by Olivia Gates
As they exited the room, he finally looked at her. “I hope it’s not your habit to sleep as soon as they do. I have a few things I need to discuss with you.”
She stifled the urge to hiss that she’d lost the habit of sleeping altogether since him, that she had to exhaust herself on a daily basis only so she could turn off and hope for the oppressive silence and darkness of dreamlessness.
Managing to reach her living room without blasting his thick hide off, she sat down carefully instead of flinging herself on the couch. She also refrained from hurling a remote at him as he remained towering over her.
“How would you like to go about declaring me the girls’ father?”
Blinking, her mind emptied. Had she heard him right? He wasn’t dictating a course of action, but asking her preference?
Suddenly her blood tumbled in a boil. “How about you spare me the pretense that you care about what I want?”
“I do care. As Eva’s and Zoya’s mother you are—”
“Entitled to dictate my own terms. Yeah, I heard it the first time. And I already told you, my only term is to have the life I built for myself and the girls. But since this isn’t going to happen, just do what you wish, and don’t bother pretending that my preferences matter.”
Those winged eyebrows she’d once luxuriated in tracing with fingertips and lips knotted as he seemed to examine every fiber in her lush carpet. The way he kept avoiding making eye contact with her at crucial moments was driving her up the wall.
He finally exhaled, his gaze once again on her and maddening her with its opacity. “That first night I came, I had to drive it home that I wasn’t taking go away for an answer. But ever since I met the twins, and we interacted as their parents, many things have changed. I do want this arrangement to work for you, not only for them.”
She never thought he’d say those words—and he actually seemed to mean them. It made everything even worse. Anger was her only defense against him, her last shield. If he made her let that go, what would become of her?
But that was a consideration for another time. For the rest of her lifetime. Now she had to give him an answer.
The truth was the only thing she had. “I haven’t given any thought to how I’ll break the news about you being the girls’ father. I suppose I’ll just tell the people I care about. Anyone else doesn’t matter. Even if I am a public figure, I’m not in the spotlight nearly as much as you and my importance to the media is nothing compared to yours. You’re also the one with a kingdom to consider in your public statements from now on. I’ll leave it up to you to announce this as you see fit.”
“In that case, I’ll move on to the major reason I came.” Suddenly, she wished she hadn’t resented his lack of eye contact as his gaze transfixed hers, paralyzing her with a bolt of blue lightning. And that was before he said, “I came to ask you to marry me.”
Five
“Marry you?”
Kassandra wasn’t even sure she’d said that out loud. From the way her voice sounded, as if issuing from beneath a ton of rubble, maybe it was in her head. All of it. Including what he’d just said, so earnestly, asking her to...
“Marry you?”
This time she was sure she’d said it, judging by the urgency that surged in his eyes.
“I’m only asking this for Eva and Zoya.”
Of course. None of it was or had ever been for her.
“It’s the only way to secure their legitimacy.”
“Legitimacy...” She parroted him again, her shock deepening.
She hadn’t even thought of this aspect of things before.
But he had said he’d claim them, and she’d vaguely realized he meant giving them his name. Yet the significance of that, that it would make them “legitimate,” had escaped her. Now, knowing the implications, it felt so...offensive.
Fury flooded her, drowning her shock. “Legitimacy is an outdated concept. My daughters aren’t and won’t ever be defined or even affected by it. In this day and age, it’s not a stigma anymore to have children out of wedlock.” Suddenly, the room spun, making her slouch back on the couch. “And will you quit looming over me like this?”
He sat down at once, still careful to keep her at arm’s length. His eyes took on a hypnotic edge, as if trying to compel her to succumb to his demand.
“Legitimacy wouldn’t have mattered to me if I was anyone else. I would have become their father in all ways that matter and left it up to you when or if you let them have my name on official papers. But as you just pointed out, with my future role, bowing to the social and political mores of my kingdom has become imperative. Eva and Zoya aren’t only my daughters, they’re my heirs. They have to carry my name.”
“And marrying me is the only way to have them carry your name instead of mine?”
“Not instead, with yours. I want them to have both our family names. They would be Eva and Zoya Stavros Voronov.”
Her heart kicked her ribs so hard she almost keeled over. Those names. They sounded so...right.
But still... “We can do that without getting—”
He shook his majestic head, cutting her off.
“Getting married is also an unquestionable necessity. Consider that not even in recent history has the president of a progressive country had children out of wedlock. It isn’t even a possibility for a king in Zorya. Our marriage isn’t only a must for social acceptance and political stability in this case, it’s also the only guarantee of the twins’ rights and privileges as my heirs.”
“And the restrictions and responsibilities, maybe even dangers. Even if you prove to be a great father to them, and that would be in their best interests, being heirs to the precarious throne of such a stuck-in-time kingdom isn’t.”
