by S M Mala
‘He’s very handsome.’
‘If you like that sort of thing,’ he replied, getting a little bit jealous of his mother’s overzealously eyeing up of Ralph Parker ‘Hi, how can I help?’
He was greeted with a warm handshake.
‘I’d like you to take on the project in my garden,’ he said, smiling at Barbara then back at Leon. ‘I’m not sure about your workload but could you advise when you’ll be able to start? I’d like it done before the end of May, if at all possible.’
‘Hello,’ she said, walking up to them. Leon noticed Mali huff and stomp off into the house. ‘I’m Leon’s mother, Barbara.’
‘How do you do?’ Ralph said, shaking her hand.
‘I’ll look at my diary and will text you when we can start,’ Leon said, stepping in front of his mother. ‘But it can be done soon enough, no problem at all.’
‘Got to go,’ Ralph said, looking at his watch. ‘I’ve got to meet the ex and kids before coming back to take Esme out for a drink.’ He then smiled mischievously. ‘Then we’ll take it from there.’
He didn’t like the feeling of jealously stirring in his gut, so decided to ignore it, knowing Esme wouldn’t take it anywhere with Ralph.
That’s what he hoped.
‘She’s going out with Ralph?’ Barbara said, looking impressed. ‘Well, that’s interesting, don’t you think?’
‘They’re just friends,’ he shrugged and walked into the house. ‘But Ralph thinks there’s more to it.’
‘And how would you know?’
‘Esme told me.’ He turned to see Mali had put the television on. ‘Did you wash your hands?’
‘Yes,’ she nodded.
‘When?’
‘This morning.’
‘Mali?’
She got up and went to the kitchen, standing on the wooden step and washed her hands, spraying water all over the place.
‘Be careful,’ he said, rushing towards her and switching off the tap. She was laughing because her uniform was now saturated. ‘Look what you’ve done.’
‘I’ll change her,’ his mother said, walking into the kitchen and taking her hand. ‘You better go and get ready.’
‘Where daddy go?’ asked Mali, glancing at the water on the floor.
‘He’s going out for a drink with Melanie, the hairdresser,’ whispered Barbara.
‘No!’ Mali screamed, holding onto her hair. ‘She will hurt you, daddy! Don’t go!’
‘I’m not getting my haircut,’ he said, perplexed by Mali’s reaction. ‘Why don’t you like her?’
‘She horrid!’
‘Mali, that’s not very nice,’ Barbara said, starting to get upset. ‘It’s quite rude.’
‘She smell of stinky and has a big nose!’
Leon choked on his own spit, hearing his child’s words and started to laugh hard.
Melanie did wear too much perfume, and her nose could be described as strong, as it was long with a definite curve.
‘You’re not helping matters!’ Barbara hissed to Leon, taking Mali up the stairs.
He turned his head and noticed Esme was pottering around in her shed. It looked like she was clearing it out. Opening the door, he walked half way down the garden.
‘You’re home early,’ he said, making her jump then smile.
He would have preferred to spend the evening in her garden, rather than a wine bar in West Hampstead. The idea of being with Melanie wasn’t very appealing, but he couldn’t let his mother down.
One date and that would be it.
He would have done the deed then he could be left alone.
‘I’m trying to throw out some old junk,’ Esme replied. ‘I’ve done as much as I can at the house. I was only in the way, and I’ve put down some paint stripper that I’ve got to remove first thing tomorrow morning. All the others are leaving at lunchtime, so it might just be me and your gang.’
‘I’m going to do the layout for the planting tomorrow,’ he said, looking at her pull out a wooden frame of a single bed. ‘Do you need some help?’
‘I’m donating this to a charity shop that gives it to families that can’t afford furniture. The van should be turning up in an hour.’
‘Esme,’ he said, realising she was none the wiser about his sexuality. ‘Were you trying to fix me up with your son on Sunday?’
She dropped the frame, and it landed on her foot, as she shouted out and then hopped around the garden. He laughed then rushed through the gate to see if she was okay. Leon could see she was looking at her foot that was covered in her work safety boots.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked, looking at her examining the boot.
