, seeing she looked uncomfortable.
Maybe it was his blunt comment about going to Zoe’s that threw her.
Esme didn’t look her age. That was rather confusing. On closer inspection, she didn’t have any lines compared to the three running across his forehead and some around his eyes.
She had beautiful brown eyes, rosy cheeks and intense dark pink lips. Her face was bare of make-up, and the woman was quite stunning close-up.
Leon realised he was staring as she turned her head away.
‘Where’s Mali?’ she asked, starting to get to her feet as he did the same. ‘I didn’t get my daily visit.’
‘She comes in every day?’ He hadn’t realised what his daughter was getting up to, especially when his mother picked her up from school. ‘I’m sorry if she’s-.’
‘Don’t apologise,’ Esme said, starting to laugh. ‘She’s great company and gets a lollipop. I’m sure she comes for the confectionary. Since my son moved out, I’ve been trying to get used to living alone.’
‘How old is he?’
‘Twenty-three.’
‘That old?’ Even he couldn’t hide the surprise in his voice.
‘That old,’ she nodded then thought hard for a moment.
‘Sorry, but I have a bad habit of saying what I think. I didn’t mean to sound rude.’
‘I have a habit of being overly sensitive about certain subjects, mainly my age and you weren't rude.’ Esme smiled. ‘Would you like a drink?’