The azure of his eyes darkened to cobalt. “While your worries are logical, I pledge I will protect them from anything in this world, starting with any drawbacks of their title and my position. It’s part of the reason why I’m taking the crown in Zorya. To see to it that it retains its useful traditions, but discards any backward practices. It must fully join the modern world where it matters on every level, be it social or political or economical. I will make Zorya a land I would be proud to raise our daughters in.”
His fervent convictions and assured intentions seeped into her thoughts, suppressing misgivings and painting an enchanted future she’d certainly want for Eva and Zoya. Then his last words sank in with a thud, jogging her out of the trance.
“You mean you expect us to move there?”
“It’s the only way for me to be in the twins’ lives constantly, but it’s you who’ll dictate how to divide your time between Zorya and the United States. Of course, it would be ideal if you move to Zorya now.”
She gaped at him, feeling as if she was watching a movie playing so fast everything had ceased to make sense.
“If you fear being in Zorya would interrupt the normal flow of your life, don’t. I’ll have every resource constantly at your disposal. You’ll be able to travel anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice. And when you have to be somewhere for any length of time, or even return here for an extended period, of course the girls will be with you, and I’ll arrange my affairs so that I may join you as much as possible.”
His assurances again underlined the extent of his power and wealth. But only one thing kept screeching like a siren in her mind.
“You expect me—us—to live with you in Zorya, and when we’re back here...?”
His hand rose in a placating gesture. “You’ll have your own quarters in the royal palace with the twins. I will visit them there according to the schedule you set, or have them with me within the parameters you approve. When you return here for visits or for longer stretches and I join you, I will arrange my own accommodations. I’m ready to provide all of these terms and any others
you specify in a legally binding format.”
This nightmare was getting darker with his every word. Though he was insisting she’d retain control of all decisions that shaped the girls’ daily lives and futures, his every promise made her more heartsick. It all reinforced the simple fact that they were adversaries forced to come to an understanding. He’d progressed from bulldozing her to drawing legal lines to protect her share of rights, and no doubt his own. The only interactions they would have would be with the girls and through them, with them playing the part of polite partners in their presence and in front of others. Or would he ask her to play the part of a loving bride in front of the latter...?
Then he answered her uncertainties. “You have nothing to worry about when it comes to my presence in your life. In front of the girls, you need only keep doing what you have. In front of others, it’s accepted for royal couples to be reserved in public, so you don’t need to worry about putting on a facade of intimacy. In both private and public, our relationship would remain as it is.”
In other words, nonexistent.
“I expect you’ll have your own demands and modifications and I intend to fully accommodate your every wish.”
Feeling the quicksand dragging her down into its depths even harder, she choked out, “You’re talking as if I’ve already accepted, as if the only thing to do now is vet out details.”
He stilled. “Why wouldn’t you accept?”
“Why?” She huffed in incredulity. “Are you for real? This is my life you’re turning upside down.”
“I gave you my pledge your life won’t be affected in any adverse way, but only enhanced. You’d be a queen...”
The word queen went off like a gong inside her head.
She found herself on her feet, staring down at him, shaking from head to toe. “You think I care about that title or could even want it? I never wanted anything but to raise my daughters in privacy and peace, and with you in our lives, there will never be either of those things ever again!”
He rose slowly to his feet, and even in her distress her muscles contracted in empathy at the difficulty he found in rising from her too-low couch. As he straightened, his balance wavered, and for seconds, he came so close, heat flaring from his body, in his eyes, and she thought he’d reach for her...touch her. All her nerves tangled, firing in unison.
Then he regained his stability and stepped back, leaving a cold draft in his wake. The blaze in his eyes was gone, as if she’d imagined it. Perhaps she had.
Turning, he walked to the opposite armchair, picked up the coat he’d draped over its back and put it on in measured movements. Then he came back to her where she stood ramrod tense.
He stopped even farther away than usual, his expression as impassive as ever. “I know this is too much to take in, so I’ll leave you to think. I didn’t expect you to give me an answer right away.”
Trying to suppress her tremors, she failed to stem the shaking in her voice. “Are you even expecting any answer but yes? Would you accept any other answer?”
The perfect mask that had replaced his previously animated face became even harder to read. “Any other answer would be no. So no, I can’t accept that.”
Her lips twisted in bitterness. “So why are you pretending you’d give me time to think? Think of what? How to say yes? Or to reach the conclusion that it’s pointless to say anything at all from now on, since you’ll always do what you want anyway, using the girls’ and your kingdom’s best interests to silence my protests and misgivings and make me fall in line with your plans?”
His eyes dimmed even more. And she realized.
What she’d thought was meticulous impassiveness was something else altogether. Bleakness.
This epiphany silenced the rest of the tirade that had been brewing inside her. His despondency dug into her chest, snatching at her heart.