‘That hurt!’
‘Can you wiggle your toes?’
‘Yep,’ she said, looking up at him. Their faces were millimetres away from each other. ‘Nothing’s broken.’
Something felt like it clasped his lungs when he looked into her brown eyes.
He couldn’t breathe.
‘You rumbled me,’ she said standing up. ‘But-.’
‘She won’t put on what I want her to wear!’ shouted out Barbara from the top window of the house. ‘Can you sort her out?’
Leon couldn’t take his eyes off Esme, and she was equally looking at him, but it wasn’t the sympathetic glance, it was more of confusion.
He wondered what she was thinking.
‘Good night!’
Esme whispered and waved at the window which was Mali’s bedroom. The little girl was intent on not going to bed but then ran from the window. The next thing she noticed was Barbara walking into the room.
Locking her shed door, Esme was happy she had more space even though Alfie wanted his Lego, which she refused to give back, knowing he would lose the pieces. She was going to sell it on an auctioning website to make back the money she had forked out for the stuff when he was little.
It went into thousands of pounds.
She was pleased she managed to avoid Leon’s question about Alfie.
Though Esme did glimpse at him when he was heading off out, looking drop dead gorgeous.
But when she looked at him close up in the garden, she knew she was feeling something more for her gay neighbour.
That was the confusing thing, and she seriously wondered if she needed to speak to someone about it.
The big unrequited love, attraction thing was going through her body and head.
‘Is she still waving at the window?’ Barbara asked, standing by the door. ‘I can hear her running in and out of her bed.’
Esme looked up, and Mali was waving again but this time, she shook her head in response and pointed towards the door. Barbara stepped out, and it looked like Mali jumped back into bed.
‘How are you?’ Barbara asked, walking out into the garden. ‘Leon says you’ve been getting him lots of work.’
‘Not lots, just a few jobs here and there,’ she replied, sipping her glass of wine. ‘Would you like one?’
‘I can’t,’ Barbara replied, glancing up. ‘I’m on Mali watch.’ Then she smiled. ‘Leon’s gone on a date with Melanie, my hairdresser. She’s always liked him since she was little. I used to go to school with her mum and Leon went to school with Melanie’s brother. I’m hoping they’ll hit it off.’
Not wanting to state the obvious, Esme wondered if Barbara was aware of her son’s sexuality. She pondered if Leon had ever introduced Ben to his mother. That would have surely cleared up the confusion.
Or maybe Leon didn’t and was still in the closet?
‘Is she the hairdresser that Mali thinks hurts her hair?’ asked Esme, not wanting to intimate anything negative about the woman she didn’t know.
‘Mali can’t keep still and Melanie’s just being firm, which doesn’t go down well.’ Barbara shook her head from side to side. ‘Thing is, we spoil that little girl and sometimes she’s not used to other people telling her what to do. If Leon meets the right woman, then Mali’s going to have to learn.’
‘What if he doesn�
�t meet the right woman?’
‘He’s a handsome boy and he will.’ Then Barbara looked quizzically at Esme. ‘And your son? Has he a girlfriend?’
‘He’s gay.’
‘Oh my!’ came Barbara’s shocked reaction.
‘Oh, my son is indeed a gay man, a very beautiful one. He is also Mali’s teacher, which I only found out about last weekend. Small world.’ Esme could see that Barbara didn’t know what to say. ‘I love him and whoever and whatever he loves, I’ll support.’ That was a blatant lie when she thought about Vincent. ‘Give or take.’
‘I had no idea,’ she said loudly, shaking her head from side to side. ‘And you’re happy about it?’ The tone wasn’t accusing; it was more questioning. ‘I don’t mean to be rude, sorry.’
‘I’m happy he’s happy. If he’s attracted to men, so be it.’ Then she thought it was best to shock the woman all at once. ‘His grandmother, my mother in law, also came out in the last fifteen years, so it has all been a littler queer, literally, in my household. They’re not perverts; they just like the same sex person.’
Handing over a glass of wine, she could see Barbara needed a sip.
She dreaded to think how the woman would react when or if she ever found out about Leon.
Then it hit her with a massive thud.
The idea he was spending time with the hairdresser who hurt Mali’s hair was upsetting. Barbara handed back the glass of wine as Esme took a massive gulp.
‘It’s been hard, Barbara,’ Esme said, wanting to be honest. ‘Alfie was teased at school but it’s not because he was effeminate. It’s because he didn’t lie about his choice, and that didn’t go down too well with some of the boys and girls. And I’ve had to be incredibly careful about the men that I met and my son. The same way Leon will be with Mali.’
‘Your life is fascinating.’ Barbara looked like she meant it.
‘It’s very quiet and boring, but I like it that way.’
‘Thanks for the wine,’ Barbara said, walking back into the house.
Esme knew Barbara was wondering what sort of neighbours her son had moved next door to.
‘How was last night?’
Leon was standing in the room watching Esme peel off some paint from the skirting boards before washing it down. ‘I saw you with Ralph when I got home.’
‘How was your date?’ she asked, not turning around, which meant Leon was speaking to her backside, which wasn’t too bad.
‘Good. She’s a nice young woman,’ he shrugged, looking at his sketches on the pad and glancing outside. ‘Ralph seemed happy.’
‘You mean pissed.’
When Leon had got a cab home, he noticed the couple were standing outside Esme’s house. He got out and decided to walk down the road. Then he heard Ralph trying to convince Esme to let him spend the night.
Leon made sure he wasn’t spotted as he headed for his front door.
He could hear what was going on and wanted to jump out and thump Ralph when he could see he had Esme in a tight grip. And she looked so tiny against the tall man, it seemed unfair.
But he was impressed with how she managed to get out of it then got jealous when she kissed Ralph lightly on the lips.
Melanie had kissed him before they parted company, but he didn’t feel anything, other than she seemed overly keen. Leon wasn’t convinced she was only twenty-five. The woman seemed a lot older, talking about getting married and kids.
‘Are you going to see her again?’ Esme asked, still not turning around. ‘Your mum seems made up about it.’
‘You don’t like Ralph, do you?’ he blurted out, watching her sit up. ‘I mean, he’s not really your type, is he?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Esme turned to look at him. ‘You don’t know my type.’
‘I know he’s rich and successful. I’ve seen him taking women home, so he does not want a one to one unless it’s the horizontal shuffle.’ Leon couldn’t hold back. ‘He probably wants to give you one to boast about it.’
‘What’s there to boast about?’ She started laughing. ‘Having sex with me?’
‘Why not?’
He had been thinking of having sex with her for weeks, when all alone in bed, and feeling horny. It was hard not to, considering her bedroom was next door to his. This he knew because some nights, he stood in the back of his garden looking up, and could see she never went into the backroom. Occasionally he would spot her at the front of the house, when he was coming in late, knowing a brick wall separated them.
‘I know you want the company but I’m sure there’s someone out there for you.’
‘If you find them, give them a shot of Prozac and deliver them to my door, please?’ she giggled.
This is why Leon liked her. One of many reasons. She had no idea how lovely she was.
‘Thing is,’ she continued. ‘I need kindness from time to time and Ralph gives it.’
‘He certainly wants to give it to you,’ he found himself jealously saying, hoping she didn’t realise it in his tone of voice. ‘I mean, if that’s what you want, sex with the barrister. Go for it.’
‘Maybe, I’ll have no choice but to succumb to him with his wig and cloak, all for the milk of human kindness.’
‘You’re better off getting a four pint carton than relying on Ralph for that,’ he laughed. ‘He obviously just wants to shag you, and seriously, you could do so much better than him.’
‘How do you know?’ She stood up slowly to face Leon. He hid his little sigh on looking at her. ‘I’m fifty years old and I can’t give a man a family. Jesus, if I got pregnant at this age that would be a miracle. Then there’s my lesbian mother in law and homosexual son. I mean, when I spoke to your mum about it last night, even she looked at me as if we were a bunch of nutters.’