Was he distraught because he had to tie himself to her? Was he feeling as hopeless as she was, sacrificing his freedom and what remained of his ambitions of pursuing what fulfilled him, for the girls’ and his kingdom’s sakes? Would being near her, to have access to his daughters, be too harsh a sentence to bear?
When she couldn’t say anything more, he exhaled. “I didn’t expect you’d welcome my proposition, but I do want you to take some time to think. Contrary to what you believe, there’s a lot to consider, practical details that you need to sort out, questions you need to ask, demands you will want to make. I regret this is unavoidable but I pledge I will comply with any measures you specify to make everything as painless as possible.”
As painless as possible.
The words ricocheted in Kassandra’s head until she felt they’d pulped her brain.
He didn’t even realize he’d already done the most painful thing he could have. Proposing marriage, for everyone’s and everything’s sake but hers.
What made it all worse was admitting she would have jumped at his proposal if there’d been any hope they could have rekindled a fraction of what they’d once had. His offer would have even been somewhat acceptable, for all other considerations, if he wasn’t as averse to her being a constant part of his life.
But with both of them feeling they’d be imprisoned for life, there was no way she could accept.
Forcing her focus back on him, now that she saw through his expressionlessness, it battered her heart to feel the gloom gripping his stance, the dejection that blasted from him.
She struggled not to sound as shredded as she felt. “Even if I believe you’d keep every word, and though I understand the need for this step, I can’t say yes. But I have an alternative. We can tell everyone we are already married but estranged, and that we decided to get back together. I would play my part for as long as you need to ‘claim’ the girls to fulfill your kingdom’s traditional requirements, solving all your problems without creating a bigger one...for both of us.”
His gaze dropped to the ground he now seemed to find so fascinating. Then without even a nod, he turned away.
Feeling him recede, she stared into nothingness, struggling to stem the bottled-up misery he’d stirred up.
The moment she heard him closing the front door with the softest thud, she broke down, let the storm overtake her.
* * *
Each time he’d gone to Kassandra, Leonid had sent away his driver and bodyguards.
The latter, fellow patriotic Zoryans who’d volunteered for the job and considered guarding him a sacred duty and ultimate honor, had always objected. There was no doubt in their minds anymore he’d become king, and his safety was no longer his personal concern, but a matter of national security and what the future of their kingdom rested on.
He’d still been adamant. He hadn’t wanted anyone to know about Kassandra and the girls until he’d resolved everything with her. As he’d gone to her tonight bent on doing.
He’d parked miles away. He still found it hard to walk, always ended up in varying levels of discomfort after being on his feet and moving for a considerable length of time. And that was exactly what he’d needed tonight. He’d needed the pain of exertion to dissipate some of the storm frying his system, the bite of cold to chill a measure of the inferno that had been raging higher every time he’d seen her.
He’d arrived at her home earlier to find the girls with only their nanny. Kassandra had picked today to swerve from her unchanging timetable to catch up on the schedule he’d disrupted.
He’d been dismayed by her absence for about ten seconds. Then the girls had come running to meet him, making him glad instead that she wasn’t there. He could have some time with them alone, savoring their unbridled eagerness for his presence without the searing upheaval of hers.
The nanny, who’d instantly recognized him from the constant media exposure he’d been suffering recently, had delightedly invited him in. Though it had been to his
advantage, he’d at first been disturbed she had without consulting the lady of the house. However, his thorough research, which he subjected anyone who came near Kassandra and the twins to, had indicated she was impeccably trustworthy. Though in her case, Kassandra’s implicit trust in her would have been enough to put his mind at ease.
But besides judging someone in his exalted position to be safe, the lady must have taken one look at him with Zoya and worked out with 100 percent certainty who he really was. Yet even if she’d let him in for all the right reasons, he still needed to have an aside with her about never assuming anything, always checking first with Kassandra. He had zero tolerance when it came to the security of this household.
Only one thing had made him lenient with her. The girls’ fervent welcome. He still couldn’t believe its extent. It had been as if they’d been waiting for him all their lives. As he had been for them.
The only pursuit that had kept him sane had been monitoring their every breath, along with Kassandra’s, in those endless months after his accident. He hadn’t allowed himself to imagine, let alone hope, for anything like that. He hadn’t even tried to extrapolate his own reactions to seeing and feeling them in the flesh.
To have them respond so...miraculously to him had been beyond belief. As for his own feelings, they were...beyond description. At times, beyond endurance. From that moment they’d so unbelievably given him their trust, he’d known. He wouldn’t be able to live another day without either of them.
Tonight had been further proof the magic he’d experienced with them the night before hadn’t been a fluke. By the time they’d climbed over him and fallen asleep in perfect synchronicity, as if they shared an off switch and had telepathically agreed to flip it simultaneously, he’d been beyond enchanted and overwhelmed. Then he’d felt Kassandra’s approach. Long before he heard her garage door opening.