‘You were talking to her about Steph and Alfie?’
‘Your mum asked if Alfie had a girlfriend, so I thought it was best to be honest.’
Leon stepped closer, seeing Esme was pondering something.
‘I did try to fix you up with my son, and then realised that he was Mali’s teacher, and it would be inappropriate.’ Esme forced a little smile. ‘I thought you might like each other.’
‘He’s only twenty-three.’
‘Better than being fifty.’
‘Not necessarily.’
‘You like old guys?’ Her face was a picture, instantly frowning. ‘I suppose all men aren’t like Vincent.’
Leon wondered how long he could keep it up for, his pretend gay demeanour, and then decided he was going to laugh. Opening the back door, he stepped out into the garden, holding it all in.
‘You know, your mum doesn’t know you’re gay, does she?’ she quietly asked, following him out. He tried not to smile. ‘She thinks this Melanie is a good match. How old is she?’
‘Twenty-five.’
‘She’s only two years older than Alfie! So what’s wrong with my son?’
‘Nothing.’
‘But-.’
‘Thing is Esme, what made you figure out I was gay?’ he asked, still unable to look at her. ‘I’d be interested to know.’
‘Maybe I’ve got exceptionally good gay-dar,’ she replied and this time he laughed out hard, bending over. ‘What’s funny now?’
‘Just tell me, so I’m aware of the signs. Is it because I’m effeminate?’
‘No! You’re not effeminate. You’re manly so to speak.’ He heard the hesitation in her voice. ‘I don’t think people would guess, to be honest.’
‘That’s comforting.’
‘Not that there’s anything wrong with it. People don’t think Alfie’s gay, you know. He gets a few women propositioning him, then comes home all shell shocked and deeply disturbed about lady bits.’ Esme laughed. ‘He told me he couldn’t imagine kissing someone without stubble. That explains why he likes to cuddle up with Steph and me. She’s got a few chin hairs… and so have I.’
He glanced over his shoulder and noticed she was rubbing her chin, t
hen stopped when she spotted him looking.
‘So what were the signs?’ Leon turned to look at her flustered expression.
‘I saw you coming out of Ethan’s home and he kissed you. You said you were there for sex.’ She grinned, quickly blinking for a moment. ‘And you called your partner Ben, so that’s a bit of a giveaway.’
‘What else?’
‘You’re good looking.’
‘Good looking?’
‘Yes.’ Then he noticed she started to blush and looked uncomfortable. ‘I have seen some ugly ones, though.’
Slowly he walked up to her, looking down at the rather smug face.
‘I’d like to explain something, but I’m not sure how you’re going to take this,’ he said gently, leaning closer to her face. ‘It might be shocking.’
‘Okay?’ she replied, looking straight into his eyes.
‘You have a pretty face.’
‘That’s sweet.’ Esme smiled. ‘You must need glasses.’
‘I have perfect eyesight, believe me. I can see where Alfie gets his looks from.’
Esme narrowed her eyes at him then frowned.
‘Okay, so here goes,’ he whispered, now breaking out into a wide grin. ‘I didn’t go to have sex with Ethan. I am on casual, friendly terms with someone else in the house.’ Leon looked at Esme’s eyes pointing upwards then a quick shake of her head.
‘Oh, this is what you want to say as a cover up?’
‘No Esme, what I’m saying is that Ben is actually called Bennylita, which is a Malaysian name and the name of Mali’s mother, my partner, who had a vagina.’
Then her eyes moved from side to side, and he watched her break into a sweat before her face got redder and redder.
‘And I expect,’ he said, very gently. ‘That’s why you let me get the work because you thought I was more woman than man. But I still am Mali’s mum and dad. So there you go.’
‘Ah!’ was all she could say. ‘Well, I better press on.’ Esme stepped back. ‘It’s good to talk.’
She then turned on her heels and walked away, before he swore he heard her say, ‘Oh fuck!’
‘You’re not speaking to me?’
